Our latest Failed Films podcast features Dr. Allie Melendez, sex educator extraordinaire turned intimacy coordinator. After meeting Allie through Sunday Faire earlier this year when they hosted our film screening, we knew we had to get her on the show.Sunday Faire, founded in February 2023 by women and sex workers, creates vital space for the adult industry community with monthly events. Their mantra #playfaire perfectly captures their spirit – building community while advocating for better industry conditions. Failed Films was honored to screen at their PASS-certified benefit party, where our experimental shorts sparked conversations among industry professionals.In our conversation, Allie shares her journey from academia (she has a PhD in Human Sexuality!) to film sets, where she now ensures everyone from actors to crew members feels safe during intimate scenes. Her refreshing take on failure – viewing it as necessary evolution rather than catastrophe – resonates deeply with our ethos at Failed Films.
In our Season 2 podcast premiere, we welcome Janesta—filmmaker, dancer, poet, and Failed Films royalty since our very first season in 2016. From making DIY installations with found materials to creating mesmerizing films like "True Colors" and "Black Light," Janesta's artistic journey embodies the spirit of Failed Films.
Join me, Christopher Holloway and Lauren West as we speak with with Janesta into their evolution as an artist and her transformed relationship with failure. Janesta candidly shares how pain provides information, and why the most beautiful projects often emerge from our greatest struggles. Whether discussing the interpersonal challenges behind artistic collaboration or the liberation of refusing to choose between being an intellectual and a "badass bitch," this conversation offers wisdom for creators at every stage.
"Who's to say when a project is truly done?" Janesta asks—a reminder that our failures are often just beginnings in disguise.
Show Notes:
This week, we spoke with our friend and collaborator, Kasper Smits. Kasper is a musician, composer, video artist, and all-around talented individual. He began his creative journey making films with his dad’s camcorder, which eventually led him to explore the highs and lows of the music industry. Kasper has always followed his curiosity. Despite trying to avoid failure at all costs, he found that failure was impossible to avoid. We talk with Kasper about his path to seeing failure not as a foe but as a necessary part of learning, life, and art. Now, as a composer and filmmaker, he enriches Failed Films with melodies and stories that move us deeply. Please enjoy our conversation with Kasper Smits.
This week we sat down with Gia Isabella. Gia is a chatroom actress, a clip artist and casual pretender. She creates a variety of content, for o^*yfans, p%&nhub and YouTube. I admire Gia’s creative drive and ability to produce a high volume of content for her business. She is at the forefront of being an independent adult creator. I wanted to talk to her about her creative process, her relationship with failure and the origins of her debut film Glory. Gia’s world is a true rabbit hole and it was an honer to spend an hour in it with her. This episode just has one banger after the next. Please enjoy this conversation with the one and only Gia Isabella.
This week, we sat down with the writer, podcaster, and horror filmmaker, DeVaughn Taylor. DeVaughn was apart of this year's curatorial committee. I was excited to talk to DeVaughn about his love of Horror films, the similarities between smut and horror, and the masochistic nature of podcasting. It is an honest conversation that left me inspired. Let’s get to it.
In this episode, Christopher Holloway and Lauren West spoke with, a ceramic artist and claymation creator, Saint Yocom.
They discuss the inferno that is art and the diluted smoke of that fire that is commercial production of art. Saint shares with us the process of making his claymation film about loss of his father and how ceramics has influenced his relationship with failure. It was a real treat to talk with Saint for an hour. It's definitely worth listening in.
This week we were joined by Rea Threat. “Rae Threat is a visionary queer Thai-American artist, photographer, filmmaker, and activist celebrated for her groundbreaking work that reshapes cultural stereotypes and challenges conventional views. Known for her alternative approach to photography, Rae brings a fresh, bold perspective to her art.”
In this conversation, Rea reflects on the evolution of queer porn, the importance of community, and their personal transformation through art. We also talked aoub the challenges of being a creator in the adult film industry. If only we could all live off of peddling smut. I have been making things with Rea for over a decade. It was a real treat to spend an hour talking with her.
Lets get to it
This week, we start with an update from the curatorial team. I was eager to hear their first impressions of the films submitted to season 7. Afterward, we dive into a truly magical and heart-wrenching conversation with Failed Films contributing artist Manolo Lira. We discuss life, art, love, and death. Manolo reflects on the profound influence of their father’s photography and passion for capturing fleeting moments. Antone and Manolo also connect over their shared relationship with the late artist Damien Moreau and the deep impact Damien had on their lives. Please note that this conversation touches on the topic of choosing to end one’s life, so please take care of yourself while listening. I left this conversation with a full heart and deep gratitude for the creative community around Failed Films. I hope you enjoy the episode.
This week we had the opportunity to speak with Tiana Marie. In addition to being a contributing artist to failed films multiple times over, Tiana Marie is a chaotic forest creature who uses their words and flesh to create. Their work encompasses gender, trauma, grief, and the scars we collect along the way.
In the conversation, Tiana shares what it is like to need to feel sensations on their skin. How nature, menstrual blood, and swimming naked are essential for existing in a fucked up world in a body they didn’t choose. We talk about zine-making, processing pain, whether it be chronic or trauma. I love how Tiana emphasizes the beauty of imperfection and the cathartic nature of art. It is an honest conversation.
This week, we put Lauren West, Failed Films co-parent and cohost of this show, in the hot seat. Antone and I wanted to talk to her about her about her amazing collages, fashion design, films, and failures. We talked about subverting the male gaze, art as a therapeutic outlet, and navigating identity and sexuality. What can I say to Lauren besides - thank you. Antone and Lauren breathed life into failed films when it was on its last breath, and for that, I am eternally grateful. As always, I truly enjoyed this conversation, and I think you will, too.
This week we were joined by Shane Yay. Shane has had many films in Failed Films over the years, each one a testament to their curiosity. Shane’s work incorporates a plethora of movie-making craft and techniques that always leaves me wondering how they did that. Their films are soaking with stories that such you in the alien Orpheus.
I was excited to talk to Shane about making their film ABCs of Fetish and what it is like to balance a patron's gaze with their own creative desires.
The conversation quickly turned to the definition of failure itself and how Shane thinks about it within his own creative process. We explored the driving force of dissatisfaction and how to use art to learn new things.
It’s a fun, deeply reflective conversation between old friends, and I hope you enjoy listening as much as I enjoyed being a part of it.
This week, Lauren West and Christopher Holloway sat down with our longtime friend, collaborator, co-producer, and curator of Failed Films, Antone Martinez. When I asked him for a bio, he pointed me to his Failed Films bio, which reads simply: "Antone is under construction." And honestly, that’s the perfect way to describe him—a powerful, ever-evolving force in the world, constantly building and improving.
In this episode, we explore Antone's first film, Breaking Yolks, which premiered during the inaugural season of Failed Films in Oakland in 2016. Antone has been at the heart of the project from the beginning, sharing the intimate details of his creative process and how heartbreak and failure deeply influence his work.
It’s a personal, heartfelt conversation between three longtime collaborators and friends, reflecting on the intersections of failure, art, and growth. I truly enjoyed this discussion, and I think you will, too.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Overview
01:26 Exploring the Relationship with Failure
03:01 Transforming Heartbreak into Art
11:39 The Power of Vulnerability in Creativity
13:15 Creating Connections through Shared Experiences
16:24 The Artistic Process: Experimentation and Risk-Taking
19:12 Love, Brokenness, and Inspiration
23:21 The Power of Community and Equipment
29:23 Empowerment Through Failure and Heartbreak
35:50 Embracing Resourcefulness and Collaboration
Keywords
failure, creativity, personal growth, relationship, vulnerability, heartbreak, art, film projects, inspiration, film, creative community, failures, heartbreak, growth, projects, advice, community, collaboration
In this deeply personal and reflective episode of the Failed Films Podcast, I, Christopher Holloway and co-host Lauren West sit down with the incredibly talented Sloane Down to explore the complex relationship between creativity and failure. Sloane shares their journey from a childhood surrounded by art to a tumultuous path of self-discovery, leaving behind the pressures of conformity to embrace a life driven by artistic passion.
We delve into Sloane’s early influences, the struggles of pursuing art in a society that often demands practicality, and the pivotal moments that shaped their creative identity. Sloan’s candid reflections on dropping out of college, navigating student debt, and finally finding a supportive community in the creative world offer a raw and inspiring look at how failure, though painful, can lead to profound personal growth.
Join us as we discuss the importance of redefining success, the power of community, and the courage it takes to jump into the unknown. This episode is a celebration of embracing failure, pushing past fears, and finding the freedom to create authentically.