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Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips
David Butler
15 episodes
16 hours ago
Christian messages on dating, relationships, finances and marriage and life brought to you by Oasis-Church-NJ.com
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Christian messages on dating, relationships, finances and marriage and life brought to you by Oasis-Church-NJ.com
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Christianity
Religion & Spirituality
Episodes (15/15)
Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips
What Does Gaslighting Mean in a Christian Dating Relationship?
What does gaslighting mean in a Christian relationship? Gaslighting is a term that has steadily garnered attention over the past few years, particularly in the context of relationships. Derived from the 1944 movie, “Gaslight”, it denotes a manipulative tactic where one person makes another doubt their perception, memory, or reality. As opposed to breadcrumbing, in a dating setting, gaslighting can be particularly harmful, leading to mental distress and an erosion of self-trust.
But what does gaslighting mean in the context of a Christian dating relationship? Given the foundational Christian values of love, respect, and truthfulness, the presence of such manipulation might seem contradictory. Yet, it’s crucial to understand that gaslighters can exist in any environment, and no community is immune.
Below, we’ll delve into five ways someone can be gaslighted in a Christian dating relationship:
1. Twisting Biblical Teachings:
One unique aspect of gaslighting in a Christian setting is the misuse of scripture. A partner might twist Bible verses or teachings to control or manipulate. For instance, they may claim that by challenging them, you’re failing to “submit” or “obey” as the Bible instructs, even if your concerns are valid. By making you question your understanding of scripture, they undermine your confidence and keep you submissive.
2. Questioning Your Spiritual Discernment:
In a Christian dating relationship, spiritual discernment is crucial. A gaslighter might make you doubt your spiritual experiences or relationship with God. They may say things like, “Are you sure God told you that?” or “I prayed about it and God showed me something different.” By doing this, they prioritize their spiritual insights over yours, making you feel inferior or disconnected from God.
3. Minimizing Hurtful Actions:
Minimization is a classic gaslighting tactic. If you express hurt or concern over something your partner did or said, they might respond with, “You’re being too sensitive” or “A good Christian would forgive and forget.” By making it seem like you’re overreacting, they divert the blame from their actions to your reactions.
4. Isolating from Spiritual Support:
Community plays a vital role in Christian life. A gaslighter might attempt to isolate you from church members, friends, or family who could support you. They might drop subtle hints that these individuals are bad influences or are envious of your relationship. The aim? To cut you off from those who might notice the manipulation and provide you with perspective.
5. Constantly Shifting Goalposts:
You may find that your partner sets spiritual or relational goals, and once you meet them, they move the bar higher. Whether it’s about how often you pray, attend church, or participate in group activities, they always find something to critique. Over time, this erodes your self-worth and makes you strive endlessly to meet their ever-changing standards.
Recognizing and Responding to Gaslighting:
Gaslighting can be subtle, especially when intertwined with religious beliefs. However, it’s essential to remember that any relationship, including Christian ones, should be built on mutual respect, love, and understanding. Gaslighting is not a reflection of true Christ-centered love.
If you suspect you’re being gaslighted:

* Seek Perspective: Talk to trusted friends, family, or church members about your feelings and experiences.
* Trust Your Instincts: Remember, God has given you intuition and discernment. Trust yourself.
* Seek Counseling: Consider Christian-based counseling to help you navigate your emotions and make informed ...
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16 hours ago
4 minutes 38 seconds

Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips
Third Date Tips for Christian Singles
Are you looking for third date tips? The third date will make or break whether your Christian dating relationship will be long-term or short-lived. I know. I know.  As a Christian single, you may still be working on getting that first date or second date.  But today, we are going to share some third date tips. The first date and the second date are inextricably connected to the third date because if the former ones go badly, your chances of a third date are between slim and none. Okay, but say you “aced” the first date and second, and your Christian dating partner gives you the cue that they would be open to a 3rd date. Now what? Well, that’s what this article is all about. The following third date advice might help you to survive what daters call the second date curse and make it to a third date.
Third Date Tips-Three Things You Should Do
Be Ready with Conversation
I  cannot overemphasize this enough. If you both clicked on the first date, you undoubtedly spent some quality time getting to know one another in a great conversation. The key to a great second date is remembering what he or she told you previously and continuing the conversation on those topics. Not only will you impress your date that you remembered everything they told you, but you will find it east to start the conversation.
Be Ready with Things to Do
This is especially true for Christian single guys, because most single Christian gals like a guy who is in control, or at least acts like he is. 🙂 So be ready with a fun, enjoyable activity where there will also be ample time for sharing your heart. Which brings us to our next point.
Be Ready to Define the Relationship
 Understand that by the third date,  your partner(especially the single gal will probably be wondering what the future holds. Having a DTR, a Defining the Relationship discussion, is the right thing to do at this time because it lets the other party know  where they stand, and whether or not they are wasting their time
Overall, our third date advice is to take it slow and finally, in the words of Peter, “go one step at a time.”  II Peter 1:6-7, 
Christian Dating Advice
 
Christian Singles Dating Tips Home
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1 day ago
2 minutes 28 seconds

Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips
How to Tell If Your Christian Date Is Being Insincere (with Humor and Warmth)







Dating within the Christian community can feel like a breath of fresh air. You’re navigating values, faith, and goals, hoping to find that deep, spiritual connection that’s more than just skin-deep. However, as with any dating pool, you might come across people who aren’t quite as sincere as they seem. Maybe it’s subtle—an offhand comment, a questionable reaction during Bible study, or the way they gloss over prayer time. If you’re wondering whether your Christian date is being genuine or just putting on a front, you’re not alone.
In this guide, we’ll explore some of the telltale signs that your date might not be as sincere as they appear. But don’t worry, we’ll keep it light and humorous—because sometimes, the best way to handle these things is with a little laughter.
1. Over-the-Top Bible Knowledge… with No Depth
We all know someone who can quote Scripture like they’ve got an internal concordance, but when you dig a little deeper, it becomes clear they’re more interested in winning “Most Pious Award” than living out those words. If your date is quoting verses left, right, and center but seems to fumble when you ask them how those teachings have impacted their life, that’s a red flag.
Let’s put it this way: If your date is rattling off 1 Corinthians like they’re auditioning for a seminary, but their personal stories involve little more than “Yeah, I really like that verse,” it might be time to consider whether they’re putting on a show. Remember, sincerity is about walking the walk, not just talking the talk.
•What to watch for: Do they have a real relationship with their faith, or are they simply showing off their Bible-quoting skills? Ask them how a specific verse has shaped their actions or mindset.
2. Prayers That Feel Like Mini Sermons
We all know that prayer is a conversation with God—intimate, personal, and, most importantly, sincere. But if your date’s prayers sound more like an audition for the pastorate, something’s off. It’s one thing to be eloquent; it’s another to make every prayer a mini-sermon.
If your date’s prayer goes on for five minutes, touching on every single theological point ever mentioned in a study guide, you might start wondering: are they praying or performing? Genuine prayer doesn’t need to be impressive, it just needs to be heartfelt.
•What to watch for: Are they praying with sincerity, or do they seem more concerned with impressing you (or God) with their theological knowledge? If you find yourself mentally timing how long they’ve been at it, that might be a clue.
3. Their Church Attendance Seems a Bit… Performative
It’s great to have a date who loves attending church. But here’s the kicker—are they going because they’re deeply engaged, or is it more about maintaining an image? You know the type: they check into every Sunday service on social media, post selfies from Bible study, and make sure everyone knows they’re at all the events. If their involvement feels more like a PR campaign than genuine spiritual engagement, take note.
Here’s the truth: Sincere people go to church because they’re seeking community and growth. Insincere people go because it looks good on their dating profile.
•What to watch for: Ask about what their church community means to them. If they have a hard time describing any real connections or impact, that might signal they’re just clocking in for appearance’s sake.
4. They’re Overly Judgmental of Others’ Faith
Ah, the judgmental dater—a classic sign of insincerity. If your Christian date is constantly pointing out the flaws in everyone else’s faith journey, it might be a red flag that they’re more concerned with appearing “holier-than-thou” than they are with genuine connection.
Look, nobody’s faith is perfect. We’re all on a journey, trying to figure things out. But if your date is busy criticizing everyone else’s church atte...
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2 days ago
9 minutes 7 seconds

Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips
The Gift of Singleness: 5 Top Reasons Why You Might Have It
Have you ever thought about whether or not you have the “gift of singleness?”  You’ve been praying, fasting, and maybe even sent up one of those emergency “God, if this is really your plan, please send a very clear sign because I’m not seeing it” kind of prayers. Yet, here you stand in the land of singleness, and you’re wondering: Could I actually have the gift of singleness? Let’s take a deep breath, laugh a little, and explore some reasons why this might be God’s wonderful plan for you right now. Spoiler alert: singleness might just be a gift wrapped in unexpected packaging.
1. God’s Got Plans… BIG Plans
Let’s be real. You’re not just sitting around doing nothing. No, you’re serving in ministry, building a career, trying new hobbies, making time for friends, and maybe even running a side hustle. When you’re single, you have the freedom to do all of these things without the added responsibility of caring for a spouse. Paul knew what he was talking about when he said, “An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:32). You’ve got some major kingdom work to do, and this is your moment to fully embrace it.
In your singleness, you might be able to focus on things that you wouldn’t otherwise be able to do with the same intensity. After all, there are benefits to being single. Whether it’s investing time in others, pursuing a passion, or just being available to serve when someone asks, this season is all about maximizing opportunities. There’s no need to rush into another phase of life when this one has so much potential. God might just be calling you to thrive in this current season without the distractions of a relationship.
2. Independence Looks Good on You!
There’s something beautifully empowering about being single. You’ve got the freedom to take spontaneous trips, pick up new hobbies, and even binge-watch The Chosen for the third time this month without negotiating TV rights. More importantly, this independence means you have space to cultivate your relationship with God in a way that no one else can touch. It’s just you and Jesus… and that’s a pretty solid duo if you ask me!
When you’re single, you learn a lot about yourself, and you grow in ways that aren’t always possible in a relationship. Your self-awareness sharpens, you become more in tune with your strengths and weaknesses, and you start recognizing God’s voice with more clarity. No one else gets to speak into your daily decisions quite like He does, and that’s a pretty special thing. Who needs a relationship status when you’ve got an ongoing conversation with the Creator of the universe?
3. You’re in “Preparation Mode”
Let’s talk about preparation. Being single doesn’t mean that you’re just waiting around for something better to happen. Think of this time as God preparing you for what’s next, whether that’s a future relationship or another path entirely. Maybe He’s equipping you with the patience to handle future in-laws, the wisdom to navigate conflict, or even the cooking skills to avoid burning a romantic dinner (because let’s be honest, we’ve all been there).
If marriage is in your future, then this is the season where God is working on you to become the best version of yourself. It’s kind of like spiritual CrossFit: it’s tough, but the results are worth it. And if marriage isn’t part of His plan, then He’s preparing you for something even better that aligns perfectly with your unique gifts and calling. Either way, you’re being shaped for greatness.
4. Less Drama, More Pizza
Not to be too blunt, but one of the perks of being single is that you have significantly less drama in your life.
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3 days ago
6 minutes 55 seconds

Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips
Is It Okay to Stay Friends with a Guy When You’re in a Relationship?
Relationships can feel like walking through a field full of butterflies… and the occasional landmine. You’re navigating romance, friendship, and faith—trying to stay balanced while ensuring no one gets hurt. One of those tricky situations is figuring out whether it’s okay to stay friends with a guy when you’re dating someone else.
Let’s dig into this complex question, mix in a little humor, and wrap it up with some faith-based wisdom.
The Friendship Dilemma: Can Men and Women Really Just Be Friends?
The question of platonic friendships between men and women has been around since, well, forever! Some say it’s impossible without feelings sneaking in. Others argue friendship is entirely doable with healthy boundaries and good intentions.
But things get a little complicated when you’re in a romantic relationship. Why? Because emotions don’t come with instruction manuals, and sometimes your significant other might struggle with the idea of you having a close male friend. Even if you’ve never batted an eye in your friend’s direction romantically, your partner might feel otherwise—and this is where the journey gets interesting.
Finding the Balance: It’s All About Boundaries
Now, as a Christian single, you know relationships are about more than just chemistry. They’re about trust, transparency, and honoring the other person. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
If you choose to remain friends with a guy while you’re dating someone else, you’ll need to establish clear boundaries. This is where things like communication, respect, and discernment come in.
Boundaries are like the guardrails on a winding road—they keep you from falling into a ditch. Some practical boundaries could be:

* Avoiding one-on-one late-night meetups (Netflix can wait).
* Being transparent with your partner about the nature of the friendship.
* Steering clear of topics that might create emotional intimacy beyond friendship.

Remember, it’s not just about protecting your romantic relationship—it’s also about ensuring your friendship stays healthy and free from mixed signals.
Are You Being Honest with Yourself?
Here’s the kicker: It’s easy to justify almost anything to ourselves. “Oh, he’s just a friend,” you tell yourself, even though you’ve noticed your heart skips a beat when he sends a funny meme. Or maybe the friend has started sharing things with you that he wouldn’t tell just anyone. ?
Here’s a quick self-check:

* Are you spending more emotional energy on your friend than your boyfriend?
* Do you feel a stronger connection with your friend than your romantic partner?
* Would your boyfriend be comfortable with the dynamic you have with your friend if he knew everything?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, it might be time to step back and ask yourself if this friendship is truly honoring your current relationship—or if it’s becoming something more. As Christians, we’re called to act with integrity. Ephesians 4:25 tells us, “Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor.” That includes being truthful with yourself.
It’s Not Just About You
When you’re in a relationship, your decisions impact more than just you—they affect your significant other as well. One of the most loving things you can do is consider how your partner feels.
If your boyfriend expresses discomfort about the friendship, resist the urge to dismiss his concerns as jealousy. Instead, approach the situation with empathy. Relationships require understanding, and his feelings are valid, even if they don’t align perfectly with yours.
It’s not about sacrificing friendships but about finding a way to love your partner well. That might mean having an open discussion about your friend and...
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1 week ago
7 minutes 1 second

Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips
Balancing Career, Faith, and Dating as a Single Christian: Tips for Working Professionals
Many Christian singles find themselves juggling demanding careers, a deep commitment to their faith, and the desire for meaningful relationships. As a working professional, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by long hours at the office, church obligations, and the search for a compatible partner who shares your values. But here’s the good news: with intentional Christian singles advice, you can achieve harmony in these areas. This article explores practical Christian dating tips for working professionals, focusing on time management, prioritizing God, and finding partners who align with your busy lifestyle. Drawing from biblical wisdom and real-world strategies, we’ll help you build a life that’s fulfilling in every dimension.
Whether you’re a young executive climbing the corporate ladder or a seasoned professional in ministry-related work, balancing these elements requires deliberate effort. According to faith-based resources, many singles struggle with this equilibrium, often leading to burnout or neglected relationships. Yet, Scripture reminds us that God calls us to a life of purpose, not chaos. As Ecclesiastes 3:1 states, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” By applying timeless principles, you can thrive as a single Christian without sacrificing any part of your identity.
The Unique Challenges Faced by Christian Working Singles
Being a single Christian in a high-pressure career presents unique hurdles. Long workdays might leave little energy for Bible study or attending mid-week services, while the dating scene can feel like an added burden. Many professionals report feeling isolated, fearing that their ambition conflicts with traditional Christian family values. For instance, a survey of Christian young adults highlights how career demands often sideline spiritual growth and romantic pursuits, leading to higher rates of singleness.
One common issue is the “fear culture” in Christian dating, where singles hesitate to pursue relationships due to worries about compatibility or divine timing. Add a bustling schedule, and it’s no wonder many opt out altogether. However, this doesn’t have to be your story. Christian singles advice emphasizes viewing your career not as a barrier but as a platform for God’s glory. As Colossians 3:23 advises, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” Recognizing these challenges is the first step toward balance.
Prioritizing God: The Foundation of True Balance
At the heart of balancing career, faith, and dating is prioritizing God above all else. Jesus Himself taught this in Matthew 6:33: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” For working professionals, this means integrating faith into every aspect of life, starting with your daily routine.
Begin by setting aside non-negotiable time for prayer and Scripture reading. Even in a hectic schedule, early mornings or lunch breaks can become sacred moments. One effective strategy is to use audio Bibles or devotionals during commutes, turning downtime into spiritual recharge. This practice not only strengthens your relationship with God but also provides clarity for career decisions and dating choices.
Moreover, involve your faith community. Joining a small group or serving in church ministries can weave spiritual growth into your social life, reducing the isolation many singles feel. As a single Christian, remember that your worth isn’t tied to marital status—1 Corinthians 7:8 affirms the value of singleness for undivided devotion to the Lord. Prioritizing God ensures that your career ambitions and dating efforts align with His will, preventing burnout and fostering peace. Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us: “Do not be anxious about anyth...
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1 week ago
9 minutes

Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips
Where to Meet Christian Single Women or Men
Ever wonder where to meet Christian Single women or men?  I know some lonely Christian single guys in one of the small groups I lead who sure do. A typical question in our support group goes along these lines: “So how and where do I go about meeting a nice Christian girl?”
Since we were curious ourselves (aren’t you guys?), we decided to do some research on the Internet. What we found was quite interesting. For example, In 2025, American Demographics surveyed over 1500 engaged couples to find out how they found each other. Here are the results:
Top Ways Where and how Single Men and Women Meet
Friends/Relatives…65%
Online Dating Services…20%
Common Interest Activities…10%
Other…5%
So what are single Christians supposed to do with these findings?
Start by noticing that each one of the top ways singles meet other singles is through their doing something.
In Matthew 7, Jesus encourages us to practice a proactive type of faith when he stated “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”
Of course, our Lord could answer a single Christian’s simple prayer, and supernaturally drop their perfect match into their laps. That would be cool. But more often than not, He wants us to stretch our faith by putting us into a position of prayerful “seeking and knocking”.
I realize there are some Christians who feel that by their inaction they are being spiritual and submissive to the Lord’s will for their lives. But our God is a God of action, and He calls us to imitate Him, as long as we do so in faith and humility.
 10  ways to meet other single Christians
Therefore, in light of the above singles dating survey here are some practical faith-filled steps a Christian singles interested in dating could take:

*
Circulate your stock. Let your family and friends know you are seeking a mate, and ask them to keep an eye open for you. Don’t be embarrassed, but just step out in faith. Unless you express your needs they can’t help you. Remember that they know you the best, and may be able to spot a good match for you.

* Many local churches host singles groups that create a community of faith-based individuals. Participate in these groups to make connections and find potential dates.
*
Step out of your comfort zone. Each year more and more single Christians are using online Christian dating services. Consider doing the same. On this site, you will find the top Christian Matchmaking sites, most of which offer free trial memberships. A neat positive about online dating is that you can search databases for the exact type of person you are seeking to meet. Just make sure you read about online saftey dating tips.

*
Take time to join in on some fun activities that you enjoy. This could be as simple as attending a church singles group, hobby club, fitness club, or sporting event. These are natural ways to meet other singles in your area of passion and interest.

*
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Diversify your efforts by putting all of the above into action.

*
Keep a positive attitude as you claim God’s promises for your life (Psalms 37:4, Jer. 29:11, Prov. 3:5,6). Remember, He is in control and knows exactly what you need and when you need it. Has He ever failed you in the past?

* For younger singles,
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1 week ago
4 minutes 53 seconds

Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips
Fear of Being Alone Forever as Single Christians
Perhaps one of the greatest fears single Christians face is the fear of being alone forever. Some of us fear being alone as we contemplate the possibility of growing lonely, old, and sick. I know of one single gal who actually works herself into an anxiety attack as she thinks about the fear of being alone. Yet, she paradoxically also has a fear of commitment. Go figure.
Understanding the Fear of being alone
The fear of being alone forever is a common concern that plagues many individuals in our society, and single Christians are not immune to it. Emphasizing faith, patience, and understanding, this article will shed light on how single Christians can approach this fear through the teachings and wisdom of Christianity.
For single Christians, the fear of being alone forever can be compounded by sexual temptations like masturbation,  social pressures within the church community, or societal expectations to find a partner. This fear is often known as monophobia and can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and insecurity.
no fear of being alone  with God’s Plan: 
The Bible reminds us that we are never truly alone. Deuteronomy 31:6 says, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Single Christians must hold onto this promise, understanding that their relationship with God is central.
Trusting God’s timing can ease the fear of being alone forever. Believing that there’s a divine plan for your life can bring peace, even during periods of loneliness.
Christian Community: Finding Support
The Christian community plays an essential role in overcoming the fear of being alone forever. Joining church groups, participating in fellowship, and engaging with like-minded Christians can foster a sense of belonging and connection.
Building strong friendships within the church also helps in creating a supportive environment where single Christians can share their feelings and concerns without judgment.
Personal Growth: Embracing Singleness
Rather than seeing singleness as a deficit, single Christians can view it as a time for personal growth and a deepening relationship with God. Pursuing hobbies, volunteering, and focusing on career or educational goals can make the period of singleness fulfilling.
The Apostle Paul himself celebrated singleness in 1 Corinthians 7:8, stating, “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.” This perspective helps us recognize that singleness is not a curse but can be a blessing in itself.
Seeking Professional Help if Needed
Sometimes, the fear of being alone forever can become overwhelming, impacting daily life and well-being. In these instances, seeking professional counseling or therapy from a Christian perspective may be beneficial.
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1 week ago
5 minutes 49 seconds

Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips
Practical Advice for Widowed Christian Singles: A Warm, Honest Guide
If you are seeking practical advice for widowed Christian singles, you came to the right site. But let’s get one thing straight: Being a widow is hard. No one enters a marriage thinking it will end that way, especially when you’re someone who holds faith close to your heart. But as life can sometimes be messy, so too can our relationships. So here you are: a widowed Christian single. And you know what? That’s okay. Life didn’t turn out how you expected, but God’s not done with you yet—far from it! Let’s unpack some of the common challenges and find hope, humor, and healing along the way.
1. Being a Widowed Christian Single in The Church: Feeling Like a Spiritual Oddball
Being a widowed single in the church can sometimes feel like you’re wearing a neon sign that says, “Please feel awkward around me.” Maybe your church family isn’t sure what to say, or maybe some of them (bless their hearts) treat you like a walking reminder of the “W-word.” Here’s the thing: your value in God’s eyes hasn’t changed one bit. You are still a beloved child of God, no less because of what’s in your past.
Practical tip: Seek out Christian communities that embrace your journey. If you feel out of place in your current church, consider looking for divorce recovery groups or Bible studies for singles. In Matthew 11:28, Jesus invites the weary to come to Him for rest. That includes you, and He’s never weird about it. ?
Light-hearted side note: Be prepared for the occasional well-meaning advice from church members like, “God has someone even better for you!” Smile politely, thank them, and avoid rolling your eyes. It’s okay—they mean well, but God’s plan is way bigger than another human filling a void.
2. Dating: The Wild West of Christian Dating Apps
If you thought dating was complicated before, try diving back in after a divorce. It’s like discovering that the rules of Monopoly have changed, and now there’s online speed dating, courtship protocols, and vague references to “being equally yoked” everywhere. (Spoiler: you’ll find out that “equally yoked” doesn’t mean both liking avocado toast.)
Biblical guidance: In 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, Paul talks about the advantages of singleness—it can be a time of deep devotion to the Lord without distractions. Use this season to grow spiritually, but if you feel ready to date again, take things slow. Pray for wisdom and discernment, and maybe stay away from anyone whose idea of a first date is a 2-hour lecture on the End Times.
Practical tip: Set boundaries early. You’ve been through a lot, and dating after a divorce requires you to protect your heart and spiritual well-being. Pray about the kind of partner you want, and keep in mind that it’s okay if they’re not perfect (just like you). Also, don’t rush—God’s timing, as frustrating as it sometimes feels, is always best.
Dating fun fact: There are actual Christian memes about dating apps like Christian Mingle, and if you’ve spent even five minutes on one of those apps, you’ll understand the humor. Be prepared for profile bios that range from “I love Jesus and CrossFit” to “Looking for a Proverbs 31 woman but no pressure!” ?
3. Finances: That Whole “Two Incomes Becoming One… Oops, Nevermind” Thing
Let’s be real: finances after a divorce can feel like someone upended your Monopoly game and took half your properties with them. You might be adjusting from a two-income household to one, or dealing with a host of other financial challenges. It’s normal to feel a bit overwhelmed by it all.
Biblical encouragement: Philippians 4:19 reminds us that God will supply all our needs according to His riches in glory. That doesn’t mean an ATM will miraculously appear in your backyard,
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1 week ago
9 minutes 3 seconds

Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips
Fear of Commitment in Christian Dating Singles
Are you a Christian single man or woman suffering from fear of commitment, especially when it comes to dating? The journey towards finding a life partner is an intimate voyage, filled with moments of joy, introspection, and sometimes, anxiety. One of the more daunting feelings that some Christian singles grapple with is the ‘fear of commitment.’ But what exactly does that mean, and how can a Christ-centered approach help to overcome it?
What is the Fear of Commitment?
At its core, the fear of commitment refers to apprehension or dread of making a long-term or permanent decision, especially in relationships. This might manifest as a reluctance to enter into or progress deeper into a romantic relationship, despite a genuine desire for connection and intimacy.
For many Christian singles, this fear can be magnified by the teachings and expectations of the faith. Christianity places a high premium on the sanctity of marriage, emphasizing that it’s a lifelong bond. This significant weight of responsibility, coupled with individual experiences or past traumas, can make the concept of commitment particularly intimidating. For example, many have shared with us how dating after divorce can be a very scary experience.
Why Do Christian Singles Experience fear of commitment
Understanding the root causes of this fear can be instrumental in addressing it. Several factors might contribute to a fear of commitment:

* Past Hurt or Trauma: Previous relationships that ended in heartbreak or betrayal can leave scars. These scars might cause apprehension in committing again, for fear of reliving past pain.
* Pressure from Church or Family: Often, Christian singles feel a heightened pressure from their community or family to find the ‘right’ partner, which can lead to anxieties about making the ‘wrong’ choice.
* Perfectionism: The idea of finding the ‘perfect’ God-ordained partner can be daunting. This can lead to a fear of settling or making a mistake in choice.
* Fear of Losing Independence: Committing to someone means blending lives, which can sometimes translate to a fear of losing one’s individuality or independence.

Do you or someone you know suffer from commitment fears?  If you answer yes to any of the below, you just may:
Fear of Commitment Signs
1. Do you often date men or women who are unavailable?
2. Are you staying in an abusive relationship that’s going nowhere?
3. Do you have an unrealistic list of requirements for a potential soulmate?
4. Do you get panic attacks right before a date that causes you to back out?
5. Are you constantly choosing your career over dating?
The sad thing about many singles, both male and female, who are commitment-phobes, is that they don’t want to be. They desire deliverance from this kind of bondage but feel there is no way to overcome it. If this is your situation, please remember that there is no hopeless cause with Jesus Christ in the picture, and many single Christians get great benefits from a certified Christian counselor trained in this area of need.
Remedies for Overcoming the Fear of Commitment:
For Christian singles navigating these complex feelings, the faith provides a wealth of wisdom and guidance.

* Prayer and Meditation: Deepening one’s relationship with God through prayer can be a source of clarity and strength. By seeking divine guidance,
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1 week ago
5 minutes 35 seconds

Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips
How to Get over Someone You Never Dated
As a Christian single, how to get over someone you never dated can be a uniquely challenging experience.  Dealing with unrequited love is challenging as well. But this type of situation is different because the object of our love does not even know we have feelings for them!  Have you ever felt deep feelings for someone who never knew you felt that way?  I know I have! Like myself,  maybe you were too shy to share your feelings or just had a fear of rejection? 
This difficult situation often involves a blend of complex emotions – from longing and disappointment to confusion and self-doubt. However, through faith and practical wisdom, it is possible to find peace and move forward. This article offers guidance rooted in Christian beliefs, focusing on healing and personal growth.
How to Get over Someone You Never Dated Tips
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings and Take Them to God in Prayer
First and foremost, it’s crucial to recognize and accept your feelings. Whether it’s sadness, frustration, or confusion, these emotions are valid. Instead of suppressing them, bring them before God in prayer. The Psalms are filled with heartfelt cries to God from those in distress. Remember, He cares about every aspect of our lives, including our emotional struggles.
2. Seek Wisdom and Comfort in Scripture
The Bible offers incredible wisdom and comfort for every situation, including heartache over someone you never dated. Verses like Psalm 34:18 (“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”) can provide solace and perspective. Spend time in the Word, allowing God’s promises to heal and fortify your heart.
3. Cultivate a Heart of Gratitude
In the midst of emotional pain, cultivating gratitude can be a powerful tool. Count your blessings and acknowledge the ways God is working in your life. This shift in focus can bring about a sense of peace and contentment, reminding you of God’s goodness and love.
4. Embrace Community and Fellowship
You are not meant to walk through this journey alone. Engage with your church community, join a Bible study group, or seek fellowship with friends who share your faith. These connections can offer support, understanding, and godly counsel.
5. Reflect on What You Truly Desire in a Relationship
Use this time to reflect on your desires and expectations for a future relationship. Consider the qualities you value in a partner and how they align with your faith and life goals. This introspection can help you focus on what’s truly important and prepare you for a relationship that honors God.
6. Engage in Activities That Nurture Your Soul
Fill your life with activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Whether it’s volunteering, pursuing a hobby, or spending time in nature, these activities can enrich your life, boost your mood, and provide a healthy distraction from your emotional pain.
7. Set Boundaries to Protect Your Heart
If constant interaction with the person you have feelings for is hindering your healing, it might be necessary to set boundaries. This could mean limiting contact or reevaluating your current dynamics. Remember, setting boundaries is not only healthy but also a form of self-care.
8. Focus on Personal Growth and Self-Discovery
This period can be an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. Delve into self-improvement books, attend workshops, or start a new project. As you grow and learn more about yourself, the pain of unrequited love can diminish.
9. Trust in God’s Timing and Plan for Your Life
Above all,
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2 weeks ago
5 minutes 11 seconds

Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips
10 Tips On How to Make Someone Fall in Love with You
So, you’ve got your eye on that special someone at church, and you’re wondering how to make them fall in love with you. As a Christian single, you’ve got some divine tricks up your sleeve, along with a good sense of humor. Let’s dive into this holy quest with grace, love, and a few laughs along the way.
top 10 tips on how to make
someone fall in love with you
Step 1: Pray Like You Mean It
First things first, we’ve got to bring this matter before the Lord. Prayer is your most powerful tool. But let’s be honest, we’re not talking about those generic “Lord, bless this food” kind of prayers. You need to get specific.
“Dear God, if it’s Your will, please make John (or Jane) notice me in a romantic way. And if it’s not Your will, please make me okay with that and not awkwardly pine after them. Amen.”
Remember, prayer isn’t about convincing God to do what you want but aligning your desires with His will.
Step 2: Shine Your Light
Matthew 5:16 says, “Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Translation: Be your best self! Live out your faith in a way that’s attractive and genuine.
Volunteer at church, participate in Bible studies, and be kind to everyone. Not only will you grow spiritually, but you’ll also become the kind of person someone else wants to be around. Plus, doing good deeds never hurt anyone’s chances in the romance department.
Step 3: Develop a Sense of Humor
Let’s face it, a good sense of humor can make you more attractive. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine.” So, go ahead and make them laugh. Just maybe avoid the dad jokes until you’re sure they’re a fan.
Here’s a safe one to start with: Why do we never tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Step 4: Be Authentic
1 Peter 3:3-4 advises, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment… rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
In other words, don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Authenticity is incredibly attractive. Be genuine in your interests, your faith, and your intentions. No one falls in love with a facade, but they do fall in love with the real you.
Step 5: Engage in Meaningful Conversations
Start by talking about common interests and gradually move to deeper topics like faith, dreams, and values. Sharing your personal experiences and listening actively will create a strong bond. Of course, there are conversations to avoid.
And remember, folks, there’s no faster way to lose someone’s interest than by dominating the conversation. Ask questions, be genuinely interested in their responses, and don’t forget to laugh at their jokes – even the bad ones.
Step 6: Serve Together
There’s something incredibly bonding about serving together. Whether it’s helping out at a soup kitchen, going on a mission trip, or just setting up chairs before Sunday service, working side by side allows you to see each other’s hearts in action.
Plus, nothing says “potential marriage material” like being elbow-deep in mashed potatoes together at the church potluck.
Step 7: Practice Patience
Ah, patience – the fruit of the Spirit that everyone wishes would grow faster. 1 Corinthians 13:4 reminds us that “Love is patient.” It’s tempting to rush into things,
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2 weeks ago
6 minutes 38 seconds

Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips
Is Hinge a good dating site for Christians?
So, you’re a Christian, and you’re wondering if Hinge is the right place to find that special someone who loves Jesus as much as you do. It’s a fair question. Navigating the world of online dating as a believer can be tricky. You don’t want to swipe your way into some weird, faithless fling, but you also don’t want to limit your options to a super niche, gospel-centric app where every profile pic looks like a church directory photo. (You know the ones I mean – the awkward side hug pics from the mission trip? Yeah, no thanks.)
But hey, Hinge promises to be “the dating app designed to be deleted,” and it’s all about finding real relationships. Sounds pretty good, right? But is it Christian-friendly enough to help you find a Proverbs 31 partner or someone who knows the story of Jonah wasn’t just a guy on an extended beach vacation? Let’s dive in and figure out if Hinge is a dating blessing or if you’re better off finding love elsewhere, preferably with someone who can name at least three of the disciples. (Spoiler alert: one of them is not “Paul.”)
The Basics: What Is Hinge All About?
Before we get all judgmental (you know, like when your grandma gives you that look when you’re not at church on Sunday), let’s break down what Hinge is all about. The app stands out because it focuses on creating connections, not just casual hookups. Unlike Tinder, which can sometimes feel like a shallow pool of bad decisions, Hinge tries to make sure you’re actually chatting with people who are serious about finding love. You answer fun prompts like “What’s your biggest pet peeve?” or “What’s your most irrational fear?” (Spoiler: mine is turning into Lot’s wife after one too many glances back at exes). This leads to deeper, more meaningful conversations — you know, like asking if your match is more of an early riser like Noah, or if they’re a bit of a procrastinator like Jonah.
But what makes Hinge particularly interesting for Christians is its flexibility. You can be as open about your faith as you want to be. You can include your religious beliefs in your profile, which means you don’t have to randomly drop “Jesus is my homeboy” into your opening line like a holy curveball. So far, so good, right?
Is Hinge Actually Christian-Friendly?
Now, here’s the big question: is Hinge really the place for Christians looking for love? Let’s not sugarcoat it — Hinge is not specifically designed for Christians, and you’re going to run into a variety of folks with different beliefs. You could very well end up matching with someone who’s more into “spirituality” than the Bible or someone who checks the “Christian” box but hasn’t been to church since Easter five years ago. (Oof, we’ve all met that guy.)
That said, Hinge does let you filter your matches by religion, so you can specifically search for people who identify as Christian. You can narrow it down to meet people who, you know, actually know what a psalm is and won’t refer to the Bible as “just some really old book.” It’s not as targeted as a site like Christian Mingle, but it gives you some leeway to make sure you’re not getting set up with a random agnostic who thinks church is just a quaint place to get married.
And while Hinge doesn’t scream “Christian dating app,” you’re not alone if you choose to use it. Tons of Christians, from all denominations, are on Hinge, mixing it up with the rest of the world. So, it’s kind of like finding a solid group of friends at a wedding where you only know the bride — a little awkward at first, but could turn into something fun.
Pros and Cons for Christians on Hinge
Let’s break it down a bit more — what are the perks and the pitfalls of being a Christian using Hinge?
Pros:

* Religious Filters: You can search specifically for Christians, which means you’re not stuck explaining to someone what a “quiet time” is or ...
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2 weeks ago
6 minutes 23 seconds

Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips
How to Break Up a Christian Dating Relationship
Need advice on how to break up a Christian dating relationship? A famous 50s break-up song gives us this little bit of dating advice on how to break up: “Breaking up is hard to do.” No, ya think?
Whether you are a Christian single couple in a courtship or an online dating relationship, how you break up a relationship will be emotionally painful for both of you. If you are contemplating a break up of your dating relationship, considering the following dating advice may help you avoid a wrong decision while making it as easy and painless as possible.
6  Christian dating Advice Tips on How to BreakUp and Ending a Relationship
Ask the Lord for wisdom ( see James 1:5)
As a single Christian, praying for guidance and wisdom in the matter of a breakup should be the very first course of action before making any dating decisions. You will be less likely to make a mistake if you do so.
Discuss the dating break-up possibility with family and friends
God often leads through our parents’ dating advice, even if they are not Christians. Proverbs teach that there is wisdom in using a multiplicity of counselors, so also discuss the possibility of a breakup with trusted Christian friends. They may very well give you some much-needed advice that helps you make a decision or puts the relationship in a completely different light. Be sure to use these valuable resources.
Be honest, but speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15)
Never bash your dating partner personally, which will only hurt them even more and affect their self-worth for quite some time. Do you really want to do that? Instead, tenderly explain why you feel God’s leading you to end the relationship. As you do this, remember the “Golden Rule”, and how it would feel if someone was breaking up with you.
While face-to-face conversation allows for far better closure, if that is not possible, a handwritten letter is the next best thing. A typed or emailed “Dear John” letter is seen as cold and mean.
Don’t delay the inevitable
Okay, you’ve prayed over the breakup. You’ve discussed the issues with family, minister, and friends. You know what you need to do. Delaying the obvious now will not only cause more pain for both of you but will delay the healing process. By acting now, you give the Lord opportunity to begin leading both of you to the soulmates He has in mind.
Many delay breakups because they may be using the other person until “something better” comes along. Another reason for delayed breakups is that the other person is manipulating by putting the person who wants the break up on a “guilt trip” to remain in an unhealthy dating situation.
Make a clean break
Right, this is going to be hard, but you must be strong here because it is in the best interests of both to move forward. This means after the break up there should be no face-to-face meetings (if possible), no emails, telephone calls, letters, etc. While some couples may agree to remain friends, the data suggests that in over 90% of breakups, this fails miserably and only lengthens the healing process.
Learn from the dating experience
Use this dating experience to learn from your mistakes, and build on the future. What has the Lord taught you about yourself? What has he taught you about what you need in a husband or a wife? If you’ve sexually sinned in this relationship, remember Jesus forgives and cleanses (1 John 1:9). Finally, thank Him for the bright plans He has for you (Jer. 29:11).
Dating after a breakup of a serious relationship can be a tricky experience for any single, Christian or not. Show more...
2 weeks ago
7 minutes 32 seconds

Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips
How to :Gain Self Confidence for Christian Dating
Do you need to gain self-confidence for asking someone out on a date? Some have lost that “confident dating” edge because they have just suffered through a failed long-term relationship, and wonder if it’s worth the risk of getting heartbroken or hurt again. Instead of approaching dating with a confident and expectant outlook as they wait on God, they approach relationship possibilities with fear and anxiety.
Whatever your reason for a need to gain self-confidence, remember you’re not alone. Many singles wonder how they can gain more confidence meeting Christian singles. In truth, confident dating begins internally, within our own hearts, and works out from there. If we’re already screwed up, we’re not going to gain self confidence by getting into a dating relationship. This won’t “fix” your lack of self confidence, but rather make matters worse. Believe me on this one.
Self-confidence is a valuable trait that can significantly impact your personal and spiritual life as a Christian single. It helps you navigate relationships, pursue your goals, and face life’s challenges with courage. However, building self-confidence can be a journey, especially when it’s grounded in your faith. In this article, we will explore practical and faith-based strategies to help you gain self-confidence as a Christian single. By combining biblical wisdom with actionable steps, you can grow in confidence, empowering yourself to embrace all that God has planned for you.
How to gain Self Confidence as a Christian Single

* Embrace Your Identity in Christ 

To gain self-confidence as a Christian single, it’s crucial to start by understanding your identity in Christ. Recognize that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, as Psalm 139:14 reminds us. Your worth is not determined by your relationship status but by your relationship with God. Embrace the truth that you are loved, valued, and chosen by the Creator of the universe. This foundational understanding of your identity provides a solid platform on which to build self-confidence.

* Reflect on God’s Promises

God’s Word is filled with promises of His love, care, and support. Spend time reading and reflecting on these promises, allowing them to shape your perspective and boost your confidence. For instance, Isaiah 41:10 assures us, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Knowing that God is with you and supporting you can instill confidence in your heart.

* Focus on Self-Compassion 

Self-compassion is a vital component of self-confidence. Instead of being overly critical of yourself, practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you extend to others. Remember that you are a work in progress, and mistakes are opportunities for growth. As a Christian single, recognize that God’s grace covers your imperfections. By practicing self-compassion, you can build a healthier self-image and enhance your self-confidence.

* Set Achievable Goals

Setting and achieving goals can be a powerful way to boost your self-confidence. Start with small, attainable goals that align with your faith and person...
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2 weeks ago
7 minutes 58 seconds

Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips
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