This time of year can bring a sense of magic and joy and at the same time, the holidays can also bring feelings of overwhelm and stress. Michelle shares this special holiday guided meditation which is designed to help release the stress and strain you may be feeling and gain a sense of clarity regarding what you value in your life as you prepare to enter the New Year. As a gentle reminder: this guided relaxation recording audio is for just that, relaxation purposes only. It does not constitute medical or mental health advice or treatment, nor does it imply a specific outcome during pregnancy, birth, postpartum, or beyond. Please avoid listening to this guided relaxation while engaging in an activity that requires your full attention. Please stop the podcast and return to it when you can be safely seated or reclining in a supported position. Unless you are the passenger listening to this guided relaxation with headphones on, for everyone’s safety never listen to it while driving or riding in a vehicle. Connect with Michelle: www.BirthEaseServices.com /loss-support Facebook and Instagram: @birtheaselossssupport Thank you for listening! Remember, you are not alone in your grief.

Pregnancy and infant loss can often be the first experience of grief that parents face. Because we live in grief illiterate culture, we often lack the experience and knowledge of what is normal and expected as someone grieves and mourns. Education helps to provide a roadmap through the rocky terrain of grief. Michelle shares the different types of grief bereaved parents can experience such as disenfranchised, traumatic, ambiguous, cumulative, and delayed grief. Resource: www.grief.com Connect with Michelle at www. BirthEaseServices.com /loss-support.com and on Facebook and Instagram @birtheaselosssupport Thank you for listening! Remember, you are not alone in your grief.

As a Certified Grief Educator with David Kessler and Grief.com, Michelle explains the Five Stages of Grief™️- denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance as well as the sixth stage- meaning through the lens of pregnancy and infant loss. She shares that unfortunately over the years the 5 Stages of Grief™️ have been misinterpreted by many, including mental health professionals. These six stages reflect where we are in our journey of grief at any given moment. They are about change we do not want. The stages are unconscious and natural responses to loss. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross explicitly stated that the stages “are not stops on some linear timeline in grief." Not everyone goes through all of them or in a prescribed order. Everyone's grief is unique. These stages can provide a roadmap for grief's rocky terrain and helps us to be better equipped to cope with life and loss. Michelle invites you to also listen to Season 1 Episode 3 for an overview of the Four Phases of Bereavement for Baby Loss. Resource: https://grief.com/ Connect with Michelle: website: https://www.birtheaseservices.com/loss-support, Facebook and Instagram @birtheaselosssupport, Holding Space for Pregnancy Loss Training: https://www.birtheaseservices.com/training-for-professionals

Michele Benyo, founder of Good Grief Parenting shares with Michelle the 4 keys for parents with young children navigating perinatal loss. These 4 keys are self-care, accurate words describing death, inviting conversation, and honoring child-sized grief. She also explains why we need to avoid telling children euphemisms such as “He went to sleep.” or vague words such as ‘gone’ or ‘passed’ when explaining that someone has died. Dead and died have a very specific meaning and those are the only words that accurately tell children what happened. Young children won't understand death, but they still have the accurate word and they are going to grow into that understanding. She also explains why it is important to tell children in an age-appropriate way about the death in an honest and accurate way without too many details. Parents can follow the child's lead if they ask to know more. Michele also shares that children can internalize 4 messages when they lose a sibling: I don't understand, I hurt inside,  I don't belong, and I am not enough. She provides tips to help parents grief with their child in healthy ways. "I just think that when we are a bereaved parent and we have other young children to raise, we are being asked to do two of the hardest things we'll ever have to do in our lives at the same time. And that is to grief a loved one which is such hard work and parent a young child in those formative early childhood years."—Michele Benyo Connect with Michele Benyo at https://goodgriefparenting.com/ and on Facebook and Instagram at Good Grief Parenting. Connect with Michelle Smith at https://www.birtheaseservices.com/loss-support and on Facebook and Instagram at Birth Ease Loss Support

Anna Humphreys, co-director of Calm Birth, and Michelle explain the last practice in this series of 3 meditations for healing during or after an abortion. This meditation, Renew, is based on the practice of Giving and Receiving, a practice from ancient wisdom. It is tong len, compassionate breathing, applied to the ending of a pregnancy. It’s a practice of breathing healing for self and others. Please note, when practicing compassionate breathing, we are breathing in the awareness of challenges or suffering (our own or others) without taking in the suffering and exhaling an intention for peace, healing, or compassion, etc. towards ourselves or others. “I believe that there is a subtle, but profound, effect when we do direct our attention and our intention toward healing ourselves and others.” -Anna Humphreys For those of us at Calm Birth meditation that have been working on this Calm Abortion project, it is our hope that these meditations help to invite healing for whoever chooses to listen, no matter how long ago they experienced an abortion for any reason or circumstance. Learn more: Instagram and Facebook @calmabortion Resources: ACOG (The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) Statement on Abortion Bans, World Health Organization's statement on abortion, Evidence Based Birth: Abortion Research Resource Guide, and Grief After Abortion: healing from unspoken loss

Anna Humphreys, the co-director of Calm Birth, shares why this project of healing meditations for abortion is essential. Restore, the second meditation in the series is based on the practice of opening, a healing progressive relaxation meditation. The method is based on Progressive Relaxation techniques developed by Edmund Jacobson, M.D., at the Harvard Medical School and the University of Chicago Medical School in the 1920s and 1930s. A wide range of medical problems were successfully treated by healing corresponding problems in the nervous system. The method was then further developed in the University of Massachusetts Medical Center's medicine/meditation program beginning in 1979. The body responds to stress with muscle tension, which can cause pain or discomfort. In turn, tense muscles relay to the body that it's stressed. That keeps the cycle of stress and muscle tension going. Progressive muscle relaxation helps break this cycle by reducing muscle tension and general mental anxiety. This practice is useful for sleep and rest. "I’ve seen abortions be incredibly difficult decisions for people whether it’s something they know they want or their life circumstances didn’t allow for a child at the time. Either way, it is a challenging physical experience to release a pregnancy and the healing is rarely honored. That’s why I am so glad that we had this practice of progressive relaxation to draw from that I’m intimately familiar with from the Calm Birth program but that applies so well to recovering from an abortion especially at a time when the female body is being increasingly commodified and criminalized. ...Abortion meditations won't fix the systemic problems that allow these laws to pass, but I think it's an important drop in the bucket. I also love that they're gender-inclusive, because we know abortion is non-binary. These meditations are for everyone, and I hope they reach anyone who could use some extra support."—Anna Humphreys For those of us at Calm Birth meditation that have been working on this Calm Abortion project, it is our hope that these meditations help to invite healing for whoever chooses to listen, no matter how long ago they experienced an abortion for any reason or circumstance. Learn more: Instagram and Facebook @calmabortion Resources: ACOG (The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) Statement on Abortion Bans, World Health Organization's statement on abortion, Evidence Based Birth: Abortion Research Resource Guide, and Grief After Abortion: healing from unspoken loss

Michelle shares the first of 3 meditations intended for healing during or after an abortion. This first meditation, Connect, is based on the Tibetan Buddhist practice of Vase Breathing or Complete Breathing. It's an invitation to tune into the body, recognize the tendencies of the mind, and release unwanted or intrusive thoughts. It teaches the listener to return to their breath when their thoughts are not serving them. The benefits of this meditation extend beyond healing after an abortion. This type of breathing helps with anxiety, depression, managing stress, improving focus, better sleep, and faster recovery from exercise or exertion. Slow breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, also called the “rest and digest” system. It activates the vagus nerve which oversees things like mood, digestion, and heart rate. It will also send more oxygen to the brain and other organs. This practice is meant to be used throughout life. For those of us at Calm Birth meditation that have been working on this Calm Abortion project, it is our hope that these meditations help to invite healing for whoever chooses to listen, no matter how long ago they experienced an abortion for any reason or circumstance. "Abortion is the medical term for the ending of a pregnancy, whether that is a spontaneous miscarriage or medically induced. This term encompasses the termination of all pregnancies. I realize and want to acknowledge that even the term abortion can be quite triggering, especially for someone that has experienced pregnancy and infant loss. And, in my experience of working in the perinatal field for over 20 years and holding a space for grief and trauma with my clients, the ending of a pregnancy has never been taken lightly. I carry their stories with me. Stories of relief, ectopic pregnancy, forced abortion, intense grief and pain when their baby in the womb will not live once they are born and/or will be living in extreme pain for their short life, twin to twin transfer, a mixture of sadness and relief when ending a pregnancy they were unprepared or happened at a difficult time in their life, guilt and shame, feelings of not deserving the baby they are now pregnant with, the belief that they had a miscarriage because they terminated a pregnancy, the decision to end a wanted pregnancy because their partner is abusive and she needs to leave the relationship before she and her other child are killed. Abortion is a part of perinatal loss and bereavement. And as Sunni has shared in our episodes, adoption is not an easy answer or quick fix. There are so many vulnerable and intimate stories that I have been entrusted with and honor fully. "—Michelle Learn more about the Calm Abortion meditations at Instagram @calmabortion and Facebook @calmabortion Resources: ACOG (The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) Statement on Abortion Bans, World Health Organization's statement on abortion, Evidence Based Birth: Abortion Research Resource Guide, and Grief After Abortion: healing from unspoken loss

Ann Pearson and author Margaret Scofield share with Michelle the journey behind the much-needed book I Love You Still: A Memorial Baby Book, which was inspired by the loss of Ann's daughter, Riley, due to miscarriage. I Love You Still is a first-of-its-kind baby memory book made for moms experiencing a miscarriage, stillbirth, or newborn loss- no matter how long ago that loss took place. It is a treasured keepsake to create a tangible way to document and honor the baby's life, no matter how brief. Margaret explains the obstacles that were holding her book—and other books on perinatal bereavement—back from mainstream publication. Shockingly, there is not a literary categorization code (both medical and popular) on the topic of perinatal loss.  These codes are the system through which all print and digital materials are categorized. The BISAC codes list is the preeminent literary categorization tool that is used to organize everything from online search results to bookstore layouts. Please help add a BISAC code for Perinatal Bereavement: The link to the BISG's full Subject Headings list (with a link to the Contact Form) can be found here: https://bisg.org/page/BISACEdition The direct link to the Contact Form can be found here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/K9CH9MD Connect with Margaret on Instagram @iloveyoustillbook or by email margaret@iloveyoustillbook.com

Drawing upon her experience as an OB/GYN and as a mother that has felt the sorrow of pregnancy loss, Dr. I. Cori Baill shares with Michelle the journey of writing her beautiful and much-needed book, "Why is Mommy Crying-explaining early pregnancy loss to young children".  Dr. Baill provides suggestions and guidelines when experiencing a miscarriage. She reminds grieving parents of the importance of not blaming themselves and or feeling shame regarding their miscarriage, doing their best to overlook the well-meaning but often hurtful things that people can say, and remembering they are not alone in this experience. So many others have experienced baby loss, as well. As a professor, Dr. Baill is working to instill the skills of humanity, empathy, and compassionate care in the next generation of physicians. "There is just too much silence about miscarriage. Women have grieved way too long in silence and have been told, 'You'll get over it, just move on.’ And, I don't think that's the appropriate message. We should have the time, and the permission and the support to grieve the loss of a pregnancy." —Dr.  Cori Baill Connect with Dr. Baill on Facebook @whyismommycrying, Twitter and Instagram  @wimcbook Connect with Michelle at www.BirthEaseServices.com /loss-support, Facebook and Instagram @birtheaselossssupport

Laura LaBelle and Michelle discuss how children are often overlooked as grievers when death and loss occur. They remind us when death and loss occur children are learning how to manage their grief and that they must adjust to a new identity that this loss brings. Laura stresses the importance of conversation and creating an empathetic space where pain can be absorbed. Laura provides tips for communication and helping kids to process their grief such as memory jars, breath and grounding exercises, models of grief, observing how animals grieve, discussions about grief and playing out scenarios, and involving the deceased by creating traditions that remind the bereaved it is ok to still talk about that person. They explain why it is vital for adults to become more comfortable with death and grief. Laura also shares signs to look for regarding if a child is having difficulty coping with the loss. "It's a heightened, heightened, heightened anxious time. And so, often times we don't say anything to kids right away. But they know something is up. They feel it. They can feel it. We think we are hiding it and it's like NO. No one's hiding anything other than the fact that we all see that everyone's kinda freaked out right now. Like nobody knows what to do."—Laura LaBelle To learn more, access resources, and contact, follow Laura on TikTok @Let’sTokAboutDeath, on Instagram @spaceforgrief, or visit lifeshiftscompanion.com.

Mother’s Day can be quite painful for those who have lost their mom or for those that have struggled to become pregnant, experienced pregnancy and infant loss, or the death of a child. For many, the day may bring feelings of sadness, isolation, loneliness, unworthiness, and pain. They may feel left out and forgotten on Mother’s Day. Michelle provides a brief history of Mother’s Day and the creation of International Bereaved Mother’s Day in 2010 by Carly Marie Dudley after the loss of her stillborn son, Christian. As International Bereaved Mother’s Day becomes more recognized, mothers and families can honor one or both days in the way that is best for them, even varying it year by year. Michelle shares tips to support someone that is grieving their child on both Mother's Day and Bereaved Mother’s Day and closes the episode with a short meditation for Bereaved Mother's Day.

Michelle and Sunni VonMutius discuss a type of pregnancy and infant loss in which the grief and loss may go largely unacknowledged: that of placing a baby for adoption. Sunni shares her experience of becoming pregnant as a teenager and placing her son for adoption. Together they explore how the pregnancy and birth of her second child 20 years later has brought renewed grief along with the joy. In the sharing of her story, Sunni wants to support other birth parents and remind them that all of their feelings and emotions are valid and are to be honored.

When we are facing the loss of a baby, it isn't unusual to question one's faith. All the truths that we thought we believed can feel like a lie. We may even feel abandoned or punished by God. When grieving, reminders of God’s Word can soothe the emotions and thoughts surging through our hearts and minds and relax our grief-weary bodies. For this last episode of Season 1, Michelle has recorded Bible verses for bereaved parents seeking comfort within scripture. And while this first season has ended, please follow and/or subscribe to the podcast to stay abreast of new episodes. It is Michelle's intention to release an episode approximately once a month.

Michelle and her sister-in-law, Vicky Kramer, have a heart-to-heart conversation about Vicky's experience with breast cancer and the decision to enter into hospice care. Vicky shares some of the things that well-meaning folks may say to a cancer patient that can be quite hurtful or offensive. She also suggests relying on your faith, whatever that might be, and trying to keep a sense of humor when faced with cancer.

In this very personal episode, Michelle and Susan Dascenzi, Licensed Psychotherapist, discuss the implications of the pandemic as it relates to grief and loss. While this episode was originally recorded in September 2020, Susan's wisdom regarding the journey of grief is just as relevant now especially for those grieving the loss of a baby or a loved one. Their conversation explores the multitude of losses the pandemic has brought us globally. Together they dig deep into the places where we may not even realize the amount of grief and loss we are experiencing due to the pandemic, where we may be in grief overload, and tips to walk with grief. Susan explains the differences between emotions and feelings and what can happen if we push our feelings aside as we work to get back some normalcy. They discuss why people often can have a difficult time supporting someone that is grieving.

Michelle shares her heartfelt conversation with Sarah L. Dickey, grief recovery specialist and fellow Calm Birth Teacher. Together they discuss the importance of holding space for the messiness of grief. "What if we created ways in which we trusted our ability to grieve?"— Sarah L. Dickey

Michelle is a certified Calm Birth Teacher. She explains the Calm Birth meditation practices and shares samples of the meditations the organization designed for pregnancy and infant loss.

Michelle has created a healing meditation as we close out 2021 and enter into the New Year 2022. This meditation can be used anytime to release the heaviness of stress, strain, and grief. It is also useful for those times when you may feel triggered, especially by someone's insensitive remarks or a difficult situation.

Stephanie Smith, E-RYT, PRYT shares with Michelle how meditation and her yoga practice helped her to work through the grief, guilt, and fear of infertility, difficult pregnancies, and miscarriages. Together they discuss how pregnancy loss can shake one's faith, how unaddressed grief can impact us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spirituality, and the importance of finding support and practicing self-compassion.

Tammy candidly shares her unexpectedly difficult journey to become pregnant. In her sharing, she provides the insights she gleaned as she worked with her obstetricians, reproductive endocrinologists, fertility specialists, registered dietitians, acupuncture physicians, her extensive research regarding her own fertility, and the importance of advocating for yourself. Tammy remembers the sinking feeling she got each time she got a negative pregnancy test each month, the grief and trauma of miscarriage, and the self-blame that infertility and pregnancy loss often brings. Tammy also shares with Michelle how her faith and maintaining hope lead to the miracles of her children.