Kelly and Damon kick off a brand-new series on Enneagram subtypes, the instinctual variants that turn 9 core types into 27 flavors. This is the deep end: self-preservation (sp), social (so), and one-to-one/sexual (sx), plus the “three-layer cake” of dominant, secondary, and repressed instincts. In this episode: What sp/so/sx really mean, and how they shape each number’s styleThe “cake” model: why your dominant instinct runs on autopilot (and what to do about the blind spot)How subtypes e...

Kelly and Damon unpack how a Type 9 processes “Be assertive” and why it can feel like a threat to calm rather than an invitation to contribute. Together they map common misreads, offer gentler phrases that work, and give Nines a simple reframe to keep their voice in the room. What’s inside: How “be assertive” can land as “start conflict” (and what to say instead)Gentle prompts that invite a Nine’s perspective without pressureA self-check for Nines: “Are they attacking my calm or making space ...

When you tell an Eight “calm down,” they often hear “you’re too much,” “you’re out of control,” or “I’m censoring you.” In this episode Kelly and Damon unpack why protectors (8s) lead with intensity, why that phrase lands as a threat to autonomy, and how to keep connection without dousing their fire. Try better scripts like: “I can tell this matters, can you help me understand what’s driving it?”, “Can we slow the pace so I can track with you?”, and “I’m listening; I just need a s...

This week we unpack Enneagram Sevens, the joy-bringers who can feel shut down when they hear, “Can you just be serious?” Kelly explains how that lands as “You’re too much,” “Your joy isn’t welcome,” or “We can’t take you seriously,”. We’ll give you better language that invites focus without killing the vibe: “I love your energy, can we shift gears for a minute? There’s something important I want to share.”“This might feel heavy, but I’d really value your perspective.”“This conversation may no...

Damon & Kelly break down how well-meant reassurances land for Enneagram Sixes (The Loyalists). When you say “Don’t worry” or “It’s fine,” a 6 often hears “You’re on your own.” We cover why that triggers alarm (not trust), what it communicates beneath the surface, and the exact, better phrases that build safety, collaboration, and momentum. What not to say to a 6: “Don’t worry about it.” / “It’s fine.” / “No big deal.”“You’re overreacting.” / “That’ll never happen.”“Trust me.” (with ...

Type Fives value space, clarity, and time to think, so “We need to talk” can sound like “prepare to be emotionally mugged.” In this Lost in Translation episode, Damon and Kelly break down what Fives often hear versus what we mean, and offer practical language that preserves autonomy, protects energy, and gets you the thoughtful input you want. You’ll hear: Why drop-ins and vague invites drain a Five’s “battery”The core misreads: I’m about to be overwhelmed, put on the spot, and trappedExact p...

In this episode of Beyond Your Number, Damon and Kelly unpack how silence, quick responses, or even well-intentioned pauses can land painfully with a Type 4. For Fours, depth, authenticity, and connection are everything and when we don’t respond, they can misinterpret it as rejection, abandonment, or being “too much.” We’ll explore why this happens, share personal stories, and offer practical ways to communicate so Fours feel seen, valued, and understood. If you have a Type 4 in your life (or...

Threes often hear praise like “you’ve got it all together” as “you’re a fraud.” In this episode, Damon and Kelly unpack how seemingly harmless comments can trigger imposter syndrome for Enneagram 3s, and what to say instead. Learn phrases that affirm a Three’s worth beyond performance, how to set/receive boundaries with care, and simple ways to show appreciation that actually lands. Plus, a few real-life stories (porch mums included) and a reminder that rest, not more doing, is the path to he...

We’re back from break and digging into Type 2 (The Helper) in our Lost in Translation series. What you mean as a simple boundary,“Thanks, I’m good”,can land as rejection to a Two. Damon and Kelly unpack common misinterpretations, offer exact phrases that keep connection and clarity, and share a few “gut triad” confessions about learning to ask for help. What gets “Lost in Translation” for Type 2 When you say “I don’t need your help,” a Two may hear: “You’re not valuable.”“You’re making this...

We’re dipping back into the archive with a foundation episode on the Triads—Gut (8-9-1), Heart (2-3-4), and Head (5-6-7). Damon and Kelly break down what each triad prioritizes, the core emotion it wrestles with (anger, shame, fear), and how that shapes decision-making, relationships, and self-care. You’ll hear practical prompts (like “What was I angry about today?” for Gut types), why Heart types often read your feelings before their own, and how Head types can get stuck in analysis par...

Today we’re revisiting a deep-dive conversation from our Enneagram U days, all about the Harmony Triads. Damon and Kelly unpack this advanced Enneagram teaching, showing how each triad (3-6-9, 2-5-8, and 1-4-7) holds a unique way of experiencing the world through head, heart, and gut. You’ll hear the humor, real-life tangents, and even Damon’s skepticism as Kelly explains why the triads matter, what each number has “lost,” and how these insights can become transformative rather than just pres...

While we take a short break from our Lost in Translation series, we’re re-releasing one of our most loved episodes: Motivations. In this conversation, Damon and Kelly lay the foundation for understanding the Enneagram by exploring what truly motivates each type. It’s not just what you do that defines your number...it’s why you do it. From the One’s drive to do what’s right, to the Nine’s longing for peace, this episode helps you see what’s beneath the surface of your own personality and those...

We’re kicking off our new Lost in Translation series, all about how what you say isn’t always what the other person hears. This week, we focus on Enneagram Type 1: what they hear, why it happens, and how to speak in a way that builds connection instead of frustration. Learn the hooks that trigger them, better ways to phrase your thoughts, and how curiosity can soften their inner critic. You’ll learn: The common “hooks” that trigger Type 1s (and why phrases like “It’s not a big deal” can...

Ever tried to resolve a conflict only to end up in a verbal boxing match? This week, Damon and Kelly wrap up their 4-part conflict series by exploring the critical roles of speaker and listener, and why most of us play both badly. You’ll learn how to: Take turns (like, really take turns)Use “I” statements without sounding cheesyAvoid emotional ambushes and “speaker-in-waiting” modeCreate safety and clarity when emotions are running highAsk better questions like “What are you feeling?” or “Tel...

This episode is the third in our conflict mini-series, if you missed the last two, definitely go back and catch them! Two weeks ago, we walked through six steps for healthy conflict. Last week, we hit the self-sabotage pitfalls that derail it. And this week? We're laying out a step-by-step path for self-regulation, the actual work you can do before the conversation even begins. Whether it's naming that you're triggered, taking 20 minutes to calm your brain, or journaling out what you really f...

Last week, we laid out a six-step process for navigating conflict, but let’s be honest, sometimes the real struggle is what happens before the steps even start. In this follow-up episode, Damon and Kelly unpack the emotional landmines that often sabotage our best intentions in conflict. From blame to emotional avoidance, they explore five self-sabotage traps and how each Enneagram type might fall into them. Whether you're a Nine trying to keep the peace, a One trying to make it right, or a Fo...

Conflict doesn’t have to mean shouting matches or broken relationships. This week on Beyond Your Number, Damon and Kelly dive into a topic that touches every relationship—conflict. They unpack how different Enneagram numbers experience disagreements, why some avoid it while others charge in, and how even small differences in opinion can feel like big battles for certain types. Kelly shares a practical six-step roadmap for moving from destructive arguments to healthy, constructive conflict—inc...

We’ve made it to the end of our Enneagram communication series—and it’s Damon’s turn in the hot seat as we talk all things Type 9! In this episode, Damon wrestles with “Nine doubt,” shares why he’s skeptical about gentle communication styles, and admits he might be a secret One. Kelly unpacks what truly drives the Peacemaker’s calm exterior, and why the word “sure” doesn’t always mean agreement. Together, they explore how Nines communicate, how to draw out their hidden opinions, and the lifel...

Double-booked calendars, fast-talking optimism, and more ideas than minutes in the day…welcome to the world of the Enneagram 7! In this (slightly turbo) episode of Beyond Your Number, Damon and Kelly explore how Type 7s approach communication, why they’re magnets for new experiencesand how to keep up without getting lost in the whirlwind. Why “yes” is a 7’s favorite wordThe line between healthy optimism and escaping reality How to invite a 7’s input and why it matters Practical ways...

What’s it like to talk with a Type 8? Passionate. Direct. Powerful. And sometimes, intense. In this episode, Kelly shares from her own experience as a Type 8—what works, what doesn't, and what eights most need from you in communication. Damon helps us see how that energy can feel to others, especially when it gets misunderstood. Whether you're an Eight, love one, or work with one, this conversation unpacks the heart behind the boldness and the vulnerability behind the strength. Episode Highli...