Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

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Shelby Milford

166 episodes

2 days ago

A parental alienation recovery podcast. Feeling unseen or broken by the pain of being separated from your child? This show supports alienated parents in rebuilding emotional strength, healing trauma, and restoring purpose after complex and ongoing trauma. Hosted by a mom & master certified life coach, specializing in post‑traumatic growth and attachment repair. Rediscover closeness with your child even during the grief of living apart.

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All content for Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation is the property of Shelby Milford and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.

Self-Improvement

Education

Episodes (20/166)

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

Alienated Parents, Feel Burned Out? Don't Quietly Quit. Do This for the Win

Are you an alienated parent feeling exhausted, invisible, or ready to give up? This week on Beyond The High Road, discover why “quiet quitting” isn’t the end of your story—but could be the beginning of your healing. Join Shelby Milford as she reveals how to break free from burn out, reclaim your energy, and find hope—even when reconnection feels impossible. Tune in and learn how purposeful prioritizing can help you move beyond survival mode and start living for you again.

In this episode, Shelby explores the concept of "quiet quitting"—not in the workplace sense, but as it applies to parents who feel compelled to step back from relentless efforts to reconnect with their children. Shelby offers a compassionate, actionable framework for moving beyond survival mode, emphasizing self-respect, purposeful prioritizing, and sustainable healing. Listeners will learn how to recognize the signs of burnout, shift from all-or-nothing thinking, and reclaim agency in their lives, all while maintaining hope for future reconnection.

Main Talking Points

Understanding burnout in alienated parents and why it happens
The concept of "quiet quitting" and how it manifests in family dynamics
The difference between quitting from pain vs. purposeful prioritizing
The dangers of all-or-nothing thinking and emotional exhaustion
Shifting to self-respect, compassion, and intentional boundaries
Practical steps for purposeful prioritizing and self-advocacy
How to model resilience and self-care for your children, even from afar

Notable Quotes

"The real win isn't about doing more or less. It's about purposeful prioritizing, getting clear on what truly nourishes your wellbeing and reclaiming your energy with intention."
"Relentless effort starts to backfire when the cost is your own spirit."
"Quiet quitting doesn't have to be about giving up. It can be an act of self-kindness, but stepping back from strategies and pursuits that bring only pain or burnout."
"Purposefully prioritizing is reclaiming your power to choose where you want to invest your energy."
"Doing things consistently on an energy output that is sustainable for you is everything."

Key Takeaways

Burnout is common among alienated parents and often leads to emotional exhaustion and feelings of helplessness.
"Quiet quitting" in parenting can be a sign of burnout, but stepping back with intention can be an act of self-care, not defeat.
All-or-nothing thinking and acting from pain or resentment can deepen the sense of loss and isolation.
Purposeful prioritizing means setting healthy boundaries, focusing on what you can control, and honoring your own needs.
Modeling self-respect and resilience benefits both you and your child, even if you are not currently in contact.
Sustainable, consistent actions—rather than desperate, exhaustive efforts—lead to long-term healing and empowerment.

Timestamps

0:00 – Introduction and episode overview
1:40 – Burnout: Why it happens and how it feels
4:20 – The concept of "quiet quitting" for alienated parents
6:00 – Quitting from pain: Signs and emotional impact
12:00 – Shifting to self-respect and compassion
16:00 – Purposeful prioritizing: What it means and how to do it
19:00 – Practical steps for self-advocacy and healing
24:00 – Modeling resilience and self-care for your children

28:00 – Conclusion and final thoughts

5 days ago

43 minutes 6 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

Alienated Parents: Feel Pressure to Get It Right? Break Free from Performance Anxiety

Are you an alienated parent who feels like you’re always under a microscope—at court, during exchanges, or even just sending a birthday card? This episode dives deep into the hidden world of performance anxiety, why it’s so common for alienated parents, and how you can break free from the pressure to “get it right.”

Host Shelby Milford, a grief coach and alienated mom, explores the roots and realities of performance anxiety for alienated parents. Through personal stories, practical tools, and compassionate advice, Shelby helps listeners understand why the pressure to perform is so intense—and how to start easing it, one step at a time.

Topics Covered:

What performance anxiety looks like for alienated parents
Real-life scenarios: court, supervised visits, school events, and more
The emotional and cognitive roots of performance anxiety
Common thinking traps: catastrophic thinking, personalization, mind reading, and more
Practical tools to break the anxiety cycle
Building a new, compassionate internal narrative
Small, actionable steps to reclaim confidence and connection

Key Takeaways:

Performance anxiety is a natural response to the unique pressures of alienation.
Catastrophic thinking and self-blame are common but can be challenged.
Small, repeated actions and reality-testing negative predictions help build confidence.
Mindfulness, support, and self-compassion are essential tools for healing.
Progress is about showing up, not perfection.

Notable Quotes:

“If you’ve ever found yourself overthinking every word, replaying each moment, or feel like you’re auditioning for the role of the perfect parent—as if there was one—you are definitely not alone.”
“Performance anxiety would kind of come with the territory of alienation. So anytime that you go into a court appearance, supervised visitation, it is about you, right?”
“The more that we think our role is being threatened, the more we try to make those moments count.”
“Catastrophic thinking reinforces and brings us right back to that state of emergency that we don’t like.”
“You showed up and you did one thing differently. Keep noticing and celebrating those baby wins.”

Timestamps:

0:00 – Introduction & episode overview
0:46 – Listener request and why performance anxiety matters
1:17 – What performance anxiety looks like for alienated parents
3:48 – Court appearances and the pressure to perform
8:13 – Supervised visits and overthinking every gesture
11:11 – Making moments count and the fear of not measuring up
16:35 – Emotional and cognitive roots of performance anxiety
29:23 – Catastrophic thinking and other cognitive traps
38:34 – Tools and strategies to break the cycle
50:54 – Building new habits and celebrating small wins
1:00:22 – Final encouragement and closing

1 week ago

1 hour 2 minutes 57 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

Goodbye Chaos: How to Restore Peace to Your Body for Alienated Parents

Alienated Parents: are you stuck in a cycle of chaos and emotional overwhelm? Discover how to break free, regulate your nervous system, and reclaim your peace—even in the face of ongoing alienation.

In this powerful conclusion to a three-part series, Shelby Milford dives deep into the embodiment and integration of nervous system regulation for alienated parents. Learn practical tools to move from chronic stress and emotional reactivity to calm, resilience, and self-advocacy. Shelby shares personal stories, science-backed strategies, and actionable exercises to help you complete the stress cycle and create lasting change.

Main Areas of Focus:

The difference between regulation and suppression of emotions
Understanding chronic stress and its impact on the nervous system
Early signs of fight, flight, and freeze responses
Immediate somatic tools for in-the-moment triggers
Long-term strategies for nervous system regulation and emotional resilience
The importance of routines, sleep, nutrition, and self-reflection
Integration practices and probing self-assessment questions

Notable Quotes:

“People have the power to mess up your life, but you are the only one who has the power to fix it.”
“Calming is a temporary fix. Completion is letting the body exit the fight, flight, freeze response through sensory movement and emotional release.”
“You can regulate and provide whatever emotion you need. That’s what we’re always going after in the end—peace, safety, calm, certainty, belonging.”
“Success is measured by how you show up, not by the result. You can’t always control the outcome, but you can control how you show up.”

Key Takeaways:

Chronic stress from alienation can keep your nervous system in a state of constant activation, leading to exhaustion and health issues.
Regulation means acknowledging and processing emotions, not avoiding or suppressing them.
Early awareness of your body’s stress signals allows you to interrupt automatic trauma responses.
Simple grounding and breathing exercises can quickly return you to a state of safety.
Long-term healing requires routines, self-care, and intentional reflection.
You have the power to create your own sense of safety and peace, regardless of external circumstances.
Integration is a practice—lasting change comes from consistent, daily application of these tools.

2 weeks ago

1 hour 8 minutes 12 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

Break the Drama Cycle: How to Rewire Your Brain for Peace for Alienated Parents

Ever wonder why chaos and drama seem to follow you, even when all you want is peace? In this episode, Shelby unpacks the hidden patterns behind drama addiction and offers practical steps to help you break free and reclaim calm in your life.

In episode 159 of Beyond The High Road, Shelby continues her deep dive into the cycle of chaos and drama, especially as it relates to alienated parents and anyone who finds themselves repeatedly drawn into high-intensity situations. Building on last week’s exploration of why drama becomes familiar, this episode focuses on how to recognize, assess, and begin to heal these patterns. Shelby shares personal stories, self-assessment questions, and actionable strategies for mind management, all designed to help you shift your set point from chaos to peace. You’ll learn how your nervous system gets wired for drama, why calm can feel uncomfortable, and how to start untangling the stories that keep you stuck. The episode wraps with encouragement and a preview of next week’s somatic tools for deeper healing.

Main Areas of Focus:

Understanding the roots of drama addiction and how it becomes a “set point” in your nervous system
Self-assessment: recognizing your own patterns, triggers, and behaviors
The long-term impact of drama addiction on health and well-being
Five steps to untangle mind drama and manage your “threat brain”
Practical journaling and awareness exercises to break the cycle
Cultivating self-compassion and letting go of shame or blame

Notable Quotes

“Your body’s desire to attract drama isn’t a character flaw—it’s an adaptation for survival.”
“Awareness in the moment will help you to form a new memory to attach to the old pattern.”
“Drama will follow you until you identify each of the thoughts or beliefs that your body is accustomed to repeating.”
“Letting go is not a failure. It’s an act of self-compassion.”

Key Takeaways

Drama addiction often stems from early life experiences or extended periods of chaos, wiring your nervous system to seek intensity.
Self-awareness is the first step: notice when you’re uncomfortable with calm or repeatedly find yourself in drama.
Mind management and cognitive tools can help you break the cycle, but it requires honest self-assessment and practice.
Cultivating self-compassion is essential—these patterns are adaptations, not personal failings.

Next week’s episode will provide actionable somatic exercises to help you find and sustain peace.

00:00 Introduction to Beyond The High Road Podcast

00:30 Understanding Drama Addiction

07:01 Personal Reflections and Experiences

13:33 Signs and Symptoms of Drama Addiction

26:10 Self-Assessment and Awareness

31:03 Identifying Drama-Inducing Habits

31:39 Exploring Relaxation and Creativity

33:49 Understanding Drama's Impact on Health

35:50 The Power of Thought Awareness

37:05 Training the Mind to Notice Patterns

41:00 The Role of Emotions in Drama Addiction

46:34 Practical Steps to Manage Drama

53:45 Understanding the Threat Brain

59:23 Conclusion and Next Steps

3 weeks ago

1 hour 40 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

Attachment Drama: Why Chaos Can Feel Like Home For Alienated Parents

Are you an alienated parent who feels like chaos and drama just keep finding you—no matter how much you crave peace? Discover why this pattern might feel so familiar, and how understanding your own story is the first step toward breaking the cycle.

Main Areas of Focus:

The addictive nature of drama and chaos for alienated parents
How childhood experiences and attachment styles shape adult relationship patterns
The psychological and physiological roots of seeking emotional intensity
Common behaviors and personas that perpetuate drama
Real-life examples of how drama manifests in daily life and relationships
The importance of self-awareness and responsibility in breaking the cycle
A preview that solutions and somatic exercises will be covered in the next episode

Notable Quotes:

“Despite hating the distress, our brains can become wired to seek the intensity of strong emotional states, especially if those states are familiar from prolonged exposure to chaos or adversity in a past.”
“Crisis became your baseline. So your central nervous system registers peace as unfamiliar, and therefore peace itself feels like chaos for you.”
“If you are one that has noticed that you’re in this cycle of choosing the ‘wrong’ people always… it could be because you’re associating, on a nervous system level, love with chaos.”
“Trauma doesn’t just create your reality, it also distorts it. The nervous system may constantly scan for danger, drama, or chaos as a protective mechanism.”
“Drama may briefly feel like it solves loneliness or hopelessness. However, it brings temporary relief, followed by regret, shame, and deeper isolation, thus perpetuating the cycle.”

Key Takeaways for Alienated Parents:

Drama and chaos can feel “normal” if you grew up in turbulent or emotionally neglectful environments; your nervous system may crave intensity, even if you consciously want peace.
Patterns of seeking or creating drama are often unconscious and rooted in early experiences—not a personal failing.
Common signs of drama addiction include feeling uncomfortable with calm, repeatedly sharing stories for validation, and turning minor issues into major crises.
Recognizing your own patterns—without blame—is the first step to change. Taking responsibility for your reactions, rather than focusing on others’ actions, empowers you to break the cycle.
The episode sets the stage for practical solutions and exercises, which will be shared in the next installment.

Next Episode Preview:Stay tuned for actionable solutions and somatic exercises to help you move from drama-creating tendencies to a life of peace—and actually enjoy it.

00:00 Introduction to Beyond The High Road Podcast

00:32 Episode Structure and Content Overview

01:29 Deep Dive into Drama and Chaos

07:21 Understanding Drama Addiction

11:29 Childhood Influences on Drama Addiction

24:37 Examples and Real-Life Scenarios

35:08 Recognizing Drama Addiction

37:27 Drama Patterns in Relationships

41:25 Attachment Styles and Drama

49:39 Drama In Parental Alienation and Relationships

54:32 Breaking the Drama Cycle

01:01:11 Conclusion and Next Steps

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1 month ago

1 hour 2 minutes 49 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

Fear as Your Secret Sauce? Transform Terror into Clarity for Alienated Parents
Are you an alienated parent searching for certainty and a path forward? This transformative video offers practical strategies, heartfelt encouragement, and expert insights to help you reclaim your life, rediscover your purpose, and begin the healing journey—no matter how long you’ve been apart from your child.

KEY POINTS
Understanding the emotional impact of parental alienation and why your feelings are valid.
Steps to rebuild your self-worth and identity beyond the alienation experience.
Practical self-care techniques to manage grief, anger, and anxiety.
How to set healthy boundaries and protect your mental health.
The importance of community: finding support and breaking the isolation.
Reframing your story—moving from victimhood to empowerment.
Tools for maintaining hope and preparing for possible future reconciliation.

NOTABLE QUOTES

When you avoid grief, you don't process it, you preserve it
When you avoid fear, you don't overcome it, you feed it.

This video is a must-watch resource for alienated parents seeking healing and empowerment after experiencing parental alienation. Discover actionable steps to rebuild your life, manage emotional pain, and find support within a community that understands your journey. With expert advice and compassionate guidance, you’ll learn how to move forward, set healthy boundaries, and nurture hope for the future. Whether you’re newly alienated or have been struggling for years, these insights will help you reclaim your identity and start the process of recovery. Keywords: alienated parents, healing, parental alienation recovery, rebuilding life after alienation, support for alienated parents.

00:00 Introduction and Listener Review
03:55 Understanding Fear-Based Emotions
06:11 The Trap of Emotional Avoidance
13:45 The Neuroscience Behind Avoidance
15:53 The Social Cost of Avoidance
27:39 What Avoidance Steals From You
30:11 The Cost of Avoidance
31:27 Embracing Fear
32:04 Reclaiming Emotional Freedom
36:39 Understanding Fear's Role
38:42 Transforming Fear into Clarity
45:49 The Neutrality of Emotions
47:37 Practical Steps to Work with Fear
52:55 Reframing Fear-Based Emotions
53:32 Conclusion: Fear as a Values Compass
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1 month ago
55 minutes 55 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

How Being Right Actually Keeps You In The Wrong: What Now? for Alienated Parents
In episode 156, Shelby dives into the topic of comparative righteousness and explores how alienated parents can move past rigid right-wrong thinking. She categorizes four types of mindsets parents like us might fall into: the over analyzer, the justice seeker, the rigid role model, and the personal martyr. Shelby discusses the cognitive biases involved in these mindsets, such as all-or-nothing thinking, confirmation bias, naive realism, group bias, and the implications these have on our mental and emotional well-being. Emphasizing the importance of curiosity, compassion, and understanding, Shelby provides practical prompts and gentler phrasing alternatives for interactions with co-parents and children. She also delves into the roots of right-wrong thinking from both a neuroscientific and psychological perspective, encouraging listeners to adopt a more balanced and introspective approach in dealing with their experiences of parental alienation.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:29 Listener Review and Reflections
03:39 Black and White Thinking in Alienation
05:15 Understanding Moral Outrage
12:20 Comparative Righteousness and Cognitive Biases
14:53 The Over Analyzer Parent
21:41 The Justice Seeker Parent
30:20 The Rigid Role Model Parent
36:35 The Personal Martyr Parent
44:33 Roots of Right vs. Wrong Mindset
45:43 Understanding the Cycle of Anger and Shame
49:49 The Ego's Role in Conflict
53:40 Client Case Study: Overcoming Victim Mentality
01:02:04 Shifting Perspectives: From Rigid Judgments to Compassion
01:12:41 Practical Communication Strategies
01:21:39 Final Thoughts and Reflection Questions

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1 month ago
1 hour 27 minutes 9 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

Understanding Your Child's Symptoms: How to Manage Worry for Alienated Parents
Navigating the Emotional Turbulence of Parental Alienation: Episode 155
In this episode, host Shelby Milford dives deep into understanding the emotional and physical symptoms children may exhibit as a result of parental alienation. Shelby, drawing from her expertise as a twice-certified life coach specializing in post-traumatic growth, shares personal anecdotes and discusses attachment theory, emotional regulation, and practical tools for alienated parents. Listeners will learn how to create a supportive environment for their children, manage their own mental health, and effectively navigate the complexities of alienated parent-child relationships.
00:00 Introduction and Announcements
01:21 Today's Topic: Attachment Theory and Child's Health
02:13 Personal Health Update and Reflections
05:35 Listener Reviews and Feedback
08:41 Understanding Children's Symptoms and Guilt
10:38 Personal Stories of Seizures and Parenting Challenges
23:08 Attachment Theory and Emotional Responses
27:58 Understanding Attachment Theory
28:54 Child's Response to Alienating Parent
30:12 False Self and Emotional Suppression
32:27 Transition Periods and Emotional Release
34:20 Balancing Blame and Self-Care
44:18 Helping Your Child Regulate Emotions
48:09 Documenting and Self-Care Strategies
55:33 Concluding Thoughts and Encouragement
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1 month ago
59 minutes 33 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

How to Shift From Insecure Attachment to Secure for Alienated Parents
Understanding and Healing Attachment Styles

In this episode of The Beyond The High Road Podcast, host Shelby Milford discusses the importance of understanding and healing attachment styles for alienated parents. She explains the different attachment styles - secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized - and how these influence emotional reactions, coping mechanisms, and parent-child relationships, especially in the context of alienation. Shelby emphasizes the significance of developing self-awareness, practicing self-compassion, and seeking supportive relationships. The episode provides actionable steps toward fostering secure attachment and enhancing emotional regulation to improve parent-child interactions and overall well-being for alienated parents.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:34 Listener Engagement and Reviews
02:29 Introduction to Attachment Styles
03:08 Understanding Attachment Theory
07:30 Exploring Different Attachment Styles
11:43 Impact of Attachment Styles on Relationships
19:59 Personal Experiences with Attachment Styles
34:30 Attachment Styles and Parenting
38:32 Understanding Emotional Regulation
39:05 Collecting Data from Your Past
39:58 Shifting Towards Secure Attachment
40:24 Developing Self-Awareness
41:33 Practicing Self-Compassion
43:42 Engaging in Therapy or Coaching
48:38 Repairing Self-Beliefs
51:42 Building Emotional Regulation Skills
54:14 Seeking Corrective Relationships
01:03:35 Three Behaviors for Secure Attachment
01:12:45 Recap and Final Thoughts
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2 months ago
1 hour 17 minutes 18 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

Feeling Resistant to Unwanted Change? Here's How To Feel Empowered
Episode 153: Embracing Impermanence & Change
In this heartfelt episode, Shelby explores the concept of impermanence and the challenges of embracing change, particularly for parents experiencing alienation and ongoing trauma. Drawing from her own journey and client stories, Shelby discusses why we resist change, how that resistance can deepen our pain, and the transformative power of leaning into new realities.
Key Topics Covered:
Why we resist change, especially after trauma and loss
The emotional impact of clinging to the past and the illusion of control
Shelby’s personal story of selling her home and the lessons learned from resisting change
The cost—emotional, financial, and relational—of staying stuck in resistance
How embracing change can open doors to growth, healing, and new possibilities
The importance of developing a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset
Practical strategies for navigating change: breaking big transitions into small steps, focusing on what you can control, and celebrating small wins
Practicing self-compassion and challenging fixed beliefs
Notable Quotes:
“Safety and healing come from acceptance, adaptation, and learning—not from clinging to your past.”
“Your pain is not going to last forever. Change is inevitable, but so is growth.”
“The best revenge is success—make the change yours and flourish.”
Actionable Takeaways:
Break overwhelming changes into manageable steps.
Focus on areas you can control in your daily life.
Balance time spent grieving with time spent exploring new possibilities.
Practice self-compassion and celebrate small victories.
Challenge yourself to see how change might benefit you, even if it wasn’t your choice.
Connect with Shelby:
If you’re struggling with the effects of alienation and want support in your healing journey, visit: https://www.beyondthehighroad.com/HealAfterParentalAlienation
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2 months ago
51 minutes 36 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

Feel Misunderstood? Find Peace Even When They Block You
Navigating Misunderstandings & Being Denied a Voice
Episode 152 discussed the challenges of feeling misunderstood after parental alienation & offers strategies for coping. Shelby shares a personal story about her daughter turning 18 and the subsequent communication struggles they faced. She emphasizes the importance of understanding one's emotions, practicing self-awareness, and not being reactive in emotionally charged situations. Shelby also touches upon the importance of self-compassion and respecting the emotional journey of your loved ones. With practical advice drawn from personal experience, this episode aims to provide encouragement and healing for parents dealing with alienation and the emotional challenges that accompany.

👉🏼Follow me on TikTok: / shelbymilford_pa_coach 👉🏼Follow me on Instagram: / beyondthehighroadcoaching 👉🏼Website: https://www.beyondthehighroad.com

00:00 Introduction and Welcome
01:00 Feeling Misunderstood: Personal Experience
01:53 Listener Reviews and Feedback
03:40 Upcoming Announcements
04:26 Navigating Communication with My Daughter
05:07 Reflecting on Past Interactions
07:53 The Emotional Impact of Reaching Out
22:16 Managing Emotional Responses
29:08 Facing Old Fears and Anxieties
30:38 Understanding the Source of Emotions
33:23 Navigating Parental Concerns
36:23 Crafting a Thoughtful Response
41:07 The Power of Perception
50:13 Choosing Your Emotional Response
54:51 Final Reflections and Moving Forward

#ParentalAlienationRecovery #FeelingMisunderstood #ParentChildRelationship #ForcedEstrangement
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2 months ago
59 minutes 10 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

Overcome Parental Alienation Like a Bauce... Best Of Vol 4
In episode 151 of The Beyond The High Road Podcast, Shelby Milford announces the release of volume four of the podcast's highlights & best clips. In the episode, She shares personal experiences, including her journey of healing and self-discovery following the forced estrangement from her daughter. The podcast addresses the importance of defining problems within one's control, embracing hard truths, rejecting self-sabotaging thoughts, and focusing on creating a fulfilling life despite the challenges of parental alienation. While the episode provides effective strategies for overcoming negative emotions & seeking personal growth; maintaining hope and resilience are discussed in-depth, with Shelby encouraging alienated parents to find purpose & cultivate joy in their lives.

00:00 Introduction and Podcast Review
01:21 Volume Four Release Announcement
02:46 Confronting Hard Truths
04:04 Defining the Real Problem
07:51 Personal Accountability and Healing
08:49 The Power of Thoughts and Beliefs
11:20 Navigating Alienation and Trauma
12:59 Taking Responsibility and Making a Plan
17:34 The Importance of Self-Validation
30:27 Understanding Approval: It's Not About You
31:26 Reframing Catastrophic Thinking
32:13 Identifying and Owning Your Emotions
34:03 The Illusion of Control and Vulnerability
37:22 Self-Betrayal and Parental Roles
37:57 The Tragic Reality of Parental Alienation
45:08 Breaking Free from Negative Narratives
57:20 Living Intentionally and Finding Purpose
58:46 No Guarantees and Moving Forward

#ParentalAlienationRecovery #PodcastforAlienatedParents #AlienatedMom
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2 months ago
1 hour 1 minute 37 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

Turn Your Pain Into Purpose: Best of... Volume 3
Turn Your Pain into Purpose: Healing after Parental Alienation
In the 150th episode of Beyond The High Road Podcast, host Shelby Milford, a certified life coach specializing in post-traumatic growth, presents a 'best of' compilation featuring motivational segments for listeners dealing with parental alienation. Shelby shares listener reviews and emphasizes the importance of engaging with the podcast community. She reflects on her personal journey through alienation, discussing the emotional complexities, the necessity of managing one's mindset, and finding resilience amid adversity. Shelby encourages listeners to redefine their identities beyond being victimized parents, embrace the contradictions in their feelings, and strive for personal growth and meaningful living despite the challenges. She underscores the importance of taking action, setting goals, and nurturing unconditional love for their children, even from a distance. Shelby concludes with a philosophical perspective on life, pain, and personal evolution.

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
01:18 Listener Reviews and Community Engagement
03:37 Personal Reflections and Challenges
06:22 Managing Emotions and Mindset
10:13 Resilience and Personal Growth
14:32 Taking Responsibility and Moving Forward
18:32 Defining Yourself Beyond Alienation
28:53 Setting Goals and Finding Purpose
31:39 Facing Uncomfortable Truths
32:58 The Unconditional Love of a Parent
34:22 Navigating Teenage Years and Parental Love
35:17 The Power of Giving Love
35:53 Conditional Love and Parenting
37:35 Overcoming Feelings of Being Wronged
38:08 Embracing Struggle and Growth
39:13 The Journey of Self-Acceptance
39:55 Redefining Motherhood and Identity
44:33 The Illusion of Separation
46:59 Living Beyond Pain and Alienation
59:25 The Power of Belief and Identity
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2 months ago
1 hour 3 minutes 18 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

Need Your Child to Reciprocate Love? Longing vs. Limerence for Alienated Parents
Understanding Limerence in the Context of Parental Alienation

In episode 149 of The Beyond The High Road Podcast, host Shelby Milford delves into the concept of limerence within the context of parental alienation. Shelby explains limerence, describing it as an uncontrollable obsession often influenced by limited or non-reciprocal contact with an object of affection, in this case, one's child. Shelby outlines symptoms, causes, and the interplay of attachment styles, emphasizing the impact of ongoing trauma and loss experienced by alienated parents. She also discusses the parallels between limerence and addiction, noting that addressing underlying emotions and traumas is key to overcoming it. Listeners are encouraged to converse about their personal experiences and consider seeking coaching or counseling as needed.

00:00 Introduction and Announcements
02:47 Understanding Limerence in the Context of Alienation
05:29 Symptoms and Signs of Limerence
16:29 Attachment Styles and Limerence
21:20 The Impact of Limerence on Perception and Reality
24:56 Addressing Limerence and Moving Forward
26:13 Understanding Limerence and Its Effects on the Brain
27:11 Prerequisites and Susceptibility to Limerence
27:51 ADHD and Limerence: The Connection
28:36 Attachment Styles and Limerence
29:35 The Emotional Rollercoaster of Limerence
31:06 Recognizing and Addressing Limerence
33:04 The Impact of Limerence on Relationships
34:35 Breaking Free from Limerence
44:47 The Role of Grief in Overcoming Limerence
48:57 Final Thoughts and Seeking Help
#PARENTALALIENATIONRECOVERY #PODCASTFORALIENATEDPARENTS #ALIENATEDMOM #ALIENATEDFATHER #LIMERENCE #LONGING
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3 months ago
52 minutes 6 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

6 Confronting Truths I Wish I Learned Years Ago for Alienated Parents
Brutal Truths About Parental Alienation

In episode number 148 of the Beyond The High Road Podcast, Shelby Milford discusses six harsh truths about parental alienation that she wishes she had confronted earlier in her journey. Shelby shares her own experiences dealing with alienation and the insights she has gained over the years. She emphasizes the importance of redefining problems in ways that can be controlled, understanding that no one is coming to save you, avoiding the pitfalls of seeking external validation, and the importance of not letting alienation define your identity. Shelby also cautions against getting trapped in drama and highlights the necessity of accepting the uncertainty of future reconciliation with alienated children. This episode offers valuable advice for parents to find stability, meaning, and happiness despite the challenges of alienation.
00:00 Introduction and Episode Planning
01:10 Six Brutal Truths About Parental Alienation
04:31 Most Alienated Parents Are Stuck on the Wrong Problem
15:14 Nobody is Coming to Save You
19:29 Relentless Efforts on Seeking Justice
32:10 Drama is a Trap
38:02 No Guarantee for Future Reconciliation
40:44 Embracing Painful Truths for Growth45:13 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

#parentalalienation #podcastforalienatedparents #parentalalienationrecovery
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3 months ago
46 minutes 9 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

Have You Abandoned Your True Self? How to Reclaim The Best of You
Rediscovering and Integrating Your Authentic Self Post-AlienationIn episode 147 of The Beyond The High Road Podcast, hosted by Shelby Milford, the topic of self-abandonment among alienated parents is explored in depth. Explore & understand how alienated parents often separate from their past selves as a defense mechanism, leading to feelings of disconnect and existential crisis. Shelby proposes reintegrating cherished qualities and hobbies from the past to cope with and overcome the challenges of alienation. She emphasizes the need for balance, self-compassion, and small wins, offering practical advice and personal anecdotes to help listeners reconnect with their authentic selves and enhance their overall well-being.00:00 Introduction and Episode Setup00:11 Personal Health Update and Episode Motivation01:20 Listener Feedback and Encouragement03:57 Understanding Self-Abandonment06:39 Rediscovering Your Authentic Self10:53 Challenges of Severing Your Past Self17:19 Reconnecting with Your True Self25:06 Self-Sabotage and Loss of Traits25:51 Impact of Alienation on Emotions27:26 Disconnecting from the Old Self35:22 Reintegrating the Old and New Self38:10 Practical Steps for Reconnection47:26 Celebrating Small Wins and Consistency49:13 Final Thoughts on Reincorporating Good Qualities
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3 months ago
51 minutes 13 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

Surviving Turmoil w/ Self Compassion vs. Self Pity for Alienated Parents
Navigating Personal Loss and Understanding Self-Pity vs. Self-Compassion

In this episode of the Beyond The High Road Podcast, Shelby Milford opens up about the impact of dealing with a series of unfortunate events and the broader implications of experiences on our mental health. She transitions to explore the profound difference between self-pity and self-compassion as it relates to parental alienation. Drawing from her own experiences, she explains how self-pity can trap us in a cycle of hopelessness and isolation, whereas self-compassion provides a path toward healing and resilience. Through personal anecdotes and reflective insights, she encourages listeners to recognize and embrace their pain as part of the human experience, ultimately advocating for a shift from self-pity to self-compassion.

00:00 Introduction and Personal Update
00:26 Dealing with Pet Loss
03:45 Self-Pity vs. Self-Compassion
12:00 Choosing Self-Compassion
21:37 The Impact of Self-Pity
26:11 The Dangers of Repeating Trauma
28:27 Understanding Self-Pity
28:49 Embracing Self-Compassion
32:47 The Impact of Self-Pity on Mental Health
38:17 Moving from Self-Pity to Self-Compassion
43:48 The Value of Suffering and Connection
47:51 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
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3 months ago
48 minutes 50 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

Creative Solutions: Trust Your Instincts To Make It Happen for Alienated Parents
Becoming Your Own Fountain of Resources w/ Shelby MilfordCome listen to Shelby's personal and heartwarming story about rescuing an orphaned duckling, Buck, using it to illustrate valuable lessons on resilience, self-reliance, and overcoming obstacles following parental alienation. Shelby emphasizes the importance of trusting your instincts, especially when external help is not forthcoming, and relates this to the experiences of alienated parents. She discusses how friction and challenges are necessary for growth and call for adaptive, creative problem-solving. Shelby also touches on how external judgment and perceived lack of support can be distractions that hinder progress. By drawing from her recent experiences and reflections, Shelby offers practical advice on staying focused and resilient in the face of adversity.00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview00:30 Personal Updates and Recent Events02:39 Texas Flooding and Community Impact04:53 The Duckling Dilemma 07:23 Challenges in Finding Help11:43 Confrontation, Judgement, and Scrutiny 16:16 Realizations and Taking Action22:49 Success in Reuniting the Duck28:36 Lessons Learned and Final Thoughts37:39 Conclusion and Farewell

#ParentalAlienationRecovery #PodcastForAlienatedParents #AlienatedMom
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4 months ago
38 minutes 2 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

Are You Suppressing Your Grief? Here's How to Tell
In episode 144, Shelby discusses the emotional challenges faced by alienated parents, focusing on the tendencies to desensitize and emotionally withdraw from their parenting roles. She shares personal experiences and observations on how coping mechanisms like masking emotions, disengaging from the parental role, and withdrawing socially can affect both the parent and the child. Shelby emphasizes the importance of resilience, processing emotions, and maintaining a connection with one's children to foster healing and potentially restore relationships in the future. Practical advice and insights on self-awareness, adaptive coping strategies, and the impact of emotional numbing are provided to help parents navigate their struggles.
00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:14 Understanding Emotional Desensitization
01:25 Personal Experiences with Desensitization
02:18 Common Coping Mechanisms
07:24 Recognizing Desensitization in Yourself
19:21 Differentiating Resilience from Desensitization
22:20 Coping Strategies and Their Impact
25:58 The Cycle of Numbing and Groundhog Day
26:20 Empathy and Connection in Resilience
27:30 Impact of Desensitization on Relationships
28:44 Maintaining Meaningful Relationships
29:54 Self-Awareness and Emotional Processing
31:49 The Role of Goals in Resilience
33:23 Welcoming All Emotions
36:30 Effects of Desensitizing on Parent-Child Relationships
41:40 Avoidance and Its Consequences
44:21 Personal Reflections and Final Thoughts
48:00 4th of July and Fireworks

#parentalalienationrecovery #podcastforalienatedparents
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4 months ago
53 minutes 12 seconds

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation

The 3 Minute Life Hack To Move Alienated Parents Out of Negativity
Turning Negativity into Empowerment: Strategies for Alienated ParentsIn episode 143 of the Beyond The High Road Podcast, Shelby Milford shares a heartfelt and insightful discussion about dealing with negativity, particularly meant for alienated parents. Shelby begins by sharing a personal story about finding a duckling and the challenges of unexpected situations. She then delves into the pervasive negativity that alienated parents often face, discussing how it stems from survival mode and past traumas. Shelby offers practical exercises to shift from a negative to a positive mindset, including evaluating daily events objectively and rewriting personal narratives. Through these methods, she aims to help parents break free from the cycle of negativity, enabling them to lead more joyful and productive lives.00:00 Introduction and Episode Teaser00:09 Unexpected Duckling Encounter02:33 Dealing with Negativity06:24 Client's Story and Negativity Bias13:26 Changing Your Narrative16:41 Story Writing Exercise19:44 Personal Example of Overcoming Negativity21:57 Aggressive Confrontation and Arrest23:46 Reflecting on the Incident26:48 Reprogramming Your Mindset27:41 Daily Reflection Exercise29:11 Challenging Negative Thoughts31:54 Adopting Positive Perspectives37:41 Breaking Free from Victimhood41:34 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

#ParentalAlienationRecovery #PodcastForAlienatedParents
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4 months ago
43 minutes 11 seconds