In this episode, I share some big news. For more information on Gift of Life and to join the registry, please visit https://www.giftoflife.org/swab

In this episode, I open by talking about the big decision to “pull the goalie,” as we called benching our pregnancy defensive line (my birth control pills). It was a momentous moment! And then… the score remained 0-0 for a long, long time. In fact, it still is. A global pandemic, a foster pup, a couple of job changes, and more… all of that was going on while I undertook both big steps and baby steps (see what I did there?) towards pregnancy and parenthood… As I got to know my body and navigat...

“I definitely miss the old me a lot … the freedom, the ability to just go… [but] I’ve gained so much [by being a dad] - perspective is number one … I have gained an excitement for the future that I didn’t have before.” Matthew has come a long way from a childhood in the Denver suburbs to (literally) freewheeling around Canada to touring the American South with a rowdy group of musicians to—now—being the primary caregiver to an 18-month old son in [where he lives]. And somewhere in there was… ...

“So I was really accepting of the idea of not having kids, and I was settled and happy with that. And when he was the one who brought [the idea of starting to try] up, I was like: “Ooh, it’s my in.” And that’s how I knew… It was like, ooh, Look at your reaction; you do want this.” - Ellie Bernstein Ellie didn’t realize she was cockblocking her own feelings about having kids. Yes, you heard that correctly. I said cockblocking. Let me elaborate: A decade into a satisfying marriage to a pa...

In this episode, my husband Joe and I do a visualization exercise going through the decades of our lives, imagining what it would be like in each decade to have children any to not have children. When my friend and previous podcast interviewee, Evan, did this exercise with his wife, he had a clear answer at the end of it: life with kids is the way forward for him. Joey and I had a different experience. And, this conversation was only the starting point.

"This goes back to a weird ass dream I had in college where I was like, some people are afraid of death, or some people are afraid of flying or public speaking. I had this dream where it's like, none of that scared me. What scared me was failing as a dad." Evan always assumed he'd be a father, but despite his success in other areas of life (like a strong marriage and solid career), he was also deeply afraid of failing in this crucial role. Evan talks about fears that many of us can re...

In this episode, I share a series of moments throughout my life that stand out as pivotal moments in my ambivalence: The shocking thing I learned at 6 and my executive decision at that early age.My role model for becoming a mother late in life.My twenties and the time of avoiding pregnancy like the plague.My 29th birthday and the expiration date I stickered on myself.How a conversation with a stranger on a hike opened my eyes to the idea I didn’t HAVE to be a parent to lead a fulfilling...

“It’s hard to quantify a feeling you haven’t experienced yet. So much of deciding to have kids is deciding to let go and have faith you will love these little humans and it’s going to be worth all of the sacrifice and effort.” - Alissa Alissa was ambivalent about children, until she started trying to have one and the process didn’t work out as expected. Then she got competitive. Alissa talks about how acknowledging she did, in fact, want children meant she was admitting something was missing ...

In this co-interview with my good friend, Caitlin Nisos, Caitlin talks about her big aspirations, how social change and impacting the world has been at the top of her to-do list, how she sees herself as a spiritual mom or community mom. But now, at almost 40, she’s looking at whether she wants to experience the incredible life experience that people with uteruses can have - carry and birth a child. We talk about her ambivalence around motherhood, the voices that made her question her motherin...

In our very binary society, we've got the women who have always wanted to be mothers and the women who have made the decision not to be. We don't talk a lot about the ambivalent, questioning, on-the-fence women. I am one of those women. And I'm 38 (almost 39) and I have been on a 3-year journey moving towards motherhood. This episode kicks off a whole season of my very personal story: how my identity is changing as I pursue this thing (motherhood) I'm still figuring out. It sets the stage fo...

"Sometimes my thoughts would get so loud, I would hear them echo in my apartment… It’s how I discovered how mean I had been to myself for a long time and how I was using that self talk to keep me going in the corporate setting… but then I realized this will not serve you any more.” Christina left everything behind - her family, her uber successful corporate job, the man she thought she might marry - to spend two years in Japan. There, the voices that had kept her focused in the high-paced co...

“Things are happening in my subconscious that take time to digest and integrate before they’ve landed and settled and become part of me and my experience of life.” In this conversation with the one and only Ryan Alan Jones, we discuss the eye opening journey of drugs. This journey has led him to a new understanding of God, society, and his true, higher self. Instagram: @mr.ladysmith Website: https://www.raj.coach/ Mentioned Reads: The Old Testament Other Fun Mentions: Gabrielle...

“You start planting good seeds, good flowers, good plants and removing the ones that are useless…then you just keep nurturing them.” Tarik El Assal left his life in Morocco behind to move to Canada two days before the pandemic hit. The self awareness practices he has developed through yoga, Islam, and voracious consumption of personal growth books have helped him stay resilient, positive, and growthful during this strange and difficult year. Instagram and YouTube: @holistictarik LinkedIn: ta...

“No matter how small I was, no matter how difficult life may be, you always have the opportunity to impact others.” Blake Hudson is no stranger to speaking his truth with others. In this episode, I get the chance to speak with Blake about his journey with public speaking, politics, consistency, and everyday self reminders that shape his mindset. Instagram and Twitter: @onebrightblake LinkedIn: Blake Hudson Mentioned Reads: “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks

Natalie Nixon: “I was about access to a different environment and to really be channeled to blow up the system.” Natalie and I dive into a conversation about the moment she found direction in her “loopy” world, why creativity dies as we get older, and how intuition plays a role in business. Instagram and Twitter: @natwnixon Free Sample chapter of The Creativity Leap: bit.ly/tclfree The WonderRigor™️ Tip Sheet: bit.ly/wrtipsheet Website: https://www.figure8thinking.com/about/ Ment...

"I was curious. What else is there to life rather than this dry existence I was just grinding?" In this conversation with my friend Sammi, we discuss her inspiring decision to evaluate her life and make a major change. This change was sobriety. Over the last three years, this journey has led her to more nourishment, presence, feelings, and living. Instagram: sammibarkz Facebook: Sammi Barks Conversations with Sammi: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/conversations-with-sammi/id...

“My compass at that point was so oriented toward what I thought I was supposed to be doing and so disconnected from what I wanted to be doing. Now, the pieces I feel disconnected from are getting smaller and the pieces I feel engaged by and lit up by are growing and growing and growing!” Drew Davis is a Harvard undergrad, Booth MBA, wicked smart restaurateur, chef, storyteller, triathlete, spoken-word artist, and dad. We talk about his big huh moment, how to stop following society's sho...

"Getting pregnant and having a baby and carrying a baby to term wasn't something that I could just try a little harder and get it under control." Ashley Chi is a mother, wife, and lawyer who opens up about how her experiences preparing for the LSATS couldn't prepare her for the trials of pregnancy. In this episode, Ashley takes us on her journey in which she realizes that not everything in life can be controlled.

"When you're alone and don't have any action going on around you, you don't have anything to do. You just focus on yourself. That was the moment I dreaded the most because that was the moment that I had to battle my demons." Aya Alsaqaf is a 19-year-old computer science student in Kuwait with the wisdom of a 90-year-old monk. She opens up about the taboos about mental health in the Middle East, how she has battled these taboos, the pressures of student life, and the strategies she uses...

“My biggest obstacle is me.” Sonja Dakic is a Serbian entrepreneur who started the first cloth diaper company in the region with zero business experience but a need she felt she had to solve after the birth of her first child and the mountains of waste she was creating. Over the course of her journey as a founder, she learned she was the biggest thing holding her back. We discuss this journey, her Ted Talk, and how she redefined success for herself post burnout. TedTalk: https://ww...