This is it. The REAL last episode. Nate’s got a new toy and punishes Tyler with it. The takes are hot. The discourse is here. No animal facts. We listen to your messages. Look, I’m not gonna belabor this any further. This is the end. Everything everywhere ends.
160+ hours. 47 guests. But it started with two dudes exploring old stories and their friendship. Genuinely and for real: thank you for listening, even the losers and the haters.
This is it. It all ends here. But what is an ending if not a beginning everlasting? Semisonic closing time.
Time to meet god. Toobin! Featuring @EmilyBard20
THE GREAT RED DRAGON IS HERE
Never take drugs.
Stop whatever you’re doing and watch RRR. Are you a Ram or a Bheem? Joining the Morphy Boys to talk about book 53 is Amanda (@GalacticUmami). All you ghost writers can kick rocks, because our main B in apartment 23 Kathy Apples is back in charge. Amanda gets in there hot with some wrestling facts. We assign some homework. Lots of homework. Tyler busts out a new impression. Nate has a libertarian checklist. People enjoy whatever you want, who cares? Visser 3 definitely has a macgruber book.
What we want you to watch:
Jon (@vernacularshift) joins the Morphy boys to discuss the necessary evil of book 52. Nate does not welcome Jon. Nate hates bearded men. Do you know rabbits scream? Scott Baculum. We also talk about what being a soldier does to your soul. To lighten it up, Tyler introduces a new game that’s taking the nation by storm!
Marco, Tobias and Ax form the finesses crew as they go forth to kidnap a governor! Nate thinks that bats are just leathery birds, Tyler attempts a moment of silence for our dear sweet dead dog (RIP Nepal). Lil regals us with stories of unemployment, being bombed, and Duck Facts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We also explore the Dave Matthews Band Chicago River incident and the non-existent PlayStation game Tank Commando here on Animorphing Time.
Follow Lil @Broad__Abroad
Travis (@WlkngCntradctn) and Sasha return to talk about the Cassie book where she recruits disabled kids. I’m not gonna get longwinded about this but we tie morbius to this book.
What kind of cop would you be? Is a pun a pun or is it wordplay? Yehuda (@M2Yehuda) comes in hot at being smarter than everyone (but especially Nate). Do you like Big Macs? We do. It causes some controversy. Nate hates McDonald’s fries. We’re getting literature professor serious with it. No one likes Tyler’s idea about Rachel being a surrogate mother. Do you dig the Scoop Crew? If you pick something up at the store and set it down somewhere else, you’re a BAD PERSON. Nate shows intelligent disobedience while inventing a new slur. Police dogs are included when we say “All Cops are Yeerks.”
Joining the Morphy Boys to talk about god knows what is Lilac (@anxiousounce). Rachel is a Freddy Krueger in this one! It’s nightmare on nightmares on White House’s on nightmare! What do you do when you have a nightmare? Nate likes nightmares. It’s David vs Rachel, y’all. With Crayak too. Tyler is too old to watch children movies. We all share nightmares. This is tough. This was just a good book. More Tyler trauma. Etc
Who’s ready to talk about race? Lauren (@laurenfraz) joins the Morphy Boys to talk about the most problematic and insensitive Animorphs book. Tyler got it ALL out. It’s all out. Lauren teaches us about Water Ice. Nate posits that The Sunken Place is the most alluring part of Get Out. Hot Thomas Kincaid takes in this one. This book is icky. Racially. It’s a shame too because this book starts with a strong voice from Jake, and we finally give that Jake some kudos. Lauren needs to see The Crow. Lauren doesn’t need to watch Glory. This book is basically Glory. Lauren is Lincoln’s Wildest Dream. Voyeuristic language about slave whipping? Ewwww. This is a horribly racist book and we try to tackle that. Either way, go out there and play Lauren’s VR MMO Zenith.
Bare witness to us, the Morphy Boys, trying Oreos and nacho cheese live on air. Witnessing the horrors is one Felix (@felixforrester) and he is shown horrors beyond human comprehension. But really, Oreos and nacho cheese is quite delicious, if the nacho cheese is warm enough. Tyler shows his ignorance with Deep Space 9. What is Visser 2 all about anyways? Tyler is a Colonels Bequest defender. National guards only love winning fights, Joe rogan, and winning fights against Joe rogan. What makes a good troop? Remember, war is only bad when it happens to American troops. The book falls apart and becomes war propaganda trash. Oh well.
The Morphy Boys try fan made beer for the podcast. Jen Beaupre (@invisiblecake) joins them for some numetal madness. This episode is sick and twisted. We have ghostwriter facts. Sammy Sosa facts? Bring back Dance Dance Revolution, you cowards. What was your DDR song? Sometimes you need a lost spouse expert. Marco goes emotion mode. Would you save your dad? We wouldn’t. Our dads suuuuuck. Did anyone really need Dan Carlin facts? RIP Marco.
Check out Jen’s work here: https://www.jenbeaupre.com/
From the heart of Criminal Island, Sezza (@the_sezza) joins the Morphy Boys to hop a roo “down under.” That’s right, we’re going to Australia. Crack open the Fosters and throw some shrimp on the Barbie. Please don’t just stop drinking. You will die. This book is like a little bit of Vegemite on your toast. Don’t let grandmas touch you. Sezza teaches us slang for fart. The Map of Tazzie. You really don’t have to watch Crocodile Dundee. We all lament that the book doesn’t get to Australia soon enough. We talk about how insensitive the book handles aboriginal folks. The book sucks but the episode is delightfully deranged. Sezza says he’s a bad Australian because he doesn’t do anything inherently Australian and then tells a story about almost driving into a kangaroo.
Twitters Wettest Boy Space Goat (@TheSpaceGoat2) joins the Morphy Boys to talk Tobias, being a child, having Covid, and parents divorce. Space Goat comes in hot with plagiarized model facts. We do a cute little bird hop into a dark torture book. Every Tobias book is a torture book. Tyler is going to be a good father to wee lad Space Goat and it’s important to always fix your kids. Tyler pozzed Nate’s neghole. Space Goat doesn’t know who pozzed his neghole. Taylor wants Tobias to check out her website. Nate ate Berber. Never let your name become a verb. We need healthy brains to help us.
Joining the Morphy Boys and munching on Jake’s favorite snack is Will (@mantross1)! Rachel has big Abe Vigoda energy on the cover. Tyler tells a story about how a patient gave him lice. Nate could solve that. Helmacrons solved the gender war. Which ninja turtle is which animorph? We talk about our Lost Episode. Honestly, I listened to this a few days ago and forgot to write out my copy then. I was deep in the middle of “having Covid for a second time.” This one made me laugh. Will is a sweetie pie. Oh yeah! Will ends the podcast by describing the way he “honored Nate.”
Anna (@crabandfrog) joins the Benedetta Boys for Verhoeven Chat!!! Jake is having a bad day. The violence is visceral. The future is frumpy. Perhaps a Matrix is afoot! Jake is at capacity and Anna hates to agree with that smooth brain. Time for another Tyler Trauma Session wooo *air horn.* Y’all ever lie to authority figures to make friends? We all love the futuristic design of the weird Animorphs dystopia. Anna keeps telling the Morphy Boys how young she is compared to these grizzled, veiny and muscular men. Tyler has new bidet confusion. Anna memorized the deleted scenes from Galaxy Quest. Christmas should be terrifying. If you have a lot of problems, you should just go to work.
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Tyler makes a birthday wish. Today the Morphy Boys are joined by another Nate (@SplintersmithNC) to talk about Megamorphs 4. There are too many Nate’s in the episode so we call one Trash. The masculine urge to be a deals goblin. The boys try to wrap their minds around 90s liberal brain. Race talk in the 90s was Not Fresh. We get Tyler’s Parenting Corner. Junior high boys suck and they’re monster who don’t grow up. The Animorphs are all out of sorts. Do you talk to yourself when you’re alone? Nate teaches Tyler and Trash how weird the Boy Scouts were. Does KA Applegate smoke? Then Trash-Nate makes his stance on Oreos very clear. He reveals the ONLY way he likes Oreos and, shorms, it’s deranged.
Tyler is under attack from some flower hating fools. Joining Nate to have a bad flower takes is Sasha! Sasha and the Morphy Boys are here to talk about Animorphs 40, the bee book, The Other. Were you watching sitcoms and things? Chandler does so much cocaine. Marco sees an andalite on tv! Tyler almost loses his Power Rangers cred. Ax invented a TiVo with CD-ROMS. Then we start talking about disability. Call me The Cat because I’m Eeeeeking over here. Also why are horses measured in hands? This book bravely asks if andalites were gay? Tyler badly clings to a strained bit. Ax gets high on andalite choom. Bee facts get wild. Are you ready to meet you new andalite uncles who are bachelors and talk about disability? Just listen already.
Oh hell. Here it is. This is the most deranged episode we’ve ever done. Joining the Morphy Boys is @bobdisgea to talk about… book 39. The Buffalo book. Nate tries to cultivate racial powers. Fathers and no sons. Tyler shows off. The Joker. Sentience is a curse. Buffahuman says ACAB. Protect your herd.