Transcendence and self-forgetfulness are the answers to every problem that life presents us. Blame, self-pity, and anger only deepen our suffering. How often do we think, “This isn’t fair. Why do I need to suffer like this?” But if we ask, as Uma did, “What can I do to help?” then we break the hold that darkness and suffering have on us.

But I believe the real power of the one-minute solution lies in applying it to our inner lives.

If we tie our joy to a particular event or experience, when that ends we inevitably slide down the slope of sadness. Yogananda explained that most people live in an endless cycle: happiness when desires are fulfilled, sadness when those desires aren’t met or stop bringing satisfaction, and boredom in between. This is a roller coaster that we definitely want to avoid.

We live in a world that values effort, but often overlooks the importance of relaxation. We count our steps, track our workouts, and even “work” at our tennis games. Where is the element of fun in all this? Where is the relaxation? While discipline is essential, too much effort—especially if it becomes tense or joyless—can be counterproductive. This is true not only in our outer lives, but in our spiritual practices as well.

Many friends from around the world have been writing Ananda asking for prayers, guidance, and words of comfort. To offer hope and an understanding of what’s happening, we’ve chosen as the focus this year for our annual Spiritual Renewal Week “The Time for Knowing God Has Come.”

For the small things in life, follow the advice in one of Swami’s books: Do It NOW! Don’t leave dirty dishes in the sink. Try answering all your emails before going to bed. You’ll be amazed at how much freer your mind will feel. For larger tasks, don’t let them languish on a shelf. Leaving something unfinished is like leaving a faucet dripping: It drains your energy. I’ve had this lesson brought home to me recently.

This little incident totally changed my experience of being in India. I realized that I could either “hold my breath” and live in fear, or follow reasonable precautions and enjoy the trip. I chose the latter. We traveled throughout the country, visited holy shrines, and fell in love with the spiritual depth and beauty of India and her people. None of our group ever got so much as a sniffle. Our minds are powerful receiving stations, and we’re constantly being bombarded by thoughts vibrating in the ether. Love, compassion, fear, anger—they’re all out there, waiting to be picked up by minds receptive to their vibration. It’s up to us to choose.

Embarking on the journey of life is also like creating a garden. You need to start with a vision.

Paramhansa Yogananda tells us that there is no one whose prayers haven’t been answered in some way. But he warns us that God listens to our hearts, not just our words. The little wishes that loop quietly in the background of our thoughts—those are our real prayers.

If, when in the face of difficulties, we choose to be positive, undaunted, and filled with hope, then little by little, we’re transformed into a person of such strength and courage that nothing can defeat. That is the opportunity that obstacles offer us: to become our own highest self.

Fear of the unknown is deeply ingrained in human nature. But for the spiritual aspirant, fear becomes not an enemy, but a valuable teacher. I’d like to share three stories—each one illuminating a reason why it’s important to face our fears with courage and faith.

Why do thousands of people come each year to visit the tulips?

The key takeaway is clear: Each of us can, and must, become agents of the light.

How do I maintain my peace amidst all the struggles and demands of my daily life?

Nervousness, worry, and anxiety each have distinct different causes and cures. Worry usually involves a specific situation and is generally temporary. Anxiety is a persistent, generalized state of unease or fear that may not have any specialized trigger. Nervousness, however, arises from overstimulation of the nerves. Let’s focus on this, because strengthening our nervous system can lead to permanent improvements in our well-being on all levels—body, mind, and soul.

Since Jyotish and I just celebrated our fiftieth wedding anniversary, and have both written blogs about it, I thought I’d play a little joke on you. The “I do” that I’m talking about today is not the one that the bride and groom say to each other as they stand before the altar during a wedding ceremony. Nor is the “dilemma” the sometimes difficult choice as to whether a person is the right one for you.

All of us live out the pattern of our nature. Our choices—thoughts, words, deeds, and feelings—when added up and averaged, create a tapestry of tendencies. Over time these tendencies form our personality. The pattern is formed by the magnetic pull of our likes and dislikes.

This was the beginning of a lifelong relationship that started as only a tiny ember of love, but over the years has grown into a beautiful flame which illumines both of our lives, and perhaps the lives of others as well. As we approach the celebration of our fiftieth anniversary, Jyotish recently wrote a blog about what he has learned through our five decades together. I thought I’d follow his lead and share a few thoughts as well.

One of the loveliest aspects of selfless service is its power to expand the heart. Love is an aspect of God that can be found everywhere. Some of its most touching expressions appear in the deep care and affection of parents toward their children. Not only people, but animals as well will sacrifice their own lives in order to protect their young.

t’s important to take time out to experience our own nature—not as defined by our body, mind, or personality; nor by our desires and attachments; nor yet by socially accepted goals and personas. This search is aided by using the dictum of gyana yoga, the yoga of discrimination: “Neti, neti,” or “Not this, not that.” We must make an effort to discover who we really are, apart from outer self-definitions, until we begin to feel like our authentic self.