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The Sober Experience
Jay Luis
170 episodes
1 week ago
If relief feels easy but change feels impossible, you’re right where we start. We open with a twenty-two year milestone, a humbling group inventory, and a hard look at how meeting culture shapes recovery. Crowded beginner meetings can build comfort, but literature-centered work builds character. That tension sets the table for a deep dive into Step Six: becoming entirely ready to have our defects removed, not just managed. I get honest about ineffective behaviors that look harmless in the mo...
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All content for The Sober Experience is the property of Jay Luis and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
If relief feels easy but change feels impossible, you’re right where we start. We open with a twenty-two year milestone, a humbling group inventory, and a hard look at how meeting culture shapes recovery. Crowded beginner meetings can build comfort, but literature-centered work builds character. That tension sets the table for a deep dive into Step Six: becoming entirely ready to have our defects removed, not just managed. I get honest about ineffective behaviors that look harmless in the mo...
Show more...
Personal Journals
Religion & Spirituality,
Society & Culture,
Health & Fitness,
Mental Health
Episodes (20/170)
The Sober Experience
What If You Left Room For Betrayal And Chose Love Anyway
If relief feels easy but change feels impossible, you’re right where we start. We open with a twenty-two year milestone, a humbling group inventory, and a hard look at how meeting culture shapes recovery. Crowded beginner meetings can build comfort, but literature-centered work builds character. That tension sets the table for a deep dive into Step Six: becoming entirely ready to have our defects removed, not just managed. I get honest about ineffective behaviors that look harmless in the mo...
Show more...
1 week ago
46 minutes

The Sober Experience
From Mobb Deep to Mercy: Readiness, Recovery, and Real Life
Ever notice how the habits that once kept you safe start wrecking your peace when life gets quieter and better? That’s where we go—deep into Step Six and the gritty, daily work of becoming ready to let go. Not just talking about “defects,” but translating them into real moments: the urge to win an argument, the need to be seen as the hero, the subtle digs that make us look big while someone else shrinks. We unpack why humility is just clear seeing, why honesty is a relief not a punishment, an...
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3 weeks ago
45 minutes

The Sober Experience
We finished a Fourth Step together—and learned why gentleness beats control
A viral halftime rumor, a sweltering shop, and a garlic-dusted pile of fries aren’t supposed to lead into one of the most honest Step Four shares you’ll hear—yet that’s exactly where we go. We start light, then drop into the real work: showing up for family without controlling them, letting a burger stand in for surrender, and choosing connection over preferences when love asks for presence more than opinions. From there we open the book and get specific. Sexual inventory isn’t spectacle her...
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1 month ago
54 minutes

The Sober Experience
Freedom's Price
Welcome back to the Sober Experience after a much-needed break! This powerful return episode explores the challenging yet liberating concept of surrender—not as weakness, but as the ultimate path to freedom. When my younger children left home under varying circumstances, I found myself face-to-face with one of recovery's most difficult principles: creating space for others to find their own way rather than attempting to control outcomes. This family shift forced me to practice what I've prea...
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1 month ago
54 minutes

The Sober Experience
I Used to Matter in All the Wrong Ways
Raw, unfiltered honesty cuts through every moment of this deeply personal inventory episode. As I continue working through Step Four, I confront the uncomfortable truths about my relationships, sexuality, and experiences with abuse that shaped my journey toward recovery. The inventory begins with reflections on my past relationships, revealing how desperately I needed to matter to others—whether positively or negatively. My sponsor's piercing observation that what I called being "chameleon-l...
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4 months ago
48 minutes

The Sober Experience
Recovery Unfiltered: Confronting Relationship Patterns
Fear lurks beneath the surface of addiction like an invisible current, pulling us toward self-destructive behaviors we can't seem to escape. Through deeply personal inventory work, this episode examines how fear shapes our relationships, decisions, and recovery journey. The paradox becomes clear as we dive into Step 4 work: we often "manufacture our own misery" by demanding constant happiness. When we insist life conform to our expectations, we set ourselves up for inevitable disappointment....
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5 months ago
47 minutes

The Sober Experience
When Emotions Take the Wheel, Recovery Gets Real
Raw, unfiltered, and deeply personal—this episode takes you straight into the trenches of emotional sobriety work as we continue exploring Step Four of recovery. When was the last time you truly examined your feelings, or questioned why you react the way you do? The journey begins with a jarring confession: losing my cool completely with a stranger on the streets of Park Slope . This humbling incident sets the stage for an honest conversation about how our emotions can hijack our behavior wh...
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6 months ago
31 minutes

The Sober Experience
Confronting Resentments and Entitlement in Recovery
Have you ever wondered what lurks beneath the surface of your resentments? What drives that burning frustration when someone posts political rants on Facebook, or when authorities enforce rules you find unfair? Step into the vulnerable world of Fourth Step inventory work as we resume our journey through the 12 Steps using the Narcotics Anonymous Step Working Guide. This raw, unfiltered exploration takes us deep into resentments – those persistent feelings that arise when we can't let go or f...
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6 months ago
36 minutes

The Sober Experience
Searching for Self: The Moral Inventory Journey with Step 4
Step Four of recovery offers a profound opportunity for self-discovery and transformation, but what does it really mean to make a "searching and fearless moral inventory" of ourselves? In this deeply reflective episode, I explore how this crucial step serves as a gateway to understanding who we truly are beneath layers of addiction, denial, and self-destructive behaviors. The journey through Step Four resembles peeling an onion—each inventory we take removes another layer of protection, brin...
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7 months ago
29 minutes

The Sober Experience
Trust the Process: How Letting Go of Control Transforms Recovery
Surrender might be the most misunderstood concept in recovery. Far from waving a white flag in defeat, true surrender becomes the foundation for genuine strength and transformation. In this raw and deeply personal episode, we navigate the complexities of Step Three – turning our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him. Drawing from recent personal challenges including a medical scare with a spouse, we explore how surrender becomes most crucial precisely when life feel...
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7 months ago
34 minutes

The Sober Experience
Finding Angels in the Darkness
Just as we were catching our breath, a routine cardiologist appointment turned into a nightmare when the doctor discovered my wife had 80% blockage in her main artery and 70% in others. Her heart actually stopped during the procedure. The call I received was clear: she couldn't leave the hospital. She needed bypass surgery, but her lupus complicated everything. The hospital battlefield presented its own challenges – conflicting information, ego-driven practitioners, and the struggle to advoc...
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7 months ago
56 minutes

The Sober Experience
The Hospital Chronicles: Misunderstandings and Miracles
When life throws a crisis your way, how do you respond? This episode takes you on a raw and emotional journey through an unexpected health challenge as my wife's lupus flare-up brings our lives to a standstill. With her condition spiraling, a routine train ride turns into a terrifying health scare, ushering us into the stark reality of medical misunderstandings and the pressure to advocate fiercely for one another. Join us as we unravel the hurdles of navigating hospitals, tackling the neglec...
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8 months ago
52 minutes

The Sober Experience
From Bath Ave to Blessed : Frankie's Path to Peace & Purpose
Frankie's journey from the vibrant streets of Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, to the dimly lit DJ booths of Bay Ridge is as captivating as it is raw. Growing up in a family with a mix of strict routines and lively interactions, Frankie found himself at the crossroads of academia and mischief. His story takes a dramatic turn as he describes his fascination with the intriguing Bath Avenue crowd, where organized crime posed an irresistible charm. Through his candid narration, we get a glimpse of his life...
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8 months ago
1 hour 1 minute

The Sober Experience
Continuing on with Step 3
What happens when you turn your will and life over to a higher power, and how can this transformation impact your everyday life? Join me on the latest episode of the Sober Experience as I share personal stories and insights into navigating the recovery process. We kick things off with personal updates, like celebrating a friend's upcoming wedding and recounting a minor work mishap that highlighted the value of supportive colleagues. From there, we explore the significance of genuine relations...
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9 months ago
29 minutes

The Sober Experience
The Impact of Lived Experiences on Our Lives
Celebrating the milestone of my son's 30th birthday, I find myself reflecting on the incredible journey of fatherhood and the transformative path to sobriety. These decades have been filled with learning and growth, providing a stark contrast to the experiences of friends who are just beginning their parenting journeys. Through heartfelt anecdotes, like a memorable encounter at the gym, I lay bare the value of lived experiences, underscoring that true understanding arises not from theoretical...
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9 months ago
41 minutes

The Sober Experience
Step 3. Turning Challenges into Triumphs
We explore the transformative journey of turning one's life and will over to a higher power through Step Three of a recovery program. This episode is packed with personal stories about committing to change and the challenges that come with it, like quitting smoking alongside a family member. It's all about enduring short-term struggles for long-term growth, reclaiming responsibility for our actions, and recognizing that there are no shortcuts to genuine self-discovery. Finally, we discuss th...
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9 months ago
46 minutes

The Sober Experience
Sharing Love and Positivity Through Resilience
We discuss the challenges of trust in recovery as we reflect on personal losses and the growth of our children. By exploring the importance of humility and sharing our experiences, we hope to inspire others to engage positively with their recovery journey. • Exploring the impact of loss within the recovery community • Observing the evolution of relationships and emotional maturity • Distinguishing between speaking and sharing experiences • The significance of mentorship and...
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10 months ago
31 minutes

The Sober Experience
Heartfelt Reflections on Thanksgiving and Healing
What if Thanksgiving brought unexpected waves of emotion instead of just turkey and laughter? This episode takes you on a raw and heartfelt journey through the highs and lows of the holiday season, exploring the emotional complexities of spending Thanksgiving with family after losing a loved one. Through personal stories, I share the unpredictable challenges of mental health, highlighting how sobriety provides the tools to face thoughts of relapse and self-harm, even when life seems good on t...
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11 months ago
30 minutes

The Sober Experience
Embracing Warmth Amid Winter: Thanksgiving Memories and Finding Purpose
Ever bundled up against a biting New York winter, chasing camaraderie and cannabis through the bustling streets? That nostalgic pursuit of connection amid the cold mirrors the warmth and complexity of holiday gatherings, where the challenge of balancing work commitments and family traditions looms large. I invite you to join me on a journey through past Thanksgiving memories, as we navigate family dynamics, prepare beloved dishes like my wife's celebrated baked mac and cheese, and cherish the...
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11 months ago
42 minutes

The Sober Experience
Embracing Authenticity: From Political Skepticism to Faith and Generosity
Our exploration continues with a candid reflection on marriage, respect, and the shifting political landscape from the 80s and 90s. I recount my youthful disdain for political figures like George Bush and Bill Clinton, which matured into a deeper skepticism of hypocrisy in politics. Personal stories highlight the strength and understanding in my marriage and the tight-knit community that enriches our lives. A humorous party story, coupled with gym routines and a touching gesture from my wife,...
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11 months ago
42 minutes

The Sober Experience
If relief feels easy but change feels impossible, you’re right where we start. We open with a twenty-two year milestone, a humbling group inventory, and a hard look at how meeting culture shapes recovery. Crowded beginner meetings can build comfort, but literature-centered work builds character. That tension sets the table for a deep dive into Step Six: becoming entirely ready to have our defects removed, not just managed. I get honest about ineffective behaviors that look harmless in the mo...