Phillip Klever studied the impact of intergenerational emotional connection on families of origin. Here's what he found and what it means to you.
Show Notes:
Cutoff: The challenge of the parent/child relationship by John Bell, MDiv.
Extended Family Relationships: A Comparison of High and Low Symptom Families by Phillip Klever
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When others anxiously provoke you, one strategy is "don't argue, don't agree." This episode explains "Gray Rocking" and how it can work for you.
Show Notes:
‘Gray rocking’ is a way to deal with difficult people. Here’s how it works. - The Washington Post
Gray Rocking (Definition + Examples) - Practical Psychology
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This episode explores what "Fogging" is and how you can use it in anxious situations.
Show Notes:
When I Say No, I Feel Guilty by Manuel J. Smith
The Fogging Technique - Assertiveness Skills Articles
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This episode continues with an explanation of Positive Intelligence and covers the three strategies to increase your PQ so you can be a non-anxious presence.
Show Notes:
Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential AND HOW YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOURS by Shirzad Chamine
Take the Saboteur Assessment | Positive Intelligence
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Positive Intelligence is a practical approach to help you be your best through self-regulation and self-differentiation. This two-part series explains what it is and how it can help you.
Show Notes:
Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential AND HOW YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOURS by Shirzad Chamine
Take the Saboteur Assessment | Positive Intelligence
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Observing the patterns in a system, not just the behavior or individuals, can help to better self-differentiate. Here's how.
Show Notes:
When the Family Tightens Up - by Kathleen Smith
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Self-differentiation means that you are able to manage your own anxiety without involving others. This episode unpacks what this does (and doesn't) look like.
Show Notes:
Being the Captain of Your Own Ship by Kathleen Smith
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Courage is the strength to act in the face of fear, uncertainty, or adversity. This episode covers the final four types of everyday courage and how they relate to self-differentiation.
Show Notes:
6 Ways to Practice Everyday Courage by Alex Budak
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Courage is the strength to act in the face of fear, uncertainty, or adversity. This episode covers six types of everyday courage and how they relate to self-differentiation.
Show Notes:
6 Ways to Practice Everyday Courage by Alex Budak
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Understanding force field analysis, design thinking and leadership through self-differentiation will help you reduce resistance to change. This episode shows how.
Show Notes:
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The functioning of any relationship system is dependent on the level of self-differentiation among its members. In this two-part episode, I unpack a schema developed by Daniel V. Papero of the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family.
Show Notes:
Developing a systems model for family assessment. Family Systems: A Journal of Natural Systems Thinking in Psychiatry and the Sciences. 13, 2, 2018 by Daniel V. Papero.
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The functioning of any relationship system is dependent on the level of self-differentiation among its members. In this two-part episode, I unpack a schema developed by Daniel V. Papero of the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family.
Show Notes:
Developing a systems model for family assessment. Family Systems: A Journal of Natural Systems Thinking in Psychiatry and the Sciences. 13, 2, 2018 by Daniel V. Papero.
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Become a Patron for as little as $5/month.
According to Edwin Friedman, one of the characteristics of a chronically anxious society is the desire to seek safety instead of adventure. Non-anxious leaders seek adventure and learn to love it. Here’s how.
Show Notes:
The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times by Michelle Obama
A Failure of Nerve, Revised Edition: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman
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Understanding emotional process helps you to see how people deal with uncertainty and anxiety. This enables you to be less anxious and judgmental, as well as more compassionate. This episode shows you how.
Show Notes:
The Circle of Why by Kathleen Smith
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This example from Edwin Friedman's video on leadership through self-differentiation will help you manage anxiety in any relationship system.
Show Notes:
Leadership Through Self Differentiation A lecture by Edwin Friedman on YouTube
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You can’t make another person responsible. If you’re trying, you’re likely doing it wrong. Here’s why and how you can do better.
Show Notes:
Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman
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When you manage your anxiety by assuming you know what others are thinking, you often forgo the best possible outcomes.
Show Notes:
Are You Saying "No" For Others? - by Kathleen Smith Note: this is behind a paywall, but you can subscribe for $5/month (not an affiliate link).
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Understanding the concept of psychological reactance can help you avoid a concept of wills and increase the chances that people will react positively to your leadership.
Show Notes:
Rebel with a Cause - Choiceology Podcast
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The triangle is the most stable form of human relationship. Learning to recognize a triangle and how to manage it is essential to being a non-anxious leader.
Show Notes:
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In A Failure of Nerve, Edwin Friedman maintained that societal regression is counter evolutionary. In this episode, I unpack his five evolutionary principles of life as leadership principles.
Show Notes:
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