The Confidad Podcast

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2.46 | Hero vs. Guide: Why Setting Goals for Your Family Feels So Hard (and Why You Should Do It Anyway) | Season 2 Episode 46

5 months ago

11 minutes 31 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode of the Confidad Podcast, Dan Tinquist discusses the importance of intentional living in fatherhood, emphasizing the need for self-awareness and goal setting. He explores the concept of building a family culture that is both nurturing and growth-oriented, while also addressing the challenges of pursuing idealism in parenting. The conversation highlights the significance of marginal improvement and the role of a father as a guide rather than a hero, encouraging dads to focus on living for their children and guiding them through life's challenges.

Takeaways

I'm the only one who can fulfill the father role I have.

Self-awareness is helpful; it's good to know where you're going.

Building a family culture can reveal our shortcomings.

It's about the long game in family culture.

We should aim for a beautiful family culture.

The pursuit of idealism raises us up.

We will never reach idealism, but the pursuit changes us.

Measure the gains, not the gap.

Living a life of marginal improvement is ongoing.

The best dads guide their kids through life.

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From Restless to Rested: A New Paradigm for High-Achieving Fathers | Season 2 Episode 45

5 months ago

11 minutes 27 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode of the Confidad podcast, Dan Tinquist explores the themes of identity, rest, and fatherhood. He emphasizes the importance of understanding one's identity as a foundation for parenting and personal growth. Dan discusses the cultural challenges of balancing work and rest, advocating for a shift in mindset towards viewing rest as a necessary part of life rather than something to be earned. He shares personal anecdotes about family adventures and the significance of teaching children the value of rest. The conversation culminates in a spiritual perspective on rest, drawing from Christian teachings.

Takeaways

Identity is given before action in the Christian faith.

Rest is essential for a healthy family dynamic.

Striving for identity leads to burnout and anxiety.

Teaching kids about rest helps them avoid performance pressure.

Rest should be viewed as a gift, not a reward.

Adventure can be a source of rest and connection.

Understanding personal restful activities is crucial.

Cultural norms often misrepresent the concept of rest.

Resting first can lead to more productive work.

Spiritual teachings emphasize the importance of resting in one's identity.

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Leadership at Home: Crafting a Family Anthem That Drives Legacy and Connection | Season 2 Episode 44

6 months ago

18 minutes 9 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode of the Confidad podcast, Dan Tinquist discusses the importance of a fatherhood mindset, crafting family culture, and instilling values in children. He emphasizes the significance of effort, humor, and teamwork in family life, encouraging parents to create a positive environment that fosters growth and responsibility.

Takeaways

I'm the only one who can fulfill the father role I have.

Imperfection is reality; ownership is a choice.

We try hard; effort is key to success.

Humor should uplift, not put others down.

It takes a team to keep it clean; share responsibilities.

Family anthems guide our values and actions.

Positivity shapes our family culture.

Invite input from family members for buy-in.

Life is about learning to show up even when it's hard.

Crafting a legacy we can be proud of is essential.

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Present. No Matter the Performance | Season 2 Episode 43

6 months ago

10 minutes 8 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode of the Confidad podcast, Dan Tinquist discusses the importance of a healthy fatherhood mindset, emphasizing the need for parents to embrace imperfection and focus on being present for their children. He explores the challenges of 'car coaching' and the pressure it places on kids, advocating for a more supportive approach that prioritizes emotional validation and long-term growth over performance. The conversation highlights the rising rates of anxiety and depression among youth and encourages fathers to reflect on their parenting styles, ensuring they create a safe and nurturing environment for their children.

Takeaways

Ownership is a choice in fatherhood.

Car coaching often stems from a place of care.

Kids are people to be known, not projects to finish.

Performance should not define parental identity.

Anxiety in kids is exacerbated by performance pressure.

Being present means supporting kids in their struggles.

Long-term perspective helps in parenting decisions.

Validating emotions is crucial for kids' growth.

Open-ended questions foster better communication.

Creating a supportive environment reduces pressure on kids.

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From 'Sup Bro' to 'Hey. Dad?': Shifting the Conversation at Home | Season 2 Episode 42

6 months ago

13 minutes 3 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode of the Confidad Podcast, Dan Tinquist discusses the importance of creating a safe and open communication environment for children. He emphasizes the need for fathers to analyze their connection with their kids, encouraging them to foster a relationship where children feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of correction or teasing. The conversation highlights practical tools for improving communication and building trust, ultimately guiding fathers to become the supportive figures their children need.

Takeaways

I am the only one who can fulfill the father role.

Imperfection is reality; ownership is a choice.

When kids feel safe, they drop their facade.

Communication should not be limited to correction or teasing.

Creating a safe space takes intention and time.

Open-ended questions encourage deeper conversations.

Consistency helps build trust with your kids.

Kids need a safe place to discuss hard topics.

Fatherhood requires active engagement and presence.

The choice to improve fatherhood lies with the father.

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Five Seconds of Fear or a Summer of Regret? Embracing Risk in Fatherhood | Season 2 Episode 41

6 months ago

9 minutes 38 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode of the Confidad podcast, Dan Tinquist discusses the importance of embracing imperfection in fatherhood, the balance between adventure and risk, and how to build resilience in children through fear. He emphasizes the need for intentional parenting, encouraging families to push boundaries and engage in meaningful conversations about risk-taking and growth. The episode concludes with a call to action for parents to create opportunities for adventure and learning within their families.

Takeaways

I'm the only one who can fulfill the father role I have.

Adventure and risk resonate differently with different people.

Choosing fear can lead to growth and resilience.

Children today are less resilient due to safer environments.

It's important to allow kids to take risks to build confidence.

Parents should gauge their children's thresholds for fear.

Intentional parenting requires a vision and framework.

Pushing boundaries can create lasting family memories.

Conversations about risk should be ongoing in families.

Life should be lived intentionally, not by default.

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1% Better Every Day: The Dad Who Grows | Season 2 Episode 40

6 months ago

10 minutes 48 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode of the Confidad podcast, Dan Tinquist explores the challenges and responsibilities of fatherhood, emphasizing the importance of self-belief, presence, and community support. He addresses the common doubts fathers face about their capabilities and encourages them to embrace their unique roles. Through personal anecdotes and insights, Dan highlights the significance of emotional intelligence and continuous growth in parenting, urging fathers to seek help and build connections with others in their journey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iddt4sVZTvI

Takeaways

I'm the only one who can fulfill the father role I have.

Am I the right one for the job?

There's no one else in this world that can fulfill the fatherhood role.

Your kids need you to show up, not just financially.

Doubt can be a destroyer in fatherhood.

Be the best dad that your kids need.

You cannot reach your full potential in fatherhood alone.

Choose to do it well today.

1% better every day in your parenting journey.

Community can help you grow as a father.

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Screen-Free Connection: A Simple Daily Habit to Strengthen Fatherhood | Season 2 Episode 39

6 months ago

10 minutes 38 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode of the Confidab podcast, host Dan Tinquist discusses the importance of being fully present with our children in an age dominated by social media and technology. He emphasizes the need for intentionality in parenting, encouraging listeners to set aside distractions and focus on building strong connections with their kids. Through practical advice and personal anecdotes, Tinkwist highlights the significance of quality time and the impact of our attention on our children's development.

Takeaways

I am the only one who can fulfill the father role.

Social media can create goodness or destroy connections.

Full attention is crucial for meaningful interactions.

Devices can divide our attention from our kids.

We need to consciously choose to be present.

Short bursts of quality time can strengthen relationships.

Living up to external expectations can rob us of experiences.

Our kids need to feel safe in their environment.

Setting aside devices can enhance family connections.

Intentional parenting equips children for adulthood.

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Fatherhood, ADHD, and Integrity: Learning to Show Up Well | Season 2 Episode 38

7 months ago

11 minutes 13 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode of the Confidad Podcast, host Dan Tinquist shares his personal journey with ADHD and its impact on his role as a father. He discusses the challenges of being present in relationships and the importance of understanding neurodivergence in parenting. Dan offers insights into managing ADHD through practical strategies and emphasizes the need for creativity and empowerment in parenting. He encourages listeners to embrace their unique stories and find ways to support themselves and their children in navigating the complexities of ADHD.

Takeaways

I'm the only one who can fulfill the father role I have.

I was diagnosed with ADHD in September.

It's very hard for me to be fully present.

High stress level, low connection leads to conflict.

The struggle is real. It's not an excuse.

Empower your kids while creating supportive systems.

It's our job to own our own stuff and grow.

ADHD adds interesting pieces into parenting.

We get to be more creative in our approaches.

Embrace your unique story and support each other.

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Peel Back the Facade: Becoming the Dad Your Kids Actually Need | Season 2 Episode 37

7 months ago

7 minutes 38 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode, Dan Tinquist explores the essential themes of confidence in fatherhood, emphasizing the difference between shaky and steady confidence. He discusses the importance of understanding one's core role as a father, the significance of building strong relationships with children, and the need to embrace imperfection in parenting. The conversation encourages fathers to seek community support and to be open about their struggles and growth in their parenting journey.

Takeaways

I'm the only one who can fulfill the father role that I have.

Shaky confidence is based on lies and assumptions.

Dads who are not lifelong learners have shaky confidence.

Provision and protection are important, but not enough.

The strongest relationships come from admitting mistakes.

There's no such thing as the best dad.

Allow your kids to see that you are growing.

Life is a series of failures and victories.

Join the Confidad community to fail forward together.

I hope that you will join us.

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Fatherhood Isn’t Just Science—It’s an Art You Can Master | Season 2 Episode 36

7 months ago

11 minutes 2 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode of the Confidad podcast, Dan Tinquist explores the dual nature of fatherhood as both an art and a science. He emphasizes the importance of adapting parenting styles to meet the unique needs of each child, rather than relying solely on formulaic approaches. Dan discusses the heavy responsibilities of fatherhood, the necessity of community support among fathers, and the importance of taking risks to foster personal growth and connection. He encourages fathers to seek out trustworthy relationships to share their struggles and successes, ultimately aiming to become the dads their children need.

Takeaways

Fatherhood requires both an artistic and scientific approach.

Each child is unique and requires tailored parenting.

The burden of fatherhood is significant and ongoing.

Community support is essential for fathers.

Fatherhood is a lifelong journey of learning and adapting.

It's important to seek feedback and share experiences with other dads.

Building trustworthy relationships with other fathers is crucial.

Taking risks can lead to personal growth in fatherhood.

Celebrating successes and processing struggles together is beneficial.

Creating or joining a supportive community can enhance fatherhood experiences.

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The Marginal Gains That Protect Your Family Legacy | Season 2 Episode 35

7 months ago

9 minutes 26 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode of the Confidad Podcast, host Dan Tinquist explores the parallels between business management and parenting, emphasizing the importance of recognizing and addressing blind spots in both areas. Using the story of Fred, a business owner who ignored cash leaks, Dan illustrates how similar neglect in parenting can lead to long-term regrets. He encourages listeners to take ownership of their parenting journey, actively seek advice, and build a trusting family culture to foster healthy relationships with their children.

Takeaways

I'm the only one who can fulfill the father role I have.

The danger of leaking cash in your business can parallel parenting.

Cash leaks in business can lead to significant losses over time.

Ignoring small issues can result in larger regrets later.

Trust can leak out of family systems just like cash.

Repairing relationships is easier when addressed early.

Owning mistakes is crucial in parenting.

Uncovering blind spots can prevent future regrets.

Building a family culture takes intentionality and effort.

Seek help and advice to improve parenting practices.

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The 5% That Could Make or Break Your Kids’ Emotional Safety with You | Season 2 Episode 34

7 months ago

7 minutes 48 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode of the Confidad Podcast, Dan Tinquist explores the critical role of fathers in creating an emotional sanctuary for their children. He emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and personal growth in parenting, urging fathers to confront their emotional responses and work towards being a safe space for their kids. The conversation highlights the distinction between being a supportive figure and perpetuating emotional trauma, encouraging fathers to engage in deep work for the benefit of their families.

Takeaways

I am the only one who can fulfill the father role.

Do my kids see me as a safe house or a danger zone?

Your prefrontal cortex has been fully developed; theirs has not.

Are you a place where they might experience emotional trauma?

Does not get transformed in us, we will transfer to our children.

You can choose to be a dad that is an emotional sanctuary.

The bridge the emotional status quo is your deep work.

The 5% that I do is the difference between being an emotional sanctuary and perpetuating trauma.

You would never make your kids pay the price for your own work.

May this be a fork in the road to say, I'm gonna choose deep work.

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Consistency is King: Why Your Actions Define You as a Dad | Season 2 Episode 33

7 months ago

9 minutes 58 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode of the Confidad Podcast, Dan Tinquist explores the importance of intention and perception in fatherhood. He emphasizes that while parents may have good intentions, their actions must align with those intentions to foster trust and integrity with their children. The conversation delves into the challenges of parenting, the significance of living with integrity, and the urgency of being intentional in interactions with kids. Dan encourages fathers to reflect on their actions and strive for consistency to empower their children and build a strong foundation of trust and love.

Takeaways

I'm the only one who could fulfill the father role I have.

Intention is our reality, but perception is theirs.

If our intentions don't match our actions, then their perspective is reality.

Are you doing what you say you're gonna do?

Parenting is hard, especially if you want to do it right.

I don't get to control what a random stranger thinks about me.

Not many things are more important than living with integrity.

Can you get better at it? Absolutely.

We do not get to control the perspective by which they see us.

May you empower yourself with the reality that the days are getting shorter.

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The Leadership Move You May be Missing at Home: Understanding and Mastering the Power of Silence | Season 2 Episode 32

7 months ago

9 minutes 54 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode of the Confidad podcast, Dan Tinquist explores the significance of silence in parenting. He emphasizes how silence can communicate unintentional messages to children and the importance of addressing sensitive topics openly. Dan also discusses the strategic use of silence to foster deeper communication and trust between parents and children, encouraging parents to create a safe space for dialogue.

Takeaways

I'm the only one who can fulfill the father role I have, so I choose to do it well.

Our silence can communicate things we're not intending to say.

If we're silent on certain topics, it means we're not a safe place.

We need to be the ones that begin these conversations with our kids.

Silence can be used strategically to listen and understand our kids better.

Utilizing silence can help draw out our kids' thoughts and feelings.

Open-ended questions combined with silence show that we care.

Silence can communicate trust, love, and patience without words.

Being present in silence can create a non-anxious environment.

Starting with just 35 seconds of silence can open up communication with our kids.

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The ROI of Intentional Fatherhood: Transforming Mistakes into Growth | Season 2 Episode 31

7 months ago

11 minutes 58 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode of the Confidad podcast, Dan Tinquist discusses the realities of fatherhood, emphasizing the importance of embracing imperfection and learning from failures. He explores how fathers can navigate their shortcomings, prioritize emotional growth, and create a safe environment for their children, especially during the challenging teenage years. The conversation encourages dads to take ownership of their actions, repair relationships, and actively participate in their children's emotional development.

Takeaways

Imperfection is a reality in fatherhood.

Failure is part of the journey as a dad.

It's important to learn from failures and grow.

Dads need to model emotional vocabulary for their kids.

Prioritization of time is crucial for family engagement.

Creating a safe space for teenagers is essential.

Discipline should be balanced with understanding and safety.

Knowing your kids helps in navigating their challenges.

A vision for family culture drives daily actions.

Joining a community can support growth in fatherhood.

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The Art of Saying No: A Businessman Dad's Path to Purposeful Parenting | Season 2 Episode 30

7 months ago

13 minutes 43 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode of the Confidad podcast, Dan Tinquist explores the importance of a fatherhood mindset, emphasizing the need to live life intentionally rather than by default. He discusses the significance of understanding the reasons behind saying 'no' to children and how it can impact family connections. The episode also invites listeners to a masterclass aimed at helping parents delve deeper into their parenting choices and improve their relationships with their children.

Takeaways

I choose to live my life and not let it live me.

Living by default can lead to unresolved issues.

Understanding the power of a no is crucial in parenting.

Being a student of your children helps deepen connections.

It's important to assess why we say no to our kids.

Our kids are not projects; they are our priority.

The why behind our no can unlock being present.

Spending time with kids is not a waste of time.

Join the masterclass to explore your parenting choices.

Feel empowered to unpack your parenting decisions.

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The Businessman's Blueprint: Leading Your Family on Purpose | Community | Season 2 Episode 29

7 months ago

14 minutes 42 seconds

The Confidad Podcast

Summary

In this episode of the Confidad Podcast, Dan Tinquist discusses the importance of community and interdependence in parenting. He emphasizes that while it takes a village to raise children, parents should not outsource their responsibilities but rather engage actively in their children's lives. The conversation explores the balance between outsourcing and resourcing in parenting, the significance of building a supportive village, and the need for intentional community connections. Dan encourages parents to take initiative in creating a safe and nurturing environment for their children, highlighting the role of both in-person and online communities in this process.

Takeaways

Fatherhood requires a mindset of ownership and love.

Community is essential for effective parenting.

Outsourcing parenting can lead to isolation.

Interdependence fosters a culture of support.

Repairing relationships with kids is crucial.

Parents should be the primary educators and disciplers.

Building a village requires intentional effort.

Online communities can supplement local connections.

Creating safe spaces for kids is vital.

Empowerment comes from taking initiative in community building.

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Custom show music written and produced by:

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