Do you constantly strive to improve? Are you a highly accomplished person who strives to become even better? But does it seem as though the more that you develop, the more too that you deteriorate?
Overcome the common mistake of conflating self-improvement with self-care. True self-care is an ongoing tending to our needs. Faux self-care is an attempt at compensatory amending of self-abuse.
Learn to distinguish healthy self-discipline from brutal self-discipline. Gain practical skills to improve your self-care in ways that support your achieving your deepest goals -- & your sustaining of them for the long-term.
Many high achievers live under a spell of worry. Worrying gives many of us an illusion of control. We believe that we are being conscientious & responsible by worrying, but in truth we are draining our capacity.
Learn to preserve your energy, so that you are response-able -- that is, you are able to respond to whatever comes, when it comes. Understand the differences between worrying, preparing & taking action. Plan for what is likely to happen -- & learn to be more fit & ready for anything that may come, however unexpected. Tap into the worry-taming power of knowing your values & your intentions. And gain many other practical tips for combatting worry.
Is your intense desire a healthy want or a destructive addiction? Is the all-consuming focus of your time & attention -- for work, a relationship, a hobby, money or some other substance, item or behavior -- putting you on a path to heaven or the road to hell?
Can your drive & desire be satiated? Will attaining this goal or experience cause your world to become wider & richer -- or does it spur a progressive narrowing of your life?
Learn to gage whether what you crave or feel compelled to do is restricting & depleting you or opening you up to broader experiences & a more multi-faceted life. Has an all-consuming focus of your time & attention taken over? Reclaim your vibrant health, meaningful relationships & your ability to feel satisfied. Cultivate what you need more of in order to thrive & create a life that is balanced & abundant.
What should you do when you have made a mistake, personally or professionally? What is the best way to proceed when you have done something that hurt or harmed someone? How should you handle a relationship that is experiencing a contentious clash or a cordial but strained dynamics -- or one that has no contact at all?
Learn how to access whether a relationship is worth mending. Not all relationships should be mended; some relationships are better mourned. Develop your ability to determine whether or not to apologize. Explore how to hone the art of apologizing. Learn the four-step process of making an authentic apology -- one that is both heart-felt & effective: acknowledge, apologize, remedy & reassure.
Are you are feeling held down or held back? This episode will help you to understand how you are bound and why you are trapped -- and what you can do to break free.
Are you stuck due to your lack of control, lack of clarity or lack of courage? Is it that you have been trying to control the uncontrollable? Is it that you have not been clear as to what you need or want? Or is it that you have not been courageous and confident in taking action? Identify which of these obstacles constrains you and gain the power to unlock the chains that are keeping you stuck.
It's the anniversary of The Authenticity Coach podcast! One year ago today, on September 27, 2024, the first episode of the show was posted. Over the past year, there have been 55 episodes -- a new episode posted each Friday at 5 am.
If you have enjoyed the show, please be sure to follow the show & give it a five-star rating. Also, if you would like The Authenticity Coach podcast to continue, I could really use your support to grow its reach. Please tell your friends & colleagues why you love the show -- & select one of your favorite episodes to send to a few people you care about who could also benefit from listening.
I am so grateful for you -- your valuable time & your attention!
I invite you to connect with me directly. Thank you! Be well!
Are you tired or burnt out? Do you need a break in order to recharge, so that you can recover from exhaustion & return to work ready to go? Or do you need to break out, so that you can be released from demoralization & feel liberated to live in sync with your values?
Learn the key distinctions between feeling tired & being burnt out. Understand why these two states require different remedies. Gain practical approaches to mitigate the chronic cycle of feeling tired. These remedies include having a plan to refill your pitcher, managing your plate and developing your ability to "get silly" fast. Learn what you can -- & cannot -- do about burnout. Identify your internal & external avenues for shifting your career from oppressive to uplifting.
What's your filter? If you're seeking something, how will you know if you have found it? How will you go about determining whether a particular person, place or position aligns with what you truly want?
You need a practical process to vet opportunities. A personalized filter is the approach that enables you to screen possibilities to identify those that satisfy your dealbreakers. Learn how to create a custom filter by formulating what you will say, ask & observe.
Your physical environment matters. Your work & your life are impacted by what surrounds you. If you want your best energy to come out in a space, you must set up that area to support that energy.
Do you want to be more focused, reach a higher level of success, feel calmer, be more creative, be more supportive of others, convey greater gravitas, be more organized or increase your intensity? Whatever it is that you want to improve, making changes to your workspace can be a game-changer.
Whether you work in a home office, have a private on-site office, have your own cube or sit in open bench seating, investing a small amount of money & effort into upgrading your work area can yield large results.
Learn simple steps you can take to restore your dignity by cleaning up the dinginess. See what you can easily do to support better function by allowing for a smoother flow of work. Seize the powerful opportunity to maximize your performance by personalizing the space so that it inspires you & portrays the impression you want to make.
Experience the impact of creating a work environment that reflects how you want to feel & supports the results you want to achieve.
Creation requires conflict. Whether we are striking a match to start a fire, brainstorming to launch a business innovation or establishing rapport to engage in a worthwhile conversation, nothing can be created without there being friction.
Tap into the creative power of friction. Too much friction & we are worn down & defeated; not enough friction & we are untethered & unrefined. Meet the five types of people in regards to friction: the opponent, the commentator, the coach, the spectator & the cheerleader. Understand your level of tolerance for friction. Access how much friction currently surrounds you. Learn how to identify the type & degree of friction you require to create what you want to accomplish.
Look to the frog for three of life's greatest lessons. The wisdom & warnings of the proverbial frog guides us as to when we need to work hard & eat the frog, when we should welcome the help of others & kiss the frog and when we must jump out of dangerous waters so as not to be the frog who boils to death.
The frog reminds us to carefully consider when we are best served by doing more, doing with or doing less. Our frog teaches us the values of discipline & discovery as well as, at times, the function of distain -- & why it matters so much which of these principles we allow to command our decisions & actions in any given situation.
Learn how to identify whether you are being called to dive in, reach out or get out. Gain practical skills to help you to eat the frog, kiss a frog & avoid being a boiling frog.
Do you have a request that you want your supervisor to approve? Would you like the ideas that you propose to be well-received & implemented? Is it your desire to be highly valued by your organization for doing what you most love to do?
If so, learn why it is imperative to tie your passion, purpose & proposals to a compelling business reason. Develop a practice of identifying what is important to your decision-makers & learn to present each of your requests & ideas in a way that meets the needs of those individuals & aligns with the goals of the enterprise. Understand how to "make your case" so that you it is good for you -- & good for business.
Have you been called a control freak? What if the problem is not that you want to control, but that you are trying to control the wrong things?
Learn how you can gain greater control -- control that is real. Wield the power of focusing on what impacts you. Examine your "focus on me" flower and identify its petals of your needs & wants, your health, your resources & your integrity.
Gain the wisdom of staying in your own lane. Claim your power to refuse to tolerate so much. See how to spot where you do have control -- & where you don't. Begin to overcome the fearful state of believing that nothing good can come to you without your plotting, prodding & pushing for it. Recognize the existence of the unimaginable magic & mystery of the Universe -- & appreciate how the unplanned & unexpected can deliver gifts & bring about outcomes that surpass anything that you have attempted to make happen.
Have you been told that you need to show greater confidence & be more assertive? Or are you someone who has been told that you are too forceful & that you need to be softer & show more warmth?
Whether you are considered "too" gentle & timid or "too" harsh & intimidating, does it feel as though you are in a no-win situation? If you have been told that you must be more self-assured & strong in order to advance, you can choose to behave more aggressively -- & put yourself at the miserable risk of not being as well liked. Or if you are someone who is already quite commanding, you can decide to act in a more meek & weak manner -- but at the high cost of forfeiting a degree of your power & hard-won influence.
There is a way out of this dilemma. You can be both assertive & regarded with affection. You can be both powerful & popular. You achieve this by being more direct & more kind.
Understand directness & kindness in terms of spectrums. Explore examples of how to communicate in your own style that is high in both directness & kindness -- that is, being someone who is "lovingly honest." And become able to identify, in yourself & in others, behaviors that are not lovingly honest. Gain practical tips for becoming more direct & kinder.
Do you want work/life balance? Or are you seeking work/life flexibility? Learn the difference between balance & flexibility -- & why it is so important to know which you actually desire.
Achieving balance often requires removing a portion of the work load, in order to decrease the weight of the burden &, in turn, create a stability that is sustainable. Flexibility, on the other hand, allows for modifications as to how, when or where work is done. It embraces a willingness to permit greater autonomy. Flexibility does not, however, decrease the amount of the work, nor does it lessen the degree to which we are held accountable to deliver that work product on time & in top quality.
Gain the ability to identify the specific work/life balance or work/life flexibility that you are seeking. Develop the approach of articulating your request in a direct & effective way -- one that presents you in a highly professional light & appeals to your employer's top objectives.
Questions can be transformative. Asking the right question, to the right person, at the right time can change your life.
Follow this 5-point guide to forming & asking the questions that will enable you to receive the information, guidance & opportunities you are seeking.
* Is your question big enough?
* To whom are you asking the question?
* Is your question direct? Or is it really a complaint, a nagging push or approval-seeking masquerading as a question?
* Are you pausing & holding quiet to receive an answer?
* Does your question allow for the response that you want?
Asking better questions has the power to quickly change your career, finances, relationships & overall well-being.
What is coaching? It's a transformational process of inspiration, inquiries, insights and implementation. Coaching is a conversation with an outcome, where the success of the coaching engagement is assessed & measured.
An impactful coach is your trusted thinking partner. Coaching enables you to see things from new perspectives & then helps you to weave a golden thread through what had seemed to be disparate aspects of your personality, values & experience. Your coach partners with you to craft a clear, cohesive & compelling narrative as to who you are & what you are seeking, spoken in your authentic style & natural voice. Your coach is your cheerleader & your accountability partner, digging deep for your true desires & helping you to construct tactical, practical plans to make your dreams a reality.
Learn how coaching differs from therapy, consulting & mentoring. Discover the power of coaching to propel you from being stuck in a place of outward-only success to living a life of inward & outward thriving.
What if your so-called "weakness" is your superpower? What if those qualities & behaviors that you have been told are your shortcomings are actually your gifts? Are you tired of being told that you need to change & downplay the best & most special parts of who you are?
Learn how to frame what is exceptional about you, so that you can stop hiding it & start highlighting it. Examine what you are naturally great at doing, embrace that quality & determine where it is not only tolerated or accepted but highly valued & richly rewarded. Explore how to unapologetically own the distinctive way in which you are "too much" or "too little" -- & recast that way of being into your signature superpower trait.
All dreams come true in the same way. There are three essential steps to getting what you want. Whether you have a fanciful desire for some small thing or a huge dream for your life, in order to get it you must know what you want, ask for it & receive it.
Overcome your practice of having scattered intentions that bring about scattered results by learning to clarify what you want. Understand what it means to ask for what you -- by speaking directly & by taking action. Practice the art of receiving, including appreciating the importance of being graciously receptive & discovering the magic of being open as to how your dream may come into reality.
Is security a top value of yours? Has the bedrock of your security been financial for as long as you can remember? And now, as you press on to gain more & more monetary security, is it coming at the increasingly high cost of your health?
There comes a time for many high achievers when security becomes less about wealth & more about health. Learn how your definition of security has changed since you started your career. Understand how much is enough. Identify your "break even" between your fiscal and physical needs -- based upon what you need to feel secure & well today.
