We all want to be happy—but so many of the ways we chase happiness actually leave us more disconnected, burnt out, or empty than before. In this episode, we’ll walk through five of the most common happiness traps: the things we do to feel better that often make us feel worse. Along the way, we’ll explore what Nietzsche, Marx, and modern Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek have to say about the pursuit of joy. Then, we’ll turn to one of the longest-running studies on happiness to ask the big question: when it comes to feeling good, what actually works?
No one has the secret to happiness. But a lot of smart people have said a lot of smart things that might help you feel better and access a little more joy. Let’s talk about it.
EPISODE OUTLINE
00:00 Intro
01:18 Break
03:22 5 happiness traps
03:27 1. Overconsumption
06:00 Overconsumption starts with scarcity programming
07:11 Nietzsche & overconsumption as a way to fill the void
10:37 2. Chasing achievements
11:46 Slavoj Zizek and the duty to enjoy the grind
13:26“Don’t be ridiculous, Andrea. Everyone wants this.”
14:18 Superego injunction: “a million girls would kill to have this job”
15:22 On using a lack of happiness as fuel to grind
15:56 3. Comparison
18:11 Downward social comparison
22:12 4. Self- and symptom-focused spiritual practices
22:55 Marx on how economic systems shape values
23:28 Self-centered spirituality in the West
24:41 Spirituality as a bandaid vs a root cause solution (Zizek)
25:45 5. Isolation
27:03 The hyperindividualism crisis
28:00 We owe each other stuff
28:17 We want things from each other, and we should
28:23 Harlow’s monkey study on attachment
30:13 We’re living in our own worlds
31:28 So what DOES work?
31:57 Harvard happiness study
35:13 Challenge
36:19 Lightning round recap
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