If you’re in your 20s and thinking about getting a dog - this one’s for you. This past week has been insane. I was watching my best friend's dog this past week when he went into heart failure. It’s been the week from literal hell for her and it’s got me thinking about the dog you get in your 20s. Princess, my 12 yo sheppard,  means everything to me and I’m not ready to let her go. It seems like there is never quite enough time. The love, joy, and simplicity they bring is what makes this pain worth it. Your 20s is such a developmental time where friends, jobs, and cities all change. Your dog is your one constant,always there, always loving you. We can never truly thank them enough for the wet nose kisses, the soft fluffy hugs, or unconditional love they give.

At one point my average screen time was like 6 hours + but that ends now! I feel like my phone has been ruining my life. I would come from work, doom scroll to “decompress” and be left feeling shitter than before. Lately, I’ve been on a journey to spend my time differently. From listing out what I rather do than doom scroll to putting it into practice, I have got my screen time down to 3 ish hours. Although that's not perfect and certainly will change, I feel the benefits already. I’ve been way more creative, motivated to create content, and just overall in a better mood. It finally feels like my days are mine. So buckle in and I'll take you through the how, what, when, and whys so you can take back your days too :)

Ever felt like you’re not “creative” enough? Me too. This episode’s purpose is to prove you and me WRONG. You see everyone is creative, and you disagree you probably haven’t found your medium yet. I also feel like doom scrolling is killing my creative juices. So, I’ve set even stricter limits on my insta and tik tok. I am committed to spending more time exploring my creative outlets and less time overthinking how “uncreative” I am. Just as well, I’d like to share a journal prompt with you, “What have you created that feels like a representation of you?” Share your answers in the comments if you feel so inclined :)

A lot of us think about rowdy boys in grade school when we hear ADHD. Hell, we’ve barely studied anyone other than white males when it comes to ADHD and ADD. My experience has been a little bit different and getting diagnosed as an adult answers a lot of questions from my childhood. This episode is all about my lived experience having ADHD as well as trying medications that did not work for me. If you are curious please tune in, knowing all and well that everyone’s experience is different. If you need help with ADHD testing, behavioral therapy, or medication, reach out to your provider. Also, If you don’t have ADHD or ADD please refrain from minimizing your peer’s symptoms with comments like “oh, that’s not ADHD, everyone has that”. It’s not helpful!

I am working on my continuing education for my CPT and I am loving this cert. I’m taking the Size Inclusive Training module from ACE Fitness and the Be Body Positive Facilitator Training. These training programs pose such a good and controversial question; Is intentional weight loss problematic? Training programs like these are changing the way we think about fitness. By encouraging intuitive eating, intuitive movement, and living intuitively these programs are single handedly dismantling toxic gym culture. If you want help finding sustainable fitness that is in alignment with your body, reach out! I am definitely the trainer for you ;)

I’ve been struggling lately, and I feel like I’ve come to a conclusion that lowkey contradicts this episode…so that’ll probably be the next episode hahaha. For now, I’ve been in a rut. Just went through a break up, doom scrolling is at all time time, and overall feeling lost about my career. I saw a tik tok about a Mind Movie manifesting technique and I was intrigued. It's basically a vision board but in video format. It's all about envisioning what you want for your life and changing the way that you make decisions, spend your time, until you eventually are living the life of your dreams. I had a chat with my friend after this and she mentioned it may be unhelpful to think about yourself so much. I honestly agree, it feels like everyday I ponder where my life is going. So, although I do believe it's good to be selfish and take time to care for yourself, I also think it's a slippery slope into eternal self contemplation. So next week, we’re talking about how we can be of service to others because both are important and fulfilling!

I don’t really feel like recording today tbh. I just got back from a trip and I feel like the idea box is empty. So there it is, that’s my authenticity. I really do struggle to be myself on the internet, I feel like I talk about it a lot on here. So this video is more or less my fix for that issue. I’ve been challenging myself more and more to speak on things and make every video idea I think of. I never want to become click-baity or start doing things for views. But hey, maybe that’s why I’ve got 60 subscribers and not 600k.

Just got back from good ole’ Ohio. Going home is hard with poor family dynamics. Things are certainly different after my sibling went no contact - but honestly I cannot blame them. This trip was busy, indulgent, and triggering. It’s always good to get out of the LA bubble, but to be honest it serves as a reminder of why I left the midwest. In LA, it’s normal to not have a “stable job”, it’s normal to not be married by 35, or to be pursuing a niche passion. Ohio can be a little “go to college, get married, white picket fence” for me. Anyway, come for the trauma dump, stay for the witty humor ;)

What does 50/50 mean to you? What do men bring to the table? What do women bring to the table? If we lean into femininity and masculinity are we contributing to misogyny? I am expanding on my answers to these thought-provoking questions in this episode. We’re digging into financial load, mental load, and emotional load. I had a really good conversation with my boyfriend about this and I am dyinggggg to hear your thoughts. So please leave a comment and tell me what you think!!!

You heard me, CAPITALISM DOESN’T WANT YOU TO HAVE FRIENDS. What do I mean by that? I saw this Tik Tok about capitalism and community the other day and it really got me thinking. We are so ISOLATED as a community, but why? I saw another Tik Tok about people wanting a village but not wanting to be a villager. This got me thinking about how capitalism thrives off of us being disconnected from one another and teaches us to be selfish. They don't want us to have a friend take us to the airport or help us move. Capitalism tells us: You need to get an uber, you need to hire movers, you need to spend more money. As I sit in traffic on the 101 in Los Angeles, I look around and the first 50 cars I see have one person in them. An 8 minute drive turned into 35 minutes because 50 people are riding alone (myself included). It seems silly to me to think how we really normalized isolation and disincentived community building. In this episode, I’m exploring how problematic this is and sharing my solution.

How I stole my ex’s family dog, Princess. This is the story of how I ended up with Princess, our journey thus far, and where we are now. Princess was my ex’s childhood dog, they got her when he was only 12. She is a country dog who spent her puppy years roaming around open acres in rural Ohio. Now she’s a city gurl living her best life in Los Angeles. She is 12 years old now and we’ve come upon some health conditions including the heart and kidneys. It feels like such a heavy responsibility to give her end of life care. It’s difficult to grapple with her mortality, she’s been here for my entire adult life. I’m just trying to make sure she’s as comfortable as she can possibly be and so so so loved <3

I’ve lived in LA for 3 years now and it’s been a bumpy road, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. LA is a beast of it’s own, especially coming from the midwest. I’m giving you all the deets of my move to LA from Ohio. The value of a dollar, culture shock, and being the jack of all trades. The truth is, if you’re not coming with monies - you’re gonna struggle for a sec. That’s okay, if you’re committed to figuring it out, you will. So if you’re thinking of moving to LA or any big city - this one’s for you.

We’re going over my life plan from here onward. Except I don't really know what that is. I do feel closer to my purpose. I really want to destigmatize mental health issues, provide a safe space for emotions, and connect to other people who may struggle with similar things as I. I want to do this through the podcast. But the title is vulgar!! Do I need to change that? Do I need to *beep* out swear words? But I wanna move to NY and NOT be broke there. Buckle up, this episode is going nowhere, and fast!

I have another storytime for y'all. This man asked me for space a week before I moved in with him. Long-story-short I was in a rocky roommate situation and needed to move out immediately. I exercised all of my options, even reached out to my ex. I know I know stfu. So I asked one of my guy friends if I could move in temporarily, while I figured something else out and ended up staying 4 months. In this episode, I’m giving you all the tea on this insane housing situation, which is thankfully now over.

If you relate to this video, I’m so sorry. Unfortunately, it’s a tale as old as time. A woman rejects a man and he loses his goddamn mind. This is the story of a guy who I was talking to who could not deal with me leaving. As of this recording, he is still calling me on No Caller ID. If you’ve dealt with stalking, unfortunately I’m right there with you. When that No Caller ID pops up, my heart sinks through my ass. The reality is, men are dangerous, violent creatures and you can never be too cautious. I’m so grateful my stalker doesn’t know where I live but that doesn't dismiss the uneasy, anxious feeling I get when his name comes up. Please do not stay silent if this is something you’re experiencing. Tell a few close friends and people you trust. 

Why don’t I take male clients anymore? In short, we just don’t ~vibe~ like that. Today we’re addressing subtle misogyny and what it means to be a woman in a male dominated space. My gym has removed three male members on my behalf and I’m explaining why in this episode. I’m sharing my personal experience as a female trainer and how that has affected my clientele. Misogyny is so deeply embedded in our society it’s easy to overlook. Oftentimes, as women, if we call it out we are labeled as dramatic and crazy. This week, I’m thinking about how I can better support other women in my community.

Have I completely forgiven my mom for her mistreatment? No. But listen, I’m trying. Today we’re talking about how yoga has tremendously helped my mental health. It has calmed my inner self, regulated my nervous system, and has connected me to myself. I’ve gone through phases with my mom. When I was younger it was anger/denial and we would fight every damn day. I was determined to get her to see my perspective. Well, she never did and when I went to college it turned into sad/grieving. I felt like I had played a role in our poor relationship and I questioned why she didn’t value/prioritize me. After college, I realized I don’t want to be angry or sad anymore, I want peace. I want to forgive, not for her, but for me. Through this chapter of forgiveness, I’ve learned there are no good or bad people. Simply put, there are just people. I don’t want to villainize her and victimize myself. I want to have strong boundaries, control what I can, and let go of the rest.

We’re getting into the thick of it with mommy issues, going no-contact, and EMDR therapy. Long story-short I’ve had a poor relationship with my mom my whole life. Now, my sibling is going no contact and I’m trying to figure out - what does this mean for me? I know that my mom’s issues with me are a reflection of her own unhealed trauma, but how do I tell my younger self? Because she is still hurting. I’ve started EMDR therapy recently in an attempt to dig up the past and move through those difficult emotions. People are entirely complex and multifaceted. It’s possible my mom was doing her best and simultaneously - it wasn’t enough.

HOT DAMN, life has been kicking the shit outta me since season 2. I have gone through 2 cars, moved from 3 different apartments, and been diagnosed with ADHD - all since January. I’ve been having difficulty with focus and attention since I was a kid. It’s been affecting me more this year than ever before. I’ve been letting my passions fall to the wayside to make room for the current chaos of my life - but I’m done. Life is always gonna throw a wrench in my plans and I don’t wanna let it control my life anymore. I’m taking the power back. This episode is an introduction to season three, an attempt to have blind faith that things will work out, and actively denying the chaos of my life the ability to distract me from my shit.

Ughhh wtf am I doing with my life?? Throwback to the very first episode. I’ve been overwhelmed with anxiety of the future since I ever realized I had a future. We’re talking about making decisions, detaching from outcomes, and having faith that it will all workout. There are really no wrong choices, as long as you’re doing what you believe is best for you. We’re going over my goals and future career and trying to get a better understanding of what I want, because this shit is hard :///