A married woman in a poly relationship is planning to visit a boyfriend who lives in a different city for a month. But since they made these plans, she started seeing yet another man. Should she tell the guy she plans to visit about the new guy? Should she do it before the trip so he can pull the rip cord if he needs to? Can you peg your dom? She is a switch, so she knows both sides of the dom/sub dynamic. Her dom wants her to peg him, but she worries she'll slip into dom mode. Dan coaches her on how to stay submissive in her head. Our guest this week is Jeremy Alder. The former fundamentalist Christian pastor made a U-turn and became a comedian instead. Their loss is our gain- Alder is dryly funny, sweet and bold in the face unkind, hypocritical Christianity. He and Dan talk about the disaster of homeschooling, buying guns for loved ones, and having a slutty phase after leaving the church. And, a gay man has been getting together with a guy for 10 years in a casual, friends-with-benefits style arrangement. Nobody in his life knows about this relationship. But after 10 years, the guy is suddenly not responding to any of the caller's texts. Is this a cruel, cowardly break-up? Or much worse? Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp.com: Making professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient – so anyone who struggles with life’s challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. For 10% your first month, go to Betterhelp.com/savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, psychic cartographer, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From rosebudding, to watersports, hankie codes to harnesses and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity for a long, long time.

A man in Nashville keeps having great dates, but then they reject him afterwards. Is it because he's a liberal Jew? A woman is in a new, fun, casual relationship, just like she wanted. But he will be moving away in a few months, so there's a clear end date. How can they enjoy themselves knowing the end is nigh? On the Magnum, put on your pink glasses...it's Randy Rainbow! Rainbow's political, musical theater-based parodies are what the world needs now, more than ever. He and Dan talk about his children's book ("Randy Rainbow and the Marvelously Magical Pink Glasses,") as well as being Randy Rainbow in a world full of haters, the special relationship between gay men and their grandmothers and how to have noisy sex without infuriating your uptight neighbor. This interview basically kicks off gay pride this year, so it's required listening. And, a woman and her husband are going to try a sex party for the first time. Besides all the conversations around expectations and boundaries, she wants to know: What are the fashion do's and fashion don'ts? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 Subscribe to Magnum⁠ for the full interviews, chats with Dan, and more! This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Skims Men- find super comfortable, super sexy underwear, socks, t-shirts leggings and more at Skims.com. This episode is brought to you by OneSkin, the world’s first skin longevity company. Keep your skin looking and acting younger for longer with OneSkin’s topical supplements. Get 15% off at OneSkin.co with code LOVECAST. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, trickster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From pegging to polyamory, BDSM to abstinence and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

A man in a queer group chat saw that folks were talking about going to a bathhouse in their city for the first time. The caller explained what goes on there, how consent can be slushy, and trans men might not feel welcome. This shut down the conversation. Was he wrong to tell it like it is? A divorced woman with a 4 year old daughter is friendly with her ex-husband but not close. Her daughter is asking why mommy and daddy are not married and don't live together. She's never explained divorce to her daughter. How can she phrase it? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan speaks with Katie Simon, sexuality journalist and the author of the upcoming book Tell Me What You Like: An Honest Discussion of Sex and Intimacy After Sexual Assault. They discuss how survivors take many varied paths to healing including for some, going through a "slut phase." For anyone going through recovery from sexual trauma, or supporting someone who is, Simon's book is required reading, and this convo is a great place to start. And a gay, pre-op trans man has a troubling pattern. He can't have anal sex because of health issues, so penetrative sex for him involves his vagina. He gets together with gay men, explains his situation and his biology explicitly. But afterwards, his lovers flip out and reject him because they no longer feel like "gold star" gays. The experience is shredding. How can he find men who will work for him? Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 Subscribe to Magnum for the full interviews, chats with Dan, and more! This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide plus, a FREE Bedding Bundle- that’s, a Sheet Set, and Mattress Protector- with any Luxe or Elite mattress order. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial plus 25% off an annual subscription when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Beam’s Dream Cocoa Powder- packed with all-natural ingredients to help improve sleep. For a limited time, Beam is offering my listeners up to 40% off. Go to shopbeam.com/SAVAGE and use code SAVAGE at checkout. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, news junkie, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From apps to abstinence, unicorns to underpants and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

HA man briefly dated a guy who only bottoms, and collects a variety of giant dildos. The caller worries that his natural size would never satisfy a man like this, and wonders if this is just the standard psychology of power bottoms. A straight woman tends to be attracted to gay and bisexual men, though she's never dated one. She would be interested in dating a bi man, but she requires monogamy, and worries that precious few bi men would be able to commit to her. Is it reasonable to ask a bi man to forgo wieners to be with her? For our guest this week, we are thoroughly chuffed to welcome Christine Wenc to the show. Wenc is the author of the new book "Funny Because It's True: How The Onion Created Modern American News Satire." Wenc was a member of The Onion’s original staff. She was also one of the first editors of The Stranger in Seattle where Dan got his start. The two talk about the Onion's history, how it influenced both mainstream journalism and comedy, fake news, and she and Dan reminisce about the old days. She also answers a couple of sex questions, and issues this important PSA: "The clitoris is much more than just a little button."- NOT fake news. A queer woman presents as masc, and non-binary folks recognize her as one of their own. But she's attracted to dudes. Should she alter her look to turn that male gaze in her direction? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. This episode is sponsored by the iRestore Professional, for regrowing hair using light therapy. For a limited time, get a HUGE discount on the iRestore Professional when you use code Savage at iRestore.com Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, town crier, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From infidelity, to iglooing, gay rights to icy Mikes and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

Oh boy! A threesome might be brewing! A woman just connected with a hot guy through an app. He has another woman he sees, and the three of them plan to get together. But the caller is convinced that the other two are way more attractive than she is, and she worries she'll feel insecure and inadequate. How can she get over this stinkin' thinkin'? A woman has been in a casual friends-with-benefits relationship. The sex is fantastic. But then he started showing up less and less, and she discovered he gave her an STI. He feels terrible about it, so he's backing away. But she still wants his succulent D! Should she ask him to keep the "benefits" coming, or has she just been friend-zoned? Yes, being friend-zoned is tough stuff, but have you ever been unjustly incarcerated for 4 years in an Italian jail? No? This week's guest Amanda Knox has, and she offers her perspective on relationship problems with humor and grace. She and Dan talk about her prison hustle- how she got by in such hellish conditions, the value of awkwardness, and how to protect yourself when new relationship energy clouds your thinking. Amanda's new book "Free: My Search for Meaning" is out now, and highly recommended. And, a woman has stocked up on abortion medication in case her kids or kids' friend ever need it. But does it expire? Should she find a way to give her MnMs to someone else? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of pillows, shapes and furniture for new exciting sex. Go to Liberator.com/Savage or type “Savage” into the search bar for private VIP access to deals that are too good to announce on this podcast! Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at BetterHelp.com/SAVAGE and get on your way to being your best self. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, shaman, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From poppers to MnMs, slut-shaming to SSRIs and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since 1972.

Ooh la la! A young Canadian woman has been living in a European city, making friends and... having group sex. She doesn't speak their language- her friends are usually accommodating and speak English around her. But sometimes when the gang is banging, they revert to their native tongue and she feels left out. Should she let it slide, or let her lovers know she needs dirty talk translation? A woman with high libido has always been monogamous...until now. She reconnected with an old friend who confessed that he had a crush on her. He is in a poly relationship, and has also created a harem of women who he considers his "sluts." Should she let herself be recruited? It sounds hot to her, but a more traditional voice in her head warns her off. On the Magnum, it's the nightmare scenario: A woman's 11 year-old son snooped on her phone and found a cache sex pics starring his mother. Dan brings on Dr. Debby Herbenick, author of "Yes Your Kid" to talk about how and when to get a good conversation going with your kids about sex and privacy. And, it's time for an After Action Report! Andrew and his husband tried going to a jack shack for the first time together. Hear all about it. Have you tried something new recently? Was it great? Was it terrible? Just meh? Super-weird? Send us an email (with the subject line: After Action Report,) and we might contact you to be on the show. Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, healer, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From slut harems, to monogamy, womens rights to parenting and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

My what a busy friend! While a woman and her boyfriend were going through a painful, temporary separation, she confided in and was consoled by a male, bi friend of hers. He helped her through the difficult time. But he was also propositioning her ex-boyfriend at the same, damn time! Now that she is back together with her boyfriend, can she trust this friend again? A woman gives a compelling defense of faking orgasms. Will Dan Savage accept it? On the Magnum, Dan welcomes back the thoroughly delightful comedian Zach Zimmerman. They discuss the word "daddy." Is it an honorific that one hurls at another? Or a pre-negotiated, agreed upon role? They also talk about anger in comedy, and the real meaning of tolerance. Zach's comedy special SURPRISE ME debuts on April 22. And, a woman is dating a new guy after ending her old relationship. She is still struggling with the break-up, but she isn’t sure how much to reveal to her new guy about this. When he asks “How are you doing?” should she be honest about missing her ex? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now, get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage Unlock your best skin with iRestore. For a limited time, our listeners will enjoy HUGE savings on the iRestore Illumina Face Mask with code Savage at iRestore.com. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, neologism generator and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From pegging, to tolyamory, GGG to santorum and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since Columbo was on TV.

A chill married lesbian is a little annoyed to hear that her consistently straight friend, engaged to a man, has announced that she is pan. She is pan, but she plans to remain monogamous with her husband. What's more, she is throwing herself a coming-out-as-pan party. When the caller came out as lesbian, she got kicked out of the house. Is she an asshole to feel less than exhilarated by her friend's new sexual identity? Yikes! Hear the unpleasant tale of the woman who shut her boyfriend's son's dogs in a room for so long, that they did what dogs do when shut in a room all day. Oh, and as she was cleaning the mess, she saw that the 20 year-old son had a sex toy. On the Magnum, should you be stockpiling poppers? Dan brings on our favorite poppers expert, Adam Zmith, author of Deep Sniff: A History of Poppers and Queer Futures. He explains why gay men use them, a bit of their history, and what to do now that they're in the crosshairs of JFK Jr's FDA. A submissive woman mistakes the swoony feelings she experiences during sub space, for genuine emotional connection. But she doesn't want emotional connection. She just wants to have some tied-up fun. How can she stop her heart from getting all hot and bothered? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, father, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From poppers, to parenting, kissing to ghosting and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since days of old when magic ruled the air.

A gay man and his boyfriend are in an open relationship. His boyfriend forbids the caller from messing around with anyone in their friend group. But this friend group is super-kinky and super-horny, regularly propositioning the caller for naughty fun. It's getting hard to say no... A trans guy still has "female" on his birth certificate. He wonders if it's too dangerous to try to get it changed at this perilous moment, and also if he should be stockpiling testosterone. Dan brings on Diana Adams- the Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, to discuss strategy for trans folks. On the Magnum, a promising study just came out about a possible risk reduction for bacterial vaginosis that treats...wait for it...men! Dr. Jen Gunter, an OB/GYN and expert in vulvovaginal conditions is on to talk about this study- a tiny bit of optimism for women's health. A man just got dumped by his new girlfriend. Why? Because he invited her to the Hump! Film Festival. Sounds like he dodged a bullet... Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of pillows, shapes and furniture for new exciting sex. Go to Liberator.com/Savage or type “Savage” into the search bar for private VIP access to deals that are too good to announce on this podcast! Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Dame Products, Sex toys designed by Women, For Women. For 20% off your first order, go to Dame.com and use offer code SAVAGE20 Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, lover, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From trans rights, to BDSM, feminism to polyamory and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the Fonz jumped that shark.

A woman has made a new exciting friend! But this friend ditches her other friends and treats them as disposable. Is the caller next? Here's the kind of pragmatic question and answer you've come to expect from the Savage Lovecast: Is it safe to douche with non-potable water? On the Magnum, folks have been asking for a menopause expert for a while now, and we've got her. Dr. Stacy De-Lin has been a proud member of the Planned Parenthood team since 2013. She gives us the basics on peri-menopause, menopause, and how to mitigate the negatives. Women have been chronically under-treated, and there are medications that can help. And, a man living in New Zealand is dating a guy in an open, long-distance relationship. The boyfriend lives in a repressive country where he can't safely be out. The caller enjoys their low stakes, open relationship, but wonders if he should invite him to live together in New Zealand to help him to get a visa and escape. Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From omni-amory, to monogamy, kink to asexuality, and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since disco made it's debut.

A man chanced upon his wife's journals when he was cleaning the closets. He simply couldn't help himself. He read some of them, and learned about her erotic desires in a way he hadn't known before. It made him fall in love with her all over again. But now what? Should he tell her what he did? Blindfold magic! A woman had a transcendent experience when her boyfriend blindfolded her and then...removed the blindfold. There he was! And he was suddenly more beautiful than ever. On the Magnum, Dan welcomes writer, and actor Jeffery Self. What do two introverted, homosexual men have to talk about? Plenty, it turns out! Self's new memoir is deeply personal and fearless. He and Dan chat about the pros and cons of male sex work, why straight men are so jealous of gay men, and the deep dread the words "gay cruise" inspire in them both. Also, they take a call from a woman whose boyfriend is unaware of how stinky his balls are. So you don't want to miss that. And, a woman's boyfriend is wracked with guilt when she gives him deep, gag-inducing blowjobs. She loves it, but he can't get over the misogynist associations. Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dame Products, Sex toys designed by Women, For Women. For 20% off your first order, go to Dame.com and use offer code SAVAGE20 This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/SAVAGE and get on your way to being your best self. This episode is brought to you by Beam’s Dream Cocoa Powder- packed with all-natural ingredients to help improve sleep. For a limited time, Beam is offering my listeners up to 40% off. Go to shopbeam.com/SAVAGE and use code SAVAGE at checkout. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

Squarespace This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Helix Sleep This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  Feeld This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From throuples, to adult babies, women's rights to tantric sex and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the Kennedy administration.

A woman is seeing a guy who only grudgingly goes down south. Sex for them always begins with her giving him a BJ, but because they have a Dom/sub dynamic, he feels he doesn't owe her anything. Here's a fun word scramble game that astute Savage Lovecast listeners can play! Unscramble these letters to form the acronym that will give the caller clear direction on what to do: TMAFD A man is curious, confused, and bewildered about what lesbians mean when they say they have sex.  On the Magnum, Dan's been talking about bisexual men quite a bit on the show. Are they the luckiest bastards ever, or do they have a rough row to hoe? For this very special "What Are You Doing?" segment, Dan brings on Sam Lent who self-identifies as "A shameless woman who seeks bi men to fuck." How does she search for them? How do bi and straight men differ? And why are the men of Denver so very into pegging? Sam thinks bi men are a national treasure, and we think Sam is pretty awesome.  A woman's pal has an OnlyFans account. Sometimes this friend stays overnight at the caller's house. The caller saw that her buddy had filmed a session from her house and put it up as content without consulting the caller first. Is it prudish to feel like her home is off-limits? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now, get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Dame Products, Sex toys designed by Women, For Women. For 20% off your first order, go to Dame.com and use offer code SAVAGE20 Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project.From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

Age gap relationships! Sometimes they are a-ok. Sometimes they are not. A woman is having an argument with her boyfriend about whether his previous relationship was dicey because of the 9-year age difference. She dated a younger person too, but the circumstances were different. Dan Savage (who knows from age gap relationships) weighs in. A man in a throuple with two ladies can't sleep because their bed gets too toasty at night. Somebody call 911!  On the Magnum, we welcome back sex & culture writer Magdalene Taylor to talk about gooning, and the gooners who goon all day long. (Gooning is obsessive porn use.) She and Dan talk about conspiracy theories around keeping young men on their phones and disgruntled. And, she and Dan discuss a call from a woman who wants to make sure her NEXT boyfriend wants to have as much sex as she does.  A gay man was in a casual relationship for 9 months. His hook-up wouldn't ever host because he said he had a "roommate." Guess what! That roommate was actually his husband. Now that the caller is over the burn of being lied to, he's considering letting the sessions continue because the sex is so good. Should he?  Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Adam & Eve. Right now, go to AdamAndEve.com/Savage and pick any 4 sex toys for just $20! This is such a great deal- go to AdamandEve.com/savage without delay Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From adult babies, to thruples, trans rights to pansexuality and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

A woman's 74 year-old father has started dating a 19 year-old woman, and no one in her family besides her is batting an eye. She is horrified and refuses to meet the lass or speak to her father until the relationship ends. Is she being too harsh?  A British poly man has an American girlfriend who comes to visit now and again. She asked him to take her to a sex party, but there's a hitch. She screams to kingdom come during sex. The caller is worried that his more reserved British sex party compatriots will find her conduct unseemly.  On the Magnum, Dan simply couldn't resist bringing on Sunshyne for a "What Are You Doing?" Sunshyne is a shaggy haired, muppet-faced adonis! He models for multi-national corporations AND has a fin-dom hustle on the side. He and Dan talk about his work, how he got there, and whether women or men give better head.  A gay man and his boyfriend do not agree about sex. His boyfriend wants monogamy and routine, unadventurous sex. The caller yearns for more sex, and more variety. His boyfriend reluctantly agreed to let him see other people, but only if he uses a condom and tells him every time. But when he does tell, his boyfriend freaks out. So the caller has been sneaking around, seeing sex workers, without using condoms. How can they reconcile?  Spoiler! They probably can't.  Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dame Products, Sex toys designed by Women, For Women. For 20% off your first order, go to Dame.com and use offer code SAVAGE20 This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now, get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From sex parties, to pegging, gay rights to monogamy and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

Pages and pages of escort ads. That's what she found on her boyfriend's phone when she was looking for concert tickets. He insisted he wasn't actually contacting anybody, but was using them for his spank bank. Should she believe him? Is this a problem?  A man recently come out as bi, and has a boyfriend in an open relationship. He sees all the gay orgies that are available to him, but wants to get in on some straight sex party action. Where can he find them? How do they work? Hello?  On the Magnum, we welcome back fellow advice-slinger Meredith Goldstein of the "Love Letters" advice column and podcast. They talk about how to keep your cool when in the throws of new relationship energy, a mistreated unicorn, and whether choosing a girlfriend based on her anatomy makes you a superficial jerk or not.  A woman has found a fascinating new partner. He had a spontaneous full-body orgasm at the cafe on their first date. Then, when she bedded him down, she saw that his genitals feature a deeply concave area that gives him a lot of pleasure. She's having a blast! But what's up with him?  Q@Savage.Love.   206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From unicorns, to monogamy, womens rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

A married gay man is newly poly with his husband and boyfriend. Simple question: Who should he celebrate Valentine's Day with?  A non-binary AFAB person frequents a sex club where women pay much less than men or couples. And there's a dress code...men must be naked, and women must wear lingerie. The caller wears the damn lingerie to snag the discount and to get access to men. But they don't want to be addressed as female in dirty talk or recognized as female in any way. Discuss. On the Magnum, Dan brings back his old college sweetheart, Mike Pesca of The Gist, Not Even Mad, and his new comedy show Funny You Should Mention. Pesca has been covering politics (and sports) for a long time and these two have chemistry! They talked about having sex with Trumpers vs. maintaining familial relations with Maga folk, hot footballmen, and eliminating the penny. And butt sex.  A woman ended things with a guy she had been seeing for a couple of months, because he felt swoony and she felt "meh." But as time passed, she thinks about him more and more. One year later, she's considering reaching out to him again. Will this just break his heart again?  Q@Savage.Love   206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. This episode is brought to you by Dame Products, Sex toys designed by Women, For Women. For 20% off your first order, go to Dame.com and use offer code SAVAGE20 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site-wide with a mattress order + 2 FREE Dream Pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to bondage, trans rights to sex education and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

A straight man was accidentally paired with a trans man on a hookup app. When the trans man found out his match was a straight dude, he tapped out. But that got the caller thinking...should he hunt for pre-op trans men in the hopes of connecting with people still had their female parts? Any problems here?  On the Micro and Magnum it's a sneak peek of this week's Sex & Politics with political analyst Tim Miller. He and Dan took a call from a straight man who has recently discovered the kind of pleasure his own arse can give him, and his enthusiasm cannot be contained.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with writer Manuel Betancourt, about hooking up with strangers. His book "Hello Stranger: Musings on Modern Intimacies" goes into gay romance, and the allure of chance encounters. He and Dan talk about how "threelationships" can sneak up on you, how the gays (once again) pave the way for honest communication in open relationships, and the WAR between monogamous and polyamorous folk.  And, a woman is seeing a trans man on the weekends once per month. She heard through the grapevine that he was planning to get bottom surgery. The caller isn't interested in a penis of any kind. Should she say something?   Q@Savage.Love       206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off site-wide with a mattress order + 2 FREE Dream Pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From open relationships to BDSM, trans rights to polyamory and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

A straight man worries that his one-on-one OnlyFans interactions are a form of infidelity.  A divorced man is out dating and learning about tantra. A couple of women he's seen were both mothers, and although he found them attractive and his dick got hard, he couldn't come with either of them. They both blamed themselves for having changed postpartum bodies. Who is the culprit- the ladies or his dick?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with cultural historian Kelly Coyne about off-kilter domestic arrangements- married couples who live apart, stay at home dads, and married couples who sleep apart. (Spoiler: it's the snoring!) As usual, straight folks have a lot to learn from gay arrangements.  And, a woman used to pin her orgasms on cuckold fantasies. But ever since she got into poly relationships, and the thought of her partner sleeping with other women was no longer taboo, her fantasies fail to get her there. How can she rewire her erotic inner life and start to come again? This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of pillows, shapes and furniture for new exciting sex. They’re offering an additional 10% off site-wide; exclusively for our listeners! Go to Liberator.com, and use promo code ‘SAVAGE.’ Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From cuckolding, to bisexuality, jealousy to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

A gay man is mourning the loss of his hair. He shaved it all off, but doesn't like the new look. Are there any other options? How can he learn to love the new bald version of himself?  "Big poly mess in aisle 4!" She started seeing a married man who was new to poly. He has a kid, and mere months in, the caller formed a bond with the child. Then he went and fell in love with yet another woman. His wife is divorcing him, but the caller remains friendly with his wife. Can she continue to see the kid?  Dan chats with sex educator Claire Perelman about how to maintain your libido for the next 4 years. On the Magnum, it's a new "What Are you Doing?" with Doc Chocolate. He is a former pastor turned porn star and the host of the BULLS & QUEENS show. Doc Chocolate can make all your cuckold fantasies come true. He is also very clever and funny.  The caller is aunt to a 23 year-old trans woman. But the niece's dad (the caller's brother) refuses to accept that she is trans, and uses the wrong pronouns and her old name. How can the caller help to bring him around? Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off site-wide with a mattress order + 2 FREE Dream Pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From cuckolding, to Dom/sub, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.