Out Late With David

https://is1-ssl.mzstatic.com/image/thumb/Podcasts116/v4/13/24/cc/1324ccce-c135-f0f0-e5c0-e51447f87445/mza_13404429731646201732.jpg/600x600bb.jpg

Out Late With David

David Cotton

28 episodes

1 month ago

I'm a life coach who came out later in life as gay. Join me as I talk with others who’ve made this LGBTQ+ coming out journey later in their lives to become who they really are.

Reach out to me for a complimentary coaching consultation if you have challenges in your life you'd like to explore.

https://calendly.com/davidcotton/complimentary-coaching-consultation-zoom-phone

David Cotton
https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com
https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

All content for Out Late With David is the property of David Cotton and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.

Episodes (20/28)

Out Late With David

Kevin O'Connor - out at 55 after two marriages

Summary

Kevin O'Connor shares his profound journey of self-discovery, coming out at 55 after two marriages and raising children. He reflects on his childhood experiences, the struggles of acceptance, and the complexities of navigating relationships. Through candid discussions, he reveals the challenges of living authentically and the joy of finding love with his husband after years of hiding his true self. Kevin emphasizes the importance of embracing one's identity and the lessons learned throughout his life.

Keywords

coming out, LGBTQ, self-acceptance, relationships, marriage, personal journey, authenticity, love, family, memoir

Takeaways

Kevin came out at 55 after two marriages.
He struggled with acceptance from a young age.
His childhood experiences shaped his understanding of identity.
Navigating relationships was complex due to his hidden sexuality.
He found love with his husband after years of self-discovery.
Kevin emphasizes the importance of authenticity in life.
He reflects on the challenges of being a gay educator.
His journey highlights the significance of family support.
Kevin's story serves as an inspiration for others in similar situations.
He believes in the power of sharing one's story to help others.

Chapters

00:00 Kevin O'Connor's Journey of Self-Discovery
02:56 Navigating Early Life and Identity
05:34 College Experiences and Hidden Truths
08:02 Marriage and the Struggle with Identity
10:19 The Complexity of Relationships
11:29 Fatherhood and Compartmentalization
14:11 The Breaking Point of Authenticity
20:41 Embracing Authenticity: The Journey of Coming Out
24:11 Finding Love: The Role of Timing and Connection
29:40 Family Dynamics: Coming Out to Loved Ones
32:46 Reflections on Life: Lessons Learned and Moving Forward
37:05 Closing

Book Recommendation:

Journey Out: Memoirs of men coming to grips with their orientation, by Gene Probasco

https://a.co/d/b2y78Bt

Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/IYLGA_lLYGs

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com
https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com
https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com
Show more...

1 month ago

37 minutes

Out Late With David

Bill Schroeder - Living Authentically at 60

Summary

In this episode of Out Late with David, Bill Schroeder shares his transformative journey of coming out as a gay man at the age of 60 after 37 years of marriage. He reflects on the feelings of fear and authenticity that led him to finally embrace his true self. Bill discusses the emotional challenges he faced, the reactions of his family, and the importance of self-discovery. He emphasizes that it's never too late to live authentically and offers advice for others who may be struggling with their identity. Keywords coming out, LGBTQ, authenticity, self-discovery, family dynamics, life coaching, personal growth, emotional journey, gay men, late life coming out

Takeaways

Turning 60 was a pivotal moment for Bill.
He felt his life was fake before coming out.
Fear of losing family and friends kept him in the closet.
Bill's camping trip was a time for deep reflection.
His ex-wife's support was crucial for his journey.
Family reactions varied, with his daughter initially upset.
Bill's son took time to accept his father's new identity.
He found a sense of belonging in the LGBTQ community.
Authenticity has brought him peace and happiness.
Bill encourages others to take baby steps in their journey.

Sound Bites

"I wanted to feel more authentic."
"I could have done this 10 years ago."
"Fear kept me in the closet for years."

Chapters
00:00 A Turning Point at 60
12:40 The Journey of Coming Out
19:55 Authenticity and Self-Discovery
22:09 Advice for Others in the Closet

Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/9TEPfX13JB8

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com
https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com
https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com https://linktr.ee/davidacotton

© 2025 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved. The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized...

3 months ago

26 minutes

Out Late With David

Kami Hunley-Jackson - Faith, Family & Findings: The Complex Journey of Coming Out

Summary

In this conversation with David, LGBTQ+ ally and researcher Kami Hunley-Jackson, who shares her personal journey and research on the coming out process, particularly focusing on the experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals and their families. The former Latter Day Saint is the mother of two LGBTQ+ children and sister to her gay brother. She discusses the challenges faced by families, the impact of religion, and the importance of communication and support systems. Kami emphasizes the need for understanding and acceptance, both for those coming out and their loved ones, and highlights the mental health implications of the coming out journey. The conversation also touches on the evolving nature of religious acceptance and the importance of creating safe spaces for dialogue. Keywords coming out, LGBTQ+, acceptance, mental health, family support, religion, communication, research, personal stories, allyship

Takeaways

Kami's personal experiences with her children and brother shaped her understanding of the coming out process.
The decision between religious beliefs and family acceptance can be a painful conflict for parents.
Supportive communities, like Mama Dragons, provide essential resources for families of LGBTQ+ individuals.
The theater community often offers a more accepting environment for LGBTQ+ individuals.
Kami's research revealed that non-religious individuals tend to communicate better during the coming out process.
Mental health issues, including suicidal ideation, were prevalent among the study participants.
Self-acceptance is a crucial step in the coming out journey, often requiring individuals to confront their identity.
The coming out process is deeply personal and should be respected as such by family members.
Creating a safe space for communication is vital for both the individual coming out and their loved ones.
Religious institutions are evolving, with some becoming more inclusive of LGBTQ+ individuals.

Sound Bites

"I realized that I needed to search my own heart."
"The love of a mother over the situation."
"I acted differently this time around."

Audio Chapters

00:00 Understanding the Importance of Coming Out
02:36 Personal Journeys: Family and Acceptance 05:25 The Role of Religion in Coming Out
08:35 Research Insights: Communication and Relationships
11:13 Mental Health and the Coming Out Process
14:05 Support Systems and Resources
16:48 Advice for Families and Individuals
19:51 Looking Ahead: Future Research Directions

Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/jCsPAB9C2aM

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact David:

mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com
Show more...

4 months ago

29 minutes

Out Late With David

Wendy Cole - "Gender is Between the Ears, and Not the Legs"

Summary

At age 67, Wendy Cole transitioned from male to female after a lifetime of hiding her true identity. In this candid conversation, Wendy shares the emotional cost of repression, her turning point in 2014, and how she found joy, health, and purpose by finally embracing who she is. Now a mentor and advocate, Wendy is helping others navigate their own gender journeys and working to humanize what it means to be transgender.

Keywords

transgender, coming out, identity, support, mental health, community, authenticity, transition, LGBTQ+, personal growth

Takeaways

Wendy transitioned male to female at age 67.
She felt a lifelong sense of not belonging.
Gender identity is formed in the brain during the second trimester.
Wendy faced significant societal and familial pressure to conform.
She repressed her identity for decades due to fear and shame.
The DSM's classification of LGBTQ+ identities has evolved over time.
Wendy found support and community later in life.
She emphasizes the importance of living authentically.
Wendy's mission is to educate others about transgender experiences.
It's never too late to pursue one's true identity.

Sound Bites

"I was punished for breaking my glasses."
"I was taken to a psychiatrist."
"I was threatened with being committed."
"I couldn't take it anymore."
"I was doing this out of survival."
"I was pretty much on my own."
"I was going to do this for me."
"It's never too late to take charge."

Audio Chapters

00:00 Wendy's Journey of Self-Discovery
11:58 The Struggles of Repression and Acceptance
22:15 Transitioning and Finding Community
32:29 Living Authentically and Educating Others

More About Wendy Cole:

http://meetwendycole.com/
https://wendycolegtm.net/category/podcasts/
Demystifying the Transgender Journey Podcast: https://wendycolegtm.net/episode-001-demystifying-this-podcast/

Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/eU5v97dHNIs

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact David:

mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com
https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com
Show more...

4 months ago

43 minutes

Out Late With David

BONUS - Navigating the Journey of Coming Out with hosts of the Out Loud podcast, Jon and Brian

Thank you to Jon & Brian of Out Loud for allowing me to publish this episode from their podcast. You guys are fantastic! I've been a fan since I first discovered you on YouTube! Keep living your life, OUT LOUD!!

Out Loud Podcast with Jon and Brian:

Summary

In this episode of Out Late With David, David Cotton is a guest on the podcast, Out Loud, while visiting Key West FL. Along with the hosts of Out Loud, Jon and Brian, they discuss the complexities of coming out later in life, the importance of community support, and the dynamics of relationships, especially for older gay men. He shares insights from his experiences and those of his guests, emphasizing the need for authenticity, compassion, and understanding in navigating personal journeys and family dynamics. The conversation also touches on the challenges faced by older men in the dating world and offers advice on how to approach relationships with clarity and openness.

Keywords

coming out, LGBTQ, age gap relationships, gay community, life coaching, support, authenticity, family dynamics, relationships, self-discovery

Takeaways

Coming out later in life can be a complex journey.
Community support is crucial for those coming out.
Navigating family dynamics requires patience and understanding.
Authenticity is key to living a fulfilling life.
Older men face unique challenges in dating.
It's important to communicate clearly in relationships.
Self-acceptance is a vital part of the coming out process.
Compartmentalization can hinder personal growth.
You can maintain relationships even after coming out.
Love can be found unexpectedly, regardless of age.

Sound Bites

"Don't rush into coming out."
"I couldn't continue living a lie."
"You have to accept who you are."
"I feel transparent many times."

Audio Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Out Late with David
01:06 Coming Out Later in Life
04:05 The Role of Community and Support
07:54 Navigating Relationships and Family Dynamics
12:09 The Impact of Age and Experience
15:54 Living Authentically and Finding Peace
18:45 Advice for Older Men in Dating

Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/YOGFb9CWCjw

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com
https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com
Show more...

4 months ago

22 minutes

Out Late With David

Wayne Scott - Redefining Marriage: A Journey Through Non-Monogamy

Summary

In this conversation, Wayne Scott shares his journey through a mixed orientation marriage, detailing the challenges and transformations he and his wife faced. They navigated the complexities of identity, love, and commitment, ultimately redefining their relationship through non-monogamy. Wayne emphasizes the importance of communication, patience, and the willingness to adapt as individuals grow over time. His story serves as a testament to the possibility of creating a fulfilling partnership that honors both personal and shared desires.

Keywords

mixed orientation marriage, non-monogamy, relationships, LGBTQ+, marriage advice, communication, love story, personal growth, therapy, bisexuality, coming out, LGBTQ+

Takeaways

Mixed orientation marriages can thrive without ending in divorce.
Communication is key in navigating relationship challenges.
Non-monogamy can be a viable option for some couples.
Patience is essential when exploring new relationship dynamics.
It's important to redefine what marriage means to you.
Love can persist through difficult transitions in a relationship.
Couples can create their own rules for their relationship.
Support from a therapist can facilitate difficult conversations.
Children can adapt to their parents' non-traditional relationships.
Personal growth is a continuous journey within a marriage.

Sound Bites

"It doesn't always end in divorce."
"A new idea turned his marriage into a love story."
"Your marriage can be whatever you want it to be."
"It's okay to take a couple years to figure it out."
"It can be whatever you want it to be."
"They chose to break the rules and norms of society."

Audio Chapters

00:00 Navigating Mixed Orientation Marriages
09:50 The Shift to Non-Monogamy
20:01 Lessons Learned from Non-Traditional Relationships

Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/wHFdiTkYoYk

YouTube Channel:   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com

© 2025 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved. The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

7 months ago

31 minutes

Out Late With David

Stefan Schneider - building the modern family

In this episode of Out Late with David, Stefan Schneider shares his journey of coming out as gay, navigating relationships, and building a modern family. He reflects on the challenges of coming out in the early 90s, the impact of his sexuality on his marriage, and the emotional turmoil of divorce. Through self-discovery and therapy, Stefan learns to embrace his identity and finds happiness in his new life with his husband and blended family. The conversation highlights the importance of authenticity, communication, and the complexities of family dynamics in the LGBTQ+ community.

Takeaways

Coming out is a complex process that varies for everyone.
The societal context during the early 90s made coming out challenging.
Authenticity in relationships can create both closeness and tension.
Divorce can be a painful but necessary step towards self-acceptance.
Rebuilding relationships with children requires patience and love.
Self-discovery often involves confronting difficult truths about oneself.
Having a clear vision of what you want in a partner can guide your choices.
The journey to happiness is not linear and requires effort.
Childhood experiences can shape one's understanding of identity.
Creating a supportive environment for children is crucial during transitions.

Sound Bites

"I just wanted to fit in and be normal."
"The only way out is through sometimes."
"I always wanted to be a dad."
"I had to sacrifice something of myself."
"I felt like I had split up my family."
"We met on Christian Mingle."

Chapters

00:00 Navigating Identity and Relationships
15:00 The Journey of Self-Discovery
30:00 Building a Blended Family
33:48 Reflections on Happiness and Authenticity

Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/YGWJGVhw2s8

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com

© 2025 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved. The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

8 months ago

34 minutes

Out Late With David

Mark Dembo - the weight of truth…a journey of self-discovery

Summary

Mark Dembo shares his journey of coming out at the age of 59, reflecting on the challenges and transformations he faced in his relationships, particularly with his wife and children. He discusses the emotional weight of living a life that felt inauthentic and the liberation he felt upon embracing his true self. Mark emphasizes the importance of support from family and community, and the complexities of navigating a mixed-orientation marriage. His story highlights the potential for love and acceptance even in the face of significant life changes. Mark emphasizes the significance of love and understanding in navigating the challenges of coming out later in life, offering insights and advice for others on similar journeys. Keywords coming out, LGBTQ, self-discovery, relationships, family dynamics, support groups, acceptance, personal growth, authenticity, mental health

Takeaways

Coming out later in life can be a complex journey.
Self-acceptance often comes with emotional weight.
Support from family is crucial during the coming out process.
Navigating relationships requires patience and understanding.
Community support can provide a sense of belonging.
Publicly embracing one's identity can be liberating.
It's important to allow space for emotions in relationships.
Guilt is a common feeling for those coming out later in life.
Maintaining friendships post-separation is possible.
Every individual's journey is unique, but shared experiences can help.

Sound Bites

"I was living somebody else's life."
"I consider myself so very lucky in who she is."
"I want to do whatever I can to help."
"You have nothing to feel guilty for."
"I recognize that I didn't choose this."
"I can't fight that; it's who I am."

Audio Chapters

00:00 Mark's Journey of Self-Discovery
07:51 The Impact of Coming Out on Relationships
15:45 Navigating Family Dynamics
20:57 Finding Community and Support
26:05 Publicly Embracing Authenticity

Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/8RrNuddNU-c

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com

© 2025 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved. The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

9 months ago

34 minutes

Out Late With David

John Duerler - navigating complexities of coming out while creating community for gay fathers

Summary

In this interview David Cotton speaks with John Duerler who shares his journey of self-discovery as a gay man, navigating the complexities of coming out to his family and the challenges of maintaining relationships. He discusses the importance of being true to oneself, the supportive reactions from his family, and the creation of a community for gay fathers. John emphasizes the significance of open communication and offers advice for others in similar situations, highlighting that they are not alone in their struggles. Keywords coming out, LGBTQ, family dynamics, self-discovery, relationships, gay fathers, acceptance, mental health, personal growth, community support Takeaways

John's journey of self-discovery began in childhood.
He dated women for many years before coming out.
Family support played a crucial role in his coming out process.
John's children reacted positively to his coming out.
He emphasizes the importance of therapy in understanding one's identity.
John's relationship with his wife remains amicable despite their separation.
He created a community for gay fathers to share experiences.
John's podcast aims to help others navigate similar journeys.
He believes in the power of open communication within families.
John encourages others to seek help and support during their journey.

Sound Bites

"I had to be true to myself."
"I want to come work for you."
"It gets better."
"You're not alone."
"Be true to yourself. Get help."

Audio Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Coming Out Journeys
03:00 Early Experiences and Realizations
05:55 Navigating Relationships and Family Dynamics
08:49 The Impact of Family and Support Systems
12:13 Coming Out to Family and Friends
15:10 Creating a Supportive Community
18:02 Reflections on Dating and Relationships
20:46 Advice for Others on Their Journey
24:07 Conclusion and Resources

Book Recommendation: Fashionably Late: Gay, Bi, and Trans Men Who Came Out Later in Life, edited by Vinnie Kinsella. https://a.co/d/dh3N2yM

Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/0Dx2jCfpzlQ

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com

© 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

11 months ago

28 minutes

Out Late With David

David Nygaard - divorce, heart attack, bankruptcy…a journey of resilience

In this conversation, David Cotton speaks with David Nygaard about his journey of coming out as gay later in life. They discuss the challenges of recognizing one's identity in a society that often stigmatizes homosexuality, the complexities of navigating relationships and marriage, and the impact of a significant health crisis on Nygaard's life. Nygaard shares his experiences of embracing authenticity, his political aspirations, and the importance of open communication in relationships. The conversation concludes with advice for those in mixed orientation marriages, emphasizing the need for self-acceptance and seeking professional guidance. David also offers advice for others who may be struggling with their identity and relationships.

Keywords coming out, LGBTQ+, self-discovery, relationships, authenticity, heart attack, personal growth, life changes, gay marriage, mental health

Takeaways

Coming out later in life can be a complex journey.
David Nygaard's story reflects the complexities of self-discovery.
Growing up, he felt an early attraction to men but lacked the language to express it.
He wore a metaphorical mask to hide his true self.
His involvement in evangelical Christianity was a way to escape depression.
David's marriage was filled with happiness despite his hidden sexuality.
The divorce allowed him to explore his identity more freely.
He experienced a life-changing heart attack that prompted a reevaluation of his life.
Authenticity became a priority after his health crisis.
Political activism can be a way to impact the community positively.
It's important to seek therapy to navigate mixed orientation marriages.
David Cotton emphasizes the importance of dating oneself before seeking a partner.
He encourages others to seek therapy to navigate their feelings.

Sound Bites

"My story reads like a soap opera."
"I always had an affinity or an attraction to guys."
"We grew up in an age where it was illegal to be gay."
"I put on what I'd say is a three foot mask."

Audio Chapters

00:00 Awakening to Identity
05:40 Navigating Relationships and Marriage
10:02 Embracing Authenticity Post-Divorce
18:16 Health Crisis and Life Changes
24:32 Political Aspirations and Community Impact
27:55 Building a New Relationship
30:47 Advice for Those in Mixed Orientation Marriages

Book Recommendation: “Is My Husband Gay, Straight or Bi?” by Joe Kort. https://a.co/d/0J2egb1

Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/4ius0O4Y_8U

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact me: david@davidcottoncoaching.com

© 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used,...

1 year ago

32 minutes

Out Late With David

Brian Janes - came out after 26 years of marriage, now finding his place in his new community

Summary

Brian Janes, a successful real estate broker, came out as gay at age 49 after 26 years of marriage. He loved being married and had a strong connection with his wife, but deep down, he had a sexual desire that didn't match up with her. After years of therapy and self-help, his wife eventually told him she wanted a divorce. Brian knew he was gay from a young age but didn't know how to embrace it. He suppressed his true self and lived in fear of being found out. After his divorce, he made the decision to come out and started a podcast for men coming out later in life.

Keywords: comingout, marriage, divorce, self-discovery, suppression, fear, loneliness, podcast, outlate, gay, alwaysgay

Takeaways

Suppressing your true self can lead to frustration and strain in relationships.
Coming out later in life can be a difficult and lonely process.
Embracing your true self can lead to personal growth and a more fulfilling life.
Sharing your story and being vulnerable can help others going through similar experiences.

Titles

The Journey of Coming Out Later in Life
Embracing Your True Self and Finding Personal Growth

Sound Bites
"Don't Let Your Wonder Turn Into Closure"
"Here I Am, a Proud Gay Man"
"You're Not Alone, We're All Out Here"

Chapters (audio)

00:00 Introduction: Brian James' Journey
01:15 The Love and Connection of Marriage
03:11 The Strain and Separation in Divorce
04:09 Suppressing Identity and Fear of Coming Out
08:27 Embracing Authenticity and Self-Discovery
14:13 Coming Out to Ex-Wife and Children
18:12 Starting the Podcast: Coming Inside Out
23:09 Loneliness and Struggles After Coming Out
28:14 Advice for Married Men Struggling with Acceptance
30:31 Conclusion: Forgiving and Loving Yourself

Chapters (video)

00:00 Introduction and Background
03:04 Suppressing True Self in a Marriage
07:50 The Decision to Come Out
10:43 The Power of Wonder and Curiosity
13:36 Coming Out to Ex-Wife and Children
17:23 Exploring the New World
19:17 Regrets and Self-Kindness
21:2 0Loneliness and Self-Discovery
24:19 Starting the Podcast
27:37 Advice for Married Men Struggling with Acceptance
29:54 Summary and Closing

Song Lyric Reflection: Ben Platt's "Older."

Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/n3Iuqhu2K5M

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg Certified

Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact me: Show more...

1 year ago

31 minutes

Out Late With David

Ron Bunnell - 39 years into his marriage before he came out to his wife; now living a full life

Summary

Ron Bunnell shares his journey of coming out as gay later in life and the impact it had on his marriage. Despite initial fears, Ron's wife, Barb, showed love and support, and they were able to rebuild their relationship. Ron emphasizes the importance of being authentic and true to oneself, even if it means facing challenges. He also highlights the significance of finding support from others in similar situations. Ron's story serves as an inspiration for those navigating mixed orientation marriages and coming out later in life.

Keywords coming out, late in life, marriage, support, authenticity

Takeaways

Coming out later in life can be a challenging journey, but it is worth pursuing authenticity and being true to oneself.
Support from loved ones, like Ron's wife Barb, can make a significant difference in navigating the complexities of a mixed orientation marriage.
Finding a support group or community of individuals in similar situations can provide valuable guidance and understanding.
Ron's story highlights the importance of love, acceptance, and open-mindedness in relationships and families.

Sound Bites

"I literally thought my life would end as I knew it"
"She wanted me to text her updates on what's going on"
"I have young friends who don't even have a coming out story, I'm just myself"

Chapters
00:00 - Introduction: David Cotton's Out Late Podcast
01:13- Ron's Decision to Come Out to His Wife
03:11- Barb's Surprising Reaction and the Rebuilding of Their Relationship
08:27- Challenges and Complications in Ron's Journey 13:43- Ron's Childhood and Early Signs of His Sexual Orientation
17:53- The Social and Cultural Context of Ron's Coming Out Journey
19:19- The Impact of Ron's Sexual Orientation on His Marriage
22:00- Finding Support and Meeting Scott
25:14- The Kidney Donation and Its Impact on Ron and Barb's Relationship
28:36- Barb's Lasting Support and Ron's Advice for Others
33:02- Closing Remarks: Ron's Inspiring Journey

Book Recommendation: Over the Cliff: Gay Husbands in Straight Marriages – Bonnie Kaye and Doug Dittmer - https://a.co/d/cMEgHNO

Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/ep8EEuvEn1U

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com

© 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

1 year ago

34 minutes

Out Late With David

Brian Beaudette - after being married for 20 years he struggled with the impact on his family

Summary

David's guest, Brian, first came out to his wife over 20 years ago but chose to stay married for the sake of his family. It took ten years for him to decide it was time to live a different kind of life. Today, at age 59 he can finally say he’s “found his tribe.”

Takeaways

The struggle of coming out after being married for 20 years
The impact of coming out on family, work, and community
Finding a supportive LGBTQ+ community and a sense of belonging
The relief of embracing authenticity and self-discovery

Chapters

00:00 The Struggle of Coming Out After 20 Years of Marriage
05:57 Finding Support and Belonging in the LGBTQ+ Community
11:41 Embracing Authenticity and Self-Discovery After Coming Out

Book Recommendation: Gay Men and The New Way Forward, by Raymond L. Rigoglioso - https://a.co/d/7uByFA9

Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/X5L6lz_TX64

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com

© 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

1 year ago

26 minutes

Out Late With David

Kristin Kalbli - The Impact of Coming Out on Straight Spouses

Summary

In this episode, David Cotton interviews Kristin Kalbli, the host of Our Voices podcast and an LGBT ally. Kristin shares her experience as a straight spouse and her mission to help others in similar situations. They discuss the signs that Kristin missed in her marriage, the impact of her husband's coming out on their relationship, and the importance of honesty and communication in the coming out process. Kristin asks David about his own coming out to his spouse. They also talk about the creation of a guide for coming out to straight partners and spouses, and the need for support and understanding for both parties involved.

Takeaways

The coming out process can have a significant impact on straight spouses, who may feel betrayed, confused, and humiliated.
Honesty and open communication are crucial in the coming out process, both for the LGBT spouse and the straight spouse.
Straight spouses may have questions and need time to process the news, and it's important for the LGBT spouse to be patient and understanding.
Creating a guide for coming out to straight partners and spouses can help avoid unnecessary pain and damage in the relationship.
Support and empathy are essential for both parties involved in a mixed orientation marriage.

Sound Bites

"The hardest thing that took me the longest to forgive was not that he was gay, not that he was in the closet, but that he didn't let me go so that I could find a loving relationship with a man who was interested in me, loved me, desired me, wanted to have a robust sexual relationship with me."
"If you're in a position to honor what your spouse would like, whether that's answering their questions or giving them no contact for a while, I think following their lead on that is wise."
"Pride month can be really difficult for straight spouses. And that's not an indication of bigotry. Many straight spouses have LGBT kids and are fierce allies and defenders of their kids, right? But pride month can be really painful because then you ask yourself the question, well, if he's living his true self now, then I was a part of a lie."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background
01:09 Kristin's Experience as a Straight Spouse
09:49 Resources for Straight Spouses
14:11 The Coming Out Process and Its Impact
28:46 Preparing to Come Out to a Straight Spouse
31:31 Supporting the Straight Spouse
35:42 Honesty and Accountability
39:34 Conclusion

Information About Kristin Kalbli and OurPath

Out Path Out Voice: https://ourpath.org/our-voices/
Guide to coming out as lesbian, gay or bisexual to your straight partner or spouse - by OurPath: https://emfjjpdexyu.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/OP-GuideToComingOutLGB-r1.pdf

Book Recommendation

The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families, by Amity Pierce Buxton - https://a.co/d/129LQiC

Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/vv20ZumingY

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

Certified...

Show more...

1 year ago

40 minutes

Out Late With David

Charles Vollmar - successful chef…married with 2 kids; wife discovers he's gay and outed him to everyone
Summary

Charles Vollmer, a successful California chef, shares his journey of coming out later in life and the challenges he faced. After being outed by his wife, he left his possessions behind and started a new life in San Miguel, Mexico. He is rebuilding his career as a culinary teacher and started sharing his story on social media. Charles discusses the unique challenges faced by men who come out later in life, the impact on their families, and the need for support and understanding. He emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself and finding a community of like-minded individuals.

Keywords: coming out, late in life, challenges, rebuilding, support, community

Takeaways
Coming out later in life can be a challenging and traumatic experience, but it can also lead to personal growth and happiness.
The impact on family and relationships can be significant, and rebuilding trust and understanding takes time.
Finding a supportive community and seeking professional help can be crucial in navigating the complexities of coming out later in life.
Being true to oneself and embracing authenticity is essential for personal fulfillment and living a fulfilling life.
Titles
The Importance of Support and Understanding
Rebuilding After Coming Out: Finding a New Path
Sound Bites
"Divorcing, giving up my San Francisco Bay home of 30 years and everything in it, donating 99% of my clothing and personal belongings and selling my car. I left for Europe to begin my life over at 61."
Chapters
00:00 Introduction: Charles Vollmer's Journey
10:38 Starting Over: Rebuilding After Coming Out
25:00 Reflections and Regrets: Lessons Learned
30:59 Advice for Others: Taking Your Time and Finding Support
About Charles Vollmar
Epicurean Exchange Culinary Travel: www.epexculinarytravel.com
Blog: www.epicureanglobalexchange.com
Facebook, Threads, Instagram: All @ CharlesVollmar
Book Recommendation: Gay Men and The New Way Forward, by Raymond L. Rigoglioso - https://a.co/d/1AROMMu

Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/SLJXxU-wUaw

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com

© 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Show more...
1 year ago
34 minutes

Out Late With David

Dan Bolen - at age 70 came out as gay, kicked out of his church and ended his 2nd marriage
Dan Bolen - at age 70 he came out as gay, was kicked out of his church and ended his second marriage

Summary

Dan Bolen shares his journey of self-discovery and acceptance as a gay man after living a life of denial and fear. He discusses the challenges he faced in a restrictive religious community and the fear of losing his family and friends. Dan's story highlights the importance of being honest with oneself and embracing authenticity. He emphasizes the power of finding a supportive community and having a voice. Dan's memoir and podcast serve as a source of inspiration and empowerment for others on a similar journey.

Takeaways
Be honest with yourself and define who you are.
Don't look for someone outside of you to define who you are.
Finding a supportive community is crucial for self-acceptance.
Having a voice and embracing authenticity are empowering.
Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background
01:02 Realizing Difference and Fear of Rejection
03:17 Burying and Denying One's True Self
04:13 Marriage and Denial of Sexuality
05:38 Disfellowshiped and Shunned by the Church
07:30 Accepting Bisexuality as a Coping Mechanism
08:55 Accepting and Embracing Authentic Self 1
0:07 Coming Out and the Lowest Point
11:02 First Experience with a Man and Validation
12:29 Divorce and Finding a New Community
15:17 Defining Self and Having a Voice
24:21 Being Honest with Yourself
27:32 Advice for Those Questioning Their Sexuality
29:06 Reflection and Impact

Dan Bolen's Memoir: The Courage to be Courageous: https://a.co/d/6x7yl0r

Dan Bolen's Website: https://danbolen.com/

Book Recommendation: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown. https://a.co/d/ah7pXuT

Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/Axp2j_lgVMM

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com

© 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Show more...
1 year ago
30 minutes

Out Late With David

Larry Best - retired trial lawyer, came out 20 years into his marriage; now living a full life with partner and husband of 20 years
Summary

In this episode David interviews Larry Best, a retired trial lawyer who came out 20 years into his marriage, now living a full life with his partner and husband of 20 years. Their conversation explores the coming out journey of Larry, who shares his unique story of coming out to his business partner and wife. Larry's decision to come out was driven by a combination of personal factors, including the need to be true to himself and the impact it was having on his mental health. The reactions from his business partner and wife varied, with his business partner making a joke and his wife experiencing a range of emotions. Larry's decision to get married was influenced by societal expectations and the belief that he could suppress his attraction to men. However, he eventually realized that he had been living a lie and needed to come out. The process of telling his wife and children was challenging, with mixed reactions from each family member. Larry and his wife initially tried to maintain a co-parenting relationship, but over time, their relationship deteriorated. Larry also faced challenges in his professional life, with some clients distancing themselves after learning about his sexual orientation. However, he eventually transitioned to a successful career as a plaintiff lawyer. Overall, Larry's story highlights the complexities and emotional impact of coming out and navigating relationships and careers. In this conversation, Larry shares his experience of coming out and how it changed his perception of the world. He discusses the importance of joining LGBTQ political and social organizations to connect with the community. Larry also talks about how he found his partner and offers advice for men who are at the beginning of the coming out process. He emphasizes the need for support and understanding for spouses and family members during this time.

Takeaways
Coming out is a deeply personal and complex journey, with each individual facing unique challenges and reactions from loved ones.
The decision to get married while suppressing one's true sexual orientation can lead to internal conflict and a sense of living a lie.
The process of coming out can have a significant emotional impact on spouses and children, with reactions ranging from relief to anger and despair.
Supporting loved ones through the coming out process requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to be present and listen.
Coming out can have professional implications, with potential challenges in maintaining client relationships and navigating workplace dynamics. Coming out can change one's perception of the world and the people in it.
Joining LGBTQ political and social organizations can provide a social network and help in meeting like-minded individuals.
Finding a partner after coming out can take time and patience.
Support and understanding for spouses and family members are crucial during the coming out process.
Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage
00:20 Unusual Coming Out Story
02:27 Reactions from Business Partner and Wife
03:31 Emotional Impact on Wife
05:45 Supporting Wife Emotionally
06:12 The Decision to Get Married
08:04 Realization of Being Gay
11:22 Fear of Coming Out
18:26 Divorce and Financial Settlement
24:45 Telling the Children
29:44 Reflections on the Coming Out Process
33:34 Impact on Business and Career
41:15 Changing Perception
44:10 Connecting with the LGBTQ Community
45:53 Finding a Partner
51:06 Advice for Men Coming Out
57:09 Supporting Spouses and Family
58:35 Understanding the Wife's Perspective
59:04 Closing Remarks

Larry Best's online memoir: https://medium.com/@laurencebest
Show more...
1 year ago
32 minutes

Out Late With David

Rick Clemons - author, life coach, and host of LIFE (UN)CLOSETED & 40 PLUS…GAY MEN, GAY TALK
Summary

In this episode David interviews Rick Clemons, well-known as the host of the popular podcast “Life (UN)Closeted” as well as “40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk.” He is a sought-after public speaker and a successful life coach. He is also the author of the book “Frankly My Dear I’m Gay: the late bloomers guide to coming out." Rick shares his journey of coming out and helping men come out of the closet. He discusses the challenges of living a dual life and the fear of disappointing loved ones. Rick emphasizes the importance of authenticity and unapologetically being oneself. He also addresses common threads among closeted men and the need to overcome limiting fears. Rick shares his plans for a new book and podcast, focusing on living an unapologetic life. The key takeaway is the power of embracing one's true identity and living authentically.

Takeaways
Embrace your true identity and live authentically.
Overcome limiting fears and show the world who you really are.
Living an unapologetic life is empowering and liberating.
Common threads among closeted men include lack of sexual interest, depletion of intimacy in relationships, and co-dependency.
Chapters

00:00 Introduction
00:40 Rick's Life's Work
01:34 Rick's Story: Coming Out
03:00 The Influence of Religious Upbringing
04:27 Living a Dual Life
05:54 The Shift to Authenticity
07:22 The Moment of Falling in Love
09:14 Transactional Sex vs. Intimacy
09:43 Coming Out to Spouse
11:40 Co-Parenting and Balancing Relationships
15:38 Common Threads in Closeted Men
18:57 The Biggest Lie Closeted Men Tell Themselves
20:22 Honesty and Authenticity in Conversations
21:09 Living an Unapologetic Life 23:53 Future Plans: New Book and Podcast
25:48 Message for Men Coming Out Later in Life
27:18 Conclusion

Rick Clemons: https://rickclemons.com/

Book Recommendation: Frankly My Dear, I’m Gay: A Late Bloomers Guide to Coming Out - https://a.co/d/aD2vgKD

Podcast website: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/yL6RVDjZugs

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

© 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Show more...
1 year ago
29 minutes

Out Late With David

Shaun Williams - founder of Gay Fathers Worldwide and Bent Couch Counselling
Shaun Williams - founder of Gay Fathers Worldwide and Bent Couch Counselling

Summary
In this episode, David Cotton interviews licensed counselor Shaun Williams; he previously had successful career in construction when he came out as gay after 25 years of marriage. After coming out he changed his career to help others finding their true selves. Shaun shares his experiences growing up in the 80s, discovering his sexuality at a young age, and the weight of keeping his secret. He discusses the impact on his family and the challenges he faced in coming out. Shaun also talks about the creation of Gay Fathers Worldwide, a support group he formed for men who have come out later in life. He emphasizes the importance of finding a safe space and community for support and understanding.

Takeaways
Coming out later in life can be a lonely and isolating experience, but finding a safe space and community of others who have had similar experiences can provide support and reassurance.
The weight of keeping a secret about one's sexuality can have a significant impact on mental health and well-being.
The process of coming out can be challenging and may involve difficult conversations with family members and loved ones.
Creating a support group or community for individuals who have come out later in life can provide a valuable resource for connection, understanding, and shared experiences.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction
00:48 Growing Up in the 80s
02:16 Discovering His Sexuality
03:16 Getting Married
04:15 The Weight of the Secret
05:12 Dealing with Guilt and Shame
06:11 Living a Lie
07:11 Finding Purpose in Helping Others
09:06 Impact on Family
11:30 Inspiration from Daughters
12:56 Coming Out and Seeking Help
13:53 The Process of Coming Out
15:19 Creating Gay Fathers Worldwide
19:11 Regrets and Lessons Learned
23:20 Acceptance in the Gay Community
26:27 Late-Life Coming Out Experience
28:25 Creation of Gay Fathers Worldwide
29:21 Common Experiences of Children
31:48 New Life and Career
36:41 Importance of Community
37:37 Conclusion

Bent Couch Counselling: https://www.bentcouch.com.au/

Gay Fathers Worldwide: https://gayfathersworldwide.wordpress.com/

Podcast website: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/C7PJTAcmGT8

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact me: david@davidcottoncoaching.com

© 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Show more...
1 year ago
37 minutes

Out Late With David

William Brown - a counselor and author of 'Coming True' came out late & now helping others
William Brown is an author, a licensed professional counselor, and a man who knows firsthand what it’s like to come out later in life. At age forty he told his wife of 18 years, and his children… that he is gay. What he’s learned since—helped him create the definitive “how to” book for coming out later in life.

Book Recommendation: Coming True: Seeking Truth in Self, Later In Life, by today's guest, William Brown. https://a.co/d/6cEM5Jj

Video version of this episode: https://youtu.be/5y_GJsqzcXg

Podcast website and for more resources about coming out LGBTQ+: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact me: david@davidcottoncoaching.com

© 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Show more...
1 year ago
37 minutes