In this episode of Now I Get It, I dive into the fascinating topic of complimentary neuroses in relationships. I explain how we tend to be drawn to people whose unresolved patterns and neuroses compliment our own, creating a sense of wholeness. While this dynamic can feel comforting at first, over time, it often leads to conflict and challenges that provide an opportunity for growth and transformation.

I also walk you through the key developmental stages—like attachment, exploration, and identity—and how experiences during these phases shape our behaviors and attachment styles as adults. By understanding these patterns and embracing the “crucible” of conflict in relationships, we can move beyond a superficial sense of completeness to achieve true wholeness, both individually and as a couple.

In this episode, you will learn:

(00:02) What complimentary neuroses are and how they show up in relationships

I explain why we’re attracted to partners whose patterns mirror and compliment our own.

(02:20) How developmental stages shape our attachment styles

I talk about the attachment, exploration, and identity phases and how they impact us as adults.

(04:12) The outcomes of different attachment styles

I cover avoidant, anxious, and secure attachments, and how they show up in relationships.

(08:04) Why pushing polarities can restore balance

I share how intensifying certain behaviors can help us break free from unbalanced patterns.

(12:44) The role of relationships as a transformative crucible

I explain how the heat and pressure of relationship conflict can lead to growth and healing.

(14:57) Why love frequencies matter

I talk about the importance of feeling loved in a way that keeps the “crucible” strong enough to hold transformation.

Let’s connect!

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