“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt
In this last podcast of Season 5 I look at comparisons. Comparisons, especially unclear ones, take us down a blind alley. Whether it is willing ourselves to do something ‘better’ or someone else telling us to - how do we know we have got there or measure our achievement ? The end result is often disappointment and blame. What would happen if we stopped doing this to ourselves or others ? By being claer what we are comparing with we can measure and celebrate success.
In the NLP Meta Model these are referred to as Comparative Deletions – watch or listen to find out more !
“Winners compare their achievements with their goals.” Nido Qubein
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE
'Everyday NLP' Click HERE
“ʺThey are all the same!ʺ Is the cruelest
gallows humankind ever built.” ― Lamine Pearlheart, Author
How often to we talk about groups of people with the implication that they are all the same and think the same ? ‘They’ ‘The government’ ‘Management’ ‘ the Council’ or more vaguely still ‘some people’.
In the NLP Meta Model these are referred to as an Unspecified Referential Index.
They are commonplace ways of speaking ,but what’s the effect on the point we want to make, our credibility or even the impact on our own thinking? How more effective or happier might we be by being clear who we are referring to?
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE
'Everyday NLP' Click HERE
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” Lily Tomlin, Actor
Being specific can be exhausting in conversation ….and yet without it there possibilities of misunderstanding are huge! What more could we learn if we asked more questions of others, or noticed when we aren’t being clear?
In NLP Meta model these are referred to as Unspecified Verbs and Simple Deletions
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE
'Everyday NLP' Click HERE
“Vague expression permits the hearer to imagine whatever suits him and what he already thinks in any case.”
Theodor Adorno German sociologist, philosopher and musicologist
In this podcast my focus is on ‘fat’ words – words which potentially contain different meanings to different people and as a result can lead to misunderstandings. They require us to ask more questions to really understand what some one is saying….and yet you have to notice them first. E.g. you might ask me what I mean by ‘misunderstandings’ !!!
In the NLP Meta Model these are referred to as Nominalisations.
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE
'Everyday NLP' Click HERE
“Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they’re yours.” Richard Bach Spiritual Writer
In this podcast I look our self-imposed rules, when we say we must or mustn’t do something, or that we can or can’t. Often we say these things without considering if they are true……….and I wonder what would happen if we did question them ? And of course we also pass these 'rules' onto others too !
In the NLP Meta Model these are referred to as Modal Operators of Possibility or Necessity.
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE
'Everyday NLP' Click HERE
“All generalizations are false, including this one.” Mark Twain
In this week’s episode I look at the effect of generalizations where we use words like all, everyone, no one, always, never etc. In NLP Meta Model these are referred to as Universal Quantifiers. But what impact do they have on the point we may be making or indeed on ourselves and others ?
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE
'Everyday NLP' Click HERE
https://www.florencemadden.co.uk/IntentionImpactAmazon
“Science, like art, religion, commerce, warfare, and even sleep, is based on presuppositions.”
— Gregory Bateson, anthropologist and social scientist
This week’s language pattern is where what is said assumes something to be true without question, referred to in Meta Model as Presuppositions. Many of our assumptions are correct or beneficial …. but when they aren’t they can impair the choices we make or our relationships with others. On the other hand if we ask ourselves ‘Who says?’, we might just reconsider !
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ?
My books are available on Amazon: 'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE
'Everyday NLP' Click HERE
“People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.”
Andy Rooney Writer and Humorist
This week’s language pattern is when we reach a conclusion that does not necessarily follow from the facts, but fits with the narrative in our head. This is referred to in Meta Model as a Complex Equivalence. What if we reconsidered and asked ourselves ‘How do these facts mean what we suppose – could there be another conclusion?’
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE
'Everyday NLP' Click HERE
– Brené Brown
This week’s language pattern is when we blame other people or situations for how we feel or what happens to us.
In NLP Meta Model this is called Cause and Effect. When we make other people responsible we abdicate our own responsibility and hence control. Does it have to be this way?
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ?
My books are available on Amazon: 'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE
'Everyday NLP' Click HERE
“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in.”
― Isaac Asimov!
This week’s language pattern is when opinions are expressed as if they are a fact.
Referred to in the Meta Model as a ‘Lost Performative’ i.e. what is lost is whose opinion is being expressed.
We are surrounded by other people….and ourselves of course, expressing an opinion without owning it or acknowledging even, that it is ONLY an opinion ! How much more authentic and persuasive could we be if we did ?
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE
'Everyday NLP' Click HERE
“Great relationships are based on clarity, not mind-reading.”
In this season of podcasts I am focussing on language patterns that do not serve us or our relationships with others…summarised in the Meta Model in NLP.
Sometimes people do not find it easy to get their head around Meta Model, partly because the language is so commonplace it can look ‘innocent’. In fact these patterns can be evidence of problems in our thinking that may be blocking our path to success and happiness in life. When we recognise them and question them new thinking can emerge !
This week the focus is on ‘mindreading’ i.e. assuming we know what others are thinking and acting accordingly!
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE
'Everyday NLP' Click HERE
'Words as I speak or write them, make a path on which I walk'.
Diane Glancy
My guest in this podcast is Sue Knight, international trainer in NLP, author of ‘NLP At Work’ and with whom I completed my NLP trainer training. Sue talks about the power of modelling and specifically noticing and changing our language to achieve personal change and engage more effectively with others.
You can find out more about Sue or connect with her via her website: www.sueknight.com
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Check it out HERE
'Everyday NLP' Check it out HERE
“In a growth mindset, challenges are exciting rather than threatening. So rather than thinking, oh, I’m going to reveal my weaknesses, you say, wow, here’s a chance to grow.”
– Carol Dweck
My guest in this podcast is my friend and co-author, Eleni Sarantinou. Eleni’s talks about giving and receiving feedback, a practice at the core of her work and mine – and an essential ingredient as we co-wrote ‘Everyday NLP’ together. Eleni is also the author of ‘Perception Projection’.
You can find out more about Eleni on her website: www.life-spheres.com
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Check it out HERE
'Everyday NLP' Check it out HERE
“I think that everything is possible as long as you put your mind to it and you put the work and time into it. I think your mind really controls everything. “
Michael Phelps.
I am delighted that this episode’s conversation is with my first NLP teacher Sarah Frossell, with whom I did my NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner and set me on a course that quite literally changed my life and work. Aside from that, Sarah has been a pioneer of NLP in the UK applying it with children with dyslexia and then with people suffering with M.E. – specifically helping them work with their unconscious mind. Sarah talks about both in this podcast.
You can contact Sarah on sarah.frossell@gmail.com or message her on 07932 173129.
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Check it out HERE
'Everyday NLP' Check it out HERE
"Reality doesn't bite, rather our perception of reality bites." Anthony J. D'Angelo
This episode’s conversation is with Ali Smith whom I first met when she did her NLP Practitioner training with me. Her focus is on helping her clients change their memories of trauma by changing the submodalities i.e. by changing how someone remembers an event, they change their feelings about it, enabling them to move forward!
You can find out more about Alison on her website: www.ali-smith.com
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Check it out HERE
'Everyday NLP' Check it out HERE
Unknown
In this episode I talk to Sarah Scarratt about how her noticing the different metaprograms of family members is a route to harmony !
You can find out more about Sarah on her website: www.sarahscarrattcoaching.com
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Check it out HERE
'Everyday NLP' Check it out HERE
"The wise man doesn't give the right answers, he poses the right questions." Claude Levi-Strauss
In this episode I talk to my friend coach and co-trainer Richard Bisiker. He talks about the value of Meta Model questions which he uses formally and informally to coach to help others.
You can find out more about Richard on his website: www.personalsummits.com
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Check it out HERE
'Everyday NLP' Check it out HERE
‘Good health is multifaceted - it's physical, it's internal, it's my diet, and my emotional state. It's all tied in together.’ Michelle Obama
This week I talk to coach Fiona Stimson who applies her NLP skills in the field of health, specifically helping cancer patients to cope with their treatment and avoid being influenced by the strong emotions around them.
You can find out more about Fiona on her website: www.fionastimson.co.uk
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Check it out HERE
'Everyday NLP' Check it out HERE
‘Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.’ Arab Proverb.
In this first podcast of Season 4 trainer and coach Jackie Lawlor talks about ‘Clean Language’ and how she has used it in her personal life as well as in her coaching practice. Clean questions are questions that allow the responder to answer freely, without being influenced by the person asking the question. In fact she attributes her marriage to her husband Richard to asking the right questions!
You can find out more about Jackie on her website http://www.lovewhoyouare.co.uk/
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Check it out HERE
'Everyday NLP' Check it out HERE
"It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen." - Muhammad Ali
Karen Falconer is the CEO of ANLP and the NLP International Conference. ANLP (The Association for Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is a UK organisation founded in 1985 by Frank Kevlin to promote neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). It sets out the Criteria and Core Requirements for NLP Trainers who wish to receive ANLP Accreditation for their courses and is a valuable source of information about NLP and NLP Training. I have been proud to be an Accredited Trainer with them for over 10 years.
In this podcast Karen talks about how the ‘Pre-Suppositions of NLP’ also sometimes known as ‘Beliefs of Excellence’ have become a philosophy of life for her.
You can find out more about ANLP on their website:
Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:
'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Check it out HERE
'Everyday NLP' Check it out HERE
