In this episode we meet India Farr who runs Treebug childcare in Stroud in Gloucestershire UK. She tells us how she came to Aware Parenting and how central it is for her both personally and professionally. India's’ psychology studies and her childcare work enables her to embody her passion for child development and emotional wellbeing on a daily basis. Her heart warming stories offer real insights around democratic and consent based approaches that are just as relevant in any public setting or at home. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

In part two we continue to hear how India and her team manage more than one child and their feelings all at once. India offers specific games and approaches that ensure all the children are acknowledged and held as needed. Her profound stories point to the wisdom of children and notably her own daughter’s capacity to be sensitive and attuned to the needs of others. And so we all shout what about sibling rivalry? Yes it happens at times in most households. India’s calm trust of the principles of Aware Parenting gives her the capacity to offer consent based solutions to get to the root of rivalry dynamics. So inspired and grateful for these conversations. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

In this podcast we discuss the crucial role of listening partnerships in relation to parental guilt. A listening partner offers us the opportunity to speak freely about our feelings without judgment or minimising. Often when we speak about our feelings with our partner or a close friend they may tell us we are ‘over thinking’ or worrying too much. Being listened to by someone who appreciates t core aware parenting principles, gives us the opportunity to unpack lingering ‘guilty’ feelings. It is important to note that when these feelings are left unspoken they can lead to low-grade feelings of depression, lack of confidence and unworthiness. When we fully acknowledge what has happened we can begin to put down these burdens. With gentle encouragement a listening partner may also help us recall times when we offered our children some wonderful moments of connection. Being reminded of what is RIGHT with us will help us gather resources and prepare us once again to enter the crazy parenting dance. Treading that tricky path of being a heartfelt and engaged parent with an awareness for our own limits and needs as well. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

When Parental guilt visits us we can feel so constricted and hard towards ourselves. We explore here a four part process,integral to Aware Parenting that opens us up to the possibility of repair and connection with ourselves and our children once again. We remind ourselves that when WE mess up, react and behave inappropriately, it is not our fault. It simply shows that we have unmet needs that are deserving of attention and love. As the adult though we do have a responsibility we could say ‘response - ability‘ to create space for playful repair and healing. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

At many steps on the parenting path most of us parents will feel waves of guilt. It can creep up on us in different ways and can sometimes be hard to distinguish from feelings of grief and anger. Perhaps dressed our child roughly when they went out the door as they were refusing to put on a coat or we forced them into the car screaming against their will. It just didnt feel right to act that way and our actions may have left us with a feeling of failure, confusion or even isolation. These hurtful scenes were not how we envisaged parenting to be, we can feel the impact of such events for weeks or (even years) later. In part two we look at what to do when we feel we have messed up To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

Here we continue this important discussion and make it clear that it is likely that in any one day many of us can move between a variety of styles of parenting. Dr Solter and other highly regarded psychologists point out that how we parent does have long term consequences. The democratic approach favoured by Aware Parenting is highly relational and heart-felt, it is however essential that we offer kindness and tender regard to ourselves and ALL of our behaviour. Especially when we may have acted in ways that we are not proud of! Here we remind ourselves that it is never too late to rewind and repattern. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

Finally we look at regression games, contact games as well as cooperative activities and games that can all be surprisingly helpful. Play is a window into our child world and we never need to be afraid of what they want to ‘show us’. Our children will want to play some games again and again until they have got what they need from them. Through play even the most traumatic events can be resolved and re-patterned. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

In this episode we explore three main parenting styles as outlined by Aletha Solter. Authoritarian, Permissive and Democratic parenting. It is easy for any of us to say that we would ‘never parent like THAT”.. But inevitably when we are tired and under pressure we can find ourselves resorting to parenting styles that seek to be ‘in control’ and have ‘the upper hand’. Acknowledging the reality of our parenting styles and why we choose them can be a relief in itself. Here we look into the atmosphere of the home as well and how different styles of parenting impact us on many levels. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

Next up is nonsense play, separation games and power-reversal games that can be extraordinarily powerful ways to heal past hurts and directly address childhood fears of separation and powerlessness. Some families are reluctant to bring in power reversal games, fearing that it will lead to more wild and even aggressive behaviour. It has been widely shown that the opposite is true. Physical styles of play within the safety of the home have been shown to help to reduce the need for aggressive behaviour elsewhere. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

When we move away from bribes and punishments, loving limits are one of the useful ways we can set limits with love. Aware Parenting Instructor and author Dr Marion Rose writes extensively about the topic of what she calls ‘Loving Limits, about saying no to the behavior and saying YES to the feelings” Parents often find themselves in situations where their children are demanding more and more stories, play, food or screen time. Lovingly embodying our authentic No and Yes is explored in this chat. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

Aware parenting recommends the radical idea of play before bed as one of the many ways to ensure that a loving connection is re-established at bedtime. Dr Aletha Solter recommends that when a child feels safe and easy in their body they will sleep. When many of us were growing up there may have been an emphasis on keeping things low key, on unwinding and settling and calming our children before bedtime so that they would dose off without a fight. This may have come from a more fearful outlook of needing to have ‘control’ and ‘authority’ over our children. In this episode we begin to explore how bedtimes can look very different and be very healing for ourselves as well. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

Please note we had a sound glitch in some of this podcast as always do reach out with any questions. In these podcasts we look at the nine different types of play that Dr Solter has identified. We address three distinctive types of play in each episode. The play is non-directed and child-centred which gives ample opportunity for the child to feel seen and heard. Play is not just something to ‘fill in the gaps’ or while away a rainy afternoon but a key opportunity to build laughter and connection. Here we look at non-directive child-centred play, symbolic play and contingency play which is a type of play where we follow the ‘commands’ and prompts. Contingency play in particular is a great stress reliever and if the child is laughing you have struck gold. Keep at it as they will build so much trust and confidence and release residual feelings of anxiety and powerlessness. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

Today is the beginning of a series of conversations around the healing power of play. The Aware Parenting approach identifies playful parent/child activities that strengthen attachment, help children heal from trauma, and also resolve discipline problems. For many of us growing up we may have learned that play was something that children do by themselves. Over the coming weeks we will explore nine key ways that play can become a vital and joyful part of family life. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

In this shortest of short summaries we point to some of the ways that Aware Parenting offers compassionate and practical solutions that build connection within families. These revolutionary approaches have the potential to impact on the future well being of our communities. There is a lot of talk about parenting nowadays but in our experience this is one of the few attachment parenting approaches that recognize that there is ‘healing through the feelings’. Whilst it is a democratic approach it is not permissive and upholds the principle of loving limits. Problem solving together is valued as are the principles of deep listening and embodied presence. Do contact Sara and Vicki to book in a free introductory call to ask questions and to deepen your own understanding of these core principles. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

In this third of the three part introduction we look at the remaining core values that are outlined below. As always it is so helpful to connect with an Aware Parenting instructor who can help to tease out how these principles could be applied in your family. 6. Aware parents protect children from danger, but they do not attempt to prevent all of their children's mistakes, problems, or conflicts. 7. Aware parents encourage children to be autonomous problem-solvers and help only when needed. They do not solve their children's problems for them. 8. Aware parents set reasonable boundaries and limits, gently guide children towards acceptable behaviour, and consider everyone's needs when solving conflicts. They do not control children with bribes, rewards, threats, or punishments of any kind. 9. Aware parents take care of themselves and are honest about their own needs and feelings. They do not sacrifice themselves to the point of becoming resentful. 10. Aware parents strive to be aware of the ways in which their own childhood pain interferes with their ability to be good parents, and they make conscious efforts to avoid passing on their own hurts to their children. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

Here we reflect upon five of the ten core principles of aware parenting. 1. Aware parents fill their children's needs for physical contact (holding, cuddling, etc.). They do not worry about "spoiling" their children. 2. Aware parents accept the entire range of emotions and listen non-judgmentally to children's expressions of feelings. They realize that they cannot prevent all sadness, anger, or frustration, and they do not attempt to stop children from releasing painful feelings through crying or raging. 3. Aware parents offer age-appropriate stimulation, and trust children to learn at their own rate and in their own way. They do not try to hurry children on to new stages of development. 4. Aware parents offer encouragement for learning new skills, but do not judge children's performance with either criticism or evaluative praise. 5. Aware parents spend time each day giving full attention to their children. During this special, quality time, they observe, listen, respond, and join in their children's play (if invited to do so), but they do not direct the children's activities. Vicki and Sara are fully aware that this may be a lot to hear all at once and we would be so delighted to offer listeners a free introductory call to hear what questions this may bring up for you. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

Aware Parenting is an attachment-based and trauma-informed approach that questions most traditional assumptions about raising children and proposes a new approach that can significantly improve relationships within a family and prevent behavior problems. Based on the work of Aletha Solter, Ph.D., a Swiss American developmental psychologist, international speaker, consultant, and author of six books. She is recognized internationally as an expert on attachment, trauma, non-punitive discipline, and developmentally appropriate education. In this first part we explore the four basic assumptions of Aware parenting and how it is to embody these in practice within our families. Vicki and Sara offer a free introductory call to any listeners who would like to check if Aware Parenting could be supportive for them and their families. Do reach out and tell us how we can help. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

Dr Solter writes “many people are baffled by infant crying because they assume that crying is always caused by an immediate need or discomfort.” When parents first discover Aware Parenting they often comment that they would prefer to be with laughter, or in fact anything else rather than tears! Crying can have deep negative associations for many of us; sometimes even prompting feelings of parental failure. In her book The Aware Baby, Dr Solter points to some fascinating research on the healing benefits of crying. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

Following on from our chat about PRAISE we reflect upon the drawbacks of rewards and punishments that Aware Parenting identifies. Although children can certainly be taught to ‘behave’ with the help of rewards and rewards don’t harm children in the way that punishment does, a child can feel punished when she fails to be rewarded. Dr Solter refers to research in her writings that shows how de-motivating rewards can be for children. Aletha asks us to consider how self-focussed reward seeking can be and suggests other ways that build in loving connection. To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com

Praise is the interesting topic that we pull into focus in this podcast. “Come ON”. you might say, surely it can’t be that bad to PRAISE a child?” Praising (and treating) our children comes naturally to most of us but does it actually have the desired impact? It is only when we reflect back on our own embodied experiences of praise that we can see all of this in a different light. Any people-pleasers out there? People who compare themselves with others or find themselves often looking for approval or external validation? Just wondering… as being loved unconditionally, is what Aware Parenting is all about. Do listen in and we would love your comments and responses on this hot topic! Do email us at embodyingawarepreanting@gmail.com To find out about Vicki Plomer’s latest offerings visit: www.vickiplomer.com To contact Sara Devoy and find out more about her work contact@saradevoycraniosacral.com