Teens have a way of distracting us so they can avoid the issue we want to talk about. Your best tactic is to stick to the facts.
Letting go doesn't mean giving up or giving in. It doesn't mean cutting your child out of your life. What it does mean is giving your teen the opportunities and dignity of experiencing and learning from life.
There will be mistakes along the way. It's supposed to be that way. Letting go means being there to support them trough it, not to fix it for them.
There's an anonymous poem called "Letting Go". It says it all. To get your copy, email me at fern@fernweis.com and I'll send it over.
We hear over and over that it's what you say and how you say it. Let's flip that around and look at specific words and phrases to avoid. What you omit can be just as important as what you say.
When you try them out, let me know how it goes.
** The opinions of the presenters are not a substitute for medical and mental health treatment.
Our praise often falls flat because we are the parents and
1. we offer it to make our child feel better OR
2. our child is a black and white thinker. They think something is 100% true or not true at all.
This episode goes into more depth about this this and what kind of praise works best.
Listen to the end for a free tool that makes effective praise easier to do. fern@fernweis.com
Thanks for listening.
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** The opinions of the presenter are not a substitute for medical or mental health treatment.
There's often one person in the family who's the center of attention. This person may be out of control and the source of chaos, the one everyone's dancing around. This episode explores how this impacts everyone in the family and how you can cope more productively with it.
Foundations: Relationships, Boundaries, Communication Skills
*Disclaimer* - This content reflects the opinions of Fern Weis. It does not represent, nor is it a substitute for, mental health or medical advice.
Are you familiar with "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein? Most parents love this book. I read it to my children only once because I found the message disturbing. This mother (the tree) gives and gives until she has nothing left, and her son takes and takes, with no regard for her. Is that how you want to show up for your children and them for you? If not, you'll appreciate this perspective on doing less for everyone else and doing more for you. You have a life and hopefully dreams. You matter.
Foundations: Self-Care, Boundaries, Potential
*Disclaimer* - This content reflects the opinions of Fern Weis. It does not represent, nor is it a substitute for mental health or medical advice.
The Boiled Frog is a short story with a big lesson. It illustrates what it takes for us to see what's really going on in our family, and tips to avoid reaching a crisis point. Preparation is key. I've also included a mini-script you can adapt for your individual situation.
Foundations: Communication, Prevention, Awareness
It's too easy to stay in a bad mood and wallow. Know that it's okay to feel sorry for yourself, and that it's not healthy or helpful to stay there for too long. Here's my #1 tip to get out of your funk faster, and to teach this to your kids.
Foundations: Mental Health, Boundaries, Role Model
DISCLAIMER: These are coaching strategies, and are NOT a substitute for mental health care. If you struggle with anxiety, depression or other mental health issues, please consult with medical/mental health professionals.
People pleasing was my M.O. It meant avoiding conflict at all costs, and impacted all my relationships. Being a people pleaser also affects how you parent, and not in a good way. Enjoy some personal insights into the world of being a PP. You're not alone, and you can change.
Foundations: Relationships, Self-Care
At some point we launch our children into their future and their life is no longer in our hands. The poet-philosopher Kahlil Gibran speaks for all parents in "On Children" (commonly known by the first line, Your Children Are not Your Children). I encourage you to find it online and read along with me. I was introduced to this poem at a difficult time in our family's life, and it spoke deeply and profoundly to me. Stay with me as I share its meaning to me.
Foundations: Relationship Building, Self-Care
