Just two best friends who just turned 40 talking about their struggles--everything from relationships, to not feeling good enough, to dealing with depression and anxiety--in hopes of normalizing things and making people feel less alone.
Welcome to Bay Area Brats Struggling (BABS)! If you find yourself saying, “This is not what I thought my life would look like at this point,” you might be able to relate to this podcast.
Raised as Asian Americans who were promised successful lives if they just studied hard and focused on school, Amanda and Sam found themselves on the cusp of checking all the boxes. Careers. Marriage. Homeowners. Kids.
Amanda got married to her college sweetheart, had twin girls after dealing with infertility, and lived a seemingly perfect life. Sam graduated law school, achieved her aspirations of working at a big law firm, and got engaged to her longtime boyfriend.
But then Amanda asked for a divorce and blew up her life. Sam called off her engagement and got a cat. They had career identity crises. They had to start using dating apps in their 30s. They suffer from anxiety and depression. And while they can recognize their complaints can seem bratty at times, they’re also realizing the common precedent leading up to their meltdowns is that they were struggling in silence for too long.
In trying to live life defined by other people’s standards, they lost themselves—or rather, they realized they never took the time to figure out who they were and what they wanted in the first place. So join them as they struggle through life, and hopefully you’ll realize you don’t have to struggle in silence… even if people call you a brat.
Disclaimer: We are NOT mental or physical health specialists. If you believe you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety, depression, or suicidal ideation, or any other mental health challenges we encourage you to contact your doctor or a medical professional. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, call 911, or go to your local emergency room.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Just two best friends who just turned 40 talking about their struggles--everything from relationships, to not feeling good enough, to dealing with depression and anxiety--in hopes of normalizing things and making people feel less alone.
Welcome to Bay Area Brats Struggling (BABS)! If you find yourself saying, “This is not what I thought my life would look like at this point,” you might be able to relate to this podcast.
Raised as Asian Americans who were promised successful lives if they just studied hard and focused on school, Amanda and Sam found themselves on the cusp of checking all the boxes. Careers. Marriage. Homeowners. Kids.
Amanda got married to her college sweetheart, had twin girls after dealing with infertility, and lived a seemingly perfect life. Sam graduated law school, achieved her aspirations of working at a big law firm, and got engaged to her longtime boyfriend.
But then Amanda asked for a divorce and blew up her life. Sam called off her engagement and got a cat. They had career identity crises. They had to start using dating apps in their 30s. They suffer from anxiety and depression. And while they can recognize their complaints can seem bratty at times, they’re also realizing the common precedent leading up to their meltdowns is that they were struggling in silence for too long.
In trying to live life defined by other people’s standards, they lost themselves—or rather, they realized they never took the time to figure out who they were and what they wanted in the first place. So join them as they struggle through life, and hopefully you’ll realize you don’t have to struggle in silence… even if people call you a brat.
Disclaimer: We are NOT mental or physical health specialists. If you believe you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety, depression, or suicidal ideation, or any other mental health challenges we encourage you to contact your doctor or a medical professional. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, call 911, or go to your local emergency room.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
"Are we going through something?" Even though the basis of our podcast is that we're always struggling with something, it feels like Sam and Amanda are going through something a little extra lately. They're searching for dopamine hits from Costco, Jazzercise, softball, and pole dancing (ok, maybe just Amanda), and they're struggling with FOMO and the loneliness epidemic. However, while Amanda allowed FOMO to coerce her into seeing the Backstreet Boys in Vegas during New Year's, she will not allow FOMO to be the reason she buys her girls Labubus.
Sam also shares an update on both the physical and mental recovery from her breast reduction surgery (shark bites are referenced). Then they get into some co-parenting challenges Amanda's been struggling with over books and markers, and the double standards and expectations for "good" dads and moms (if this episode sounds a little Frankensteined, it's because the original episode got a little too angry and off the rails, so they had to rerecord and stitch the episodes together).
(We recorded this a month ago, so spoiler alert: Amanda did allow FOMO to sucker her into buying Labubus for her daughters LOL).
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In this episode, Sam talks about her breast reduction surgery--something she's really wanted for the last couple years--and how shockingly complex and difficult it's been to say goodbye to her identity as Sam with big boobs. She equates the process or shock of how big of a change it was to... pregnancy and going to law school (it makes sense to her!). There are also references to ball sac boobs, dangling water balloons, and headlights. Just listen to the episode--trust us.
Then they dive into DCC - the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders series on Netflix, which Sam has been telling Amanda to watch for over a year and she's finally gotten on the bandwagon. They discuss their favorites, what it means to portray perfection, and how the DCC women's authenticity, kindness, and friendship is what really transcends it all and makes them worth rooting for.
**Disclaimer: we are ABSOLUTELY NOT MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS OR ADVISORS.
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Amanda and Sam are back for season 2! They address theories about why they stopped talking for a few months (maybe they're not struggling anymore? LOL yeah right), and while it's not as juicy as an explosive feud, it does show the realities of how friendships ebb and flow. They had different priorities at the time (Sam on her health, Amanda on her work) and their conversations were bringing up one another's insecurities and no longer motivating one another.
Don't worry though, your favorite brats are back in the same headspace, leaning on each other instead of their therapist, and on the other side of 40 (!!). Most importantly, they're still struggling... with all the health noise out there, whether achievements are only worth it if they're painful, and how to fuel their bodies with protein instead of lollipops and Redbulls. And yes, we talk about being 40 and walking with weighted vests because we're not just brats, we're basic brats.
Thanks for getting back on this ride with us!
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Oh my god, we're back again! Sort of. Sam and Amanda attempt to kick off a season 2 of BABS by explaining why their podcast dropped off the face of the planet and trying to figure out why they mutually stopped talking to each other for the second half of 2024. They recap what's been happening (spoiler alert: trying to fix their broken bodies and broken hearts), revisit season 1 episode 1 and laugh at how dumb those girls were (while trying to have compassion for their naiveté too), and share their goals for their upcoming 40th birthdays.
* It's called Episode 0.5 because they recorded it in January hoping they'd get back into the podcast momentum, but it was a false start. Which is why they haven't posted it till they were sure they have our mojo back for real.
** Amanda references a "lost episode" they recorded in August that she hadn't edited and posted yet, but says she will. ...She won't because she can't find the file anymore on her computer. Oops!
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Amanda and Sam take their first reader submission and discuss the concept of "ominous positivity," which leads them down another path of realizing they don't know what words mean including ominous, meme, and anti-hero.
They go from sounding bitter about men and dating, to sounding literary as they discuss whether Jay Gatsby is an anti-hero. To Sam's horror, they realize that they are in fact just like Gatsby -- unable to let go of the past.
Amanda shares what it was like seeing her ex again, Sam talks about why she wants a boob job, and they both question if they're capable of feeling anything for people anymore.
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Sam is recovering from both a cold and the harsh reality that getting under somebody new doesn't help you get over someone you loved (sorry to Sam's brother who has to listen to this!). After trying a matchmaker and shuffle dating, she's back to the apps and is immediately appalled at the amount of men who ask her if she's a Dom or Sub.
After ranting about the woeful despair of the dating app experience and questionable "conversations" with men, Amanda and Sam get back into deep topics in the second half of the podcast. Sam said she doesn't feel like she's where she's supposed to be and has felt like this for the last 20 years; she wants to go "home" but doesn't know what that means. Amanda shares the self-loathing thoughts she berates herself with everyday, likely from the recent changes, and how she finally reached out to her ex to address the awkwardness of their new work situation.
Then Amanda and Sam struggle to end the podcast on a positive note, and Amanda's still struggling with mic / laptop / sound issues, so apologies if it's a bit hard to hear her at times!
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In true Bay Area brats style, Amanda and Sam talk about getting reorged (as in, their work organization reorganized) and the impact on their mental health. Amanda fell into a depressive episode after her bosses were laid off and she was moved to a team with her ex, but shares what Sam did to help her through some particularly dark thoughts. Just in time to help Sam make some impulsive dating decisions and to get tattoos together. This is how all healthy friendships work, right?
*Trigger warning: This episode does allude to self-harm, so please listen with extreme self-care or avoid if those thoughts are triggering.*
Disclaimer: We are NOT mental or physical health specialists. If you believe you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety, depression, or suicidal ideation, or any other mental health challenges we encourage you to contact your doctor or a medical professional. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, call 911, or go to your local emergency room. For resources on eating disorders, visit https://edrcsv.org/get-help/.
For a great resource to help with understanding depression and anxiety, and advice on how to help and what to say, check out one of our favorites, @realdepressionproject on Instagram.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sam and Amanda talk about anxious attachment again, creating scenarios in their heads and assigning meaning to things in their minds that are not necessarily true (aka causing a freakout), which makes it hard for them and others around them to know what they're really feeling and what they need.
Sam gives an update on where she and her ex stand after she confessed her feelings, and Amanda gives an update about her rollercoaster of a weekend with her cross-country fling. Honestly, both girls are struggling to understand what healthy romantic relationships should look like, how to feel strong and secure in one, and one thing is clear after this podcast... they haven't figured it out at all. But at least they're in it together!
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Well, Amanda and Sam finally made it to the end of February, and they are not well. They recap their week of being apart where Amanda lost her shit on a boat and Sam was tired in Miami, they both forgot their anti-anxiety meds, and worst of all... they were apart and unable to communicate for a couple days.
Amanda is still dealing with anxious attachment, Sam is still getting texts from "friends" guilt-tripping her for not responding, and Amanda's twincesses turned 7! It's an occasion that comes with a trauma anniversary though, so Amanda grapples with that as well as feeling disappointed in her ex.
Disclaimer: We are NOT mental or physical health specialists. If you believe you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety, depression, or suicidal ideation, or any other mental health challenges we encourage you to contact your doctor or a medical professional. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, call 911, or go to your local emergency room. For resources on eating disorders, visit https://edrcsv.org/get-help/.
For a great resource to help with understanding depression and anxiety, and advice on how to help and what to say, check out one of our favorites, @realdepressionproject on Instagram.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This is affectionately referred to as the "grumpy episode," which honestly wasn't going to see the light of day.
Amanda and Sam were being burnt out by the month of February--all good things, but exhausting nonetheless, and they were only halfway through the month at this point!--and they were hella grumpy while recording. Feeling like it was too bratty to post, they were going to shelve it. But after a re-listen, they decided this is the point of the podcast... to be real and share honest conversations about their feelings, especially when they feel uncomfortable and guilty about complaining. It's their realest episode yet.
Also Sam manages to weave in analogies about both Marvel and cat videos. Genius.
Disclaimer: We are NOT mental or physical health specialists. If you believe you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety, depression, or suicidal ideation, or any other mental health challenges we encourage you to contact your doctor or a medical professional. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, call 911, or go to your local emergency room. For resources on eating disorders, visit https://edrcsv.org/get-help/.
For a great resource to help with understanding depression and anxiety, and advice on how to help and what to say, check out one of our favorites, @realdepressionproject on Instagram.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Surprise! It's a supersized episode because Amanda met somebody she's finally excited about--but the twist is he lives across the country and now her anxious attachment has reared its ugly head and she's forgotten how to play it cool. Sam assumes the role of the calm, supportive voice of reason... even though they accidentally manifested F boys coming back from the past and she got a "hey you up?" text from a good time guy (with a dirty bathroom), while still waiting for her ex to respond to her declaration of feelings for him.
Whew, we couldn't make this stuff up if we tried. Let's see how this role reversal works out for them.
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It's been a week, Brats. Amanda shares how the guy she was dating turned out to be the type who says one thing over text but acts a different way in person. Someone said to her, "The universe will keep sending you lessons until you learn it," and her lesson is around setting and holding boundaries with men who keep violating her safe space. Sam did a brave thing (we think) and told her ex she still has feelings for him, and even though Amanda had no idea about any of this, Sam is following what feels right for her. This one ends on a cliffhanger though!
Disclaimer: We are NOT mental or physical health specialists. If you believe you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety, depression, or suicidal ideation, or any other mental health challenges we encourage you to contact your doctor or a medical professional. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, call 911, or go to your local emergency room. If you suspect that you or someone you know has been violated, please know you can always reach out to the National Sexual Assault Hotline at rainn.org/resources.
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After a couple lighter episodes about dating, Amanda and Sam get back to talking about mental health and what depression looks like... because from the outside a person might look completely fine, but you never know what they're struggling with. If there's only one thing you take away from this episode, it's that when someone tells you how they're feeling, believe them. Sam and Amanda also get vulnerable about their struggles with body image and emotional eating.
For a great resource to help with understanding depression and anxiety, and advice on how to help and what to say, check out one of our favorites, @realdepressionproject on Instagram.
Disclaimer: We are NOT mental or physical health specialists. If you believe you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety, depression, or suicidal ideation, or any other mental health challenges we encourage you to contact your doctor or a medical professional. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, call 911, or go to your local emergency room. For resources on eating disorders, visit https://edrcsv.org/get-help/.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
