Ellie (32) and Paige (30) are sisters who were diagnosed late with autism and ADHD (AuDHD). However, the way it manifests in them doesn't look the same. With AuDHD only becoming an official diagnosis in 2013, the lack of research not only resulted in late diagnosis and mental health issues, but also left Ellie and Paige feeling alone and confused. This podcast is a space where Ellie and Paige share their experiences, in the hopes it will help others. It explores the vast manifestations of neurodivergence and emphasises how even sisters with the same condition can look completely different.
// Diagnosed late, here to educate // INSTAGRAM, TIKTOK, YOUTUBE @wtfisaudhdpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ellie (32) and Paige (30) are sisters who were diagnosed late with autism and ADHD (AuDHD). However, the way it manifests in them doesn't look the same. With AuDHD only becoming an official diagnosis in 2013, the lack of research not only resulted in late diagnosis and mental health issues, but also left Ellie and Paige feeling alone and confused. This podcast is a space where Ellie and Paige share their experiences, in the hopes it will help others. It explores the vast manifestations of neurodivergence and emphasises how even sisters with the same condition can look completely different.
// Diagnosed late, here to educate // INSTAGRAM, TIKTOK, YOUTUBE @wtfisaudhdpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
For so many neurodivergent people, friendships can feel confusing, draining, or just out of reach. In this episode we open up about growing up lonely, the ache of wanting connection, and how RSD can destablise you from reality. We touch on a listener submission - should you tell your friends about your diagnosis? We also share how our dogs have helped us with being at peace in our own company and have also helped with our general motivation!
Vote for us at the NZ Podcast Awards for Listener's Choice! VOTE HERE.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Paige is back! If you've always secretly found travelling stressful and wondered why it looks so fun for everyone else - we see you. In this episode, we’re unpacking why holidays and travel can feel so overwhelming as a neurodivergent person. Freshly off the plane, Paige reflects on her recent trip and what accomodations she made for herself. We talk about why AuDHDers find travelling stressful and also reflect on some recent listener Reddit posts about perimenopause.
VOTE FOR US (if you want) at the NZ PODCAST AWARDS for Listener's Choice! VOTE HERE.
SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
What about the after part of ADHD diagnosis? Bree Tomasel joins us for a follow up chat about her diagnosis experience and feelings. Bree shares her experience with the weird limbo of diagnosis imposter syndrome, the long road to getting meds right (four years, no joke), and she shares advice and things she's learned that have helped her.
Paige is back next week! Also, if you'd like to vote our podcast for Listener's Choice at the NZ Podcast Awards, you can do that here.
SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast // Linktree
Follow @breetomasel
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The hilarious and wildly talented Bree Tomasel - broadcaster, creator, and late-diagnosed ADHDer - joins Ellie for a candid chat. Bree opens up about a lifetime of masking - not just her ADHD, but her anxiety and even her sexuality - and how she shaped her own career, while sometimes feeling 'dumb'. We hear about what she was like as an undiagnosed child and some of the early signs she now sees in hindsight. We talk about imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and how Bree channels her ADHD energy into sport and humour. Plus, Bree will be back next week for another chat where we debrief on life after diagnosis, self-acceptance, and what’s changed since learning she’s neurodivergent.
Follow Bree: Instagram
SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Happy ADHD Awareness Month! Ellie is back with her partner Sam for another candid chat about life with ADHD, and life as an neurodivergent couple. This week we explore what we wish people knew about ADHD, why feedback is so crucial for us as ADHDers, and we share the ways we've learned to split responsibilities at home. We also talk honestly about why ADHDers can be so tough on themselves and answer some more of your listener questions.
SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this week’s episode, Ellie's ADHD partner Sam is back to share the story of their relationship - navigating conflict, emotional regulation, and yes, how they deal with intimacy. From being good friends and retrospectively noticing early signs of undiagnosed ADHD and AuDHD to how they’ve learned to grow together, they open up and celebrate the strengths that neurodivergence brings into their lives. It’s a candid and vulnerable look at what it means for Ellie and Sam to love and live as an ND couple, in the hopes of helping others feel seen when it comes to the trials and tribulations of finding love and a partnership.
Join our private Reddit community!
SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode Paige is on holiday, so Ellie sits down with her partner Sam to talk about his journey with late-diagnosed ADHD. From childhood challenges and misunderstood behaviours, to the coping mechanisms he developed along the way, to the huge relief (and grief) of finally getting a diagnosis - we dig into what life looked like before and after. Sam shares how he found his career as a young social media star, why it helped him process his emotions pre-diagnosis and he opens up about struggling with emotional regulation.
Next week we’ll chat with Sam again, and dive into what it’s like to navigate a relationship together as two neurodivergent people.
SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast
Follow Sam - @samjrmorgan (Instagram)
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Just like last episode, we're going through a common autism screener (Autism Quotient) and discussing the limitations of these questions (especially if you might be AuDHD). While tools like this can be a helpful first step, they also have major blind spots - especially around masking, nuance, and gender differences. We share the answers we gave in our actual screeners from a few years back and disuss why lived experience needs to be an important part of neurodevelopmental assessments.
SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
If you’ve ever taken an ADHD screener and thought, “Well, that didn’t feel accurate…” you’re not alone! In this episode, we walk through the 18 questions you're generally asked in New Zealand, to work out whether you are "worth" further assessment for ADHD. We go through the screener, answer them as AuDHDers, and show why screeners don't always capture the full picture - especially if you’ve spent years masking, you've got trauma or other diagnoses. There are so many limitations to these screeners, and we hope this episode gives you more confidence in your interpretation of them.
Here's the link to the screener we are referencing.
SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast
Join our private Reddit community - link in our LINKTREE
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Meet our ADHD Dad, Grant! He was born in the 60s - in a generation that barely knew anything about neurodivergence. Dad went through school, work, parenting, literally everything without a diagnosis until much later in life, and unfortunately his parents had passed away before he was diagnosed. In this episode, Grant shares what it’s like to piece together your story backwards, how late diagnosis changed the way he sees himself, what it's like getting ADHD coaching and we discuss the generational differences in awareness and stigma. He also reflects on some hilarious stories from his childhood (that now make sense after getting his diagnosis). We're really grateful for our Dad's vulnerabilty and the advice he shares from his own lived experience.
SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, we explore Pathological Demand Avoidance (more compassionately known as Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) - a profile most often linked with autism that goes far beyond being just being “stubborn.” We break down what PDA is, our understanding of it and how it's appeared in our life, and why everyday requests can feel overwhelming or even threatening - even if the demand is from within your own mind. We share personal stories of when demands have triggered resistance (sometimes without us even realising why), and unpack the differences between ADHD task resistance and PDA driven task resistance.
Again, please use this episode as a jump-off to do your own research!
SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast
Join our private Reddit community! Link in our Linktree
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, we open up about our personal journeys with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and other gastrointestinal / autoimmune issues we've experienced, using hindsight to recognise it may have all been linked to our autism and ADHD (stress!). We start exploring the connection between the brain and the gut, including how our stomach microbiome impacts our brain. We dive into emerging research linking neurodivergence with physical health and common correlations. This episode isn’t medical advice, but more a conversation to spark curiosity. We encourage you to do your own research but we just wanted to remind you that you’re not the only one with a gassy gut!
Find the research article we reference HERE.
Join our private community on Reddit - direct link in our Linktree.
SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transitions can be some of the hardest moments for people with ADHD, autism, or both - even when we’re looking forward to what’s next. Paige and Ellie have had a few ephiphanies recently about how transitions have affected them throughout their life. In this episode, we explore why shifting from one activity, environment, or phase of life can feel so dysregulating, and how neurodivergent inertia plays into it. We unpack our own personal struggless and offer tips for supporting yourself and your kids through transitions.
SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dr Khurram Sadiq is back for part two where we dig into common misdiagnoses, masking, family dynamics, and how to truly identify AuDHD traits. We also touch on workplace accommodations, co-occurring conditions like OCD and PMDD, and how to manage burnout and executive dysfunction (especially when medication isn’t accessible or effective). Dr Sadiq offers grounded advice and hope to anyone navigating late diagnosis, uncertainty, or feeling "too much" for the world.
Win a signed copy of Dr Khurram Sadiq's new book - Explaining AuDHD! Head over to our Instagram @wtfisaudhdpodcast to enter.
Key moments:
1:50 – If one sibling is neurodivergent, does that mean the others are too? Genetics, family traits, and environment explained
3:50 – How undiagnosed neurodivergent parents can unknowingly impact their kids - and themselves
5:20 – When a child’s diagnosis leads to the parent’s lightbulb moment
6:34 – The most common misdiagnoses (and what clinicians often miss)
8:50 – Why all clinicians need better training to recognise neurodevelopmental conditions
11:12 – The biggest blind spots in current diagnostic practices - and how they affect adults especially
13:20 – How do you really know if you’re AuDHD - and not “just” ADHD or autistic?
18:34 – The link between OCD and neurodivergence: is it a separate condition or a secondary outcome?
21:06 – Why masking is subconscious - and how to begin unmasking safely
24:45 – Practical ways businesses and workplaces can better accommodate AuDHDers
29:38 – Managing life with AuDHD: realistic tips from lived experience
34:20 – Why content, podcasts, and peer education are critical to self-understanding
35:45 – The latest research on AuDHD that we should be paying attention to
37:50 – What’s the connection between neurodivergence and tic disorders?
39:59 – Dr Sadiq shares new insight into PMDD and neurodivergence
42:32 – How to handle AuDHD burnout - especially when you're trying to do everything
46:26 – What to do when medication isn’t working - or you can’t access it
50:21 – Assimilate or opt out? The hard choices AuDHDers face around work, education, and parenting
54:05 – Final reflections: a message to every neurodivergent person trying their best in a world not built for them
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dr Khurram Sadiq - renowned psychiatrist and AuDHDer - joins us to help explain AuDHD. In this powerful first half of our conversation, we unpack his own diagnostic journey, what it means to live between ADHD and autism, and why this combination deserves more recognition. We explore how gender, culture, and systemic pressures influence diagnosis, and why many of us are missed or misunderstood for decades. Dr Sadiq also shares his perspective on whether ADHD and autism exist on a shared spectrum - and how we can begin to differentiate between similar traits. Part two of our chat is out next week!
Win a signed copy of Dr Khurram Sadiq's new book - Explaining AuDHD! Head over to our Instagram @wtfisaudhdpodcast to enter.
Key moments:
4:39 – Dr Sadiq shares his upbringing and the early signs of neurodivergence he experienced, including the emotional toll of trying to conform in a neurotypical world
15:04 – The unexpected journey that led him into mental health
17:20 – How Dr Sadiq came to be diagnosed as AuDHD himself
23:15 – What he now recognises in hindsight from his childhood and adolescence
26:13 – Why he chose to specialise in autism + ADHD - and what he's learned from that path
27:15 – How he believes neurodivergence should be diagnosed - and what’s missing in the current system
30:21 – Dr Sadiq breaks down how he defines ADHD, autism, and how they overlap
34:19 – A compelling story of a woman who denied her diagnosis - and what that says about stigma
36:35 – What really “causes” neurodivergent conditions? Dr Sadiq explains what the research tells us (and what it doesn’t)
37:45 – A fascinating hypothesis about genetics and brain development
41:35 – How gender, culture, and hormones all impact how neurodevelopmental conditions manifest - and why women and AFAB people are often missed
44:41 – How societal expectations around women’s roles can delay diagnosis and support
46:07 – How systemic pressure (not just individual traits) influences how autism and ADHD show up
48:45 – Are autism and ADHD truly separate conditions - or part of a shared spectrum?
50:58 – How to tell the difference between autistic “indifference” and ADHD “inattention"
52:58 – Distraction or sensory overload? Understanding how they can look the same but feel different
55:15 – Why some ADHDers speak without a filter, while autistic people often struggle with social nuance
58:30 – Is it over-talking, or talking with passion?
59:56 – The paradoxes of living with AuDHD - where traits seem to contradict themselves.
1:01:30 – Understanding the spectrum of autism: what's the difference between profound autism and levels 1–3?
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week, we’re diving into a big one: having children as an AuDHD adult. Neither of us are parents (yet - or possibly ever), so this is not a how-to, but an open conversation about the thoughts, fears, and feelings we have around parenting as neurodivergent people.
We speak honestly about the differences in our perspectives (Paige and Ellie don’t feel the same way!), and share the thoughts and experiences sent in by our community - from those who are already parenting with AuDHD, to those who’ve chosen not to, and everything in between.
One day, we’ll revisit this topic with actual parents and experts - but for now, consider this a first step in holding space for the complicated and very human feelings that come with the idea of having kids when your brain is wired like ours.
@wtfisaudhdpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
We're diving into what it’s really like navigating work with AuDHD. We chat about our personal job histories - the burnout, the boredom, the passion, and the pivots - and why sticking to one career path can feel impossible. If you’ve ever loved and hated your job at the same time, or blamed yourself for not being “cut out” for work, this one’s for you. You’re not lazy - you’re likely unsupported. We also remind you (and ourselves) to not lose self-compassion - it's so important to not turn on yourself!
SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Why is AuDHD so hard to manage and treat? In this episode, we explore lived contradictions of having both ADHD and autism - where one part of your brain craves routine and the other thrives on chaos, often resulting in burnout. We share real-life examples from ourselves and you - our listeners! We unpack why treatments often fall short, and highlight how young the concept of AuDHD really is - including in clinical settings.
Join our private Reddit community!
SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, we’re excited to be joined by Mike Cochrane (@nzpsychologyclinic), a Clinical Psychologist and fellow AuDHDer who specialises in Autistic, ADHD and AuDHD assessments. We had an insightful and validating chat about life with an AuDHD brain.
Together, we unpack:
We thoroughly enjoyed this chat and if you'd like more information about Mike Cochrane and his diagnosis process, head to nzpsychologyclinic.co.nz
SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Autism or trauma - or both? In today’s episode, we (very basically) unpack the complex relationship between Complex PTSD (CPTSD) and autism. We explore the ways the two can look similar, why autistic people are more likely to experience trauma, and why it’s so important to approach self-identification with care and curiosity. We reflect on personal experiences, share research insights, and offer guidance for anyone navigating these diagnoses.
With so many of you finding value in our conversations, we thought it was important to touch on this point. This episode only scrapes the top level of this topic so we strongly encourage you to do your own research.
Neurodivergent insights article we reference: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/ptsd-and-autism/
SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.