Maximize your odds of a bang with the torment of your dreams:

1. Always talk about the girls you are dating, fucking, or seeking the same from to your girl “friend”.

2. Limit your friendzone time to drinking, shows, art exhibits, and house parties.

3. Immediately and without qualification change the subject when your girl “friend” begins talking about a guy she likes, or the dudes she’s fucking or wants to fuck.

4. Don’t make a production of her wistful musings about other guys, though.

5. You’re going to want to invoke feelings of latent jealousy as much as possible.

6. Use her as a target for practicing your teasing skills.

7. Once in a while, she’s going to unload that “I fucked a hot dude last night” conversation bomb. Do not react negatively.

8. Your one advantage, if you can call it that, is that you are the guy who is “there for her” when times are tough and she needs a shoulder to cry on. Occasionally, like when Jupiter aligns with Uranus and her oxytocin levels are off the charts, a girl will feel strong intimate feelings for the emotionally available and sensitive beta male. That’s when you leap in.

9. Finally, preemptively dump her after the first time you bang her. Yes that’s right, unceremoniously dump the girl of your dreams.

10. If you are slow to act, and she manages to “dump” you first, you have a counter maneuver. Agree with her. Then in the days immediately following, cut off all contact for a few weeks – or months, as the circumstances require.