Editors’ Notes: “I want to give everybody the tools to solve their own etiquette problems,” says Nick Leighton, cohost and producer of Were You Raised by Wolves?, a weekly podcast in which he and cohost Leah Bonnema look into the many sticky social situations we all face. “With each of the questions that we get, from the bonkers to the ordinary, I always try to take a step back and ask, ‘What are the bigger principles here?’ I'm always looking for topics that help us make a larger point.” In each episode, Leighton, a two-time Emmy Award-winning journalist, and Bonnema, a comic/writer, share practical advice on how to navigate a wide range of situations, from the serious to the whimsical—whether they tackle interrupting excessive talkers, establishing healthy boundaries with coworkers, or the proper way to eat Cheetos.
When they developed the show in 2019, Leighton and Bonnema had one goal in mind: to have empathy for other people. Their informal conversations tackle a mix of personal topics, viewer questions, and the occasional historical fact with warmth and positivity and humor. Leighton views this approach as an antidote to a lot of the negativity he sees in the online world, while Bonnema thinks the show’s premise is a natural fit for her situational style of comedy. “A lot of my comedy is about events where I’m like, ‘What just happened here?’ or where I embarrass myself,” she says. “And, ironically, all of these fall under the guise of etiquette, where you either feel aggrieved or you feel like you committed some sort of social crime. I just loved the topic.”
Leighton and Bonnema credit the show’s ongoing success to their work ethic. They haven’t missed a single week since they launched the show, which recently hit a new milestone: 100 episodes. But what they value the most, above all else, is how they've built a community of listeners from all backgrounds. “We have conservative grandmothers in Tallahassee to nonbinary chefs in Seattle and everybody in between,” he says. “Because who among us has not experienced an etiquette crime? This is universal.”
---
Etiquette, manners, and beyond! Join Emmy® Award-winning journalist Nick Leighton and acclaimed comedian Leah Bonnema ("Late Show with Stephen Colbert"), the perfect odd couple, as they try to make the world a nicer, more polite place and offer up practical advice to help you smoothly glide through any situation. Please listen and follow! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
All content for Were You Raised By Wolves? is the property of Nick Leighton and is served directly from their servers
with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
Editors’ Notes: “I want to give everybody the tools to solve their own etiquette problems,” says Nick Leighton, cohost and producer of Were You Raised by Wolves?, a weekly podcast in which he and cohost Leah Bonnema look into the many sticky social situations we all face. “With each of the questions that we get, from the bonkers to the ordinary, I always try to take a step back and ask, ‘What are the bigger principles here?’ I'm always looking for topics that help us make a larger point.” In each episode, Leighton, a two-time Emmy Award-winning journalist, and Bonnema, a comic/writer, share practical advice on how to navigate a wide range of situations, from the serious to the whimsical—whether they tackle interrupting excessive talkers, establishing healthy boundaries with coworkers, or the proper way to eat Cheetos.
When they developed the show in 2019, Leighton and Bonnema had one goal in mind: to have empathy for other people. Their informal conversations tackle a mix of personal topics, viewer questions, and the occasional historical fact with warmth and positivity and humor. Leighton views this approach as an antidote to a lot of the negativity he sees in the online world, while Bonnema thinks the show’s premise is a natural fit for her situational style of comedy. “A lot of my comedy is about events where I’m like, ‘What just happened here?’ or where I embarrass myself,” she says. “And, ironically, all of these fall under the guise of etiquette, where you either feel aggrieved or you feel like you committed some sort of social crime. I just loved the topic.”
Leighton and Bonnema credit the show’s ongoing success to their work ethic. They haven’t missed a single week since they launched the show, which recently hit a new milestone: 100 episodes. But what they value the most, above all else, is how they've built a community of listeners from all backgrounds. “We have conservative grandmothers in Tallahassee to nonbinary chefs in Seattle and everybody in between,” he says. “Because who among us has not experienced an etiquette crime? This is universal.”
---
Etiquette, manners, and beyond! Join Emmy® Award-winning journalist Nick Leighton and acclaimed comedian Leah Bonnema ("Late Show with Stephen Colbert"), the perfect odd couple, as they try to make the world a nicer, more polite place and offer up practical advice to help you smoothly glide through any situation. Please listen and follow! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle saving seats in Singapore, avoiding unnecessary meetings, bringing your own sodas to parties, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ask.wyrbw.com
EPISODE CONTENTS
AMUSE-BOUCHE: Chope-ing in Singapore
A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Does this need to be a meeting?
QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: What should I do about friends who bring their own fountain sodas to my parties? Should we let our house guests use our master bedroom?
VENT OR REPENT: Bad audience members, Too much glassware
CORDIALS OF KINDNESS: Thanks to old friends, A nice message
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
The Newton Food Center scene from "Crazy Rich Asians"
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TRANSCRIPT
Episode 274
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about pour water like wine, breaking up before weddings, tossing hair on flooors, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS:
Why was water poured like wine at a recent restaurant visit?
When entering a room where others are already gathered, whose responsibility is it to do the initial greeting?
What do we do about a couple invited to our wedding who recently broke up?
How do I invite just my friend over for dinner and not any of the friends she’s traveling with?
Is it normal to toss hair strands on the floor when visiting a friend’s house?
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
Slate: "How One Librarian Tried to Squash Goodnight Moon"
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TRANSCRIPT
Episode 273
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle inviting thirteen guests to dinner, attending pool parties, hogging laundry machines in apartment buildings, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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EPISODE CONTENTS
AMUSE-BOUCHE: Thirteen dinner guests
A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Pool parties
QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: Is it rude to use both of my apartment building's laundry machines at the same time? When a house guest, what is the proper etiquette for when to wake up and join one's hosts in the morning?
VENT OR REPENT: Releasing doves, Couches at "The Clock"
CORDIALS OF KINDNESS: Thanks for the dog rescue, Thanks for the cookies
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
Kaspar at the Savoy Hotel
"The Clock" by Christian Marclay
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TRANSCRIPT
Episode 272
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! This week, Nick and Leah are enjoying a well-deserved break, but they'll be back next week with an all-new episode. In the meantime, here's one of their favorite episodes from the archives in which they answer listener questions about demanding birthday cake, putting time limits on meals, getting nosy at the pharmacy, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS:
Is it rude to ask for birthday cake before the guest of honor blows out the candles?
Is it OK to be salty for not receiving any thank you for helping at my friend's wedding?
What is the time limit for someone to finish their meal?
How do I get people to not send an RSVP to my BBQ invitation?
Bonkers: Nosy at the pharmacy
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
New York Times: "On Language: Have Your Cake and Eat It Too"
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CREDITS
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TRANSCRIPT
Episode 191
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! This week, Nick and Leah are enjoying a well-deserved break, but they'll be back soon with an all-new episode. In the meantime, here's one of their favorite episodes from the archives in which they tackle showing up at dinner parties empty-handed, riding elevators in France, being unapologetic about having nice weekends, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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EPISODE CONTENTS
AMUSE-BOUCHE: What to say in a French elevator
A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: What to bring to a dinner party
QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: How to respond when someone says, "must be nice"? In a walk-up building, can you buzz people in or do you have to personally greet them at the building's front door?
VENT OR REPENT: A not-important email, TV Spoilers
CORDIALS OF KINDNESS: Supporting others, Bagging groceries at the supermarket
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
French elevator etiquette on YouTube
Belle says "Bonjour" in "Beauty and the Beast"
Andrew Wyeth's "Christina's World"
"Out of this World" Episode 1
MC Escher's Relativity
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CREDITS
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Producer & Editor: Nick Leighton
Theme Music: Rob Paravonian
TRANSCRIPT
Episode 72
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about abandoning dinner guests, running into former students, singing happy birthday, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS:
How would you react if a friend invites you to stay for dinner, but then has you eat in the kitchen while she goes to the dining room to eat with her family separately?
Should I tell my friend that I won’t be attending a Zoom exercise class anymore because of an awkward email exchange with the instructor?
I’m a middle school teacher…what should I do when I run into former students in public?
How do we decline food from our overly generous neighbor?
What do you do when someone is singing "Happy Birthday" to you?
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
#SwedenGate
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CREDITS
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TRANSCRIPT
Episode 271
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle responding to invitations formally, watching and playing tennis, dipping french fries, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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EPISODE CONTENTS
AMUSE-BOUCHE: Formally responding to invitations
A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Tennis
QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: What's the most polite way to cut cookies to share in an office? Should I be bothered that my boyfriend's friend doesn't also bring me a beverage?
VENT OR REPENT: Eating french fries at a party, Returning phone calls
CORDIALS OF KINDNESS: Thanks for the cookies, Book event at the Strand
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
Nebraska Brand Committee
William Hanson's new book: "Just Good Manners"
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CREDITS
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TRANSCRIPT
Episode 270
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about brushing your teeth in airport bathrooms, taking desserts from buffets, handling unwanted vacation guests, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS:
Is it OK to brush your teeth in an airport bathroom?
When dessert is offered on a buffet, is it incorrect to take it along with the rest of the meal?
What should I do about a friend who likes to save seats for a performance and then leave the venue?
What to do about a friend who invited their daughter on our vacation without asking?
What should I do when I'm trying to walk by someone, but we both keep trying to go the same way?
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
Konpira Fune Fune
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CREDITS
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TRANSCRIPT
Episode 269
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle flipping over cutlery, making friends in kindergarten, choosing cup holders at sporting events, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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EPISODE CONTENTS
AMUSE-BOUCHE: Reversing cutlery on the table
A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Making friends in kindergarten
QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: How should we handle a dinner invitation after a breakup? When attending a sporting event, which cup holder is yours?
VENT OR REPENT: Upselling makeup, Wearing too much perfume
CORDIALS OF KINDNESS: Thanks for the hospitality, Thanks for hosting in Los Angeles
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
"Terminator 2" opening scene
Designer Imposters Fragrance commercial from 1988
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CREDITS
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TRANSCRIPT
Episode 268
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about mowing laws without asking, coordinating invitation responses, dressing for theme weddings, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS:
What do we do about our neighbor who mowed half of our lawn without our permission?
Should couples coordinate their responses to invitations?
How do I get my colleague to stop knocking on the door before entering our shared office?
What to do about dinner party guests who were more than 15 minutes late?
Are your outfits supposed to match the theme of a wedding?
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
No Mow May
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CREDITS
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TRANSCRIPT
Episode 267
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! This week, Nick and Leah are enjoying a well-deserved break, but they'll be back next week with an all-new episode. In the meantime, here's one of their favorite episodes from the archives in which they tackle crashing White House weddings, stealing flowers from neighbors, charging phones in public, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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EPISODE CONTENTS
AMUSE-BOUCHE: Judith Martin and the Nixon Administration
A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Repetition
QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: Is it OK for my neighbor to take flowers from my yard without my permission? Is it rude for a woman to keep eating after her partner has finished?
VENT OR REPENT: Blocking traffic, Charging phones
CORDIALS OF KINDNESS: A custom t-shirt, A nice email
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
Judith Martin: In defense of ‘women’s pages’
A fan's FSR t-shirt
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CREDITS
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TRANSCRIPT
Episode 194
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle playing Duck Duck Goose in Minnesota, sending out-of-office emails, taking free food samples, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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EPISODE CONTENTS
AMUSE-BOUCHE: Duck Duck Grey Duck
A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Out of Office Emails
QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: How many and what type of items are you allowed to purchase at the pharmacy counter? What's the proper way to take a free food sample at a store? Reviewing a key detail from a previous question about sending anonymous birthday cards
VENT OR REPENT: Changing the focus, Stealing cabs
CORDIALS OF KINDNESS: Thanks to everyone who came to see our live show in Los Angeles
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
Previous episode about anonymous birthday card
Nick and Leah on the "Tamron Hall Show"
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CREDITS
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TRANSCRIPT
Episode 266
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about pulling out chairs for others, sharing photos with AI, making unreasonable demands, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS:
What do you do when a gentleman pulls out your chair?
What is the etiquette around sharing images of people to AI?
How can I shut down rude comments about my early retirement?
Is it ever acceptable to research someone’s details online before meeting them in person?
Bonkers: Being asked to switch classes at a spin studio
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
Studio Ghibli on Wikipedia
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CREDITS
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TRANSCRIPT
Episode 265
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle seating dinner party guests, getting spray tans, using fake return addresses, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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EPISODE CONTENTS
AMUSE-BOUCHE: Dinner party seating
A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Getting a spray tan
QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: If a gift requires assembly, should you give it assembled or unassembled? Bonkers: Sending birthday cards with fake return addresses
VENT OR REPENT: Women with long nails, The London Underground
CORDIALS OF KINDNESS: Thanks to Rambo, Thanks for the birthday dinner
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
Big Ben and Parliament scene in "National Lampoon's European Vacation"
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TRANSCRIPT
Episode 264
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about scheduling appointments with "ish," chewing food while on the telephone, socializing at galas, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS:
What does "ish" mean when scheduling meetings?
What can I say to people who chew food in my ear while we're talking on the phone?
Should event photos be sent to all invitees, even those that couldn't attend?
What date should we engrave on a wedding gift when the official marriage date is different from the ceremony?
What are good conversation starters when at charity and gala events?
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
AOL commercial from 1995
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CREDITS
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TRANSCRIPT
Episode 263
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle handling hot potatoes, claiming seats at buffets, talking during musicals, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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EPISODE CONTENTS
AMUSE-BOUCHE: Baked Potatoes
A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Host gifts that are not wine
QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: What's the correct way to claim a seat at a buffet? What to say when a stranger asks if my best friend and I are mother and daughter?
VENT OR REPENT: Refusing hops seltzers, Talking during a musical
CORDIALS OF KINDNESS: Thanks for the turkey information, Smiling on airplanes
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
Taters scene in "Lord of the Rings"
List of things to bring other than wine
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TRANSCRIPT
Episode 262
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! This week, Nick and Leah are enjoying a well-deserved break, but they'll be back next week with an all-new episode. In the meantime, here's one of their favorite episodes from the archives in which they answer listener questions about objecting to marriages, watching strangers' luggage, asking for more chairs, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS:
How should I handle my sister-in law who doesn't think I should be married to her brother?
How should we respond to strangers asking us to watch their belongings?
How do you send invitations or thank you notes when you don't know the recipient's address?
Is there a polite way to suggest to my brother that he should have enough dining chairs for everyone?
Bonkers: An undisclosed dress code for a wedding rehearsal dinner
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
Trailer for "Freaky Friday" movie
Zafu and Zazen on Wikipedia
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TRANSCRIPT
Episode 211
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! This week, Nick and Leah are enjoying a well-deserved break, but they'll be back soon with an all-new episode. In the meantime, here's one of their favorite episodes from the archives in which they tackle sending signals in restaurants with cutlery, going to art gallery openings, flushing dog poop down toilets, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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EPISODE CONTENTS
AMUSE-BOUCHE: Signals you can send with your cutlery
A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Art galleries
QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: How do I break the news to my sister and best friend that I can't attend their weddings? What do I do about a group gift that's going over budget? How do I stop my friend who is flushing dog poop down my toilet?
VENT OR REPENT: Unexpected houseguests, Asking for receipts
CORDIALS OF KINDNESS: Happy anniversary, A nice review
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
Incorrect Table Etiquette Infographic
Breakfast TV (Toronto): "Can you read this cutlery etiquette language?"
Naoshima, Japan
Mona (Museum of Old and New Art) in Hobart
Venice Biennale
NY Times: "How Not To Look Like A Dope In an Art Gallery" (1997)
EPA "Pick Up After Your Pet" Brochure (PDF)
NYC Department of Sanitation Dog Laws
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CREDITS
Hosts: Nick Leighton & Leah Bonnema
Producer & Editor: Nick Leighton
Theme Music: Rob Paravonian
TRANSCRIPT
Episode 108
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about waiving back to someone by mistake, handling bad haircuts, separating your groceries on supermarket checkout belts, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ask.wyrbw.com
QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS:
What do you do if you think someone is waving at you and you wave back but they were actually waving at the person behind you?
What do you do if you get a bad haircut at a barbershop?
In a grocery store, who should put up the separation barrier on the belt?
Is two hours enough notice for people wanting to be houseguests?
Said To My Face: “I don’t really know her.”
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
Pea Soup Andersen's
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Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter
Visit our official website
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CREDITS
Hosts: Nick Leighton & Leah Bonnema
Producer & Editor: Nick Leighton
Theme Music: Rob Paravonian
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TRANSCRIPT
Episode 261
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle vacationing at all-inclusive resorts, demanding cash donations at weddings, using other people's Waterpiks, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ask.wyrbw.com
EPISODE CONTENTS
AMUSE-BOUCHE: Broadway's Legacy Robe
A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: All-inclusive Resorts
QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: What does "voluntary cash donation required" mean on a wedding invitation? What should I do about my father-in-law who has been using my Waterpik?
VENT OR REPENT: Filling up an entire water bottle, Serving prune juice and tongue for breakfast
CORDIALS OF KINDNESS: Thanks to a teenager, Thanks to Virgin Atlantic
THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW
Legacy Robe Ceremony at "Death Becomes Her"
YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO...
Support our show through Patreon
Subscribe and rate us 5 stars on Apple Podcasts
Call, text, or email us your questions
Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter
Visit our official website
Sign up for our newsletter
Buy some fabulous official merchandise
CREDITS
Hosts: Nick Leighton & Leah Bonnema
Producer & Editor: Nick Leighton
Theme Music: Rob Paravonian
ADVERTISE ON OUR SHOW
Click here for details
TRANSCRIPT
Episode 260
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Editors’ Notes: “I want to give everybody the tools to solve their own etiquette problems,” says Nick Leighton, cohost and producer of Were You Raised by Wolves?, a weekly podcast in which he and cohost Leah Bonnema look into the many sticky social situations we all face. “With each of the questions that we get, from the bonkers to the ordinary, I always try to take a step back and ask, ‘What are the bigger principles here?’ I'm always looking for topics that help us make a larger point.” In each episode, Leighton, a two-time Emmy Award-winning journalist, and Bonnema, a comic/writer, share practical advice on how to navigate a wide range of situations, from the serious to the whimsical—whether they tackle interrupting excessive talkers, establishing healthy boundaries with coworkers, or the proper way to eat Cheetos.
When they developed the show in 2019, Leighton and Bonnema had one goal in mind: to have empathy for other people. Their informal conversations tackle a mix of personal topics, viewer questions, and the occasional historical fact with warmth and positivity and humor. Leighton views this approach as an antidote to a lot of the negativity he sees in the online world, while Bonnema thinks the show’s premise is a natural fit for her situational style of comedy. “A lot of my comedy is about events where I’m like, ‘What just happened here?’ or where I embarrass myself,” she says. “And, ironically, all of these fall under the guise of etiquette, where you either feel aggrieved or you feel like you committed some sort of social crime. I just loved the topic.”
Leighton and Bonnema credit the show’s ongoing success to their work ethic. They haven’t missed a single week since they launched the show, which recently hit a new milestone: 100 episodes. But what they value the most, above all else, is how they've built a community of listeners from all backgrounds. “We have conservative grandmothers in Tallahassee to nonbinary chefs in Seattle and everybody in between,” he says. “Because who among us has not experienced an etiquette crime? This is universal.”
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! Join Emmy® Award-winning journalist Nick Leighton and acclaimed comedian Leah Bonnema ("Late Show with Stephen Colbert"), the perfect odd couple, as they try to make the world a nicer, more polite place and offer up practical advice to help you smoothly glide through any situation. Please listen and follow! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)