If a movie is called "Tiger Cruise," you expect tigers. And if that movie is set on 9/11, you expect the tigers to be fighting terrorists. Double fail.

We miss when this show was mostly about Angie Harmon in a bikini.

A soldier on a superstrength serum fights a red-faced Nazi? Where have we seen that before?

Can slow motion bouncing defeat slow moving blob?

There's worse reasons to watch a movie than the promise of a Scarlett Johansson upskirt.

Hey Baywatch Nights producers, we watched "Species" too. But not "Species 2."

It's just not the same without Alyssa Milano's boobs.

The beginning of Baywatch Nights: X-Files Edition.

What kind of deranged person fantasizes about spending time with Morrisey?

The Beach Boys wish they were as cool as the Heat Rays.

We're pretty sure the only reason anyone likes this movie is because Liv Tyler strips down to her underwear.

Offering unscrupulous landlords free cable comes in quite handy for a detective.

Zombie boobs. At least there's that.

Don't challenge David Hasselhoff to a game of racquetball. He will crush you.

We think Velvet Al downloaded the wrong video.

We apologize for ruining Easter for you.

Shouldn't the title "Epilogue" have been saved for the finale?

This film was made possible due to tax cuts from the country of Serbia. We believe that makes "Slotherhouse" an international war crime.

Why do killers set so many arbitrary rules upon themselves?

Is it just us or is that chicken in the cheerleader outfit kind of hot? Bonus: A sitcom pilot so bad it manages to make Rodney Dangerfield unfunny.