Brace yourself for one of the wildest divorce with children stories ever. You won’t believe it when you hear it but this does have a happ(ier) ending!

On this episode, the ladies of Vaginance are joined by our dear friend and badass mortgage broker Arien Bowersock.

VagGUYnance* in the house! You heard from us, now you get to hear what our partners thought of the Fair Play Deck experiment plus an update from Taylor & Joey on how it’s been going the past 6 months.



In this episode, we discuss our partners’ experiences with the fair play deck for dividing household tasks. They emphasize open communication, personalized decks, clear communication, stand-up meetings, and support in a healthy partnership.







*Maggie’s fiancée Phil is clearly not a ‘guy’ but she has allowed us to affectionately call all four of our partners Vaguynance because a clever play on words is too rare to pass up.

How do you and your partner divvy up everything that must be done? Are you living the utopian dream of equal partnership? We tested out the Fair Play Deck for this episode. Some of us liked it, some of us struggled with it, everyone had thoughts!

Hangout with us as we rehash everything great and terrible from the past year. Guess who no longer has a hot doctor and who now has a dog! Find out what happened to our net worth, where we’re headed in our careers and what our financial plans are for 2023!

Finally released almost a year after recording it, we promise this episode was worth the wait! We’re joined by special guest Megan as we explore pitfalls of dying with money in your bank account and why you shouldn’t wait until retirement to live out your dream life experiences. This book will either validate the wild and reckless decisions you’ve made or encourage you to save a little less and live a lot more.




* Die With Zero | Book



* Bridget Casey’s Badass Die With Zero Spreadsheet



* Since we recorded this episode, Bridget Casey & Alyssa Davies have actually started a podcast and they have a great Die With Zero episode! Check it out: Money Feels Podcast

Maggie’s amazing fiancé Phil joins us to talk about sexuality, atypical identities, attraction vs arousal, why labels can empower some people and make others feel hemmed in and, in all things, the importance of open minds, communication and respect.



Books from the episode:




* A Quick & Easy Guide to Queer & Trans Identities by Mady G. & Jules Zuckerberg



* The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker

To combine finances or to run like hell in the opposite direction, that is the question. We share our own partnered money setups and then dive deep into the much lauded book The Two Income Trap by Elizabeth Warren & Amelia Warren Tyagi… some of us liked it, some of us hated it but we were all left wondering whether it’s even possible for two people to live on one income in the modern economy.



Some Things Everyone Should Know About Divorce



What marriage really is as far as the government is concerned… a financial contract with a state mandated asset allocation in the event of divorce. Do you really want the state’s one-size-fits-all guidelines? Yeah no, get a pre-nup/maintain a post-nup and then stash it in a filing cabinet and assume you’ll never have to use it.



Social Security contributions (and payouts!) are relative to earned income… and fucks over stay-at-home parents, particularly in the event of divorce. In order to receive any Social Security benefits based on your ex-spouse, you have to have been married for at least 10 years AND you can never marry anyone else…. did we mention that the average length of marriage in the US is 8.2 years?



Pensions that are not vested at the time of divorce (meaning they will reach their true full value at a later date, aka upon retirement) ARE considered marital assets and should be equitably divided after having a valuation done to estimate the vested value.



* The Two Income Trap | Book by Elizabeth Warren & Amelia Warren Tyagi* Spousal IRA* Bankruptcy is a tool! We talk about this more extensively in an upcoming episode we recorded Live At The Fig!* The Couples Financial Coach Podcast – episode featuring Yulin Lee* Frugalwoods sharing their experience with having children while combatting the “Baby Industrial Complex”* Why Women Have Better Sex Under Socialism | Book by Kristen R. Ghodsee

The Roaring 20s continue and 2021 had it all: gamestop, crypto, travel in the time of Covid, new jobs, relationships, investment accounts, properties, health insurance, life insurance, death paperwork, you name it. Listen in to find out our favourite splurges of the year, major milestones we tackled and what 2022 holds on the horizon.



Favourite Splurges



Aprés Delight CBD Intimacy Oil brought to you by Coalition Snow



Taylor’s Chicken Coop Automatic Door Opener



Ruggable Snake Rug



Becca’s Favourite Airpod knockoffs



Mountain Rings to replace Jewels’ lost wedding ring | Made By: Mackenzie Jones | Bought At: Made Local in Calgary



Plush & Cozy Sheepskins



Off & Out Camp



Maggie’s Super Cushy, Back Pain Free Nike Running Shoes



Class of 2021 Investments: Yearbook Style



Most Likely To Succeed



Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund



Tried and true and Taylor’s Top Performer for 2021.



Best Personality



Gamestop



Simply electric! This little number was by far and away the most fun stock pick of the year. What a rollercoaster ride! Relive the glory days and listen to Becca’s intro of our Gamestop episode to feel alive again.



Best Legs



Scotch



When you fall in lust, fall hard. Yet to be seen whether this will be a classic story of unrequited love.



Most Dependable



Automatic 401k Contributions



Be like Maggie. Win today, win tomorrow, win forever. Get that money invested before it ever hits your bank account.



Best Dressed



Investment Property



From ugly duckling tear down to hip longterm rental, a true Princess Diaries makeover. So much work but oh so worth it.

Our gameshow is back! Featuring mummified catfish, glam vampire coffins and a golden casket gifted to Zsa Zsa Gabor… while she was still alive.



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If you’re reading this in your podcast app: Visit the show notes on our website to see photos of the catfish mummy, vampire coffin and Zsa Zsa Gabor’s Golden Casket.



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Egyptian Mummified Catfish



Sold by Ancient Resource for $2,000







Glampire Toe Pincher Coffin



Listed by Immortal Curio Company on Etsy for $7,400











24K Golden Casket Gifted To Zsa Zsa Gabor



Retailed for $40,000

Take control of your own decisions around health & aging, while you still can. This episode is for everyone, at every age… and is actually less about the exact moment of death and more about enjoying the best quality of life possible in the years and years leading up to it.



Must Read: The Art Of Dying Well by Katy Butler



Must Do: Here’s a Medical Care & End Of Life Workbook with all of the questions we’re asking ourselves and forms we’re filling out for ourselves and our family members.

Overwhelmed by the thought of buying a house? We walk you through the process from a year before you start looking until move in day. We also get into the tax benefits for homeowners and the often ignored ethics of being a landlord. BONUS: Becca submits her first ever offer on a house LIVE On Air.







* Tax Benefits of buying a house + the difference between tax deductions and tax credits* What does Escrow even mean? PMI? Title Insurance?* All the types of cash you need throughout the purchase process: option fee, earnest money, down payment, closing costs.* How much should you put down for a down payment?* Scams to watch out for when you buy a house.* Real Estate Agents & Mortgage Brokers* The “Vanity Metric” that drives Jewels crazy.* Typical landlords and the Ethics of providing housing for people.* Book Recommendations: * Retire Early With Real Estate* Tax Strategies For The Savvy Real Estate Investor* Real Estate Loopholes



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First times can be awkward. We share the dirty details of our own homebuying experiences & are joined by guest Loren Grush who recently bought her first house in this crazy pandemic housing market. Find out why heartfelt letters shouldn’t be a thing in the real estate industry, what an appraisal waiver is and the key to avoiding the all-too-common buyer’s remorse.



Correction



The increase in median house price in Austin from June 2020 to June 2021… was actually over 40%!!! Not a mere 25-30% jump. Wow.



Top Lessons from our own homebuying experiences:



* The best way to avoid homebuyer regret is to put together an all star team.* Real Estate Agent who doesn’t try to sell you every house you walk into. * Mortgage Broker who will go over your finances with you 6-12 months before you want to buy a house and help you prioritize ways to tweak your finances and debt so you look good for the banks.* You’re going to need more money than you think. Increase your emergency fund.



Apprasial Waiver / Appraisal Gap



When the housing market became insanely competitive in Austin during the pandemic, something called an Appraisal Waiver became a common but potentially risky tactic to beat out other buyers.



* Banks will only give you a mortgage for the amount of money an appraiser tells them the house is worth. * Appraisers base their estimate of the house value on similar houses (comps) that have sold recently.* If there is say…. a global pandemic, then a situation might happen where the real estate market shuts down for a few months and when the market does start up again, there’s almost zero supply and demand skyrockets from hordes of people deciding they want to move to a particular city. This causes prices to jump very rapidly at the same time that there are zero recent comps for appraisers to use to support the new prices.* In that case, the true value might be $500k but the last similar house that sold went for $400k, so the bank only wants to write a mortgage for $400k.* If you are trying to get a mortgage and there are no recently sold houses that support the price you’re paying, the appraised value will probably come in lower than you need for the mortgage. In a competitive market where you are fighting against cash buyers who don’t need an appraisal, you may choose to offer an appraisal waiver saying that you will cover the appraisal gap with extra cash if the appraisal comes in low.







Here’s An Example:



You’re in a multiple offer situation and you manage to beat everyone else by making a $400k offer.



A few doors down, there’s a house that’s exactly the same as yours that sold a few months ago for $350k.



Normal Situation



Purchase Price: $400k



Appraised Value: $400k



How much cash do you need upfront?



5% down payment on $400k mortgage = $20k + closing costs



Appraisal Gap Situation where you waived the appraisal



Purchase Price: $400k



Appraised Value: $350k



How much cash do you need upfront?



5% down payment on $350k mortgage = $17.5k



$50k shortfall between appraised value and purchase price



$50k + $17.5k = $67.5k + closing costs



Why would you decide to give an appraisal waiver/appraisal guarantee?



If comps haven’t caught up to true market value and you’d rather risk paying more...

Our first OFFICIAL Guess The Price gameshow featuring all manner of space memorabilia! Special guest Loren Grush goes head-to-head with Maggie & Taylor with wild guesses on the price of everything from Soviet Moon Rocks to Golden Astronaut Hand Casts. Place your own bets and then listen to find out who has a failure to launch and who overshoots into outer space.



Soviet Collected Moon Rocks



Collected during the 1970 Soviet Luna-16 mission and gifted to the widow of Russian space-program pioneer Sergei Korolev.



Sold by Sotheby’s in 2018 for $855,000







Astronaut Hand Casts



15 plaster hand casts used as models for making spacesuit gloves for the Apollo astronauts.



Sold by Bonhams in 2016 for $155,000







Snoopy Astronaut Doll



Signed by Apollo 10 Commander Tom Stafford: “Snoopy, LM-4 Call Sign, Tom Stafford, Apollo X Cdr, May 69“



Sold by Bonhams in 2015 for $1,875







Apollo 13 Flight Plan



Presented it to the mission’s Lead Flight Planner after the crew autographed it and wrote, “To Bob — A truly perfect flight plan as far as we got.”



Sold by Sotheby’s in 2017 for $250,000







Neil Armstrong’s Lunar Sample Bag



With remnants of moon dust inside, this piece is the most expensive NASA artifact sold to date.



Sold by Sotheby’s in 2017 for $1,800,000

Today we’re getting to know Loren Grush, universe renowned Space Journalist. Discover how her relationship with money has changed over the years & enjoy a laugh with us over awkward dating stories. Loren is joining us for the next few episodes including a hilarious round of Guess The Price and a series on first time homebuying where we share our own homebuying/home search experiences and then break down what you need to know if you’re gearing up to buy your first house.



Website: www.LorenGrush.comInstagram: @grushcrushTwitter: @lorengrush

Surprisingly, only 1 of these comes with an instruction manual. Why your credit score is important even if you don’t plan on taking out debt & how to get it in tip-top shape. We’re breaking down different types of debt, the fastest way to tackle your credit card debt, and we barely scratch the surface on the many ways the student loan system is super fucked up.



Clarification on Deferred Student Loans & Interest



* Interest on federally subsidized loans does not accrue during the deferment.* Interest on unsubsidized loans does accrue during deferment and is added to your loan at the end of the deferral period.* Deferment on private student loans varies by lender, and not all lenders offer it.* More Info on Deferment: https://www.investopedia.com/what-is-student-loan-deferment-4771251* Student Loan Forbearance during COVID-19: https://studentaid.gov/announcements-events/coronavirus



Full Show Notes Coming Soon



* History & State Of The Union* Women got bank accounts in the 1960s, credit cards in 1974* Credit Scores* Why is a good credit score important?* Even if you don’t plan to take on any debt (credit cards, mortgages, etc), your credit score may still be used by employers when you’re applying for jobs and by landlords when submitting rental applications. A poor credit score can limit your job prospects, limit your rental options, and cost you more in upfront deposits on your rental housing.* The two most important factors to raise your score.* Sneaky strategy for maintaining your credit score if you want to close a credit card.* Student Loans* Income Based Repayment* The abysmal acceptance rate of the Non-Profit Forgiveness Program* Credit Cards, Mortgages, Car Loans* Credit Cards* Revolving debt that is typically not backed by any assets* Ways Credit Card Companies make money* transaction fees* interest charges* late fees* How credit card interest works* Myth Busted: Carrying A Balance On Your Credit Card Improves Your Credit Score… FALSE* Mortgages * Considered installment debt not revolving debt so don’t affect credit utilization* Debt on an Appreciating Asset (value of asset grows over time)* Car Loans* Debt on a Depreciating Asset (value of asset declines over time/with use)* Snowball vs. Avalanche method for paying off debt* Additional Resources* Explained: Money | episode on Debt* Two Income Trap | Book* How to help incarcerated family members

We watched the Berkshire Hathaway 2021 Annual Shareholders Meeting so you don’t have to! Enjoy salacious commentary on Warren Buffett’s wildly naive perspective on health care and retail investors, and Charlie Munger’s take on “god awful, immoral “ crypto. And why DOES Buffett have so much of his money in cash right now?? All this and more relentless roasting of two of the wealthiest 90-some-odd-year-olds out there.

Are you a Growth or Value Investor? Do you love a risky crypto investment or cling to the financial stability of cash in the bank? This week we get into active vs passive investing, real estate vs stocks, mortgage math, capital gains tax hikes, why cash is trash, and how you can take advantage of front page PR scandals.



The following Show Notes include: a breakdown of investing styles, Mortgage Math Made Easy, and a hilarious video of someone selling an apple.



Index Investing vs Active Investing



Index Investing



* Allows you to invest in a broad swath of the market and essentially means that your returns will match the market since you’re getting the average return of all the companies in your index.* Fairly low risk and the easiest way to invest since it doesn’t require a lot of time or knowledge on your part.* Can be very low cost depending on the index and vendor you select, which is great because it means you keep compounding more of your money over time instead of it getting bled off by fees.



Active Investing



* Gives you the potential to beat the market and get a higher return on your investment but it requires a lot more time and energy to educate yourself on the companies that you’re looking at investing in.* Your costs might be substantially higher since you’re paying transaction fees every time you buy and sell in the market.* Value Investing and Growth Investing are both Active styles of investing.



Value Investing vs Growth Investing



Both of these types of investing strategies look at the current market price of a stock compared to the underlying value that we believe will eventually be reflected in the price.



In Value Investing, we’re looking for companies that, based on all the available information about the company, appears to be worth more than the current price actually reflects. So we buy the stock today at a discount and hold onto it until the price rises to match the actual underlying value.



* Typically seen as lower risk since we have a tangible comparison of company’s actual worth compared to its current price.* Tend to outperform Growth stocks if held for long time periods OR during periods of a bear market or recession.



For Growth Investing, the price today may match the actual underlying value of the company but we believe the future value of the company will be way higher based on the products/services/initiatives that company is working on. So we buy the stock today, wait for those new products and services to hit the market, which causes the price of the stock to grow dramatically, and we cash out our profits after that growth happens.



* Often higher risk since we’re betting on the company doing something amazing in the future without fucking it up along the way.* Potential to substantially outperform Value stocks if you’re looking at shorter timeframes (less than 5 years) and bull market periods.



ESG, SRI, and Impact Investing



ESG – Environmental, Social, Governance



SRI – Socially Responsible



ESG and SRI primarily focus on weeding out the bad players or the companies so they essentially select any companies that are neutral or better when assessed against the environmental and social criteria.



Impact Investing goes a huge step further by also weeding out those neutral companies and focusing exclusively on companies whose mission is to create positive impact environmentally, socially, etc. while also being profitable companies that can sustain themselves and continue their work for ...

Tell me what you want, what you really really want. The art of Shame Free Sex talks without having to put everything on the table. Navigating new relationships, moving in together & spending time apart. Why no one wants to be a project manager in their own relationship plus the worst relationship advice Jewels has ever received.



* WeShouldTryIt.com or the Spicer App for iPhone & Android* Sex questionnaire that helps couples find out what they both like or want to try. You each fill out the questionnaire individually, and then it only shows things you’re both into or curious about.* Sex With Emily | Awesome sex educator with a radio show, podcast, MasterClass and website full of resources* Website | Podcast | MasterClass

Want to know what’s hiding in our sex drawer? We’re diving deep into sex toys, homemade lube, flavoured blow jobs, alien impregnation, lingerie & bondage. Then we go cerebral with talk of the elusive female orgasm, the mental side of getting down with your bad self, and our aspirations of steamy shower sex.



Sex Toys



* Air Pulse, Clitoral Stimulators* plusOne | $30* Satisfyer Pro 2+ | $60* Satisfyer Travel | $40* Womanizer Pro | $150-200* For Partner Sex & Travel: Eva by Dame Products | $135* Pendant Vibrator Necklace: Vesper | $70* For Men: Satisfyer Heated Vibrator | $50* Notable Mentions* Sex Positive Porn for Women by Erika Lust!* Sex Toy Subscription Box | Heart & Honey | $55-130* Nipple Tingling Balm | ~$15* Ovapositors | SLUTEVER episode on Vice* Fuzzy Handcuffs, Bondage Tape, Rope* Flavoured Lube for oral sex* Cannabis Lube



Homemade Lube Recipe



* Coconut Oil* Cacao Butter* Optional* Cinnamon Essential Oil* Vanilla Extract



All ingredients should the the highest quality, food grade options you can find.



Melt coconut oil and cacao butter together, then add a very small amount of the vanilla and cinnamon. Start with a 50/50 mix of the coconut oil and cacao butter, then adjust future batches once you’ve tried it out. More coconut oil for a more slippery lube, more cacao butter for a creamier lube.



*Use at your own risk. As always, test new skin products on a small area such as the inside of your wrist to make sure you’re not reactive to one of the ingredients.