Welcome to Untamed Ember, the podcast where pleasure is your birthright, curiosity is your compass, and unlearning shame is part of the foreplay.
I’m Dr. Misty, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist & Supervisor, clinically licensed in Washington State, Maryland, Virginia, and D.C., radically inclusive educator, and your guide for reclaiming pleasure without outdated “shoulds,” shame spirals, or performative nonsense.
Here, we don’t do cold, clinical sex talk or vague, fluffy advice. We do real, unfiltered conversations about desire, intimacy, identity, and the glorious mess of being a human with a body and a brain. This space is queer-affirming, body-positive, kink-aware, and free of the judgment that keeps so many people silent about what they really want.
Each week, we peel back layers of cultural conditioning, explore polyamory and kink dynamics, and get playfully honest about what turns us on (in every sense). We also dig into nervous system–friendly ways to make pleasure part of daily life, without guilt, pressure, or pants (unless you like them).
So if you are ready to reclaim pleasure, rewrite your internal scripts, and laugh a little while turning yourself on to your own life...
Welcome to Untamed Ember. Let’s get curious.
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Welcome to Untamed Ember, the podcast where pleasure is your birthright, curiosity is your compass, and unlearning shame is part of the foreplay.
I’m Dr. Misty, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist & Supervisor, clinically licensed in Washington State, Maryland, Virginia, and D.C., radically inclusive educator, and your guide for reclaiming pleasure without outdated “shoulds,” shame spirals, or performative nonsense.
Here, we don’t do cold, clinical sex talk or vague, fluffy advice. We do real, unfiltered conversations about desire, intimacy, identity, and the glorious mess of being a human with a body and a brain. This space is queer-affirming, body-positive, kink-aware, and free of the judgment that keeps so many people silent about what they really want.
Each week, we peel back layers of cultural conditioning, explore polyamory and kink dynamics, and get playfully honest about what turns us on (in every sense). We also dig into nervous system–friendly ways to make pleasure part of daily life, without guilt, pressure, or pants (unless you like them).
So if you are ready to reclaim pleasure, rewrite your internal scripts, and laugh a little while turning yourself on to your own life...
Welcome to Untamed Ember. Let’s get curious.
Why You Can't Sleep When You're Safe: The Polyvagal Paradox (Trauma, Neurodivergence & Rest Explained)
Untamed Ember
29 minutes 38 seconds
5 months ago
Why You Can't Sleep When You're Safe: The Polyvagal Paradox (Trauma, Neurodivergence & Rest Explained)
Why does your brain turn into a haunted house the minute you finally feel safe enough to rest? Why do so many trauma-impacted, neurodivergent adults struggle with sleep—even when nothing is “wrong” on the outside? Welcome to Untamed Ember, where Dr. Misty dives headfirst into the Polyvagal Paradox—that infuriating reality where your body refuses to relax, no matter how perfect your sleep hygiene or how many weighted blankets you own.
In this episode, we break down:
Why sleep is the ultimate act of vulnerability—and why your nervous system might see it as a threat, not a reward
How trauma, neurodivergence, and chronic stress rewire your body’s ability to rest (and why “just relax” is a setup for shame)
The difference between “tired but wired” insomnia and emotional collapse sleep—and why you might bounce between both
The real role of fascia, hypervigilance, and your window of tolerance in sleep struggles (not just “bad habits”)
How polyvagal theory reveals the secret language of your sleep cycles—plus what “false ventral” looks like at 2AM
A client story that proves: Your sleep isn’t broken, your nervous system is just a damn good protector
Radically practical, non-performative tools for reclaiming rest: deep pressure, rocking, Yoga Nidra, body scan journaling, and the lost art of letting your sleep be weird
This isn’t another lecture on blue light and bedtime routines. It’s a rebellious, trauma-informed, neurodivergent-friendly call to stop blaming yourself for sleepless nights and start building genuine nervous system safety—at your own pace, with your own rules.
PLUS: Vault members, don’t forget to grab this week’s worksheet, The Sleep Safety Map, to build your own personalized nervous system plan for rest at untamedember.com. And join our FREE newsletter for free weekly resources: untamedember.kit.com
Want more anti-shame, science-backed content?
Listen to the Untamed Ember podcast wherever you get your podcasts
Join The Ember Vault for weekly deep-dive worksheets and tools ($5/month)
#polyvagaltheory #trauma #neurodivergent #sleep #nervoussystem #insomnia #rest #healing #cptsd #adhd #autism #untamedember
Untamed Ember
Welcome to Untamed Ember, the podcast where pleasure is your birthright, curiosity is your compass, and unlearning shame is part of the foreplay.
I’m Dr. Misty, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist & Supervisor, clinically licensed in Washington State, Maryland, Virginia, and D.C., radically inclusive educator, and your guide for reclaiming pleasure without outdated “shoulds,” shame spirals, or performative nonsense.
Here, we don’t do cold, clinical sex talk or vague, fluffy advice. We do real, unfiltered conversations about desire, intimacy, identity, and the glorious mess of being a human with a body and a brain. This space is queer-affirming, body-positive, kink-aware, and free of the judgment that keeps so many people silent about what they really want.
Each week, we peel back layers of cultural conditioning, explore polyamory and kink dynamics, and get playfully honest about what turns us on (in every sense). We also dig into nervous system–friendly ways to make pleasure part of daily life, without guilt, pressure, or pants (unless you like them).
So if you are ready to reclaim pleasure, rewrite your internal scripts, and laugh a little while turning yourself on to your own life...
Welcome to Untamed Ember. Let’s get curious.
