Episode 6: Perfectionism in Disguise – When Doing Becomes a Defense
Perfectionism doesn’t always show up as neat handwriting and color-coded planners. Sometimes, it looks like staying late at work, saying yes when you mean no, or reworking something over and over until you’re drained. In this episode of Uninhibited, we take a deep dive into how perfectionism can disguise itself as ambition, productivity, or even caretaking—and how it's often rooted in trauma, shame, and nervous system dysregulation.
From a trauma-informed lens, we explore how childhood experiences, systemic pressures, and internalized rules about worth can shape our compulsion to over-function. Whether it’s the child who became the responsible one in a chaotic home, or the adult who never feels like they’ve done enough, perfectionism becomes less of a personality quirk and more of a survival strategy.
We’ll cover:
🧠 Segment 1: The Many Faces of Perfectionism
Learn about the three types of perfectionism—self-oriented, other-oriented, and socially prescribed—and how early life experiences create patterns of over-responsibility, emotional detachment, or detail obsession.
🏛 Segment 2: The Culture of Constant Doing
We unpack how capitalism, patriarchy, and white supremacy culture pressure us into relentless productivity, especially for marginalized folks. Your exhaustion isn’t a flaw—it’s a response to systems demanding too much.
💥 Segment 3: Perfectionism and the Nervous System
Explore how perfectionism is tied to chronic states of fight, flight, or freeze, and why regulation—not logic—is the path forward. We introduce body-based strategies to help your system learn safety beyond perfection.
👶 Segment 4: Childhood Templates and Internalized Scripts
We dig into the roots: parentification, emotional invalidation, and performance-based love. Learn how these scripts get encoded and how to begin reparenting those internalized roles.
🛠 Segment 5: When Doing Becomes a Defense
Understand how busyness often protects us from grief, fear, or vulnerability. You'll hear practical tools for recognizing overdoing in real time and creating space for discomfort—without judgment.
🌱 Segment 6: Reparative Experiences and the Power of Enough
Learn how imperfect moments can rewire our sense of safety and self-worth. We offer boundaries, rituals, and nervous-system-friendly habits to support sustainable healing and the radical act of resting.
🌀 Segment 7: Integration + Reflection
Reflect on your perfectionist parts and reconnect with what’s already good, grounded, and whole inside you. Includes a short grounding practice to end the episode.
✨ Whether you’re a therapist, caregiver, overachiever—or all three—this episode is a compassionate invitation to stop proving and start softening.
This podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute therapy or create a therapeutic relationship. If you’re in crisis, please reach out to a licensed provider in your area.
🎧 Next week on Uninhibited: We’ll explore perinatal mental health—how pregnancy, postpartum, and fertility struggles impact emotional well-being, and how to support healing from a trauma-informed perspective.
Until next time, take a breath—and stay uninhibited.