UnicornPrn

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UnicornPrn

Melissa Kwan & Lloyed Lobo

11 episodes

2 months ago

Ever thought lending a little money to friends, buying a flashy house, or investing in your buddy’s “next unicorn” was harmless? Congrats, you’ve just met the graveyard of wealth that eats entrepreneurs alive. In Episode 10 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed bare it all on the biggest money mistakes they made after coming into wealth for the first time. From toxic founder empathy to rapper-level spending sprees, this one’s a masterclass in what NOT to do when you hit a financial windfall. In t...

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Episodes (11/11)

UnicornPrn

Episode 10: How to Lose Friends and Millions

2 months ago

47 minutes

UnicornPrn

Episode 9: Top 12 BS Advice You Must Ignore

Ever been told “just pick the biggest TAM,” “hire a seasoned exec,” or “run ads for growth”? Congrats, you’ve been hit with some of the worst startup advice ever spewed on a LinkedIn carousel, usually by someone who’s never built anything but a Notion doc. In Episode 9 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed go full flamethrower on the Top 12 BS startup tropes that sound smart… but cost you time, money, and probably your sanity. From armchair analysts advisors to startup cosplay founders who’ve nev...

3 months ago

52 minutes

UnicornPrn

Episode 8: Blue Ocean Will Drown You

Ever heard the advice “find a market with no competition”? Then you’ve definitely walked straight into a blue ocean, only to realize it’s full of sharks, no buyers, and zero budget line items. “I’m the first, so the whole world is my customer.” “If no one’s doing it, that must mean it’s a great idea.” “I’ll be the industry leader because I got there first.” … and then you bleed out on the ocean floor while explaining what your product even does to confused prospects. In Episode 8 of UnicornPr...

4 months ago

44 minutes

UnicornPrn

Episode 7: Sh*t VCs Say.

Ever raise venture capital? Then you’ve definitely heard some version of: “It’s a bit too early for us.” “What if Google builds this?” “Ping me when you have a lead.” In Episode 7 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed crack open the cliché-filled, gaslight-ridden world of fundraising conversations. They expose the truth behind fake praise, soft NOs, and the cult of “value-add” investors. In this episode, you’ll learn: ✅ How to decode the top 10 most common VC phrases ✅ Why “Let us know how ...

4 months ago

1 hour

UnicornPrn

Episode 6: Culture Fit is BS

Is “culture fit” the secret sauce of team cohesion… or just startup speak for hiring people who look, think, and act exactly like you? In Episode 6 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed torch the startup world’s favorite excuse for bias, groupthink, and hiring your drinking buddies. They unpack how “culture fit” became a Trojan horse for toxic execs, lazy recruiting, and leadership that folds like a lawn chair under pressure. In this episode, you’ll learn: ✅ Why “culture fit” is often just code...

5 months ago

54 minutes

UnicornPrn

Episode 5: These Hires Will Kill Your Company

In startup land, everyone acts like hiring’s a cheat code… “just add a rockstar!” But what if that rockstar needs a brief for everything, tanks morale, or burns $280K on vaporware? In Episode 5 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed discuss the hiring disasters that don’t make it to TechCrunch, from corporate dinosaurs who can’t function without minions to vibe hires who vanish before onboarding. In this episode, you’ll learn: ✅ Why early-stage hiring is high-stakes and emotionally loaded ✅ ...

6 months ago

43 minutes

UnicornPrn

Episode 4: Founder or Fraudster - Con Artists In The Boardroom

In the startup world, everyone preaches “fake it till you make it”. But what happens when faking it goes too far? Are you a bold founder hustling to realize a big vision, or a fraudster selling pipe dreams and ending up in handcuffs? In Episode 4 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed pull back the curtain on the dark side of startup hustle – when “fake it till you make it” turns into outright fraud. They swap war stories of con artists in the boardroom, from fake user accounts and phantom ...

7 months ago

45 minutes

UnicornPrn

Episode 3: Venture Capital is a Giant Ponzi Scheme

Is venture capital the fuel behind world-changing innovation…or just a glorified pyramid scheme where everyone’s pretending they’re building the next Uber while actually praying for a higher valuation before the money runs out? In this spicy episode of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed expose how the game is played — founders chasing funding like junkies, markups for AI buzzwords duct-taped to a landing page, unicorn markdowns like it’s Black Friday, and accelerators slapping lipstick on broken ...

7 months ago

53 minutes

UnicornPrn

Episode 1: The Internet is for UnicornPrn

Welcome to the very first episode of UnicornPrn, the only podcast that peels back the glossy veneer of startup life and roasts it over a flaming pile of pitch decks. Hosted by Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo, two founder friends who’ve seen the startup world from the inside out, upside down, and on fire… we’re here to talk about what it’s actually like to build a company (spoiler: it’s not all oat milk lattes and billion-dollar exits). In this episode, we dive into the unicorn myth — how it hija...

8 months ago

48 minutes

UnicornPrn

Episode 2: Cofounder Confessions — Love, Lies & Betrayal

Startups are messy. But cofounder relationships? Even messier. In this brutally honest episode of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed dive into the raw, real, and often ridiculous world of cofounder dynamics—from love stories gone wrong to business partnerships built on shaky foundations. They read founder DMs and dissect juicy, anonymized tales of startup breakups, equity disputes, silent resentment, power struggles, and control freaks who hoard all the glory. Nothing is off-limits. Whether your ...

8 months ago

56 minutes

UnicornPrn

Welcome to UnicornPrn

UnicornPrn is the only podcast that peels back the glossy veneer of startup life and roasts it over a flaming pile of pitch decks 🔥 Hosted by Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo, two founder friends who’ve seen the startup world from the inside out, upside down, and on fire. This show dives into what it’s actually like to build a company (spoiler: it’s not all oat milk lattes and billion-dollar exits). We riff about all the things you wish you could say out loud but can’t (or won’t) — like investo...

8 months ago

1 minute