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Transgender Woman Talking
E.E. Loewen
82 episodes
6 days ago
Elle is a transgender woman who started this show to talk. Each week, Transgender Woman Talking presents bits of inspiration, encouragement for other trans siblings, and reflections from a perspective down life's road. Elle currently works as a pre-licensed psychotherapist at an LGBTQ community clinic in California. She is happily married with children, and during the two decades prior to transitioning worked as an ordained Christian pastor. Elle can be reached at: twatpodcasting@gmail.com
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All content for Transgender Woman Talking is the property of E.E. Loewen and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
Elle is a transgender woman who started this show to talk. Each week, Transgender Woman Talking presents bits of inspiration, encouragement for other trans siblings, and reflections from a perspective down life's road. Elle currently works as a pre-licensed psychotherapist at an LGBTQ community clinic in California. She is happily married with children, and during the two decades prior to transitioning worked as an ordained Christian pastor. Elle can be reached at: twatpodcasting@gmail.com
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Personal Journals
Society & Culture
Episodes (20/82)
Transgender Woman Talking
The Story of Mary

In this installment of Transgender Woman Talking, Elle hosts a conversation with Mary Almy and Cheryl Shaver about a documentary they created together. Cheryl is a filmmaker and director who spent time with Mary and her loved ones to explore and present an intimate portrait of her world. In the episode, Elle talks with the two of the importance of story-telling, the poignancy and power of Mary's experiences, and what we expect yet ahead.

The film "Mary: Her Journey from Pain to Purpose" is currently in the film-festival pre-release phase and so has limited availability publicly. However, interested folks can reach out through instagram or Cheryl's website (below) to potentially host a screening or talk more about how to share the project. In some ways, the film resonates with Will Ferrell's work on "Will and Harper" a Netflix documentary about the celebrity's relationship with an old friend and colleague who transitioned later in life.

  • Watch a Trailer for Mary's film here.
  • Cheryl Shaver's website SLA Video can be found here; her company's facebook page is here.
  • Mary and Cheryl's Instagram for the project.
  • Film Will and Harper
  • ⁠⁠Elle's BlueSky Account⁠⁠


As always, to learn more about Elle and her work, or to explore the possibility of accessing psychotherapy with her, please visit her website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.estherloewen.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

For constructive feedback on the show, to ask questions, or to get access to the Fierce Femmes or Sacred Wounds support group, please email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twatpodcasting@gmail.com⁠⁠.

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8 months ago
57 minutes 16 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
Not Going Anywhere

Elle checks back in with her thoughts about the current political discourse regarding trans people, including the many cruel and stigmatizing executive orders the new president of the United States signed during the first few weeks in office. Elle discusses some of the practical things she's doing to take care of herself, and how she believes we will all survive these times. Included in the episode are references to the following links and resources:

  • Elle's BlueSky Account
  • The Parable of the Sower &The Parable of the Talents by Octavia Butler
  • Balatro Game (*caution* you may not be able to stop)
  • Amy Beaver'sTik-Tok Encouragement
  • Pride Plans Estate Planning
  • The LGBTQ Center of the Desert in Palm Springs -Scott Hines Behavioral Health Clinic
  • Sacred Wounds Support Group (Zoom) for LGBTQ People who have experienced religious hurt. Every Wednesday morning at 10am PST.Email for access.


As always, to learn more about Elle and her work, or to explore the possibility of accessing psychotherapy from her, please visit her website at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.estherloewen.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

For constructive feedback on the show, to ask questions, or to get access to the Fierce Femmes support group, please email⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twatpodcasting@gmail.com⁠. The group meets ever 2nd and 4th Tuesday evening of the month on Zoom at 6:30pm PST.

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9 months ago
45 minutes 54 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
Transgender Day of Remembrance - Blessed are the Trans Kids

I am still here. And so are you.

This episode is the first following the American election of 2024, which was upsetting and disappointing for many of us. In it, Elle talks about Transgender Day of Remembrance, and provides a recording of a speech she gave at a in person gathering in her area. In it, she also reflects on surviving, thriving, and still showing up even during difficult times.

  • Blessed are the Trans Kids, Esther's poem based on The Beatitudes
  • Therapy, a poem by Nayyira Waheed
  • A brief history of Transgender Day of Remembrance


As always, to learn more about Elle and her work, or to explore the possibility of accessing psychotherapy from her, please visit her website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.estherloewen.com⁠⁠⁠⁠.

For constructive feedback on the show, to ask questions, or to get access to the Fierce Femmes support group, please email ⁠⁠⁠⁠twatpodcasting@gmail.com⁠

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11 months ago
31 minutes 18 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
Women's Athletics - A Discussion of Maggie Mertens' Book Better, Faster, Farther

In this belated episode, Elle talks about a book published just this past summer on the history of women's running. Better Faster Farther, by Maggie Mertens, explores the myths that have restricted women athletes access to competitive sports (namely running) and that continue to threaten them to this day. Read or learn more about it here and here. Included in this conversation are reflections on trans athletes competing with women, as well as intersex athletes who sometimes do not discovery they are intersex until being tested as part of Olympic protocols.

Some of the resources referenced in the show include:

  • Erin in the Morning's reporting on Blaire Fleming, the volleyball player from San Jose State University who became the center of a hate campaign in October 2024.
  • Bobbi Gibb, Marathoner
  • Fierce Femmes Support Group

As always, to learn more about Elle and her work, or to explore the possibility of accessing psychotherapy from her, please visit her website at ⁠⁠⁠www.estherloewen.com⁠⁠⁠.

For constructive feedback on the show, to ask questions, or to get access to the Fierce Femmes support group, please email ⁠⁠⁠twatpodcasting@gmail.com⁠

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1 year ago
44 minutes 22 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
Queer Experiences of Religious Harm - a sermon by Pastor Elle

This week's episode is a recording of a sermon/lecture that Elle gave back in May at Paradox Church in Redlands (see their website here). In the speech, Elle reflects on some of the unique ways that queer people are often harmed by especially high control religions. As a spiritual person and one who practiced rigid religion for many years, Elle has experiences with both being negatively impacted by religious trauma and also being a perpetrator as a Christian leader.

  • Watch a video version of the sermon with Elle's visuals here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZpnn09daAY&t=14s
  • Learn more about Kevin Garcia's work on religious harm, including his book "Bad Theology Kills" here: https://www.thekevingarcia.com/
  • To learn more about inviting Elle to come speak for your event or organization, please visit her website: https://estherloewen.com/speaking

As always, to learn more about Elle and her work, or to explore the possibility of accessing psychotherapy from her, please visit her website at ⁠⁠www.estherloewen.com⁠⁠.

For constructive feedback on the show, to ask questions, or to get access to the Fierce Femmes support group, please email ⁠⁠twatpodcasting@gmail.com⁠

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1 year ago
50 minutes 29 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
The Outrage News Cycle & Trans Identities

In this edition of the show, Elle talks about the idea of the 24/7 news cycle, and how it creates predictable waves of outrage throughout our culture, and into our lives. She reflects on the common denominators of the cycle as described by author Mark Manson (from the Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck) in a ⁠block post⁠, and explores how these dynamics are uniquely experienced by trans and gender expansive people. Elle talks about her experiences of feeling pressure to "have a take" when the news cycle hits, and anxiety about how that take or lack of a take may be received.

Some of the resources discussed in the show include:

  • ⁠Better, Faster, Farther,⁠ by Maggie Mertens
  • The work of ⁠Erin in the Morning⁠
  • ⁠Church Redwood Trees Scandal⁠

As always, to learn more about Elle and her work, or to explore the possibility of accessing psychotherapy from her, please visit her website at ⁠www.estherloewen.com⁠.

For constructive feedback on the show, to ask questions, or to get access to the Fierce Femmes support group, please email ⁠twatpodcasting@gmail.com⁠


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1 year ago
41 minutes 30 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
Interview with Dr. Jill Hingston about Trans Youth

Dr. Jill Hingston, LMFT is a psychotherapist, fierce ally of the trans community, and brilliant queer cisgender woman who currently serves as the Director of Behavioral Health Services at the LGBTQ Center of the Desert in Palm Springs. During this episode, Elle talks with Jill about her extensive experience working especially with transgender youth. Reach out to Jill via contact info on The Center website.

Contact Elle via email at twatpodcasting@gmail.com to learn more about the support group Fierce Femmes, and to get involved.

If you are in need of psychotherapy services and would like to talk with Elle about what therapy would look like with her, learn more and contact her on her website: (www.estherloewen.com).

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1 year ago
45 minutes 40 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
Taking Breaks

In this episode, Elle addresses the elephant in the room and plans for the show going forward. She furthermore reflects on the many kinds of breaks we all take through our lives and transitions. This latest installment touches on themes of anxiety, trust, mindfulness practices, vacations, privilege and class, and of course transgender identities.

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To join the Fierce Femmes support group on the 2nd & 4th Tuesdays of every month at 6:30pm PST, please email Elle at twatpodcasting@gmail.com.

To offer questions, constructive feedback, and other connections to the show, use the same email :)

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1 year ago
44 minutes 25 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
How to Be a Girl (or the Socialization of Gender)

After an unplanned hiatus, Elle talks about the learned nature of gender, how gender is socialized, and the validity of gender and sex being changed and performed. She talks about the reasons we might choose to do gender in different ways, including safety, joy, and internal personality alignment.

Some of the resources and additional materials referenced and recommended from this episode include:

  • Abigail Thorn from Philosophy Tube on Judith Butler's ⁠Philosophy (ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANCE)
  • Dylan Mulvaney - Days of Girlhood
  • Lizzo - "Like a Girl"
  • Judith Butler and Gender Trouble. Another piece by Judy in a recent NYT article.
  • Fucking Harrison Butker and his Sexist Speech

Reach out to Elle at twatpodcasting@gmail.com with questions, constructive feedback, and questions.

To learn about what psychotherapy with Elle might look like, please visit her website: https://estherloewen.com/ and click "Therapy".

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1 year ago
52 minutes 34 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
Tattoos

In this week's installment, Elle talks about a recent tattoo she got commemorating her graduation from therapy school. In addition, she reflects on some of the history and conversation in and around body modifications, including the perjorative accusation of "mutilation". Elle references her tattoo artist, Adrianne Marcella, as well as the work that she got done on her forearm for her transition ceremony in 2022 (read more here).

Please take a minute to send Elle an email at twatpodcasting@gmail.com to ask questions, make constructive suggestions, or name possible guests.

To inquire about psychotherapy with Elle, please fill out a request form on her website at: www.estherloewen.com


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1 year ago
34 minutes 22 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - A Book Report

On this episode, Elle brings back her book report format, exploring her reactions and thoughts about Taylor Jenkins Reid's masterful novel, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. Among the themes included in this monologue are: reflections on allyship, the difficulty of being in the closet, how names and labels for the queer experience have changed over the years, the ways in which the dangers and societal expectations have shifted in even the last 70 years, the importance of feminism, and the fabulous and informative podcast "Bad Gays".

Many thanks for tuning in to the program, for your constructive feedback, and encouragement. Continue to send it to twatpodcasting@gmail.com.

If you'd like to become one of Elle's clients in therapy, and you are in the state of California, please reach out to her on her website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.estherloewen.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Therapy".

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1 year ago
39 minutes 58 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
Religious Trauma

In this episode of the program, Elle talks about some of her understanding of religious trauma or spiritual abuse. As a former pastor and lifetime member of the Seventh-day Adventist Christian denomination, she resonates very strongly with many of the experiences folks identifying as victims of religious trauma describe. In the program, Elle also reflects on some of her understanding of trauma in general from a therapist's perspective, as well as some of the symptoms that people who have been hurt by religion go through.

Some of the resources mentioned on the episode this week include:

  • Sacred Wounds religious trauma support group (Elle leads this weekly with one of her colleagues on Wednesday mornings at 10am on Zoom) - email for the link
  • Bessel Van der Kolk - "The Body Keeps the Score"
  • Gabor Mate - "The Myth of Normal"
  • EMDR Trauma Therapy
  • Marcos Torres and the Hunger Podcast on religious trauma / take the quiz here

As always, thank you so much for listening to the program, for your constructive feedback, and encouragement. Continue to send it to twatpodcasting@gmail.com

If you'd like to become one of Elle's clients in therapy, and you are in the state of California, please reach out to her on her website: ⁠⁠⁠www.estherloewen.com⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Therapy".

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1 year ago
49 minutes 19 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
Nex Benedict

Nex Benedict was a 16 year old trans child who used he/him/they/them pronouns and lived in Oklahoma outside of Tulsa. Early in February, they were bullied to death in the girls bathroom at school. Before passing, video and text messages were captured from Nex reflecting on the experience of the fight that took his life and the years of harassment and bullying that led up to it. Many folks have been struck by his unjust and untimely passing - including bad actors and bigots like the head of Libs of TikTok who was recently appointed to an Oklahoma position overseeing library books. For most queer folks, however, Nex's killing evokes painful memories about our own traumas -- and the deaths of our queer siblings over the years including especially Matthew Shepherd, Brandon Teena, Brianna Ghey, the Q Nightclub Shooting, The Pulse, O'shae Sibley, and on and on and on.


In this episode, Elle shares her feelings that come up after hearing of Nex's death -- as well as short recordings taken from the Vigil in her town. She finishes the episode with an invitation to take constructive action to push back against the hate.

Some resources shared and mentioned on today's podcast include:

  • Therapy with Elle
  • "A Warped Version of the Bible Killed NEx Benedict" by Serene Jones
  • The work of Kevin Garcia, "Bad Theology Kills"
  • The work of Jeffrey Marsh

As always, thank you so much for listening to the program, for your constructive feedback, and encouragement. Continue to send it to twatpodcasting@gmail.com

If you'd like to become one of Elle's clients in therapy, and you are in the state of California, please reach out to her on her website: ⁠⁠www.estherloewen.com⁠⁠ and click on "Therapy".

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1 year ago
44 minutes 21 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
Responding to Hate & Judgment

Elle talks about some recent experiences she's had with haters, and how she chose to respond. She reflects on some of the principles she's used in the past (and present) for shaping reactions, offering a matrix of priorities that may arrive in a variety of priorities depending on the situation. The themes and topics addressed in this episode include Nex Benedict's death, verbal and physical threats, intimidation, personal safety, blocking and deleting on social media, attending to self-respect, getting our needs met, fighting for justice, ghosting, reconciliation, forgiveness, intimacy, and leaving good reviews :)

Thank you once again for listening to the program, for your constructive feedback, and encouragement. Continue to send it to twatpodcasting@gmail.com

If you'd like to become one of Elle's clients in therapy, and you are in the state of California, please reach out to her on her website: ⁠www.estherloewen.com⁠ and click on "Therapy".

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1 year ago
41 minutes 45 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
Interview with Bekki Lorton, Nonbinary Community Organizer

This week's show features an interview recorded some time ago with one of Elle's coworkers at the LGBTQ Center of the Desert in Palm Springs, Bekki Lorton. They are a nonbinary person who shares their experiences on the path of self-discovery and self-love. In addition to doing community work at The Center, Bekki also worked with exotic animals in a zoo. Learn more about Bekki and their work here: https://thecentercv.org/en/about-us/our-people/bekki-lorton/

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If you have a story or insight relevant to the work of Transgender Woman Talking, and would be willing to sit for an interview, please reach out to Elle at twatpodcasting@gmail.com.

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To learn more about therapy with Elle, please visit her website at: ⁠www.estherloewen.com⁠ and click on "Therapy".

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1 year ago
46 minutes 7 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
Am I Transgender? (Part 7)

This episode concludes (for now) Elle's series asking the question about gender identity, Am I Transgender? This final episode again will work just fine on its own but will be best absorbed in the context of the previous six (linked below). In it, Elle talks about the Erin in the Morning's fabulous response to a transphobic hit piece published by the New York Times this last week. She also reflects on themes of intersex experiences, HRT as an experiment, the persistence of Gender Dysphoria over the years, and the collective weight of all the little "signs" along the way.

If you have a story or insight relevant to the work of Transgender Woman Talking, and would be willing to sit for an interview, please reach out to Elle at the email address listed below.

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Previous episodes in the series:

Am I Transgender? (Part 1) - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twatpodcast/episodes/Am-I-Transgender-e1r3df3/a-a8tfsck

Am I Transgender? (Part 2) - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twatpodcast/episodes/Am-I-Transgender--Part-2-e1t0hp9/a-a94fg40

Am I Transgender? (Part 3) - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twatpodcast/episodes/Am-I-Transgender--Part-3-e1v9592/a-a9c8939

Am I Transgender? (Part 4) - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twatpodcast/episodes/Am-I-Transgender--Part-4-e23bj4a/a-a9ouuq2

Am I Transgender? (Part 5) - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twatpodcast/episodes/Am-I-Transgender--Part-5-e26pv66

Am I Transgender (Part 6) -

https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twatpodcast/episodes/Am-I-Transgender--Part-6-e2a637f

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Reach out to Elle at the following email address: twatpodcasting@gmail.com with constructive feedback, questions, or connection :)

To learn more about therapy with Elle, please visit her website at: www.estherloewen.com and click on "Therapy".

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1 year ago
41 minutes 45 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
The Impending Doom

Elle this week reflects on the stress of existing as a trans person (and more generally a minority person) in the world today. She talks about the weight of discouragement and hopelessness that some trans people get covered by, and why it shows up for us. Among other themes, Elle recommends the work by Erin in the Morning who tracks anti transgender legislation in the United States (read with caution because the facts can be depressing). In addition, she references the concept of Minority Stress which is widely considered a significant stress factor by medical providers. She closes with some practical tips for managing the Impending Doom including a recommendation for those who are able to write your representatives (check out this guide).


Elle has therapy openings available!! If you are in the State of California and looking for (or know someone who is) a therapist to work with on a virtual basis, please reach out. Elle is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (AMFT#142998), Supervised by Traci Lowenthal, PsyD (CA#22910). She currently accepts private pay only, but has a few sliding scale spots available for those who are in financial difficulty.


As always, Elle welcomes your constructive feedback, questions, and friendly connection. Send your message to twatpodcasting@gmail.com.

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1 year ago
39 minutes 56 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
Understanding Transgender Identities: Four Views | A Conversation with Christian Educators

In this episode, Elle reflects about a conversation she had with educators and medical providers at Loma Linda University, a Seventh-day Adventist college and hospital in southern california. The table talk itself was not recorded, but Elle brings her report before, immediately after, and in retrospect of what happened. What she had erroneously thought of as an interview or panel discussion prior turned out to be an intimate chat with a group of empathetic educators, many or most of whom were allies. The group is exploring a book published by Baker Academic, exploring four contrasting Christian theological interpretations of transgender identities (link to book). Warning, for people with religious trauma, and for transgender people from Christian backgrounds, this book features some incredibly hostile messaging that could be equated with hate speech. For this reason, Elle cannot recomend it, even though she resonated with Justin Sabia-Tanis' and Megan Defranza's contributions.


Additional recommended resources on the intersection between Christianity and LGBTQ people include:

  • Trans-Gender by Justin Sabia-Tanis
  • Dazzling Darkness by Rachel Mann
  • Transforming by Austen Hartke
  • Take Back The Word by Goss and West (out of print)
  • Work by Marcella Althous-Reid including Trans/Formations
  • Bad Theology Kills by Kevin Garcia


As always, please reach out to Elle at twatpodcasting@gmail.com with your constructive feedback and affirmations.

Soon, Elle will be open for seeing clients looking for psychotherapy in the State of California. Stay tuned!

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1 year ago
43 minutes 43 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
Interview with Wendy Cole

In this first episode of 2024, Elle interviews a fellow transgender sister, Wendy Cole. Wendy is a transition coach and elder in our community. She speaks about her experiences coming out of the closet as a child in the mid 20th century, what life was like for trans people in the 80s and 90s, and how things changed after 2012. Wendy's wisdom and kindness bleed through the whole episode, you're not going to want to miss this one!

Learn more about Wendy Cole, and connect with her on her website: https://wendycolegtm.net/

She also was interviewed by the Huffington Post in the last couple years: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/gender-affirmation-surgery_n_5bb3a27be4b0d1ebe0e568f0

Wendy's story is resonant of some of the themes highlighted amongst transgender people in the FX Series Pose (link here).

As always, reach out to Elle at twatpodcasting@gmail.com with your constructive criticism, questions, and future guests to interview.

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1 year ago
47 minutes 55 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
The Voices in Our Heads

Elle talks about the voices of doubt and self-hate and transphobia that rattle around in our heads -- where they may have come from, and how she navigates them in the present. She reflects on a conversation she once had with Rachel Freemon Sowers (of Road to Radical Visibility) about people's projections on us, in addition to her work in the therapy world. Among other themes, this program includes exploration of distorted thought patterns, DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), CBT (cognitive Behavioral Therapy), and trauma work.


Please reach out to Elle with ideas and constructive feedback at twatpodcasting@gmail.com

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1 year ago
36 minutes 11 seconds

Transgender Woman Talking
Elle is a transgender woman who started this show to talk. Each week, Transgender Woman Talking presents bits of inspiration, encouragement for other trans siblings, and reflections from a perspective down life's road. Elle currently works as a pre-licensed psychotherapist at an LGBTQ community clinic in California. She is happily married with children, and during the two decades prior to transitioning worked as an ordained Christian pastor. Elle can be reached at: twatpodcasting@gmail.com