On the Time to Lean podcast with Laura Danger and Crystal Britt, we dig into the often-overlooked realities of domestic labor, care work, and household inequity. Through sharp cultural critiques and discussions on trending topics, we explore the systemic issues that shape our homes and lives. In each weekly episode, we tackle the topics that impact our lives, challenge the status quo, and uncover the hidden dynamics that influence how we live and work. Join us as we make time to lean into these crucial conversations and advocate for the value of the work that truly keeps the world turning.
Laura, @thatdarnchat, is an educator and advocate. Crystal Britt, @itscrystalbritt, is a coach and licensed therapist in California. Find us on IG or join us on Patreon @ timetoleanpod for Ad-Free episodes, resources, book clubs, weekly virtual meet-ups and so much more!
Check us out on Substack for Ad-Free episodes and supplemental resources!
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On the Time to Lean podcast with Laura Danger and Crystal Britt, we dig into the often-overlooked realities of domestic labor, care work, and household inequity. Through sharp cultural critiques and discussions on trending topics, we explore the systemic issues that shape our homes and lives. In each weekly episode, we tackle the topics that impact our lives, challenge the status quo, and uncover the hidden dynamics that influence how we live and work. Join us as we make time to lean into these crucial conversations and advocate for the value of the work that truly keeps the world turning.
Laura, @thatdarnchat, is an educator and advocate. Crystal Britt, @itscrystalbritt, is a coach and licensed therapist in California. Find us on IG or join us on Patreon @ timetoleanpod for Ad-Free episodes, resources, book clubs, weekly virtual meet-ups and so much more!
Check us out on Substack for Ad-Free episodes and supplemental resources!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss an IG reel sent to us from a listener. Do men need to be tricked into going to therapy? What are some things that keep them from going? How do you even go about picking a therapist that’s right for you?
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If you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233
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In this episode, Laura and Crystal chat about a clip from the movie Knocked Up where Leslie Mann confronts Paul Rudd about his dishonesty around how he's been using his time. We cover invisible labor, insidious inequity, subtle betrayals and so much more.
Here's the link to the original video!
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If you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233
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In this episode, we discuss a viral thread where a woman describes a metaphor for her entire relationship: a situation where she asked for more and was expected to be satisfied with less. We talk: self-sacrifice, relationship dynamics, small moments that really reflect big issues.
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If you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233
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In this episode, Crystal and Laura talk about a viral video that makes light of the dynamic of "nagging". Join us as we consider not just what happens when you "ask a man to do the dishes", but what the jokes of the #couplescomedy genre actually teach us to laugh off.
Mentioned:
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If you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233
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In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the 2019 Netflix film, ‘Marriage Story,’ which starred Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson. A popular clip is circulating on social media again and made us wonder: with all the passing of responsibility and finger-pointing and tantruming—was it all just cis-het propaganda??
Mentioned in this Episode:
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This week, we’re digging into a few clips from @leftonread_show that had us feeling things! We talk about what it means to be “cool" and whether or not the host's advice to play hard to get is ACTUALLY good advice. A lighthearted one today. <3
Let’s get into it.
—
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If you or someone you know needs support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or visit thehotline.org.
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This is a weird one. Crystal has been slammed and Laura couldn't get a painting out of her head, so she decided to write(and read) about it. In this episode, Laura reads something she wrote about an unfinished painting of a mother.
PLEASE PARDON LAURA'S FRENCH. :)
Madame de Pastoret and Her Son, 1791–92
Artist: Jacques-Louis David (French, 1748–1825)
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In this episode, we talk about how vulnerable it can feel to name a need, the weight of perceived pushback, and how quickly it can spiral. We dig into what we call the nag paradox—that toxic loop of asking, resisting, escalating, and shutting down—and how it traps so many of us in a cycle of sacrifice, resentment, and disconnection.
Mentioned:
Wages For Housework by Emily Callaci
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If you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233
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A listener sent us a video that hit a nerve: a husband asks his overwhelmed wife how he can help, then resists the very thing she asks for. In this episode, we unpack what’s really going on in moments like these. We talk about the emotional weight of asking for help, the nuances of saying no, and what it costs when a partner responds with resistance(even subtly). Emotional labor, the mental load, relationship dynamics, viral couples videos... it's all here!
Mentioned in this episode:
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Preorder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand More
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If you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233
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This week, we look at a viral influencer’s take on why men don’t step up at home. He's just one of many creators who exist in the genre of “relationship advice” whose content insidiously blames women for their partner’s lack of initiative. Apparently, the problem with a lack of effort isn't... the lack of effort... It's that you must be smothering his divine masculine spark.
Mentioned in this episode:
Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly
The Future Is Disabled by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna Samarasinha
Care Work by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna Samarasinha
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Need support? Visit thehotline.org
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This week Crystal and Laura discuss the challenges of care work, societal expectations of default partners, and the internet's attempts at poking fun at these dynamics. Spoiler alert: we don't think it's funny. We analyze a viral video that pokes fun at a woman managing her family's needs while being late, highlighting the unfairness of couples comedy posts. Instead of trying to punch down, shouldn't we be trying to emphasize the importance of recognizing the value of care work, questioning societal norms, and teaching children about responsibility and empathy?
Mentioned in This Episode:
Our Home by Lori Sugarman-Li, a childrens book on domestic equity!
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In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss planning ahead when one partner takes on a new task--should you make contingency plans just in case they mess it up?
Mentioned in This Episode:
Like what you hear? Join the conversation on Substack!
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In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss a clip from the popular Showtime show, “Couples Therapy,” where a pair of clients discuss incompetence, ability, and blame.
Disclaimer:
Time to Lean is an educational and conversational podcast intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views expressed by the hosts and guests are their own and do not constitute therapeutic advice, clinical guidance, or a substitute for professional mental health care. While we speak from lived experience and professional backgrounds, we’re not your therapists—and this podcast is not therapy.
Please consult a qualified mental health provider if you’re experiencing distress or need individualized support. And remember: systemic change takes all of us, but you don’t have to do it all alone.
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In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss the importance of positive language in gardening, the joy of birding through apps, and the impact of social media on relationship dynamics. The conversation delves into parenting roles, cultural narratives, and the normalization of toxic behaviors in relationships, ultimately calling for a rethinking of feminist perspectives and deeper discussions about relationship expectations.
Mentioned in this Episode:
Filterworld: How Algorithms Flattened Culture by Kyle Chakya
Kin: The Future of Family by Sophie Lucido Johnson
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This week, Crystal presents a new study that claims handling home life well can boost your work performance. We dig into what’s really being said(and what’s not), why the framing matters, and how corporate culture keeps co-opting care.
In this episode:
How you handle your home life can boost work performance, shows new study: https://www.bath.ac.uk/announcements/how-you-handle-your-home-life-can-boost-work-performance-shows-new-study/
Bullshit Jobs by David Graeber
When You Care by Elissa Strauss
📖 Preorder No More Mediocre by Laura Danger and get a bonus High Impact Tasks resource!
National Domestic Violence Hotline:
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Why is it that we blame the mom when something kid-related falls through the cracks? In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss double standards in gendered expectations, the way that clear communication can prevent resentment, and how emotional safety can impact domestic problem-solving.
Mentioned in this episode: https://www.today.com/parents/toddlers/mom-forgets-diapers-flight-toddler-rcna203556
National Domestic Violence Hotline:
https://www.thehotline.org/
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Is the point of feminism to become a power mom/CEO powerhouse? (spoiler alert: BIG no). In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss why the new branding of feminism misses the mark by a w i d e margin.
Mentioned in this episode:
Power Moms Marie Claire Article
Book: A Decolonial Feminism by Françoise Vergès
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In this super unhinged episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the HBO show The Rehearsal, specifically episode 2 of season 2. We talk emotional labor, Nathan Fielder, and airline pilots.
Mentioned in this episode:
Rose Hackman's article: Telling Women to Modulate Their Tone Will Not Hinder Male Extremism
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This week, Laura and Crystal unravel the messy, misunderstood concept of nagging—and spoiler alert, it’s not just a "you problem." We’re diving headfirst into the nag paradox, that familiar dynamic where one partner becomes the designated project manager of the household… and the other somehow forgets how time works.
From cringey comic strip tropes (hello, bathrobe lady with the slipper) to the emotional weight of carrying the mental load, we break down why nagging isn’t about being “overbearing”—it’s often a desperate bid to feel seen, heard, and understood in a system that undervalues care work.
We explore how this pattern plays out in everyday moments, like who’s picking up the kids, and how resentment builds when you’re forced to either ask for help perfectly or just do it yourself. We also talk about how neurodivergence, gender roles, and unspoken emotional labor all collide to make this a setup for burnout—and sometimes, abuse.
Plus:
Whether you’ve felt like the “default parent,” are trying to unlearn your own baggage, or are questioning how to rebalance your relationship, this episode is your big, validating exhale.
🛠️ Resources Mentioned:
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This week on Time to Lean, Crystal and Laura sit down with author, essayist, and unapologetic truth-teller Jessica Slice to discuss her powerful new book Unfit Parent. Jessica shares the backstory behind her debut, how she went from social work student to published author, and what it means to parent while disabled in a world that barely recognizes disabled parents exist—let alone values them.
We talk about the nuance of documenting disability, the grief of letting go of who you thought you'd be, and the unexpected creativity that disability invites into parenting.
If you've ever felt like you're faking it as a parent—or if you’re carrying a body or mind that doesn’t always “perform”—this one’s for you.
Order Jessica’s book, “Unfit Parent” below
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