This week, we’re tackling a few extremely unrelated things that rule: fire (the element), Keith David (the actor) and bread bag clips (the clips that come on bags of bread.) Why, you ask? Well, it was your idea - specifically, the suggestions of our Patreon members Mikhail Kaban, Krystal Stewart, SuperMecha, Bruce Wayne Brady and Jack Peterman.
It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro contains clips from a YouTube short about bread bags, The Prodigy’s “Fire (Sunrise Version),” Beavis & Butt-Head, Disney’s Gargoyles and They Live.
Comic-Con! What was once a niche gathering of outcasts has become a massive pop-culture spectacle, and even with the infusion of blockbuster media franchises, it’s still a wonderful time, whether you’re in San Diego, New York or somewhere in between. This episode, we reflect on the rise of comic book and sci-fi convention culture, our first exposure to it, some of our most bizarre adventures there since.
It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro contains clips from an 1972 San Diego newscast, The Simpsons, Dexter’s Laboratory and Mission Hill.
Come on in, the water’s fine! This week, we’re talking about one of the most simple, possibly primordial, occasionally deadly pleasures in life, which is traversing a body of water for recreational purposes. Y’know, swimming! It’s an essential survival skill, but also just a nice thing to do when it’s hot out, whether it’s in a pool, ocean, lake, river, pond, watering hole, crick, spigot or some combination thereof. But, that’s assuming there’s not an abundance of mud, trash, weeds, slime, or scary creatures impedling your paddling.
It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro contains clips from Jaws, National Lampoon’s Vacation, Anchorman and Adult Swim’s original bumpers
Concerts! One of the most expensive and exhausting ways to lose hearing and form lasting memories, this week we’re discussing our own histories seeing live music. From Brian’s countless hip-hop shows in New York City to Max’s repeated accidental patronage of Jefferson Starship, we have plenty of anecdotes. Are they more entertaining than attending an actual concert yourself? No. Is the audio quality better? Eh, debatable. Would we charge you 23 dollars for a beer? Never!
It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro contains clips from Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Heavy Metal Parking Lot, Aqua Teen Hunger Force and The Simpsons.
Hot dogs, dogs, frankfurters, franks, wieners, weenies or tube steak, whatever you call these silly cylinders, they’re a good time! Whether you’re eating them in the backyard, at a ball game, on the street, or hunched over your kitchen sink, stupid dudes like us would have starved to death ages ago without their questionable sustenance. Join us as we discuss some regional varieties, questionable practices, fan theories, controversial opinions, and a classic column from The Onion that was definitely not penned by Christopher Walken.
It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro contains clips from Led Zeppelin’s “Hot Dog,” an Oscar Meyer commercial, The Irishman and Superbad.
Last week we talked about our love of trucks that have ice cream inside, and this week… we’re talking about all the other kinds! But hold on, what’s a truck? A pickup? A steamroller? The Power Loader from Aliens? What we lack in expertise or first-hand experience, we make up for with an appreciation of wheeled wonders that also sometimes have big tank treads. Little trucks, big trucks, old trucks, expensive trucks, monster trucks, and other modern dinosaurs of the road, whatever they are, we love them!
It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro contains clips from a Tonka commercial, Sisqo’s “The Thong Song,” Over The Top and various truck sounds.
Easily the most beloved vehicles exclusively designed for selling dessert on the street, ice cream trucks are a staple of childhood, a beloved tradition, a lucrative side-hustle and a pretty hilarious human invention. Brian has prepared a short presentation on ice cream trucks, but not ice cream bikes or ice cream boats, as well as some of the better delicacies served by them.
It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro contains clips of an ice cream truck, The Simpsons, Hey Arnold, a Popsicle commercial and "Ice Cream" by Raekwon.
Ya-hooooo! Mountain Dew! This week, we’re joined by good friend, esteemed colleague, and X-treme Dew-ficionado Seth Macy to talk about the history of a highly caffeinated, neon yellow soft drink. From its bootleg backwoods origins to its role as a pseudo-sports drink, to a staple of nerdy all-nighters, we have some fond memories slamming various flavors of Dew - and there have been a lot over the years. It’s probably worth noting that this episode is in no way sponsored, paid for, endorsed, encouraged, or officially recognized in any way by Mountain Dew or PepsiCo.
You can find more of Seth Macy on Instagram @sethgmacy or on Tiktok @major_beeflord, where he regularly posts some very entertaining content, Mountain Dew-related and otherwise.
Intro contains clips from Mountain Dew commercials from the 1960s and 1990s, a 1996 Dungeons & Dragons sketch from Dan Harmon’s comedy troupe Dead Alewives (better known as “Summoner Geeks,” thanks to an easter egg from the Volition PlayStation 2 game), “The Rare Auld Mountain Dew” performed by The Dubliners and Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.
This week, it’s a bit of a grab bag. A grab bag full of beach sand, cinnamon rolls and sharp objects! This week, we’re a bit fried, so we’re trying shaking things up and doing scatterbrained variety pack episode on sandcastles, one of the most fun things you can legally do with a bucket, breakfast pastries, those glorious desserts of the ante meridiem, and pocket knives, a timeless must-have accessory of handymen, ne’er-do-wells, and wannabe tough guys the world over.
It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro contains clips from Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the You Already Knew That, a culturally insensitive Pillsbury Toaster Strudel commercial and Season 5, Episode 8 of The Simpsons.
You’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy (and quaint charm) than a dive bar. But what makes a good dive bar, aside from underwhelming decor and moderately-whelming beverages at an equally moderate price? Let’s discuss the charms of the American pub, tavern, watering hole and/or dank pit.
It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro contains clips from The Simpsons, Hot Fuzz, The World’s End and Star Wars: A New Hope.
Oh boy! The original portable gaming device may not exactly fit into most pockets, but it sure found a warm and cozy place in the hearts of countless gamers, from young children to important Tetris-addict businessmen. We take a look back at Nintendo’s original grey, AA-battery devouring brick, and its place not just as an important part of our childhoods and gaming history, but as a landmark piece of technology that was way ahead of its time.
It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro contains clips from a Game Boy, classic Game Boy commercials and King of the Hill
Whether you’re crying, hungover, a spy, a Terminator, trying to see if aliens are running society, or if it’s just really bright out, sunglasses are a must-have item. This episode, we don our rose tinted glasses of nostalgia (which are prescription, making everything in hindsight 20/20) and look back at the history of light-blocking eyewear. From the earliest iterations in the 12th century made of whalebone and geodes, up through modern marvels like BluBlockers, Pit Vipers and the immortal Ray-Ban dynasty, there are a lot of cool kinds of eyewear to, y’know, make you look COOL.
It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro contains clips from Cory Hart’s “Sunglasses at Night,” They Live, the BluBlockers rap, and the original Mortal Kombat movie.
Of all the stuff human beings have figured out, the ability to travel by air is definitely one of the most impressive. Even more impressive, this stunning achievement has become such a ubiquitous form of travel that it’s actually a little boring! But let’s take a moment to appreciate just how cool it is that flying machines exist, but that we’re allowed to go on them as long as we briefly take our shoes off before we get on board and don’t tamper with the smoke detectors in the lavatories. If anyone’s curious, the book Max got his Wright brothers trivia is “Made in America” by Bill Bryson, and it’s full of all sorts of delightful trivia.
It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro contains clips of an ancient newsreel, The Simpsons, and Airplane!
Not just part of a complete breakfast, but a complete breakfast in and of itself, the quintessential blue collar morning meal is an American staple to rival the noble cheeseburger… But what makes a good breakfast sandwich? Eggs, cheese, some kind of meat, stuck between some sort of complex carbohydrate. Surely no one could screw that up, right? Well, you’d think so. Join us as we discuss the merits of various mystery meat, from the controversially named Taylor Ham/Pork Roll to its weird Amish cousin, Scrapple, and our personal do’s, don’t’s, tips, tricks, and misadventures with this sumptuous morning delicacy.
It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro contains clips of Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem, and Superbad.
From Cadbury Creme Eggs to Peeps to the ubiquitous egg-adjacent jelly bean, Easter candy is one of the sweetest parts of springtime. The vaguely pagan animal-centric traditions that come along with it really don’t make a ton of sense, especially in relation to the main event’s significance in Christianity, but we’re not complaining. So, let’s talk about oviparous lagomorphs, marshmallow baby chicks, and some of our fondest pastel-colored memories.
It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro contains clips of Cadbury Creme Egg and Peeps commercials, and Mallrats.
Whether you love labyrinths, mystery meatballs, funny sounding words or great deals on housewares and modular furniture, IKEA has it all. Join us as we follow the arrows on the floor through the history, charm, quirks, and shockingly dark side of the world’s largest furniture chain… that also sells cat leashes and hot dogs.
It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro contains clips from a commercial for IKEA’s first American store, Fight Club and Deadpool.
Arcades, as in a place where a bunch of arcade cabinets, pinball tables, and other assorted large and loud coin operated distraction units were collected to entertain people, started in the late 70s/early 80s. For the sake of this episode we’re gonna skip to this era and not dwell on the penny arcade/nickelodeon era of old timey crank machines you can still find at Disneyland or Fisherman’s Wharf or whatever. So yeah not, the ones you fed chump change to that showed a horse running or other stuff that used to make your grandfather lose his mind when he was eight and there was only one company making peanut butter. No, we’re talking about those dim, laser lit halls with the sticky neon carpets and maybe a counter where you could exchange tickets for prizes.
Intro contains clips from Terminator 2: Judgment Day (The Movie), Altered Beast, Pac-Man, Killer Instinct and Mortal Kombat 3.
Do you know the definition of insanity? Well, doing the same thing over and over again, but especially when that thing involves using a grenade launcher to blow the door off a wild animal cage, simultaneously freeing the dangerous beast, but also setting it on fire and pissing it off so much that it runs around biting bad guys in the neck while also setting them on fire too. And that’s a thing you can do (and which we’ve done) in numerous Far Cry games. Ubisoft’s long-running open world first-person shooter slash stealth action series has taken us to a lot of crazy places, literally and figuratively. Join us on a whirlwind tour of the highs and lows of this series, where it got its start, our favorite moments, and some tidbits of trivia and personal anecdotes about causing virtual mayhem in beautiful places.
Also, friendly reminder you can help support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, follow us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro contains clips from Far Cry 3, Far Cry 4 and Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon
The most iconic cat and mouse duo have been ruthlessly trying to kill each other for almost a century, and there’s something timeless about good old fashioned slapstick animal violence. Join us as we dig into the history of this timeless, hilarious, often messed-up, and occasionally flat-out problematic cartoon.
Also, friendly reminder you can help support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, follow us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro contains clips from Full House, The Simpsons and of course Tom & Jerry.
What? They do! They let us chew our food, smile, grimace, and give us something to floss in a literal, non-Fortnite dance fashion. Join as we marvel at those fascinating, slightly creepy lil’ pearly whites, their place in popular culture, and various anecdotes involving dental professionals, tooth fairies, and everything in between. Special thanks to A.C. MacKenzie for writing in and suggesting such a mundane yet bizarre subject for a podcast.
Also, friendly reminder you can help support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, follow us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com
Intro includes clips from Lady Gaga’s “Teeth,” Batman (1989), Looney Tunes, Del The Funky Homosapien’s “If You Must,” Yoshi’s Island and The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Extended Edition, obviously)
