How victim, villain, and helpless stories sabotage our most important conversations.
The hardest conversations aren’t just about what you say to the other person. According to Joseph Grenny, critical conversations begin with the stories that you tell yourself.
As a leading expert on business performance and communication, and a New York Times bestselling co-author of Crucial Conversations, Grenny explains that navigating high-stakes communication starts by examining the internal narratives we bring into these situations. “You and I use three consistent types of stories in these moments that don't serve us well,” he says: Victim stories (emphasizing our innocence), villain stories (demonizing the other person), and helpless stories (justifying our poor responses). "Those three kinds of stories are what amp up our emotions and justify us in our unhealthy responses," he says.
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Grenny joins Matt Abrahams to share practical strategies for mastering difficult conversations through what he calls "TLC" — truth, love, and competence. From recognizing your motives during conflict to accepting your role in creating it, he offers tools for staying focused on what you really want rather than getting hijacked by short-term emotional impulses.
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Great strategy starts with a question—and a story worth believing in.
A good strategy isn’t just built—it’s told. For Martin Reeves, chairman of the BCG Henderson Institute and author of The Imagination Machine and Like: The Button That Changed the World, strategy and imagination are both deeply communicative processes, rooted in storytelling, curiosity, and the courage to reframe assumptions.
“A strategy is really just a special kind of story,” Reeves explains. “It begins with the present and aspires to a different future—it’s fiction made actionable.” To bring that fiction to life, leaders must involve their teams in a co-creative journey and use thoughtful questions to shape not just ideas, but belief and action.
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Reeves joins Matt Abrahams to explore how communication fuels strategic thinking, innovation, and organizational reinvention. He outlines his six-step framework for imagination—from embracing anomalies to codifying and continuing ideas—and underscores the role of reframing, deep listening, and even levity in solving complex problems. Together, they unpack how a single “like” button changed our digital behaviors—and what it teaches us about influence and attention today.
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A live SXSW panel on how employee complaints illuminate the path to organizational innovation.
Wrong question: How can AI revolutionize productivity in my organization?
Right question: What do my employees hate most about their jobs?
For the Portland Trail Blazers, a winning game plan for AI implementation didn’t begin with a tech-first approach — it began with a talk-first one. “The whole concept was to talk about pain points," explains David Long, VP of Digital Innovation, describing the "Lunch and Launch" sessions where employees could openly share frustrations about their daily work. “People really enjoy talking about what they hate about their jobs,” says Christa Stout, Executive Vice President and Chief Strategy & Innovation Officer, and as they did, they illuminated opportunities for optimization. “By getting this insight across the whole company, it is already opening our eyes [to how] we can potentially transform the business more broadly,” Stout says.
In this special live episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, recorded at SXSW, host Matt Abrahams leads a panel with Long, Stout, and Stanford colleague Jeremy Utley, exploring how "catharsis catalyzes change.” For any team wanting to implement new technology or rethink workflows, these experts reveal how creating space for complaints can catalyze meaningful innovation throughout an organization.
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How to have the conversations that are most difficult — and most important.
Before you can have hard conversations with others, you need to have an honest conversation with yourself. That's the counterintuitive advice from Sheila Heen, who says our own internal narratives often derail our attempts at negotiation and conflict resolution.
"The first negotiation is actually a negotiation I have with myself about my own story," explains Heen, a Harvard Law School lecturer and co-author of Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. When entering challenging interactions, she recommends a powerful shift where we consider that our perspective is only one side of the story. "If I can shift my purpose from convincing you of something to just understanding how you see it and why we might see it differently, that actually is more likely to generate a good conversation with less defensiveness for both of us."
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Heen joins Matt Abrahams to explore effective communication in high-stakes situations. From giving and receiving feedback with her “ACE” framework (Appreciation, Coaching, and Evaluation) to recognizing the "degrees of difficulty" in disagreements, she offers practical strategies for having productive conversations even when emotions run high.
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Stay sharp, sound confident, and speak with impact — even when you're put on the spot.
Communicating clearly is challenging enough when there’s time to prepare. But in most situations — whether in meetings, casual conversations, or high-stakes moments — we rarely have the luxury of scripting our words. We must think and speak in real time.
Spontaneous communication is a daily challenge, yet few of us receive formal training in how to handle it with poise and confidence. So how can we stay composed and communicate effectively when put on the spot? Drawing on years of experience, our expert coaches — including a sports broadcaster, FBI negotiator, UN interpreter, game show host, NFL referee, and Sotheby’s auctioneer — share their final pieces of advice to help answer that question.
In this special episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, the Spontaneous Speaking miniseries concludes with powerful tools, frameworks, and tips for staying calm, organizing your thoughts, and speaking with clarity under pressure. Matt Abrahams shares practical strategies and exercises designed to help you build lasting habits and sharpen your impromptu speaking skills.
Whether you tend to freeze when caught off guard or simply want to express your ideas more effectively on the fly, this final installment will equip you to not only think fast — but speak smart.
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The power of creating the reputation you want to have.
Whether you know it or not, you have a brand. What that brand is, says Lorraine Lee, doesn’t happen by accident. “You can either form and create it, or you can let people define it for you.”
A teacher, content creator, speaker, and author of Unforgettable Presence: Get Seen, Gain Influence and Catapult Your Career, Lee helps people improve their communication presence and define their personal and professional brands. “Your brand is essentially your reputation,” she says. And while she acknowledges that “it can feel intimidating” to actively steer how we’re perceived, her EPIC framework helps navigate this challenge by examining our Experiences, Personality, Identity, and Community.
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Lee and host Matt Abrahams explore strategies for showing up memorably in both virtual and in-person settings. From crafting "unique and powerful introductions" to honing your online presence, Lee’s practical advice shows how to communicate your brand in today's digital workplace.
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Alex Rodriguez shares why in sports and business, striking out is just a part of the game.
From the baseball field to the boardroom, great communication is critical for success. But as Alex Rodriguez knows, we don’t always hit it out of the park. For this sports superstar turned entrepreneur, striking out is never the end of the story.
“I'm fifth all-time in the history of strikeouts,” says Rodriguez. “That means there's only four people in the history of mankind that have failed more than me.” For the 14-time Major League Baseball All-Star and World Series champion, failures aren’t endings, but opportunities to learn and grow. "The key is how you get back up with the same energy and enthusiasm," explains Rodriguez, who is now chairman and CEO of A-Rod Corp, leading a team of experts in building high-growth businesses.
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, co-hosted by Matt Abrahams and Stanford GSB colleague Jeffrey Pfeffer, Rodriguez shares lessons on resilience, authenticity, and effective communication. From maintaining a "slow heartbeat" in high-pressure moments to his approach of "intentional listening," he offers insights on leadership, giving feedback, and viewing communication as "an unselfish act." Whether you're stepping up to the plate or stepping up to present, these strategies can help you turn strikeouts into home runs.
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This live Q&A with host Matt Abrahams celebrates 200 episodes of Think Fast, Talk Smart.
In an age of endless content and information, how do we ensure our communication cuts through the noise? Across 200 episodes of Think Fast, Talk Smart, host Matt Abrahams has discovered four essential ingredients that help messages rise above the chatter: concision, relevance, accessibility, and precision.
“Attention is our most precious commodity in the world today, and we need to make sure that we engage our audience so we get their attention,” says Abrahams in this special 200th episode. How do we capture and keep that attention? As he’s explored with guests throughout the show, effective and engaging communication — from all kinds of people and in all kinds of places — is concise, relevant, accessible, and precise.
In this special 200th episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, host Matt Abrahams shares insights gleaned from hundreds of conversations with communication experts, followed by a live Q&A with listeners from around the world. From crafting compelling elevator pitches to managing speaking anxiety, this celebration episode offers practical advice for focused communication that is sure to be the focus of your audience’s attention.
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This three-part miniseries is all about keeping your cool when speaking on the spot.
Communicating effectively can be challenging enough, even with plenty of time to prepare what we want to say. But for most of our communication, there’s no time to plan, practice, or perfect — we have to respond in the moment.
Spontaneous communication is a part of our everyday lives, but few of us have been trained to handle these impromptu situations with confidence. What does it take to flow, not freeze, when put on the spot? This special three-part series turns to experts for guidance, from a sports commentator, FBI hostage negotiator, and UN translator to a game show host, NFL referee and Sotheby’s auctioneer.
Part 1: Preparation and Mindset
Discover how to prepare for the unpredictable, manage anxiety, and find the right headspace for success.
Part 2: Mastering the Moment
Learn to stay present, read the room, and use techniques like mirroring and pacing to connect with your audience.
Part 3: When Things Go Wrong
Find out how to recover from inevitable mishaps and keep moving forward with confidence, turning mistakes into gold.
In addition to insight-packed discussions, this Think Fast, Talk Smart miniseries offers practical exercises and homework assignments to help you implement what you've learned. Whether you draw blanks when put on the spot or simply want to articulate your thoughts more clearly in the moment, these episodes will transform how you think — and speak — on your feet.
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This three-part miniseries is all about keeping your cool when speaking on the spot.
Communicating effectively can be challenging enough, even with plenty of time to prepare what we want to say. But for most of our communication, there’s no time to plan, practice, or perfect — we have to respond in the moment.
Spontaneous communication is a part of our everyday lives, but few of us have been trained to handle these impromptu situations with confidence. What does it take to flow, not freeze, when put on the spot? This special three-part series turns to experts for guidance, from a sports commentator, FBI hostage negotiator, and UN translator to a game show host, NFL referee and Sotheby’s auctioneer.
Part 1: Preparation and Mindset
Discover how to prepare for the unpredictable, manage anxiety, and find the right headspace for success.
Part 2: Mastering the Moment
Learn to stay present, read the room, and use techniques like mirroring and pacing to connect with your audience.
Part 3: When Things Go Wrong
Find out how to recover from inevitable mishaps and keep moving forward with confidence, turning mistakes into gold.
In addition to insight-packed discussions, this Think Fast, Talk Smart miniseries offers practical exercises and homework assignments to help you implement what you've learned. Whether you draw blanks when put on the spot or simply want to articulate your thoughts more clearly in the moment, these episodes will transform how you think — and speak — on your feet.
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Stay Informed on Stanford's world changing research by signing up for the Stanford Report
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This three-part miniseries is all about keeping your cool when speaking on the spot.
Communicating effectively can be challenging enough, even with plenty of time to prepare what we want to say. But for most of our communication, there’s no time to plan, practice, or perfect — we have to respond in the moment.
Spontaneous communication is a part of our everyday lives, but few of us have been trained to handle these impromptu situations with confidence. What does it take to flow, not freeze, when put on the spot? This special three-part series turns to experts for guidance, from a sports commentator, FBI hostage negotiator, and UN translator to a game show host, NFL referee and Sotheby’s auctioneer.
Part 1: Preparation and Mindset
Discover how to prepare for the unpredictable, manage anxiety, and find the right headspace for success.
Part 2: Mastering the Moment
Learn to stay present, read the room, and use techniques like mirroring and pacing to connect with your audience.
Part 3: When Things Go Wrong
Find out how to recover from inevitable mishaps and keep moving forward with confidence, turning mistakes into gold.
In addition to insight-packed discussions, this Think Fast, Talk Smart miniseries offers practical exercises and homework assignments to help you implement what you've learned. Whether you draw blanks when put on the spot or simply want to articulate your thoughts more clearly in the moment, these episodes will transform how you think — and speak — on your feet.
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Communication isn’t about perfect word choice, it’s about connecting with others.
For native speakers and language learners alike, communicating comes with all kinds of challenges. But no matter how much we stumble over our words, Lindsay McMahon says communication isn’t about perfection — it’s about connection.
The CEO and founder of All Ears English and host of the All Ears English podcast, McMahon is on a mission to help non-native English speakers around the world hone their ability to communicate and connect. Whether you’re forming your first sentences in a new language or giving a presentation in the language you’ve spoken your whole life, “It's about human connection,” she says. “What really matters is are we connecting to our audience… the human being[s] in front of us?”
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, McMahon joins host Matt Abrahams to explore strategies for improving our communication — not by finding the right words, but by finding the right mindset. From active listening and cultural awareness to quieting nerves and building confidence, McMahon's practical approaches help communicators connect more authentically in any language or context.
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Stanford experts answer live questions on leadership, authenticity, and communication.
What happens when four top Stanford thinkers take live questions from a room full of leaders? In Part 2 of this special Think Fast, Talk Smart series from the Stanford LEAD Me2We Conference, Matt Abrahams and his panel of expert GSB faculty—Allison Kluger, Naomi Bagdonas, Christian Wheeler, and Nir Halevy—answer questions from a live audience. They cover real-world challenges around leadership, authenticity, psychological safety, and managing your reputation in complex environments. With honest reflections and actionable advice, their answers offer a candid look at what it takes to lead with intention while staying true to yourself.
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Effective leadership begins with the way you communicate.
Leading with impact isn’t about speaking louder—it’s about communicating in ways that resonate with what people already value. In Part 1 of this special two-part series from the Stanford LEAD Me2We Conference, Matt Abrahams brings together four expert GSB faculty—Allison Kluger, Nir Halevy, Christian Wheeler, and Naomi Bagdonas—to explore how to lead and communicate with intention. They share how authenticity builds trust, why discomfort is essential for growth, how to design space for serendipity, and the role AI can play in expanding—not replacing—human potential. From managing reputation to staying present in high-pressure moments, this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart offers insights to help leaders connect more effectively, show up with purpose, and inspire meaningful action.
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Turn Q&A from nerve-wracking to confidence-boosting with strategies for clear, controlled answers.
A great presentation doesn’t end with the final slide—it continues through the Q&A, where real engagement happens. Yet, for many speakers, this is the most nerve-wracking part. In this episode, Matt Abrahams explores why Q&A can feel intimidating and how shifting your mindset can turn it into an opportunity rather than a challenge. Drawing from his book, Speaking Up Without Freaking Out, he shares expert-backed techniques for structuring responses, managing audience expectations, and maintaining composure under pressure. Whether you're facing a tough crowd or just want to refine your speaking skills, you’ll walk away with the confidence to command the room—no matter the question.
Audio excerpt based on Speaking Up without Freaking Out by Matt Abrahams (printed book by Kendall Hunt Publishing 2016), read by the author. Copyright 2024 by Matthew Abrahams LLC.
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How to craft compelling stories that captivate, inspire, and make an impact.
Great storytelling isn't just about telling tales—it’s about crafting experiences that captivate, inspire, and drive change. In this special Quick Thinks bonus episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Matt Abrahams welcomes bestselling author Dan Heath for a masterclass on the power of stories.
Dan breaks down the elements of an impactful story, sharing a case study from his book Reset, outlining how to find compelling stories that connect with audiences, the structure of engaging narratives that keep people hooked, and the power of analogies and unexpected contrasts in storytelling.
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How to craft communication that your audience will remember.
Why do some messages stick, while others go in one ear and out the other? When it comes to crafting memorable communication, Ada Aka says not all verbiage is created equal.
“Certain words are intrinsically more memorable than others,” says Aka, an assistant professor of marketing at Stanford Graduate School of Business. In her research of consumer behavior and decision-making, she’s uncovered how language shapes not just our perception of the world, “but how the world stays with us over time." From concrete terms to emotionally charged ones, certain words have more staying power than others, and to communicators who want to capture audiences (and keep them), she says, “Carefully chosen words, they're going to be taking the attention.”
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Aka joins Matt Abrahams to explore the science of memorable communication. From creating brand slogans that stick to choosing words that align with your message, she reveals how to create communication that won't be forgotten.
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How to turn latent motivation into fuel for change.
If you want to be a changemaker, you’ll have to convince others to join your cause. But according to Dan Heath, persuading your audience isn’t about creating new motivation — it’s about leveraging the motivation that’s already there.
“The most important fuel for any change effort is motivation,” says Heath, the number-one New York Times bestselling author of Reset: How to Change What's Not Working. Instead of struggling to persuade people to want what you want, Heath suggests finding where your goals overlap with the things they already desire. "Before you even get to persuasion, if you can just tap and unleash the energy that's already there, you've already catapulted yourself toward success,” he says.
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Heath and host Matt Abrahams explore how to create more compelling communication using “leverage points,” or as Heath says, “where a little bit of effort yields a disproportionate return.” Whether getting buy-in from one teammate or achieving change across an entire organization, Heath shares practical tips for turning latent motivation into an engine for change.
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Why numbers are only as compelling as the narratives we attach to them.
Facts and figures can be your friend, but before you load your presentation full of data, Miro Kazakoff has a word of caution: “Data’s objective, but people are not.”
You might think that your data speaks for itself, but Kazakoff says numbers need a narrative. A senior lecturer at MIT Sloan School of Management and author of Persuading with Data: A Guide to Designing, Delivering, and Defending Your Data, he says the key to making data persuasive isn't about showing more information — it's about understanding your audience well enough to know how to relay it in a way that will connect with them. "The people who get good at this are not so much the people who can talk and draw graphs well, but the people who can listen the best. It starts with is empathy.”
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Kazakoff joins Matt Abrahams to explore how to transform complex data into clear, compelling communication. From avoiding the "curse of knowledge" to effectively orienting your audience through visualizations, he shares practical strategies for making your data not just informative, but persuasive.
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How to really know what your audience is thinking.
To be a great communicator, you have to get out of your own head. But that’s not all, says Matt Lieberman. According to him, you also have to get into the head of someone else.
“Mind-reading is this remarkable ability that humans have,” explains Lieberman, a professor of psychology, director of UCLA’s Social Cognitive Neuroscience Lab, and author of Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect. But even as we engage in perspective-taking, Lieberman says our attempts to mind-read often miss the mark. Instead, he advocates for “perspective-getting” — where we don’t just intuit what others think, we ask them directly. “That is where more productive conversation comes from,” he says.
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Lieberman and host Matt Abrahams explore insights from social neuroscience that can help us communicate more effectively. From understanding how our brains process social interactions to recognizing our own assumptions, he reveals why successful communication requires both humility and genuine curiosity about how others see the world.
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