Frantzces reminds us that relationships require intentional work all of the time.
We also discuss if integration is possible from your old single life into your new partnered life? Or if a new path needs to be trailblazed?
There's sadness around taking this break for each of us, but it's not necessarily a bad thing!
We hope to be able to come back stronger and more purposeful. We have agreed to touch base again in August to discuss the next steps for our dear TAPT podcast and community.
We will use this space for renewal for each of us this Spring and hope to report back to our listeners in the Fall.
We're grateful to all of our listeners for giving us space to be this vulnerable. And for hanging with us these past 5 seasons.
We're proud of ourselves and each other for executing this idea and for our growing relationship with one another.
Dive in as we explore when the shift happened for us in having more "light days" in our work. Learn what it means to incorporate lighter moments into your practice. Frantzces also shared what's in her internet browser as a self-proclaimed deep thinker.
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. As a deep thinker and feeler, accept and walk through this world with a bit of heaviness
2. What does it mean to create more spaciousness in your life to balance light and heavier days?
3. Lightness comes after gaining professional experience and confidence- do we need to put in our “time." Although we challenge you to think about how you can create this rhythm into your life sooner.
4. The needle does move, especially when there are client insights and aha moments.
For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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In this week's episode, we discuss SEX!
Listen as we discuss how to manage different conversations surrounding sex and intimacy. Especially when one of you wants to try new things and the other person doesn't want to. Or what happens when someone wants it all of the time?
Dive in as we explore the differences in personalities, how do you work through someone who may have had more sexual experiences than you, and what if you have someone who's a bit more rigid than you? Learn what we believe is the foundation for a healthy sexual relationship.
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. To have healthy sexual relationships it all starts with you doing the work.
2. Know what your boundaries are but be open to not completely shutting down all suggestions that your partner might make.
3. Sex and intimacy go hand in hand and if you're not having sex and you've tried everything else, maybe it's time to call it quits.
4. Ask yourself: what's going on with you that you're experiencing resistance around sex and intimacy?
For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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In this week's episode, we discuss loneliness and isolation.
Listen as we explain the differences between loneliness and being alone, and how the imposed isolation resulting from the pandemic and its effects on our psyche.
Dive in as we talk about experiencing loneliness throughout and after the healing process. Learn the importance of reclaiming yourself through loneliness and isolation.
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. Loneliness can come up whenever we feel alone, unwanted, or isolated. Some episodes are acute and others can be chronic and debilitating.
2. Purpose can be connected to having significance and belonging. Belonging to a group or family can alleviate feelings of isolation.
3. Recognize when loneliness can show up in your life- whether you are feeling alone in a crowded room and you don’t fit in, or if the people around you are not supportive to and of you.
4. Ask yourself: is fear holding me back from creating and maintaining connections with others? How can I take calculated risks to move forward with having social connectedness to others?
For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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In this week's episode, we ponder if it is possible to achieve happiness.
Listen as we dissect what it means to be happy. We explore how do to respond to clients in their search for happiness, and how do you define happiness for yourself.
Dive in as we think about what we would need to feel happiness and joy while also feeling centered and grounded.
Feeling joyful is a natural state of being for us. We just have to find ways to make conscious decisions to feel it. So get up and do things that make you feel joy.
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. Happiness is the little collective pieces of joy that sustain us over time.
2. The question is not “will I ever feel happiness?” It’s “how do I find joy now in this moment”.
3. Think outside of the box of what it means to be happy.
4. Expressing a range of emotions is healthy, refrain from labeling yourself as "emotional." It's a sign of being intuned and consciously aware of your feelings. It adds to the state of happiness.
For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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In this week's episode, we discuss passion and purpose: is it total bs or is it actually real. Can you actually achieve passion and purpose?
Listen as we talk about whether you can live the lifestyle you want AND embrace your passion.
Dive in as we question if money needs to be exchanged for work in order for passion and purpose to be deemed legit. We deconstruct the social conditioning of society to extract what is individually meaningful for all (any) of us.
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. “Stop looking for your passion…follow your curiosity.”- Elizabeth Gilbert.
2. Passion and purpose together is an indicator of true alignment.
3. Challenge yourself: take 30 minutes a day to engage in exploration- purpose and passion and what drives you.
4. Find a community to get more support.
5. Risk prevents people from dreaming.
For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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In this week's episode, we discuss the impact of our upbringing and how the relationships with our parents/caretakers have shaped who we are. Some questions we answered were what do we want to take with us moving forward, what lessons did we learn and what are the things we know for sure that we want to leave behind.
Lastly, we discussed how do we reparent ourselves in the midst of change and healing. Reflecting on how you were parented is important work to do. This determines what you take with you and what is left in the past. You can cut off a parental figure if that makes sense for you however, you still have to process that relationship. How did you change the narrative? We're you able to find meaning in your experience and turn it into something positive like Frantzces who keeps a clean home because of her somewhat OCDish aunt.
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. Blaming prevents us from healing, acknowledge the impact of past events so you can move forward.
2. Some of those experiences have taught you some ways to be self-sufficient.
3. You cannot deny that your upbringing shaped you. Everyone needs to reflect no matter what. Adverse childhood experiences have strong influences on us.
4. As we get older we have to find ways to reparent ourselves and to give ourselves what we didn't get in our childhoods.
5. Even with cutting off a relationship you'll still need to process that relationship and that separation.
6. Process EVER-REE-THING. Ask yourself are both of my feet planted in the present or is there one foot in the past and one foot in the future?
For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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In this week's episode, we discuss motivation and execution. Listen as we talk about what holds us back from accomplishing things and what gives us a spark to completing tasks. Dive in as we question if motivation is even a real thing, how the word is oversaturated and overused, and how people minimize the impact of motivation.
Add the song “Go Big” by Big Sean to your new motivation playlist is Go Big by Big Sean. Thank us later.
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. Be mindful of how societal norms around motivation impact you. American society place pressure on folks to equate motivation with ambition, success, and money.
2. Being afraid to do nothing: it’s ok to take downtime and rest. Counteract the pressure to always be on, to be an Olympian and superhero, and do it all.
3. Ask yourself: What underlying issues, patterns, and fears are really holding you back?
4. Do the work and engage in self-care. Dance to your go-to playlist. Give yourself grace. Binge-watch Netflix and chill the f**** out.
For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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In this week's episode, we discuss the advice that we would give to our younger selves. Listen as we talk about young adulthood, attending college, experiencing the quarter-life crisis, and developing independence. Dive in as we discuss obtaining mentorship from outside of the home, and the realization that we needed to have patience and that things happen for us when we are ready.
The moral of the story: wake up and pay attention.
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. Stop people-pleasing and say exactly what you want and need.
2. Put yourself first in a way that doesn’t harm others.
3. Engage in perspective-taking and consider the context. Things that may have happened back then really do not matter as much as you think that they do.
4. Redefine your life for how it suits you. Make decisions that make sense to you.
5. Acknowledge risk aversion and practice risk-taking because that is a part of life.
For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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In this week's episode, we discuss how we respond to other people’s mental health problems. Listen as we talk about how we navigate when people come to us to dump their mental health narratives into us, and our struggles with setting boundaries with others in the workplace and in social settings. Dive in as we process how people can misread and misuse our superpowers as therapists and healers.
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. Dumping your narrative onto others can possibly leave you feeling vulnerable and fragile.
2. Set the boundary that feels right for you. Once you set the healthy boundaries stick to those limits.
3. Time and place matter. Read the room. For example, if co-worker dumping is occurring in a work setting then clearly make sure where you stand in the most empathetic and caring way that you can to others.
4. Consider how you can set energetic boundaries and also recognize that it’s ok to advise others to go to therapy. I hear you and I also am guiding you to the more appropriate way of healing.
For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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This week's episode talks about perfection and shame with our special host Clinical Social Worker and Child Welfare Superhero Seth Riker.
Listen as we talk about how we have dealt with perfectionism, how it shows up in our lives, and how perfectionism impacts us positively and negatively. Dive in as discuss if perfectionism can lead to procrastination and the inability to move forward and let go.
How in the world does Seth continue to find the strength to keep going in this field?! By finding the small successes with clients and families. #assetandstrengthsbasedmindset
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. There is a spectrum of perfectionism that consists of insecurity, anxiety, and the perception of self-worth.
2. Check your ego at the door. Beware of making everything about you and avoid the messiah complex. You do not need control to fuel your inflated sense of self.
3. Don't give a shit about what other people think about you. Redefine what achievement and success look like for you. In other words: do you, boo.
4. Sometimes, things just don't matter, so learn to simply let something go.
For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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In this week's episode, we discuss how to move on from a breakup. Listen as we talk about tips and tricks to recognizing dysfunction, what lessons are learned after relationships come to an end, and identifying healthy characteristics of a healthy relationship. Dive in as we discuss the impact of self-worth and how your partner choices change when you start to love yourself.
Emotional intelligence is a game-changer.
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. You just block them. Do not engage in contact with the person once you have decided to move on.
2. The person does need love, but they don't need it from you. You are not responsible for someone else's happiness or healing journey. Let them go so that they can do the work and find themselves.
3. None of us are broken. We have not met our person yet. The right person will not make you feel broken and will not make you feel like you are the problem
4. Sometimes, your biology and mind have not moved on after a breakup, and sometimes you go through a withdrawal process. Don't get trapped in nostalgia.
For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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https://www.instagram.com/therapists.are.people.too/
In this week's episode, we discuss finding a great therapist and firing a terrible therapist. Listen as we share some life updates and our experiences with searching for therapists and engaging in therapy. Dive in as we discuss our characteristics of a great therapists and concrete strategies to assess the quality of the therapeutic relationship.
And…did you all notice that happiness is the common theme in all of our lives? Tonika is no longer in the closet! Yaaasss!
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. Take advantage of the free consultation that most therapists offer. You can get a feel of their energy. You can also read online profiles and focus on bios that resonate with you.
2. Capture your reflections by journaling your experiences with therapists you've seen. This helps you to know what works for you and what does not work for you.
3. You are in a therapeutic relationship with your therapist that should be respectful. Is the therapist attentive? Do they focus on your needs? Do they show up to the session on time?
4. Gauge how the therapist sets up expectations during the intake process. Which questions do you ask? Which questions do they ask you? How real can they get with you, and are they afraid to have uncomfortable conversations?
5. So, how do you break up with a terrible therapist? It feels awkward and uncomfortable, but you need to move on if you are not happy. With that being said…you should follow the Golden Rule: treat others the way you want to be treated.
For questions and shareouts and further discussions, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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We couldn't let the season go without talking about our favorite topics: relationships and dating. We get a bit wild and uncensored in our very LAST episode for season 4 with this conversation about online dating and relationships in general. We tackle the question of why it's so hard to have a conversation of depth? And why people can't move past, "Hey beautiful." We even work through the insecurities behind the famous, "Did I scare you off" question.
Much of the challenges of dating surrounds fear of commitment, anxiety, and many other factors, but what we realize is that it boils down to your own personal work.
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. Find ways to vibrate higher. You'll attract how you're feeling inside. If you're feeling insecure and fearful, then most likely you'll attract someone who's feeling the same.
2. Do the work. This is TAPT's mantra. But, you can't want what you can't give, so find out what your personal blocks are so that you can invite more beautiful relationships into your life.
3. Don't slide into people's DMs with inappropriate behaviors. Take a moment to read the room and respond or initiate accordingly.
4. If finding your person is taking longer than you'd like, well live your life, find your joy, and your person will come unexpectedly while you're out there shining.
5. Lastly, we can't say this enough but, be honest about the kind of relationship that you're looking for. If you want companion, then cool, that person might want that as well. Say what you want and you might just get what you want.
For questions and shareouts and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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In this week's episode, we discuss our thoughts about the Netflix movie White Tiger. Listen as we talk about the fictional story of the main character Balaram Halwai, whose life begins at servitude. Despite India claiming to be a country of democracy we witness the divisions between the caste and class systems and the impact it has on Southeast Asian society. This is an incredible film that has won numerous awards. The white tiger is a symbolic sign that represents power through conviction, individuality, shadow, and light. Which were all things that Balaram dealt with.
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. When all the odds and the system are against you it's a matter of survival, but what happens when the constant hustling becomes a double edge sword?
2. How do you find the will to defy the odds when the stacks are set up against you from day one?
3. The caste system benefits too many people for anyone to change it, no matter how damaging it is to the psyche, the spirit, and the increase of the economic gaps.
4. Family can become culprits who are part of the system because of how deeply ingrained the conditioning is and what does it mean to step away from your family to branch out and live your dreams?
For questions and shareouts and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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In this week, we discuss procrastination after watching a Ted Talk by Tim Urban. Some person, Frantzces found on the world wide web. He shared some insights about his longstanding song and dance with procrastination. We may at times find it humorous when we procrastinate on things, but sometimes it could be a deeper issue.
What is truly delaying the things that you know you must do or even would like to do? We also wondered if there was a "cure" for procrastination. Is this ingrained, or can you actually learn to procrastinate less? Nonetheless, there are levels to this game of procrastination that we play.
Head over to Tim Urban's Ted Talk: Inside The Mind Of A Master Procrastinator.
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. Procrastination, especially when there are no deadlines.
2. There are levels of procrastination: more minor insignificant things to larger, more impactful things.
3. Is anxiety connected to procrastination?
4. How to prioritize that exhaustive to-do list and reduce the list.
5. Focus on what will move you in the right direction.
6. Outsource some tasks and create a budget that allows you to do that.
7. There might be underlying imposter syndrome, fear, learned avoidance: allow yourself to dig deeper to get to the root of the issue
8. Teach yourself how to eliminate distractions.
Learn more about watching TED Talks on all of your favorite platforms.
For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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In this week's episode, we discuss Carl Jung’s theory on Shadow Work. Listen as we talk about understanding the unconscious parts of yourself and your psyche, and its similarities to doing inner child work, and spiritual and somatic work. Dive in as we discuss the process of accepting the "good" and "bad" parts of our lives and selves, and what is needed to engage in transformational change.
Please invest in the work of Bessel Van der Kolk who remains the father and guru of deep trauma work.
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. Wait this is just therapy. Ask yourself: how do we become more comfortable with dealing with the hard stuff? Don’t make it unattainable and unreachable but over-complicating the situation and overanalyzing the theory.
2. Be careful when reading information on the internet and so-called Shadow Work experts. This topic has become trendy now in our field and people are trying to make money off of vulnerable people. This is deep trauma work that needs to be done by an experienced license professional and healer.
3. Shadow is always within you, when you do the work, it minimizes overtime.
4. We are never experts and we are always in the work. You have to view yourself as someone in the trenches and a person that is always doing the work simultaneously as you are helping others.
For questions and shareouts and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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In this week's episode, we discuss what is home. Listen as we talk about what home means to us, and how that impacts how we show up in the world. Dive in as we hold a vulnerable conversation about the metaphorical and literal meanings of “home”.
Where is your home base located in the world?
Listen to Home by American Idol Season 11 winner Phillip Phillip @philphil
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. Home is where you are being centered, and being grounded. Home is where the heart is. How is wherever you wanna be. Find peace wherever you are in the world.
2. Don’t get swept up in other people's fears and judgments. Don’t let them get in the way of what you’re trying to do and how I’m trying to live.
3. Unwanted and unsolicited conversations about home and place of origin can be complicated for people of the diaspora. Look at the privilege you have in being able to claim a place like home.
4. Be a nomad! In some cultures, this is taboo, immature unstable behavior, and in other cultures, it is the social norm to go fly and spread your wings and be adventurous.
For questions and shareouts and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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In this week's episode, we discuss life after the degree. Listen as we talk about what our lives were like right after obtaining the MSW degree, having expectations versus not having expectations of ourselves as clinicians and the field’s overemphasis on choosing a setting and a population. Dive in as we discuss our figure out current ways to customize our professional careers to suit our individual talents, interests, and strengths.
Are we masochists or gluttons for punishment for staying in this field?
Key takeaways from this episode:
1. Diversify your experiences. Get one school placement and one hospital placement with the goal of gaining experience in the higher-paying sectors. Don’t be afraid to work in the hood, hood, hood.
2. Gain experience working for a child protection or adoption agency, group home, or a residential setting or in-home therapy work. You will develop strong clinical skills and crisis management skills. Everyone should have some community-based experience to develop a variety of skills.
3. This is hard ass work. Do not shy away from the uncomfortable and hard tasks and conversations with clients. Seek out mentorship and strong supervision to help you grow and to develop grit.
4. Listen to feedback others give you about your strengths and use them to your advantage. Talk to seasoned clinicians and healers to hear what is it really like to work in the field.
5. If you are burnt out then make the plan to exit. Take a break and rest, reevaluate, and reset. Pivot. Don’t be afraid to move on. It is that simple.
6. Try to remember what got you into this field. Check-in with yourself and ask is what I am doing now still feeding me and my soul?
For questions and shareouts and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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In this week's episode, we discuss the concept of the Superwoman Complex. The dark side of the Superwoman complex is the fear of showing vulnerability. But at best, doing everything on our own is a recipe for stunted growth and, at worst, a path to burnout. Being continually caught up in the daily whirlwind often leads to losing perspective and a clear, current view of your market or field. Being head down all the time leads to isolation.
As seasoned multitaskers, we too often put multiple families and business needs ahead of our wellbeing, which means support systems don't exist when an emergency arises. Asking other people for help is hard. Yet overcoming this behavior and its underlying fears is essential for personal and business growth.
Key takeaways from today's episode:
1. Having a fear of vulnerability and overcompensating by being super independent can lead to burnout and stunted growth.
2. Having a head-down mentality to just focus on success can come at the cost of not looking up and seeing what you're missing, including connection with other people.
3. Our field adds an extra layer of pressure to be tough enough to hang. Any sign of weakness can be interpreted as not being strong enough or competent enough to be a "good social worker."
4. We can learn to set our boundaries. We don't always have to give, even if the people we are serving look like us.
5. Be conscious that no amount of accolades are enough for some of us. We may always feel like we have to overperform just to "make it" or be seen as good enough in a system of white supremacy.
This tendency doesn't only apply to work. It also impacts our dating/marriage and other interpersonal relationships.
Ask yourself what would happen if we didn't do everything or stopped being a "superwoman"? What would fall apart? Would it really?
For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com.
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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