In today’s video, I discuss how to handle the question: Are you in the wrong relationship or is it retroactive jealousy?



Read or watch below to learn strategies for dealing with doubts and figuring out if it’s the wrong relationship or retroactive jealousy.









Zachary Stockill: When you’re having unwanted, intrusive thoughts about your partner’s past, it’s easy to get stuck wondering if you’re in the right relationship.



You might question whether the issue is really yours or if retroactive jealousy means it’s time to move on.



In today’s video, I’ll share some thoughts to help you figure out if you’re in the right relationship while dealing with retroactive jealousy.



My name is Zachary Stockill, and since 2013, I’ve helped thousands of men and women around the world overcome retroactive jealousy and strengthen their relationships.



If this is your first time here and you want to learn more about what I do—or if you’re interested in working with me one-on-one—please click here.



Retroactive jealousy refers to unwanted, intrusive thoughts—often obsessive curiosity or what I like to call “mental movies”—about your partner’s past relationships, or their sexual and dating history.



You might struggle with just one of these symptoms, or all three.



But in essence, that’s what we mean when we talk about retroactive jealousy.



So how can you separate the mental noise caused by retroactive jealousy from real concerns about your relationship or your partner’s values?









Let’s get into it.



My first tip is to look beyond the retroactive jealousy itself—how do you feel about your partner when those intrusive thoughts aren’t taking over? How do you feel about their past when your mind is quiet?



Of course, emotions can go up and down—but healthy relationships are built on real trust, genuine love, a deep sense of safety, and a shared desire to grow.



You should feel like you’re moving forward together, both as individuals and as a couple.



If you’re not feeling that, it might be a sign that this isn’t the right relationship for you.



So pay attention to how you feel when your mind is calm and you’re feeling grounded.



In those moments, how do you truly feel about your partner and their past?







My second tip is to get clear on your core relationship values—what really matters to you in life and in love.



Ask yourself these questions when you’re not overwhelmed, but centered and calm.



Do you and your partner share complementary or compatible life goals and values? Do you feel respected, heard, and supported? Is there a real sense of mutual trust and emotional safety between you?



A good relationship isn’t about perfection—because no relationship is perfect—but it is largely about alignment and feeling like you’re growing in the same direction.



Alignment of vision and values really matters.



Another important tip is to check for consistency versus chaos.



Healthy relationships offer emotional steadiness—you feel safe, supported,