In today’s video, I discuss whether overcoming retroactive jealousy means being “indifferent to my partner’s past.”



Read or watch below to learn whether overcoming retroactive jealousy means being indifferent to my partner’s past and how to set healthy boundaries.









Zachary Stockill: I recently received an interesting comment from a viewer of this channel, suggesting that I share more personal thoughts on topics like retroactive jealousy.



In today’s video, I’ll be responding to the question: After overcoming retroactive jealousy, do I now feel indifferent to the past?



My name is Zachary Stockill, and since 2013, I’ve been helping men and women from around the world overcome retroactive jealousy and strengthen their relationships.



If you’re interested in working with me one-on-one or want to learn more about my work, please visit my website at retroactivejealousy.com.



And for those of you who are here for the first time, welcome!



The term retroactive jealousy refers to unwanted intrusive thoughts, often an obsessive curiosity, and what I like to call “mental movies” about your partner’s past relationships or their dating and sexual history.



And if you’re truly here for the first time, in 2013, I published a book called Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy.



In that book, I shared a personal look into my own journey of overcoming retroactive jealousy. I just realized the book is right behind me—my very first book.



In the early days of my blog, I also spoke quite openly about my own experiences with retroactive jealousy.









These days, I don’t talk much about my personal experience overcoming retroactive jealousy—at least not recently—because, in my mind, I’ve already covered it in detail.



Retroactive jealousy hasn’t been an issue in my life for many years, and I don’t expect it ever will be again.



Recently, I received a YouTube comment from a viewer who had two main points.



First, they suggested that I share more personal stories because viewers like them find it helpful.



Second, they were curious—now that I’ve overcome retroactive jealousy—whether I’ve become indifferent to the past, or at least to my partner’s past.



It’s a good question, and it really made me stop and think.



One common misconception people have about me—or they sometimes misinterpret what I say—is the idea that overcoming retroactive jealousy means becoming completely indifferent to your partner’s past, even when it conflicts with your values and boundaries.



For example, let’s say one of my personal boundaries is that I would never be with someone who has an OnlyFans account.



Just a random example—no hate to women on OnlyFans—but let’s say that’s a boundary someone has.



They come across my work, learn about overcoming retroactive jealousy, and sometimes misinterpret my message.



They might think, “Well, Zach says I need to overcome retroactive jealousy, so maybe the problem is with me. Maybe, even though this goes against my core values, I should just be indifferent to the fact that my girlfriend was once on OnlyFans.”