In today’s video, I discuss coaching for overcoming retroactive jealousy, and share a remarkable story from a recent client.



Read or watch below to learn strategies through coaching for overcoming retroactive jealousy.









Zachary Stockill: Maybe you could start by sharing a bit about where you were at emotionally before you decided to invest in coaching.



Paul: For me, I was probably at the lowest point of my life. And that’s saying a lot, because I lost my spouse four years ago.



But this—this came after jealousy had completely torn me apart.



It’s just that I never really fully healed from the grief and trauma of losing my spouse.



And honestly, the jealousy felt like a symptom of everything I was already struggling with.



So when I came to you, I was at the absolute lowest point in my life.



Zachary: What were some of the things you had tried before to deal with this?



Like you mentioned, you had been in therapy before and tried a few different things.



Yeah, I’ve seen psychotherapists, tried different kinds of therapy like EMDR, even read a bunch of books. But none of it really stuck with me.



I tried to be open and honest in those sessions, and for a while I’d think it was working—but the issues would always come back.



And with the jealousy, I don’t think I ever really got to the root of it or was pushed to face the deeper issues behind it.



So it would just keep coming back over and over again.



Zachary: And what were some of the things you used to do because of the retroactive jealousy—in terms of your actions or how it made you feel?



What kind of toll was this taking on your life?



Paul: Oh, it was huge. I’d sit in my car, just stuck in my head, playing out these painful scenarios over and over.







I put my fiancée—my girlfriend at the time—through so much, constantly asking questions, digging, needing reassurance.



I’d get angry with her and blame her for things that happened years ago—stuff from like 20 years back.



And my self-worth was at an all-time low.



I eventually reached a point where I just couldn’t take it anymore—it felt like my mind was breaking. It was honestly horrendous. The thoughts were constant, nonstop.



I couldn’t even be intimate with my girlfriend without my mind spiraling into jealousy, imagining situations with her ex. It just never ended.



Zachary: So what made you finally take the leap and sign up for coaching?



Paul: Honestly, it was the self-destruction caused by the jealousy.



I hit a point where I just said to myself—I have to fix this. I didn’t feel like I had a choice anymore. I had already torn my life apart, and I knew I couldn’t keep living that way.



Zachary: And now as I’m talking to you today, I think it’s been about two months since we started working together.



So how would you compare how you’re feeling now to before you started coaching?



Paul: Oh, good lord. I’m in a completely different place now.



Honestly, the shift in my mindset over the past eight weeks has been huge.