Home
Categories
EXPLORE
True Crime
Comedy
Society & Culture
Business
Sports
History
Kids & Family
About Us
Contact Us
Copyright
© 2024 PodJoint
Loading...
0:00 / 0:00
Podjoint Logo
US
Sign in

or

Don't have an account?
Sign up
Forgot password
https://is1-ssl.mzstatic.com/image/thumb/Podcasts211/v4/91/44/19/91441979-f645-3640-308e-5731ad47981e/mza_3667186072209610251.jpeg/600x600bb.jpg
The Wizard Wheezes
OllivandersVoices
59 episodes
2 weeks ago

A podcast for Fan Fiction Audiobooks, read by yours truly!


All recordings are created and distributed with the authors knowledge, and links to the original works will always be available in the description.


If you have created a Fan Fiction that you would like to have recorded on the show, please don't hesitate to contact me at oliversvoenquiries@gmail.com.


Theme music is:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
Books
Arts,
Performing Arts,
Fiction,
Drama
RSS
All content for The Wizard Wheezes is the property of OllivandersVoices and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.

A podcast for Fan Fiction Audiobooks, read by yours truly!


All recordings are created and distributed with the authors knowledge, and links to the original works will always be available in the description.


If you have created a Fan Fiction that you would like to have recorded on the show, please don't hesitate to contact me at oliversvoenquiries@gmail.com.


Theme music is:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
Books
Arts,
Performing Arts,
Fiction,
Drama
Episodes (20/59)
The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 27

Chapter 27 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
3 days ago
1 hour 2 minutes 52 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 26

Chapter 26 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
1 week ago
50 minutes 4 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 25

Chapter 25 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
2 weeks ago
58 minutes 59 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 24

Chapter 24 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
3 weeks ago
1 hour 51 minutes 25 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 23

Chapter 23 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
1 month ago
1 hour 19 minutes 34 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 22

Chapter 22 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
1 month ago
1 hour 7 minutes 21 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 21

Chapter 21 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
1 month ago
52 minutes 56 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 20

Chapter 20 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
2 months ago
34 minutes 42 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 19

Chapter 19 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
2 months ago
1 hour 2 minutes 55 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 18

Chapter 18 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
2 months ago
1 hour 2 minutes 26 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 17

Chapter 17 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
2 months ago
58 minutes 30 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 16

Chapter 16 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
3 months ago
1 hour 4 minutes 8 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 15

Chapter 15 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
3 months ago
1 hour 25 minutes 35 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 14

Chapter 14 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
3 months ago
1 hour 22 minutes 52 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 13

Chapter 13 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
3 months ago
1 hour 9 minutes 17 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 12

Chapter 12 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
4 months ago
47 minutes 43 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 11

Chapter 11 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
4 months ago
1 hour 6 minutes 12 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 10

Chapter 10 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
4 months ago
1 hour 4 minutes 55 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 9

Chapter 9 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
5 months ago
50 minutes 57 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes
A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 8

Chapter 8 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


Authors Summary:

"It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


Intro & Outro Music:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
5 months ago
19 minutes 59 seconds

The Wizard Wheezes

A podcast for Fan Fiction Audiobooks, read by yours truly!


All recordings are created and distributed with the authors knowledge, and links to the original works will always be available in the description.


If you have created a Fan Fiction that you would like to have recorded on the show, please don't hesitate to contact me at oliversvoenquiries@gmail.com.


Theme music is:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.