The Vibe: Milton ignored Vivian's advice to take his wife on a date for TNF, and while the Dolphins put up a "cute" fight, it was mostly just more dinking and dunking from Tua. The real story is the endless parade of injuries falling like... well, pets' heads.
TNF Recap: The Bills beat the Dolphins 31-21, but the score is deceiving. It took Tua 26 attempts to get 100 yards. The only highlight was Jaylen Waddle finally catching a TD, though his celebration was "pretty cringe."
The News: The IR list grows ever longer. Packers WR Jayden Reed is out after successful foot and clavicle surgeries. Vikings RB Aaron Jones is on IR, replaced by Cam Akers. Commanders QB Jayden Daniels (knee) is out, making it the Marcus Mariota show. Key players like Zach Charbonnet, Tucker Kraft, and half the Bears defense are also banged up.
The Game Script: Our look ahead at the key Week 3 matchups:
Falcons at Panthers (+5.5): A get-right game for Atlanta's defense against a terrible Panthers O.
Packers at Browns (+8): The Packers' tough defense vs. a statuesque Joe Flacco. Temper expectations for Josh Jacobs.
Bengals at Vikings (-3): The Jake Browning revenge game! "They never should've f****** cut me!"
Cowboys at Bears (+1): A revenge game for Cowboys DC Matt Eberflus returning to Chicago. A big spot for Dak and CeeDee.
SNF: Chiefs at Giants (+6): Someone's 0-2 streak has to end. Could be a massacre.
The Depth Chart: Our organized run-through of sneaky starts:
QB: Mac Jones (vs. ARI's 26th-ranked pass D), Caleb Williams (vs. DAL's shaky secondary)
WR: Hunter Renfrow (CAR - somehow relevant again), Matthew Golden (GB - leading the NFL in ASS... Average Separation Score), Wan'Dale Robinson (NYG - PPR machine)
RB: Rhamondre Stevenson (vs. PIT's generous run D), Jordan Mason (MIN - lead back with Jones out), Kenneth Walker III (vs. NO - no Charb, all volume)
TE: Juwan Johnson (NO - leads all TEs in targets, faces SEA's TE-friendly defense)
DEF/K: Stream the Colts (vs. TEN), Falcons (vs. CAR), or Jaguars (vs. HOU). For kickers, target Spencer Shrader, Joey Slye, or Will Reichard.
Lock It In: Our strongest picks for Week 3 are Kenneth Walker III, Caleb Williams, Rhamondre Stevenson, Romeo Doubs, Juwan Johnson, and the Colts D/ST.
Tune in for the full breakdown to help you navigate the injury-pocalypse. Get your waivers ready, and as always, like and subscribe! And just like Aaron Jones's hamstring, we are DONE!