010 - "Can I touch your hair?" is a question a lot of African-Americans hear at some point in their life. The question seems so innocent, so innocuous, but is it? Co-hosts Randy Bonser and Mel Turner explore the layered meaning behind this simple question and explain how touching someone's hair harkens back to when Black people were treated as animals or circus acts, and they point out the uncomfortable power dynamic the question brings up. We also feature special guest Dr. Ange...

009 - "Things are good ... do we still need this podcast?" is the first publication of our second season at TWPGTIS. After the conviction of George Floyd's and Ahmaud Arbery's killers, some of the racial tension in the U.S. has been reduced. But does that mean things are "good"? Majority race folks got really involved in cross-racial conversations in 2020, and to a lesser extent in 2021, and now in 2022, there's a tangible feeling of "Stop talking about race, it makes me uncomfortable!...

008 - This is a continuation of Mel and Randy's discussion on white privilege and what it means. White folks get very worked up when someone mentions privilege because they do not want to be seen as racist or having an unfair advantage. Many people -- in fact, most people -- have some type of privilege. "White" privilege is a function of hundreds of years of American history in which White people were shown to the front of the line and given the benefit of the doubt in many types of circumsta...

#007 - "White Privilege" is a phrase that seems to trigger a lot of White folks. They imagine that they are being accused of racism, or having a silver spoon dangling from their mouth, or that they are harming others just by being of European background. But privilege is none of those things. Many people -- in fact, most people -- have some type of privilege. If you have parents who stressed the importance of going to college, you have a type of privilege. If you ask, "What am I going t...

006 - The statement "You are so well-spoken!", although it may be meant as a compliment by a White person, is not a compliment. Cohosts Randy and Mel explain that the phrase may come out as "I didn't know you were Black from the way you talk" or "You sound just like a white person." However the phrase comes out, "You are so well-spoken" reveals an innate negative expectation. It sounds like you thought the person you are talking to was going to speak an unintelligible sub-language...

005 - "Some of my best friends are black", which was Episode 4, finished, and hosts Randy Bonser and Mel Turner just kept on talking. So this is part 2 of that episode. In particular, the friends discuss the "C" (Commitment) in author Jemar Tisby's "ARC" of racial reconciliation To read about the ARC, go to our web site (InsensitiveSpeech.com) and read the blog that explains the acronym. Or better yet, read Tisby's The Color of Compromise. Randy explains why Tisby's ARC is not complete becaus...

004 - "Some of my best friends are black" is a joke in the media, and most white people kind of know not to say it. But why shouldn't we say that if it's (sort of) true? In this episode co-hosts Randy and Mel discuss how sometimes we majority folk fall back on this phrase as a way to: Prove how "down" we areMake a jokeBut sometimes, this phrase is a way to: 3. Shut off conversation because we just "got got" (as Mel explains in this episode) 4. Tell a pe...

003 - Co-hosts Randy and Mel explain why the statement that a person does not see color is not only false, but offensive. White people often say this as a way of saying, "I am not prejudiced," but the actual effect of the phrase is to demean a person's culture and heritage. We have our first call-in guest in this episode, Dr. Stacey Pearson-Wharton, a psychologist and college dean/counseling center director who hosts the podcast "The Dot." Dr. Stacey talks about why "not seeing color" i...

#002 - Ah, the 1980s, the "golden age of race relations" - if you were white! In this episode, Mel and Randy discuss how the phrase comes across to African Americans when a frustrated white person says, "Why can't we just go back to the way things were?" Using this phrase reveals that we majority folk have not always known -- or cared -- what was happening to people of color during eras we thought were peaceful or prosperous. For example, in Randy's native Metro Detroit, the 80s ...

#001 - In this introductory episode, hosts Randy Bonser and Mel Turner talk about the difficulties and joys of cross-racial relationships. They give a history of how they got together over coffee to talk about life, faith, and racial reconciliation. Why is starting on a “micro” level with friendships important to beginning a journey of empathy and achieving “macro” level anti-racist results? The most important aspects to becoming an "ally" are “time, empathy, and relationships.” But that is a...