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Darkness falls across the land
The midnight hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y’all’s neighborhood
And whosoever shall be found
Without the soul for getting down
Must stand and face the Hounds of Hell
And rot inside a corpse’s shell
The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of THE SIDE CHAT.
Happy Halloween, side chicks!
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There comes a moment in everyone woman's life when it's time to put down childish things and instead, pick up the mantle of our fore-mothers and embrace the ancient wisdom and innate knowing that only comes with maturity: the ladies of The Side Chat have officially aged into the DWTS discourse. And honestly, it feels RIGHT**
**Except for our feelings about Robert Irwin because those are most certainly WRONG.
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Something has taken ahold of The Side Chat - something primal, uncontrollable... something not totally of this world. An impulse that transcends simple wanting or desire. It's the urgent, undeniable NEED TO MAKE CHILI.
Clearly when the ladies are without Trish, the show goes a bit off the rails. And by "off the rails" we mean topics that NPR has deemed "too mild for primetime." But if you're interested in hearing hot takes on movies that have been out for 30 years or ever considered Dorothy Hamill an unsung hair icon, this episode is for you.
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This week on The Side Chat, the girls are running away from home and straight into the unsuspecting arms of Mitt Romney. Kris poses a classic question: what would you do if you won the Powerball (a whole HALF A MILLION DOLLARS*)? But it turns out, that’s hard to answer when your dreams have already come true—namely, scoring a no-contact selfie with your favorite local politician in a Walgreens parking lot after years of manifestation. From there, the ladies dive into a piping-hot SIDE CHAT about a playdate payment plan that always ends in nonconsensual pizza–in the morning, in the evening, and yes, even at suppertime.**
*This math doesn't math.
**The Bagel Bites legal team has asked us to clarify that due to recent pizza hour ordinances, all persons, entities, or sentient snack enthusiasts shall cease and desist from interpreting the presence of pizza on a bagel as conferring the unfettered right to eat pizza “anytime.”
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**The ladies of The Side Chat are hard at work on big plans for SEASON 3. While you wait, please enjoy this re-chat of one of our favorite past episodes.*
The girls are on their fall bullsh*t as they discuss people pleasing, hurricanes, and trypophobia (this one is for the #trypoFREAKS). They also have their very first on-mic fight over a SIDE CHAT for good that leaves everyone worried about the health of producer Evan's ankles.
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It's the Season 2 Finale and the ladies of The Side Chat are going out with a bang (and a bra)! Coming off the heels of Cait and Krissy's recent confessions about their lack of basic bra hygiene (#castironskillet), the gals are joined this week by a very special guest - Rebeka Polgar, founder of Tigers Eye - an award-winning company on a mission to design the best sports bra ever created, backed by science. Rebeka breaks down why supporting the girls is so important - and even issues a sweat-smell challenge to Krissy who has been training her whole life for this moment. Then in one final SIDE CHAT to close out the season, the girls unpack the refund policy on group trips after a last-minute bachelorette party cancelation leaves two alpha females locked in a cold war text exchange.
https://tigerseyebra.com/
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