People often think that being “nice” means you will be “safe” in the world, and others won’t hurt you or take advantage of you. Unfortunately, being nice is often a people-pleasing tendency that seeks to pacify what we believe others want at the expense of our needs, honesty, and healthy relationship. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/US2LfZpdS0I *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

You can’t change the world around you but when YOU change, the world around you begins to adjust. As you get healthier, set better boundaries, and become more peaceful, your world will become calmer, safer, and more positive. Bad things will still happen, because that’s a part of life, but the world around you will always be a reflection of what’s in you. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/US2LfZpdS0I *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Going to therapy is about self-exploration and self-understanding. You learn more about yourself as your therapist reflects you back to yourself. If you’re focused on trying to earn your therapist’s approval by being a “good client,” then you’re missing the point and not getting what you need out of therapy. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Can psychology and spirituality play nice together? Many people believe they cannot mix but we argue they can - and should. Whether a client wants to involve their spiritual beliefs or not, therapy should make space for it without forcing it upon anyone so this important part of life can be addressed. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/5lHC5hMRxTM *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Without advocating for or against medication, we address the importance of understanding how it can play a part in the direction therapy goes. As therapists, we don’t need to know as much as prescribers (Primary Care Docs or Psychiatrists) do, but we should be familiar with medication so therapy can include this critical piece of the puzzle. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/itDFsJHafXg *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Saying “I’m fine” to people when asked how you’re doing, may not be the emotionally honest answer. Sure, there are times and places to give a socially acceptable answer. But with people close to you, this answer blocks connection and prevents closeness in relationships. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/US2LfZpdS0I *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

If there’s something in your life you keep doing that it’s healthy and you know you need to change but can’t seem to get started, this episode is for you. We often cling to unhealthy patterns because they’re familiar and changing means walking into the unknown-which is hard to do! Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/sheCzwfPVY0 *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

If you’ve ever thought you’re too much, crazy, too boring, or too dumb when you share with your therapist, you might have a specific wound that the therapeutic relationship an help heal. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/US2LfZpdS0I *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Amber Drake is a current graduate student attending UH at Hilo, studying clinical mental health counseling and graduating in May 2025. She’s doing an internship at Aloha House, a partial hospitalization program, volunteers with NAMI Maui, sits on the state board of directors with NAMI Hawaii, is a NAMI Maui affiliate leader, and is certified as a youth mental health first aid instructor. Amber sat down with us to share her story about how NAMI helped her recover from mental illness, which led her to a career in the mental health field and active participation with the organization that helped her. Nat'l Alliance on Mental Illness: https://www.nami.org/ Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Many people go to therapy because they struggle to feel emotions. Intellectualizing problems is a common way of coping with overwhelming feelings, but it prevents you from feeling. If this is you, here's what you can do about it. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/gH1-rKsXj30 *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Going to therapy every week is a great thing, but what makes it effective is when you practice something different between sessions toward meaningful change. We discuss some reasons why you might struggle with doing the work outside the therapy office, and what you can do to address this with your therapist. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/HSpRej2Pze4 *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

When you decide to go to therapy, it's usually because you've recognized something has become problematic in your life and it needs to change. Bringing this to a therapist for help is a good start, but assuming the therapist knows what you need can prevent you from taking ownership of your needs and directing sessions to meet your needs best. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

The purpose of therapy is to learn more about yourself so you can make meaningful changes - to “get better.” Sometimes there are obstacles that can get in the way of that process, from both the therapist or the client. The right combination should be help you make progress, even if it takes some time to get there. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/cWs0lKBfyF8 *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Some people view therapy as a “product” that can be “consumed” at any location, while others view it as a “service” that requires more of a “specialist.” Neither is right or wrong, but knowing what is being sought in therapy can help the client and therapist get on the same page and work together toward the same goals. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/JCv4p2cAuow *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

When you can give yourself compassion and tolerate your own emotional experiences, you can hold space for others and be present with their emotional experiences. This is a great skill that can transform your relationships and move conversations to what the real issues are. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/oDc_qXREIWk *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

The second and most destructive of the four “horseman” that the Gottmans identify as a relationship killer is contempt. Contempt involves taking a one-up position of superiority and shaming the other person. The antidote to contempt is a culture of appreciation in the relationship. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/QmOqghcAoOU *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Why do some people just “talk talk talk” in a monologue in therapy? It could be that this kind of verbal processing is what they need to explore and understand what it is they think or feel, and the space given by a therapist facilitates it. If you’re not sure, having a conversation between therapist and client about this dynamic can help both of you understand each other and work together best. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: Visit our YouTube Channel *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

The fourth and final of the Gottman “horsemen” is stonewalling-withdrawing and disengaging from the conversation to build a kind of “wall” between you and your partner. This usually comes from physiological overwhelm called “flooding,” where the stonewaller shuts down and chooses to disengage. The antidote to stonewalling is taking time to calm down and re-engaging. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/pZxY1vhhWlU *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

The third “horseman” of the relational apocalypse is defensiveness, usually as a response to criticism. Defensiveness is a form of self-protection from a perceived attack, usually from a place of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood. The antidote to defensiveness is accepting responsibility for your role in the conflict or situation. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

John & Julie Gottman founded the Love Lab at the UW in Seattle, WA which can predict with 94% accuracy whether a couple will stay together based on observing the first several minutes of their argument. The Gottmans discovered four relationship killers called “the four horsemen”; the first one being criticism. Criticism is when you attack the person or character rather than address the behaviors. The relationship antidote to criticism is a soft startup. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/2PUwgGAViUE *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/