Listen, Charlie Brown: We all know podcasts are a big commercial racket.

Children are dropped in a river & left to die, and also a dog punches a cat in the face twice.

A decathlon unfolds in real time, and a boy learns about the loneiness of the long distance runner. Also: a dog wears a mask but doesn't have pupils, and everyone's cool with it.

A dog drinks a mug full of nickels, and a boy is harnessed & whipped.

A football game happens in real time. A boy suffers a devastating concussion. Also, a dog can fly, and everyone's cool with it.

We have a good old fashioned Lump Dump with one-man blandishment department Ken Plume.

Stupid children plant trees in a stupid baseball field and then it rains. Also, a dog puts a bird in a copying machine.

A boy gets a concussion, and is placed in a kennel. Also, a dog reads pornography.

Sad children learn that love is garbage. Also, a dog pelts a child with garbage.

Animator & writer Leigh Lahav brings a fresh perspective on Christmas, America, Stranger Things, and more in our annual revisit of A Charlie Brown Christmas.

A dog goes away, and comes back, and goes away, and comes back. Also, he punches two children in the face.

Children ride escalators, and a girl doesn't know how eggs work. Also, a bird has a swingin' bachelor pad.

A bird and a dog try to find a stolen nest. Also, a dirty child is lonely.

A bird and a dog try to find a stolen nest. Also, a dirty child is lonely.

An awful child invites herself over to her weak-willed friends' house, and is upset that she is force-fed starch. Also, a dog and a chair fight to the death.

Children are bad at school, interpersonal relationships, art appreciation, and personal pronouns. Also, a dog gets his foot stuck in a shopping cart.

A boy runs for student body president. A girl can't open her locker. Also, a dog wears sunglasses, and prepares himself a well-balanced breakfast (though not at the same time).

A terrible girl loves a terrible boy who does not love her back… because he is terrible, and she is terrible. She gives him an opportunity to play his music in front of a live audience; he's a dipshit. Also, some things are in cans, and a girl is angry at a jump rope & everything else in the whole stupid world.

For our two-part HOLIDAY SPECTACULAR, Nicole Dieker and Andy Cownden join us to talk about Eric Schaeffer's popular stage adaptation of _A Charlie Brown Christmas_.

A boy enters a spelling. Also, a dog drinks three glasses of water.