Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/
Ever wondered what really goes down on a Temptation Cruise? Think clothing-optional pool decks, wild theme nights, and the kind of freedom you definitely don’t get on a regular vacation.
In this episode, I sit down with Mario Cruz, the Cruise Director who knows all the secrets, to share why these couples-only trips keep selling out. From first-timers finding their confidence to hands-on BDSM workshops and sensual massage classes, Mario gives us a peek behind the curtain at what really makes Temptation Cruises unforgettable.
If you’ve ever thought about lifestyle travel or just want to know why people call this “spring break for adults,” this is the episode that will have you ready to pack your bags.
Episode Highlights:
(00:00) What Happens Inside The Temptation Cruises
(04:05) Exploring the Lifestyle on Board
(06:56) Cruise Itineraries and Destinations
(11:33) Educational Workshops and Activities
(17:34) Booking Information and Upcoming Cruises
Join the Temptation Cruises
https://temptationcruises.com/
Connect with Me:
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/
Back on The Kink Consultant, Larah Sky shares what really goes down when you’re running chastity challenges like Sexless September and Locktober. From easy-mode orgasm schedules to full denial, she breaks down why men keep signing up for chastity plans and what keeps them coming back for more. We also get into the chaos of OnlyFans rules, the viral TikToks that blew up her business, and why chastity has become one of the most talked-about kinks online.
If you’ve been thinking about trying chastity, or just want to know what makes it so addictive, this episode gives you the inside scoop (and a good laugh along the way).
Episode Highlights:
(00:00) Sexless September and Chastity Challenges
(09:29) Chastity and Sissy Play
(15:49) Challenges with Content Platforms
(19:56) Challenges and Strategies on OnlyFans
(22:27) Content Restrictions
(32:01) Chastity World and Future Plans
Connect with Larah Sky
Type “Larah Sky is legendary on Google” or check out:
Connect with Me:
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/
What makes something a kink, and what makes it a fetish? And can you find your life partner when you either?
In this episode, I sit down in person with content creator and professional dom, Miz Darling to explore the deep, messy, and meaningful world of fetish. From spanking and feet, to nylons and cuckolding, we unpack what makes a fetish different from a kink, how these desires form, and how they show up in long-term love and relationships. We also talk about the book we’re co-writing, Complicated Pleasures, and why it was important to tell real stories of fetishists navigating relationships, intimacy, and identity.
This episode isn’t just about what turns people on, it’s about how to stay connected when your desires don’t fit the script. Tune in to learn why fetish is really about power, communication, and finding romance in the most unexpected places.
Episode Highlights:
(0:00) Exploring Common Fetishes
(12:29) Introducing the Book Project: Complicated Pleasures
(14:19) The Stigma Around Fetishes
(15:08) Exploring Relationship Dynamics
(19:51) Personal Experiences with Fetishes
(22:53) Embracing Your Sexuality
(27:00) How to Get Involved
Submit Your Stories:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdD19PrOEehu7UqLmOo4iISRJe2M7L6VyD0FcTSn0s6A88p0A/viewform
More details about the book: https://complicatedpleasures.ca/
Connect with Me:
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/
If you’ve been on more first dates than you can count and you’re still single, chances are you’re making dating mistakes you didn’t even know about.
In this episode, I sit down with Lana Ricco, host of the Dating Makeover show and podcast, to dig into the biggest dating mistakes that are quietly keeping people single. From chasing the wrong type of partner, to ignoring red and green flags around money, marriage, and family, Lana breaks down how to approach dating with clarity, strategy, and confidence.
We talk about why men and women often marry for very different reasons, how to spot the difference between dominance and toxic “alpha” energy, and why your mindset going into a date matters just as much as your outfit. Lana also shares her own story of getting engaged within days of meeting her husband, and the key questions she asked up front that made the difference.
If you’re ready to stop repeating patterns, avoid the traps that keep you stuck, and finally give your dating life a makeover, this conversation will show you where to begin.
Episode Highlights:
(00:00) The Concept of Dating Makeover
(02:50) Insights on Men and Marriage
(12:45) Understanding Dominance in Relationships
(17:16) Understanding Submissiveness and Dominance
(19:55) Cultural Differences in Relationships
(23:19) Finding the Right Partner
(30:52) Core Questions for Relationship Success
(31:40) Knowing When You’re Ready to Date
Connect with Lana Ricco
https://www.instagram.com/lana.ricco/
https://www.youtube.com/@LanaRicco
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-makeover-with-lana-ricco/id1819348183
Connect with Me:
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
This episode was recorded weeks before Koby passed. We’re sharing it with love and gratitude, in memory of him. It’s a chance to hear his voice, his story, and his spirit one more time.
In this episode, I get to talk to Koby Falks, adult performer, OnlyFans star, and live sex show headliner, to talk about what it’s like building a career that spans continents, from Australia to the UK and beyond.
We get into the realities of performing live on stage, navigating the gay vs. straight OnlyFans markets, and why building a recognizable brand is the key to standing out. Koby also shares his experience on balancing relationships with a public sex work career, how kinks evolve over time, and why sexuality is always more fluid than labels suggest.
If you’ve ever wanted the inside story of global content creation and what it really takes to build a career that lasts in this scene, this episode is for you.
Episode Highlights:
00:51 Live Sex Shows in Australia
05:00 Marketing and Networking in the Gay Community
11:30 Maintaining a Business Relationship Post-Breakup
22:01 Global Adventures in Filming
24:49 Personal Kinks and Preferences
30:21 The Dynamics of Sexuality
34:18 Balancing Work and Personal Life
What does your dream girl look like?
In this episode, I get to talk with Pepper Kat about how she went from the newsroom to sex work, and why her background in TV and film now fuels her career in storytelling-driven erotica. We dive into the rise of breeding kink (and how Elon Musk weirdly influenced it), the reality of phone sex and camming, and the wildest requests Pepper’s ever gotten. She shares what it’s like to balance business and pleasure, the double lives that people lead to keep their fantasies hidden, why sex work is more mainstream than most people want to admit.
If you’ve ever been curious about the business of fantasy or wondered just how far people will go to make their desires real, this one’s for you.
Episode Highlights:
00:50 Design Your Dream Girl: A Customized Fantasy Experience
02:12 Exploring Popular Kinks and Trends
12:39 Phone Sex: Behind the Scenes
20:49 The Universality of Sexual Fantasies
27:26 Odd Requests and Custom Videos
30:46 Double Lives and Relationship Dynamics
32:54 Selling Bath Water and Other Merch
Connect with Pepper Kat:
Website: https://www.pepperkat.com/designyourdreamgirl
Podcast: https://www.pepperkat.com/heartfelt-perspectives
Connect with Me:
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here
Your butt cheeks also need some TLC…
In this episode, I’m joined by Flora, a fellow spanko and skincare enthusiast, to talk about keeping your most spanked asset healthy. From preventing scars and managing hyperpigmentation to speeding up bruise recovery and avoiding leather butt, Flora shares the routines, products, and doctor-approved tips that every impact bottom should know.
We break down the best ways to protect your skin before a weekend of play, what to do immediately after a scene, and how to keep your cheeks soft, smooth, and ready for the next round. Plus, we get into the realities of party drop, why volunteering matters, and why curiosity is the most underrated thing you can bring to any kink event.
If you want your marks to fade faster, your skin to recover quicker, and your other cheeks to get the same love as your face, this one’s for you.
Episode Highlights:
04:18 Managing Bruising and Skin Discoloration
07:30 Skincare Routines and Tips
13:46 The Texas Allstate Spanking Party Experience
18:31 Bottoms Up and Community Events
20:55 Daily and Post-Play Skincare Recommendations
24:13 Understanding and Treating Itchy Skin
31:47 Dealing with Leather Butt
33:23 The Role of Hydration and Nutrition
39:09 The Value of Attending Workshops and Classes
Connect with Flora:
FetLife: _f1ora
https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/163305/miss-kelley-may
Connect with Me:
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here.
Think you could handle working in a professional dungeon? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m back with Mistress Verna for Part 2 of our behind-the-scenes look at life as retired dominatrixes. We’re digging into how this work helped us explore and define our sexuality, the boundaries we had to build to stay safe, and the trust it took to thrive in a job built on power exchange.
We swap stories about some of our most unforgettable clients, what we learned about ourselves through this work, and whether we’d actually recommend dungeon life to someone curious about going pro. Spoiler alert: it’s not for the faint of heart, but it definitely gave us tools we still use to this day.
Tune in to hear what it really takes to be a pro dom, beyond the latex and fantasy, and why this career path changed how we see sex, power, and ourselves.
Episode Highlights:
02:34 Learning and Growth in the Dungeon
10:30 Unique Client Stories and Advice
21:55 Unusual Requests and Experiences
24:59 Building Friendships and Skills
30:59 Reflections on Being a Dominatrix
37:17 Advice for Aspiring Dominatrixes
Connect with Me:
Join The Kinky Book Club:
https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here.
What really goes on behind the velvet curtain of a New York City dungeon? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I catch up with my longtime friend and former dungeon-mate Mistress Verna to spill the tea on our years working as professional dominatrixes in one of the city's most infamous kink spaces.
We get into everything they don't show you in the movies — the hazing rituals, the gossip, the client mind games, the surprise police visits, and the unspoken rules that ran the place. We also talk about the real stuff: the power dynamics, the politics, and how we built safety, sisterhood, and strategy in a space that was chaotic at best and dangerous at worst.
Tune in to find out what really goes down in a professional dungeon and why being a pro dom isn't just about fantasy. It's about finesse, boundaries, and knowing exactly who’s in charge.
Episode Highlights:
00:51 The Reality of Working at the Dungeon
14:49 Client Interactions and Techniques
22:18 Reflecting on Client Dynamics
25:34 Client Lies and Secrets
27:08 Sex Rules and Gossip
31:01 Raids and Safety Protocols
36:37 Journalist Incident
Connect with Me:
Join The Kinky Book Club:
https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here.
Why is it so hard to talk about sex, even with people we trust? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by Tess and Kels, co-founders of Squirm and co-hosts of the Porn Nerds podcast, to explore how we can make sex ed not just informative but also sexy, playful, and actually useful.
We dive into their journey from coworkers to creative collaborators, their mission to destigmatize conversations about porn and desire, and how they built Squirm as a space where adult sex ed meets humor, eroticism, and real communication. From their audio course Oral Hygiene to their Get Squirmy card deck and live events, Tess and Kels are helping people go beyond shame and speak about sex with clarity, confidence, and creativity.
Whether you’ve struggled to talk about what turns you on, want to bring more curiosity into your kink conversations, or simply wish porn had a better PR team, this episode will expand your vocabulary, your imagination, and your confidence in navigating communication around sex, BDSM, and desire.
Get 20% off of the Get Squirmy Conversation Deck when you use the code: KINKCONSULTANT
https://www.getsquirmy.com/product-page/get-squirmy
Episode Highlights:
03:45 Introducing Squirm: Sex Ed for Adults
06:32 The Concept of Sexy Sex Ed
17:23 The Role of Porn in Sex Education
21:52 Contextualizing Media and Reality
25:20 Porn as a Tool for Sexual Exploration
27:06 Navigating Sexual Communication
36:45 Exploring the Get Squirmy Events
Connect with Tess and Kels
Connect with Me:
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here.
What actually allows us to feel safe in relationships? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by Aubrey Aust, a Master’s student at NYU researching relational safety, who explores themes of attachment styles, somatics, and kink to examine the systems and sensations that shape how we connect with others.
We talk about how BDSM dynamics bring power, vulnerability, and consent to the surface in ways that most relationships suppress. Aubrey shares why kink can serve as a relational laboratory, how cultural scripts influence our nervous systems, and what it means to move through the world with curiosity and care. We also dive into shadow work, language around needs, and how we unlearn what no longer protects us.
Whether you're navigating kink, reflecting on past patterns, or rethinking how you build safety with others, this conversation is a powerful starting point. You’ll walk away with deeper insight into your own relational wiring and why safety is about more than just feeling comfortable.
Episode Highlights:
02:40 Power Dynamics in Relationships
06:32 Attachment Styles and Safety
11:58 Language and Communication in Relationships
15:26 Somatic Psychology and Healing
18:07 Exploring EMDR Therapy
22:12 Unlearning and Healing
Connect with Aubrey
https://instagram.com/aubrey__aust
https://www.linkedin.com/in/aubrey-aust-8b7744174/
Connect with Me:
Join The Kinky Book Club:
https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here.
Ever wondered what it’s like to be the face and body on the cover of your favorite romance novel? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with real-life couple Jose and Andrea (aka Mama) to talk about what it’s like to build a modeling career out of smut, how kink became part of their dynamic, and the power of being seen, desired, and fully expressed.
We dive into how Mama helped launch Jose’s modeling and acting career, what it means to embody fantasy for an audience while staying grounded in real-life connection, and how kink helped deepen their intimacy after decades together. From daddy/little dynamics to caretaking, long-distance journaling, and the gift of growing older while still exploring, this conversation is equal parts sexy, sweet, and deeply affirming.
Whether you’ve ever dreamed of being on a book cover, or you’re just curious what it’s like behind the scenes of a real-life smut model relationship, this one’s for you.
Episode Highlights:
01:01 From Childhood Friends to Lifelong Partners
05:53 Transitioning from Military to Modeling
12:02 Exploring Romance Novels Together
14:31 Opening Up About Desires
21:59 Navigating Book Conventions
32:35 Balancing Personal and Couple Growth
36:10 Jose's Journey into Acting
39:45 Advice for Aspiring Cover Models
Connect with Me:
Join The Kinky Book Club:
https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here.
What happens when a professional dom and pleasure coach sits down to unpack the psychology of kink, power, and pleasure?
In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by the brilliant Sir Marvelous, a pro dom, educator, and content creator who's on a mission to make BDSM more accessible, intentional, and deeply satisfying. From his early journey with sex toys to his current work guiding individuals and couples through personalized kinky experiences, this conversation is full of both fire and insight.
We talk about everything from the difference between dominance and leadership, to the importance of safe, ongoing negotiation in kink sessions. Sir Marvelous shares his thoughts on why BDSM isn’t just about play. It’s about learning, evolving, and closing the pleasure gap through communication. We dive into topics like edging, mind play, denial, why submission doesn’t mean weakness, and how even a simple sex toy changed the trajectory of his life (shoutout to that random man outside the NYC sex shop!). He also opens up about his teaching philosophy, the role of ego in intimacy, and the importance of making space for joy, curiosity, and mutual exploration.
If you’ve ever been curious about what it’s like to hire a pro dom, how to introduce kink to your relationship, or why pleasure is something worth investing in, this episode is packed with truth bombs and transformative takeaways. Tune in and discover how BDSM can be a path to connection—not just in the bedroom, but in life.
Episode Highlights:
01:27 Understanding Pro Dom and Pleasure Coach
10:17 The Importance of Continuous Learning in Kink
17:20 Empowering Women Through Sexual Liberation
19:39 Shifting Preferences in Adult Content
25:32 Discovering Kink
31:06 The Importance of Communication in BDSM
Connect with Sir Marvelous
Connect with Me:
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here.
My favorite kink singer-songwriter needs our help. Deore, the incredible artist behind the Brat EP, is back and this time, she’s gearing up to release a full-length concept album called Tantrums. But in true brat fashion, she’s doing it her way: no label, no safety net, and fully trusting her kinky, ride-or-die community to bring it to life.
In this episode of The Kink Consultant, we talk about what it means to quit your job, follow your creative calling, and make music that actually reflects the reality of kink. Deore opens up about writing Tantrums from scratch, navigating service sub dynamics while in creative mode, and the very bratty legal battle over a coffee ban that had all of Instagram in stitches. We also get into how kink shows up in her relationship, how her Dom evolved alongside her, and why the idea of “ready-made” Doms is a myth.
If you’e also craving for more kinky music or just want to support someone making wildly accurate, emotionally raw bangers about submission, dominance, and desire, this is the episode (and the crowdfund) to show up for. Head to Indiegogo and search Tantrums to support the album before time runs out.
Support The Album Here:
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/tantrums-a-kinky-concept-album#/
Connect with Deore:
https://www.instagram.com/deorebby/
Episode Highlights:
01:44 The Journey of Creating the Brat Album
09:20 The Kink Council and Coffee Ban Saga
21:11 Challenges in Music Production
21:42 Overcoming Vulnerability and Trust Issues
24:18 Crowdfunding and Community Support
26:31 Kink and Relationship Dynamics
28:52 The Role of Media in Kink Exploration
34:39 Upcoming Album and Crowdfunding Details
Connect with Me:
I’m Co-Authoring a Book! Get updated here:
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here.
What happens when a self-proclaimed vanilla romance lover brings a spicy book to The Kink Consultant for a breakdown?
In this episode, I’m joined by Brenda (my Bizdom) and Tish (my podcast editor and first-time guest) as we kick off the official Kink Consultant Book Club with a deep dive into The Deep End by Ali Hazelwood, plus a quick update on my own dating life. I share my take on the book through the lens of a kink consultant and why the story felt a little too close to home. Because while we were reading about a dom who disappears for days and a sub who doesn’t speak up for what she needs, I was ending a real-life relationship that unraveled for the exact same reason: lack of communication. The timing couldn’t have been more aligned.
We explore the difference between fantasy and functional dynamics, how kink is portrayed in books versus how it plays out in real life, and why honest communication will always be hotter than skipping straight to the sex.
If you’ve ever read a spicy scene and thought, “Wait… is this how it actually works?” or you’re curious about how kink and power exchange show up beyond the page, this one’s for you.
Episode Highlights:
04:21 Discussing 'The Deep End' by Ali Hazelwood
11:01 Amanda's Relationship Update
15:09 Navigating Kink and Communication in Relationships
19:03 Cultural Differences in Communication
20:44 The Importance of Communication in Kink
25:32 Sexual vs. Non-Sexual Kinks
30:29 Fantasy vs. Reality in Kink
35:29 Final Thoughts on 'The Deep End'
36:32 Join the Kink Consultant Book Club
Join the Book Club:
https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership
Read Deep End by Ali Hazelwood:
Connect with Me:
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here.
Is it possible to find a partner that matches your freak? In Part 2 of my conversation with Kai and Sarah, we dig into what it really looks like to build a relationship around a shared spanking fetish, emotional compatibility, and a power exchange dynamic that works in real life, not just in fantasy.
We explore how their connection evolved from long-distance play partners to a deeply aligned partnership, the structure behind their domestic discipline, and the rituals and rules that support their relationship. They also share how they navigate playing with others, how punishment shows up beyond spanking, and what happens when things don’t go as planned in a scene.
Whether you're dreaming of a dynamic like theirs, navigating kink in your own relationship, or simply curious about how this can look in real life, this episode offers insight, nuance, and a reminder that there is no one way to build something meaningful, just your way.
Episode Highlights:
03:48 Building a Relationship with Power Exchange
15:27 Daily Rituals and Alternative Punishments
21:47 Struggles and Acceptance of Spanking Desires
23:57 The Depth of Kinky Relationships
34:16 The Importance of Community
39:27 Rules and Consequences in Spanko Dynamics
44:46 Advice for Newcomers
46:42 Future Projects and Normalizing Fetishes
Read Kai’s Writings About Spanking:
Connect with Kai and Sarah
Connect with Me:
I’m Co-Authoring a Book! Get updated here:
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here.
What happens when two people spend years suppressing a core part of themselves only to realize that denying their identity comes at too high a cost? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Kai and Sarah for Part 1 of a powerful two-part series exploring how their shared spanking fetish shaped their personal growth, relationships, and ultimately, their path to each other.
We talk about what it was like to try to “make it work” in partnerships that didn’t share their kink, the emotional toll of trying to suppress a core need, and how meeting one another brought clarity, healing, and fulfillment. This conversation goes deep into identity, compatibility, and the courage it takes to choose alignment over obligation.
Whether you’re wrestling with your identity, navigating kink in a relationship, or searching for connection that truly sees you, this episode offers perspective, validation, and the reminder that you're not alone.
In Part 2, we’ll dive into how Kai and Sarah play within their domestic discipline dynamic, how they navigate playing with others, and the rules and structure they’ve built to make it work, so stay tuned for that!
Episode Highlights:
02:53 Challenges in Relationships and Spanking
04:43 Finding Fulfillment and Community
17:03 Discipline and Accountability in Spanking
20:07 Reflecting on First Spanking Experiences
22:12 The Challenges of Exploring Kinks in Marriage
25:39 Finding Compatibility and Connection
31:26 Practicing Domestic Discipline
37:10 Advice for Those Struggling with Kink Acceptance
Connect with Kai and Sarah
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Book Mentioned:
Podcast Mentioned:
Never Too Old for Agoodspankin https://open.spotify.com/show/2nmEpCSJn9UEigZp3Z1uKc?si=2e07e3435b174154
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here.
What’s the deal with chastity and why are so many people obsessed with it?
In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I welcome back Larah Sky for her second appearance, and trust me, she delivers. Lara gets candid about the psychology behind chastity, why some men crave the cage, and what it really means to hold power in a dynamic built on denial.
We dive deep into virtual chastity, trust vs. control, emotional responsibility, and the growing appeal of long-term denial. Lara also shares how her experience as a sadist and content creator intersects with power exchange and why she believes true submission isn’t about the latex or the aesthetics, but about mindset. Plus, we talk ghosting subs, fan site pressures, and how boundaries and soft dom energy can still feel just as powerful.
Whether you're new to chastity or just curious about the deeper layers of kink, this episode blends education, honesty, and just the right amount of dominance. Tune in to hear how control, craving, and connection come together in the world of conscious kink.
Episode Highlights:
00:35 Recap of Previous Episode on Chastity
05:59 Exploring Kink and Fetish Parties
10:15 Strange Encounters and Dating Stories
17:08 Understanding Chastity Fantasies
21:23 Nudity and Femdom Perspectives
25:23 Motivational Domination
29:52 Soft Domination and Content Creation
Connect with Larah Sky:
Connect with Me:
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here.
What actually happens when you walk away from a BDSM dynamic that no longer works, and end up with someone who still can’t meet your needs, even after you’ve communicated them clearly, more than once? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Brenda (aka my BizDom) to share an honest and frustrating update on my dating life.
I talk about why I chose to leave a partner who understood my kinks but lacked consistency, and how I entered a new connection with someone who seemed open to kink but has shown little interest in learning more. To make things harder, consistent communication has become its own challenge, despite multiple conversations about what I need.
Whether you’ve been here yourself or are trying to avoid this cycle altogether, this episode offers a real look at the emotional toll of unmet needs, the importance of follow-through, and what it takes to stop settling for almost. Tune in for a candid conversation, some hard truths, and the kind of perspective that might just help you reset your own standards.
Episode Highlights:
01:48 BDSM Contract and Breakup
03:30 Dating and Political Differences
20:44 Navigating New Relationships
22:36 Recognizing Dominant Traits
23:14 Spanking Fetish and Boundaries
26:46 Communication Struggles
28:43 Feeling Unseen and Unheard
31:20 Reflecting on Compatibility
36:26 Bridget Jones Comparison
44:07 Setting Boundaries and Moving Forward
Connect with Me:
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here.
Keywords:
dating while kinky, bdsm dating dynamics, friends with benefits breakup, kink consultant podcast, emotional needs in relationships, bdsm communication, kink compatibility, dating red flags, how to talk about kink, bdsm and emotional connection, kink podcast, dating update podcast, dating someone who won’t communicate, unmet needs in relationships, breaking up with fwb, when kink isn’t enough, sex-positive podcast, kink and modern dating, effort in relationships, why communication matters, Dominant and submissive, Dom, sub
In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m back with Candace and Derek for Part 2 of our conversation, and trust me, it’s even juicier than the first. From pegging to big dick fantasies to how swinging became part of their love story. This is a real, vulnerable, and hilarious look into intimacy, growth, and letting go of shame.
We dive deep into how religious upbringing impacted Candace’s early sexuality, and how swinging became the unlikely key to her self-love and confidence. They open up about power dynamics, gender roles, jealousy, and the emotional safety it takes to build something that lasts even when other people are watching. We talk about everything from consent violations in group spaces to what it means to hold each other emotionally through sex with others. This isn’t your average swinger story. It’s a masterclass in communication, trust, and letting yourself be seen.
If you’ve ever wondered what real intimacy looks like when you add kink, faith, and a whole lot of dirty talk into the mix, this episode is for you. Tune in to hear how Candace and Derek turned religious pressure into empowered pleasure, and how they’re still rewriting the rules of what love and connection can look like.
Episode Highlights:
01:27 Exploring Sexuality and Self-Acceptance
04:13 Balancing Religion and Lifestyle
24:41 First Swinger Party Experience
29:49 Positive Feedback and Consent
37:32 Setting Boundaries and Communication
41:08 Handling Jealousy and Self-Discovery
42:45 Advice for Couples
Connect with Me:
Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.
https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here.
