Stage is set, and we’re gunna go right over the top..
with Cliches, claims and predictions that are gunna be hard to cop.
Don't despair, don't lose hope there’ll be smatterings of intelligent chat
But its the Grapple Baby and its finals…and that is mutha fuckin that
This week our heroes wax lyrical about the Rugby League Worlds very own T1000…Penrith can't be bargained with, they can’t be reasoned with. they don't feel pity, remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop... ever, until you are dead!
Can they get past the Prodigal Ponies on Sunday in a triumphant return to arvo finals footy? Most likely not as Madge will no doubt make some eyebrow raising, boneheaded, flummoxing selection changes when he should simply abide by the age old Rugby League adage-“too many hamstrings spoil the broth”.
Melbourne with the likely return of the Diver and little Papi seem certain to book a spot at the dance for 47th time under Bellyaches rein of terror, but standing in their way are a bunch of teeth bearing Selachimorpha, playing at a level and with a patience seldom seen in the genus since 2016. Two GF replays from the last decade. Prelim weekend never gets any better.
Speaking of species specific encounters, the felines take centre stage at the G on Saturday.
One mob hoping to slink through, scratch a post or two, piss on someone's jacket and settle down to a plate of Whiskas whilst paying no one any attention. Another looking to tear their way through a jungle, rip to shreds anything that dares to make contact and create a dynasty of the early 2000’s variety. Our heroes never doubted them.
Wallabies to bury the AB’s at Eden Park, Europe to go B2B in the Ryder Cup and as we’ve known for at least 3 weeks now, The Colts are gunna win the Super Bowl.
No Broader problem but definitely plenty of Grappling to be done, just like Buzz Grappling with who his next faux feud needs to be with.
Hey Liver Lips.... Come Get some.
Grapple out.
As things in the NRL start heat up in the finals, one Rooster looks like he could be on the rotisserie ready to be bagged up and left in a warmer at your Coles Local for a much longer time than the health department recommends.
And as that Rooster rapidly bakes up a near lethal dose of footy salmonella, an equally pungent stench descends upon the crimson and myrtle of Redfern and our heroes tackle the biggest question in sports today-
Will Wayne cut the cheese?
Speaking of things that stink, Ashley Klown lives to leave an odour on another final, we unpack how the Raiders followed through in the last 20 minutes and the MRC, Judiciary and pretty much the whole NRL cop a well earned crop dusting of verbal, grapplised Flatulence .
Never ones to shy away from toilet humour and characterise the once proud NRL as mere Banther Fodder.
Stay calm, keep Grappling and watch out for Mynocks.
Sometimes you need to make up or invoke far fetched hollywood movie plots or fairytales to try and translate some of the NRL's decision making; and in the case of the backflip on a would be Nicho Hynes finals missing hip drop charge, look no further than the 1999 Crime Thriller 'Double Jeopardy;' with Tommy Lee Jones and Ashley Judd basically explaining why a hip drop that's already been charged cant be charged twice, or in this case wasnt actually a hip drop in the first place. Don't worry, the movie didnt make a lot of sense either.
It is finals time and our heroes reckon the Suns will scorch the fur off the Lions back at the Gabba, while the ultimate prize will be realised at the end of a Snoop Dogg inspired All-Victorian GF.
The Wallabies will be without a veteran Nudgee College old boy for the Bledisloe and we think that's a bit average. So, James O'Connor, please tell Leicester to eat a big bowl of No Flakes and suit up, after you help dismantle the Pumas again and claim an unlikely rugby championship of course. Same to you Will Skelton, at 2 metres and change tall surely you can stand up/over your bosses at La Rochelle? We're busy trying to build an army like Rassie Erasmus did with the Springboks, only our will be better,
NRL finals tips are locked in and thousands of timelines and permutations analysed. Beautiful minds come together as algorithms and calculations are written in white pen on windows overlooking the Princeton forecourt, and Ed Harris torments us with his supposedly non existent CIA agent. And like the imaginary little girl in that movie, the concept of the Panthers doing it all again NEVER GETS OLD.
Life = Grapple x 100000000 + Digging it
This week our Humble Heroes are back on deck in the bunker and spewing forth truth bombs for those whose ears are lucky enough to bath in the self-righteousness. Only the most critical of questions being asked in a forum that has zero space for whim, levity or hoopla.
Does Madge have the Broncos cherry ripe, or has he run the arse out of Ghem, Dunny Drinker and friends too early?
Will Nicho miss the first week of the finals or will the MRC show that they actually have allowed the injury severity to dictate the grading?
Will the MENSA hopeful at Fox Sports finally work out the word 'Mitigate" means and why won't Joe Scmidt listen to our positional ideas?
Dripping with faux hubris, wrapped in borderline truthful outrage and always as insightful as the bloke who controls the Sky Racing volume at the Brekky Creek front bar on a Saturday.
Just like all good art, The Grapple raises more questions than it answers.
Get on board with what's being done here... sporting salvation awaits.
A rolling Grappler gathers no moss.
Our heroes reunite for a fearless and graceful series of pirouettes through an array of Winter ending sporting shenanigans.
The NRL's penultimate round has penultimately proven that the NRL actual top 4, which is actually a top 3, is penultimately better than anything below it- especially the Raiders and Penultimate-rith. The Broncos and Cowboys submitted the final evidence required for such a conclusion in their match, that was played in the.... what's the word again for the second last of something? Anyway, it was the defence of two teams worthy of second last, and last. The fact one of them is 4th is a stirringly head scratching statistic.
Dominos are falling everywhere in the NRL, and it’s not just in the coaching ranks. Josh Hannay is a domino superglued to the Lino, and his quest a the Titans is dissected on a logistical, physical and emotional level by our two totally unbiased toward Hannay tyros.
Explosive reporting around the NRL from the News Corp extended family is both shocking and frequently chicken little'ish. Pulling up sore at training is not the equivalent of a suddenly fallen sky. But let’s print it that way anyway and keep the lot of us on our toes.
Dastardly allegations also threaten the Perth Bears pre-birth good ju ju- not necessarily their own doing. The devils are inside the walls, those walls in this case being a demountable at Gold Coast titans HQ.
Elsewhere, commentators are talking up the rise of Los Pumas, who everyone already knows have been good for years. Or doesn’t throwing 60 on the wallabies count as good anymore? Speaking of the wallabies.. anyone up for a test? They’re a bit light on numbers, as current and future coaches mull the opinions of many outside the sanctum, which are basically ‘PUT SUALI’I IN THE 15.’
Life as always remains a grapple. Dig away at will.
This week the NRLs very own Friday Night Lights.
Heidelberg United are giving the Aussie Cup an almighty fright
Tino hitting the open market to make a quid
and this week redemption is pronounced Joe Schmidt!
The team sees their linchpin goes down to short term injury and once again the next man up policy is enacted with Luttsy steeping into the fray. As is the case with the great man Olympics are on the cards in all iterations.But Rugby League is never far off, Joe Schmidt’s and Harry’s Heroics in the Highvelt, giant skaters Heidelberg United and other great sporting upsets. Get some Grapple into ya with the best hour ten on sports you’ll hear this week.
The Grapplers are BACK after a mid winter hiatus
AND bugger me drunk if a a cavalcade of narratives dont await us
THE NRL irons out its contenders with a weekend of truly chaotic stuff
The Boomers cant win the Olympics, but sure as shit cant lose the Asia Cup
SO STEP ON UP… DONT BE SHY… TIME TO GRAPPLE WITH TWO GOOOOOOOD
LOOKING GUYS
This week Our heroes wax lyrical about the beginning of something new for our smaller marsupial national team and speculate on the potential demise of the SuperCoach of our era. Speaking of marsupial converters we talk the best from Rah Rah to League along with our absolutely abysmal the Dolphins were against the roosters.
A rare Sunday Session from our openly idiot sporting gurus. Enjoy this special instalment with a like….. a share …. A subscribe or even a review.
Love is a GrappleField
Roll on, roll on, the footy is rolling into a new phase of wild interpretation
Kevs gone from the outhouse to the hopping heart of the nation
Frizelle gives Des the ultimate lack of endorsement
So constable hasler might look for a gig back where it all started… in law enforcement
This week our heroes grapple with the questions that are tugging on your shirt and curl us during those lonely week nights trying to drift off to slumber.
Questions like “ was Des really a police officer?” “ What school did the fella who photographed Jack Ruby assassinating Lee Hervey Oswald go to?” and “how many pages would constitute a 3 game coaching contract?”
Once our two warriors for justice are done mopping up the answers of those singeing queries, in their spare time no less, they will draw a line in the sand…… by trying to locate the lines already drawn in the sand by the NRL Rules Crackdown Committee (committee may or may not exist). To avoid these multiple lines the sand being washed away by the tide or turned into phallic shapes they have founded a review board. Largely (but not entirely) incorruptible, and based on honour, code and duty. The KLIEN AND MISCONDUCT COMMISSION . The KMC will review the reviews of rules reviews. Reviewing and interpreting interpretations and recommending recommendations….. all in the sport of growing the game. Grow our audience, tell your friends.
Life’s a Grapple … and then the KMC is on your case. Cue Law and Order sound effect
The Red Coates descend upon Brisbane – Independent fire at will
The Wallabies rue the loss of Robbie V
Another Red team, A finals appearance for the Dolphins could be on the Bill..
The Open Championship at Port Rush.. Aussies struggle on that Irish Tee…
Time to Grapple..and yes indeedy it is the grappliest of times. A rush of roaring red in Brisbane and a gush of it from Broncos head knocker Brendan Piakura. Swanning dolphins and swirling question marks around the defensive capabilities of its superstar self driving racecar Herbie. A verdict on the plummeting cowboys from a heavily emotionally invested Alum. And Australian crickets slaughter-yard approach to key talent development.
And grapple, we shall.
EPISODE MAROON 5: THE ORIGIN STORY OF ORIGIN STORIES
Another Origin series goes to plan
Big Pappi showed he is the man,
The Lions played the Brumbies, Canberra Stadium was full
And Christian Horner finally given the ass by Red Bull..
It’s important to be balanced and resist bias in the world of sports podcasting. So we will discuss the Lions, formula one, maybe even a bit of cricket. We might even list a few Clive Churchill medallist’s of days gone by.
We will also take this opportunity to credit the NSW Blues and their compassion for rival captain Cam Munster ahead of the Origin decider, and the class of an outfit that didn’t quite hit its potential in 2025.
Aside from that; this week is all about one thing.
QUEENSLANDER
QUEENSLANDER
QUEENSLANDER
QUEENSLANDER
QUEENSLANDER
QUEENSLANDER
QUEENSLANDER
QUEENSLANDER
QUEENSLANDER
QUEENSLANDER
QUEENSLANDER
QUEENSLANDER
That is all.
Let us grapple.
The Lions are roaring… and Owen Farrell is never boring
4 tours of duty.. and the Wallabies are in the crosshairs
The decider countdown is on.. Who's gonna be happy..
In Origin 2 the Blues were crappy.. Will they handle the comeback of big Papi.
In an age of constant media scrutiny and attention this week our heroes delve into the real reason why Super Gaffa Billy Slater did an Uncle Wayne and recalled an Origin stalwart to bolster the stocks for game 3. Is it disloyalty? Have they departed from the "pick and stick" culture that no one from north of tweed has ever expressed publicly? Or have they just picked a bloke in form in a position that is lacking? The truth is out there and our very own Mulder and Scully get to the bottom of it.
We exclusively reveal that prior to his Origin selection Gem Shibasaki was in fact only on a train and trial deal at Red Hill. His selection now giving Dave Donaghy and the Broncos accountants hives with no doubt a hefty rep footy bonus coming his way.
And on the world stage we reveal that nepotistic Flanno is vindicated by another coach biasly picking his son. British and Irish Lions coach, League Legend Any Farrell has sent an SOS to his son Owen to join the tour down under. Owen is England's highest ever point scorer, former Captain and this is his fourth Lions tour. This kind of equal alignment with the Dragons situation allows Flanno to flip us all teh bird right?......right????
Dear God if life gives you those kinds of Lemons you just gotta Grapple......
We love Selwyn, according to Madge
Yet here’s 2 signings… wearing the same badge..
A bloodbath in Barbados.. Or just a slow start..
And Wayne redefines working into the grave.. Cos hes a bit of an old fart.
The future of wayward Broncos star Selwyn Cobbo is revealed by the Grapplers, who have both joined dots and gleaned insights from the very innards of the Brisbane Broncos publicity (or lack thereof) machine. It opens a discussion on gifted players who just didnt want to do it, and sparks a few yarns of what might have been/what was and what never eventuated.
State of Origin is 2 weeks away but who gives a sh*t, speculation over who will fill the Maroon middle is rife, almost as rife as a startling comparison of the Cowboys and Titans sides.. And the question of ‘who would you pick?’
Our heroes run the rule over coaches on the chopping block, PNG’s future and the future of a 75 year old supercoach who’s only just getting started might just involve the opening of an NRL sponsored casino.
The Lions are here, and the mail is they’re pretty full of themselves, but dont you need to be?
For the record- Mary Fowler is NOT going to ditch the WSL to play in PNG.
Life remains a grapple. Dig it.
The Maroons live to fight another day
Cant wait to hear what Woodsy has to say
Fort the rest of the Rugby League media, Crow is on the menu
And where the hell was Spencer Leniu?
Plenty to Grapple with as our heroes digest a significant Queenslands bounceback on a sodden and miserable Optus Stadium, honouring the ‘born for it’ nature of freshly minted skipper Cameron Munster. The West ignites in a near sell out, perhaps providing an easily spinnable statistic pertaining to its people being far more than fair weather footy fans.
On the field, a far more palatable performance is unpacked, the stars celebrated, the villains reprimanded. In the coaches box are the personal sleights that defined the buildup, and the broader media role in perpetuating stories that inspire players to put themselves on media bans. These are also unpacked, alongside the one stat every journo in the country will lean on throughout the buildup.
Because QLD have never won a series after losing game 1 at Lang Park. Just wait for it.
And from one showpiece to the next.. the British and Irish Lions will roll out a semblance of a squad for its first few hitouts ahead of the Wallabies tour.
Meantime the LA Lakers are up for sale if you have a spare $10 billion USD to throw about, not bad for a club Gerry Buss spent less than $80 mil on back in the late 70’s.
10 billion good reasons to like, share and subscribe to this completely biased and utterly unbalanced piece of auditory media.
Life’s a maroon tinged grapple. Dig that shit.
Billy names anew skipper and he’s on the Munny
The blowback on DCE hasn’t been real funny
Wayne hoses down rumours of Cobbo becoming a bunny…
Socceroos go straight through on a Metcalf strike… sweet like honey
This week our heroes tackle the topics of Origin selections, Aaron Woods words and the second coming Lachie Galvin. Forwards passes and all. Players meeting coaches and coaches denying meeting players. Have we heard this before? The Grapple Wouk like to confirm that Joel has never met Johnny, ever….. even there was a fire.Get busy Grappling or get busy dying.
It’s the sound of footy right now.. and its nothing new
Gus plays us all… we collectively stew
The prospects of the maroons… look decidedly blue
So lets distract ourselves with lachlan Kennedys very fucking fast SHOES
TIME TO GRAPPLE.
The optics of the NRL’s relationship with key broadcasters and club hierarchies is more blurred than ever. Not even Fred Hollows could fix this one. Enter our heroes, with a concoction of call outs and constructive pieces of feedback for the game to contemplate/implement at its nearest convenience.
Footy players telling journos and punters they wouldn’t know things because they were never on the footy field is nothing new, but Reece Walsh took it to frightening new heights this week with his dissing of a journo for pointing out a fact with absolutely nothing to do with playing football. Tha deserves a grapple too.
Highly paid reserve graders, completely reasonable super rugby finals prospects and Australia’s fastest man with media variations on pronouncing his name.
If it’s to be grappled with, the grappling shall occur.
The Autopsy of the Queensland Corpse will be conducted by Johnny and special guest host Shane Muspratt
It's the day after the night before. Our heroes, fresh from an evening that began with confident anticipation and ended with deep, dark depression, have the unenviable task of picking over the bones of another lost Origin.Searching for answers, pouring over replacements, speculating on futures ........but what will they uncover?
Perhaps a fiendish plot, an inside job. The long game has been played by an infiltrator who has sabotaged Queensland's junior rep infrastructure.
What once was a robust breeding ground of toughness and talent and is now a participation ribbon.
This began 10 years or more ago and is only bearing fruit for the insidious infiltrator who dispensed with junior reps, and now our depth is being genuinely challenged for the first time in history ( except for 1995...hey, what happened that year again?) Has Chez played his last game in Maroon?
Is tough Tom ready for the task?
Can Munster reclaim some magic?
Is Cobbo cancelled?
Are we looking at another masacre on the western front?
all questions asked with very little in the way of actionable answers.
It's an all North Queensland Hosting panel this week.... and zero bias evident.
On days life this Life is definitely a Grapple... you just gotta dig it
As one of our heroes takes a sabbatical his seat is filled by a special Guest Host.
Regaling tales of Paris, Osaka, Suncorp Stadium and nights on the jars with Alf, Luttsy places his feet in the sizable shoes left by Joely.
The Origin teams have the rule run over them and surprisingly the consensus of all in the room is QLD victory.
Media training for the wayward Broncos shapes as a secondary source of income for our Grapplers with advice on life flowing freely.
The PNG experiment is Grappled with and as is customary a physics discussion on the time it takes to move through the earth from any two points on the surface.
In lieu of Neil deGrasse-Tyson you'll just have to take out word on the outcome.
All this and much much more buffoonery.
When life gives you lemons, you have our permission to Grapple.
An overcast Queensland Autumn Tuesday evening , on the roof of a Leagues on Fulcher Road Red Hill, a solitary man cuts a forlorn figure as pulls the cover off a large spot light pointed into the Brisbane sky and grits his teeth as he flips the switch….. he sighs as sparks shoot from the steampunk switch….. a moment of silence and anticipation…almost gives way to concern that the spot light has failed…… after all its been nine months… then with a wurr and a shudder the brilliant beam sets the South East sky alight….. a silhouette that excites every Broncos fan and tells every other fan…we really don’t give a shit… The Ezra Sign… and just like his Gotham City counterpart…. Ezra will answer the call.
And the heroes will Grapple with it….
It is a time of great upheaval.
The NRL.. obsessed with its quest to flood players' veins with hyperdrive fuel and create the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy, have created a paradox of umbilical proportions. Referees are afraid not to blow the whistle, while also being terrified of its piercing shrill.
The Get Square narrative around football means penalties not blown in one game are now blown in another. One might describe the approach as utterly Sith-house.
Meantime.. rumours abound concerning a rebel faction dropped by their clubs and plying their craft in state league. The Imperial senate will move to quash any chance of them speaking out about their fortunes, while also unearthing a good news angle around the disturbance in the force that is Ezra Mam returning.
In the Outer rim of non-rugby league content: Oscar Piastri has completed the Kessel Run in 4 parsecs, collecting a chequered flag at each checkpoint. Comparisons are being made on his stature in the all time stakes.
Amid it all.. an echo in the force. An awakening. And two idiot padawans are dispatched by the Jedi Council to investigate.. or be investigated. We’re not quite sure.
As player safety continues to be the number one issue in Rugby League today our heroes are buoyed with confidence knowing the NRL will not.... ever.... compromise...... if there's a fire.
Our heroes provide the CSA that there has been no crackdown, none...Crackdown here, no...
The 18 sin bins last week was the eventuality of an anomaly, which despite our sincerest efforts we have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision.
Matrix Revolutions quotes aside, the Grapplers tackle the assertions of the NRL's top dog and turn from admiration to criticism the deeper they delve and separate themselves from comparisons with David Gallop.
The player safety focus is challenged by the numbers in the NRL casualty ward and the Rabbitohs being with a 3rd of their top squad riding the pine.
Far too much Broncos analysis for one, is never enough for another, as these men offer solutions for Madge's glaring absence of hookers in his squad.
Rugby Australia's deal with their new coach is sealed with a Kiss, Joe Schmidt gives the resurgent men in Gold the Long Kiss Goodnight, and the Reds are Kissed on the proverbial to hold on to their coach for another year.
Tom Lynagh has not been given the Kiss of Death despite what some outlets are reporting, he's just being rested, and Harry McLaughlin-Phillips is next on Kiss List.
With every Kiss pun exhausted our hero's gaze turns to the Subcontinent and the actions of a young man aged between 14 and 34 who became the youngest kid in the IPL to knock a ton and in 35 balls thank you very much.
Amazing considering how small the Indian junior base is.
NBA, a quick lesson on vice work and a couple of charming dudes who simply want to Grapple.
Like it, subscribe to it, share it, dig it.
