The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 136 - Choosing Love Over Certainty with Meagan Skidmore

1 week ago

42 minutes 43 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

Our good girl programming is built on the certainty that if we follow the rules and keep everyone happy, we’ll belong. But what happens when stepping into deeper love and connection also means stepping into the uncertainty that comes with unraveling that conditioning? In this episode, I talk with Meagan Skidmore, Life Transformation Coach and author of TransparentSEE: How I Learned to SEE through My Journey as a Parent of a Transgender Kiddo. We explore what it means to trust your inner knowing, even when it leads you down an unfamiliar path, and how doing so can radically transform your relationships with others and with yourself. Here’s what we cover:

How growing up in the LDS faith shaped Meagan’s sense of belonging
The pain of feeling forced to choose between two things that are meaningful to you
Why slowing can provide you with the patience and openness needed to make space for uncertainty
The importance of creating safe spaces where you can explore and questions
Why the loss of certainty can be a doorway to a new version of yourself, your family, and your faith

Meagan Skidmore is a Life Transformation Coach who empowers her clients to navigate life transitions and step into their fullest potential. Life transitions have a way of presenting the opportunity to reset our identity, reassess our values, and process emotions—becoming the witnessing observer of our experiences instead of letting them define us.

Meagan helps people awaken to their truth, crush the boxes that confine them, and step boldly into their power, stop lying to themselves and live authentically and unapologetically. With a holistic approach, Meagan guides clients to use emotional alchemy to help them connect with their bodies and hear their Inner Wisdom. This creates space to truly embody their core values and live in alignment. Whether you’re facing change or seeking alignment, Meagan offers the support and tools you need to turn what seems a life crisis into a beautiful metamorphosis.

Find Meagan here:

https://meaganskidmorecoaching.com

https://www.instagram.com/meaganskidmorecoaching

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100064267982984

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-inner-catalyst/id1843004454

https://www.youtube.com/@meaganskidmorecoachingllc8331/featured

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 135 - Staying in Relationships Even with Differences

2 weeks ago

33 minutes 24 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

Sometimes it's hard to imagine how we can stay in relationships where there are huge differences–political, religious, or otherwise. In this conversation with my friend Katherine Golub on her podcast Conflict Decoded, I talk about how I’ve worked with the part of myself that just wants to stay safe–to only talk to people who agree with me and see information that confirms my beliefs–to stay in relationships that matter, even when we don’t share the same views. Here’s what I cover:

How people-pleasing kept me at the church even after my mind and heart had left the building
The moment I realized, “I think we’re wrong about this,” and how terrifying it was to hold that belief
How I used scripture to back up my personal beliefs and was punished for it within the church
The complexity of discerning who to maintain relationships with despite your differences
Why safety must come first when moving toward relationships with people that you disagree with

Find Katherine here:

https://callingsandcourage.com/

https://callingsandcourage.com/podcasts/

https://www.instagram.com/katherinegolub/

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 134 - Keep Going but Be Gentle

3 weeks ago

53 minutes 15 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

Even with the powerful growth that can happen in coaching, the pressure cooker we’re all living in—the broken systems, the financial stress, the world that feels terrifying—can make everything feel harder, and much of it is beyond our control. But it doesn’t feel hard because you’re weak; it feels hard because it is hard. In this episode, I talk about how remarkable it is that we keep going—keep showing up for ourselves and others—despite it all, and how to be gentler with ourselves in the process. Here’s what I cover:

A powerful coaching conversation about self-doubt and resilience
What it looks like to let more than one thing be true at once
Why “every little bit counts” when everything feels impossible
How to know when your body is asking for rest instead of pushing harder
The power of staying connected to yourself when you can’t fix everything in the world

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 133 - What Avoiding Conflict Really Costs You

1 month ago

20 minutes 31 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

Conflict is one of the most paradoxical things I’ve encountered—in my own life and in the lives of my clients. For those of us who have been shaped by good girl conditioning, conflict most often feels like danger and disconnection. But when it happens within a container of safety and self-connection, it becomes a doorway to vulnerability, intimacy, and power. In this episode, I explore why we avoid conflict and share personal stories that demonstrate the freedom you can find when you say what needs to be said. Here’s what I cover:

How the emotional burden of unspoken words lives in the body
How cultural and gender conditioning teach people socialized as women to stay silent
Two real-life examples of how I apply what I teach about conflict and communication
Why self-love and compassion are essential for knowing when and how to speak up
How practicing the skills to have hard conversations leads to freedom and connection

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 132 - How Over-Apologizing Hurts You and How to Stop

1 month ago

29 minutes 50 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

Because every one of us has been raised with the good girl rules—to be nice, agreeable, and never rock the boat—almost every woman I work with has the habit of over-apologizing. You’re capable, you’re accomplished, and you work hard, yet “sorry” slips out at the beginning of every sentence. In this episode, we explore how over-apologizing hurts you and how to practice a different way of showing up. Here’s what I cover:

How over-apologizing lowers your authority in other people's eyes and trains your own brain to see yourself as less valuable
Why it’s important to consider what you’re trying to accomplish with your apology
Why pausing before you speak is the foundation for breaking your over-apologizing habit
The power you’ll reclaim when you replace “I’m sorry” with “thank you”
Why increasing your capacity for discomfort is key to stopping over-apologizing
A practical homework assignment to complete your own apology audit

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 131 - End Emotional Outsourcing with Béa Albina

1 month ago

32 minutes 49 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

When you stop outsourcing your safety, belonging, and worth, you discover the freedom of authenticity–of knowing who you are and what you want. In this episode, I speak with Béa Albina about her new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. You’ll hear how this book not only outlines a clear path to end this painful way of living, but reframes emotional outsourcing in powerful new ways. Here’s what we cover:

The definition of emotional outsourcing and how it shows up in our relationships, careers, and decision-making
Why emotional outsourcing is a brilliant survival strategy, not a personality flaw
The truth about authenticity and why it’s often the cost of people-pleasing and perfectionism
How emotional outsourcing lives in the nervous system and why healing has to include the body
Béa’s five-part process for rebuilding self-trust through small, “kitten-sized” steps

Beatriz (Béa) Victoria Albina, NP, MPH, SEP (she/her) is a UCSF-trained Family Nurse Practitioner, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Master Certified Somatic Life Coach, author of the forthcoming "End Emotional Outsourcing: a Guide to Overcoming Codependent, Perfectionist and People Pleasing Habits" ( Sept 30, Hachette Balance) and Breathwork Meditation Guide with a passion for helping humans socialized as women to reconnect with their bodies, regulate their nervous systems and rewire their minds, so they can break free from codependency, perfectionism and people pleasing and reclaim their joy.

Find Béa here:

https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/

https://www.facebook.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp

https://beatrizalbina.com/podcast/

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 130 - Being Seen in the Relationships that Matter Most

1 month ago

46 minutes 19 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

Do you edit parts of yourself out of relationships because you're afraid of how people will react? Do you self-silence when you know what you have to say might not be pleasing to others? There is real discomfort in showing up authentically because it means risking rejection from the people we’re closest to. But the alternative comes with its own pain: the sadness and loneliness of not being seen for who we truly are. Neither type of discomfort is easy to face, but in this episode, I share how you can choose between them and take small, brave steps toward relationships where you can be fully seen. Here’s what I cover:

The two types of discomfort that people pleasing creates in relationships
Why it’s easy to choose authenticity in some relationships but not others—and why that difficulty is completely normal
A personal story about a friendship where I felt the pull between hiding and being seen
Why loving the parts of yourself that used to hide is essential for change
Questions to help you identify where you can choose authenticity in your relationships

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 129 - How to Break the Habit of Auto Accommodating

2 months ago

35 minutes 57 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

When you’re asked to take on extra work, stay late at the office, or do a favor for a friend or family member, do you ever say “yes” automatically, without thinking about what it will actually cost you? This habit is known as auto-accommodating, and it’s so common among people pleasers that I've decided to dedicate an episode to it. In this episode, we explore the programming behind auto-accommodating and how to practice pausing before you respond so your answer is actually aligned with your needs and desires. Here’s what I cover:

How we are programmed to conflate accommodation with reward, safety, and connection
3 questions to help you understand the part of yourself that habitually auto-accommodates
How toxic capitalism reinforces the idea that our worth comes from serving others at our own expense
Why going back and revising an automatic “yes” will help you build your pause muscle
How to avoid self-judgment around your fear of saying “no”
A phrase to use when you want to contribute without auto-accommodating

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 128 - How to Get Out of the Self-Doubt Spiral

2 months ago

36 minutes

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

Have you ever caught yourself in a self-doubt spiral, wondering if you’re overreacting, if you’re missing something, or if everyone else just knows better than you? The experience of self-doubt is so familiar for women, especially because of the patriarchal system we live in. But you deserve to feel confident in your emotions and your assessments. In this episode, I dive into why it feels so automatic to doubt ourselves and how you can begin to change that inner monologue. Here’s what I cover:

What internal self-doubt actually sounds like
Examples of behaviors that stem from self-doubt
How Dr. Becky Kennedy explains the development of self-doubt in children
How patriarchy gives boys and girls very different messages about the validity of their self-doubt
The two voices inside us as women—the voice of care and the voice of self–and how to balance them
An exercise to help you work with both voices so you can feel more confident

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 127 - Radical Discernment: Balancing Self-Care and Collective Care with Katherine Golub

2 months ago

34 minutes 22 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

I’m so excited to welcome Katherine Golub to the podcast today. Katherine and I have so much in common–not only our journeys of breaking free from good girl rules, but also our commitment to community organizing and social change. She is a coach for leaders and activists who want to continue showing up for their communities without burning out. In this conversation, we explore the polarity between personal and collective needs, and how radical discernment can help you step into the life you want. Here’s what we cover:

Why we have to choose to take care of our needs before we can do so
The definition of radical discernment and how it helps balance personal and collective care
What resonance actually looks like and how it can help when you're overwhelmed
The importance of only focusing on the next right thing
How curiosity can help when it’s difficult to imagine what you want

Find Katherine here:

https://callingsandcourage.com/

https://callingsandcourage.com/podcasts/

https://www.instagram.com/katherinegolub/

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 126 - The Body Knows: Faith, The Wisdom of Desire, and Telling the Truth with Michaelann Gardner

2 months ago

49 minutes 21 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

In this conversation, I’m joined by the author of Sovereign, hypnotist, and fellow ex-Mormon, Michaelann Gardner. Sovereign explores chronic pain, marriage, and faith in a way that connects to the experiences and stories of so many women—even those who don’t share the same religious background. It’s about sex, disordered eating, and divorce, but it’s also about finding your desire and allowing it to guide you into a promised land that may look different from what you imagined. Here’s what we cover:

How the story of Adam and Eve became a framework to explore ideas about faith, bodies, and reconciliation
How the wisdom of desire can act as a powerful guide if we trust it to lead us
The reawakening of hunger and desire as a catalyst for telling the truth to ourselves and others
How cultural conditioning impacts the way both men and women show up in marriage and sex
The disconnect between the church’s view of sex as “sacred” and the lived experience of sex
How the pain of disconnection and dishonesty manifests in the bodies

Find Michaelann here:

https://michaelanngardner.com/

https://www.instagram.com/michaelann.gardner

https://www.amazon.com/Sovereign-Michaelann-Gardner/dp/1961471175

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 125 - What I'm Learning About Joy, Rest, and Pleasure

3 months ago

1 hour 27 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

In the self-help space, it’s easy to assume someone else has it all together. The truth is, nobody does. While I have some answers—and I certainly can provide help to stop people-pleasing—I’m still learning, too. Today, I’m sharing recent changes and insights from my own life to offer an honest look at the messy, yet beautiful, journey of healing—and to remind you that joy, grief, and desire can all coexist. Here’s what I cover:

How religious scriptures shaped my beliefs about worthiness–and how I’ve grown into a deeper sense of connection
Why rest, joy, pleasure, and loving your f*cking life are powerful acts of resistance
Why I stepped away from social media and how it has allowed me to show up more fully in my life
How retreating to my love of fiction provided me with a soul-deep relief
How I have become more fully present in my body and my power through pleasure
How I learned that “Am I enough?” was never the right question to ask

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 124 - How Did I Get Stuck and How Do I Get Unstuck?

3 months ago

25 minutes 53 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

I hear people use the word “stuck” all the time to describe problems or situations, but what does it really mean? You might feel stuck in a relationship you want to change but don’t know how, or caught in a pattern you keep repeating even when it no longer feels good. I’ve been reflecting on what it really means to be stuck—not just to understand it better, but to find language and tools that actually help. In this episode, I’m sharing what I’ve discovered to offer you deeper context around the feeling of being stuck and what you can do about it. Here’s what I cover:

Why feeling stuck in people-pleasing isn’t your fault
How feeling stuck in one area can have a big impact on your life overall
The insight from Esther Perel that shaped my thinking on this topic
Why stuck systems have all stability and no change and what we need instead
The key to change: teaching your parts that it’s safe to feel a little unsafe
How to begin experimenting with authenticity in small, safe ways

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 123 - Living with ADHD and Letting Go of Good Girl Rules with Kristen Carder

3 months ago

25 minutes 34 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

Living with ADHD means it doesn’t disappear once you find success–you can be kind, loving, respectful and still show up with your ADHD when you connect with yourself and take accountability. Today, I’m bringing you a conversation from the I Have ADHD podcast, where I was interviewed by Kristen Carder. We talk about my journey of being diagnosed with ADHD in midlife, the relationship between neurodivergence and people-pleasing, and how I became an ex-good girl. Here’s what we cover:

How “ADHD brain” can impact your life even when you have good intentions
How my ADHD diagnosis later in life brought both clarity and grief
My approach to seeking help managing perimenopause
Why self-abandonment is at the heart of people-pleasing
What it truly means to be an ex-good girl and how to reclaim your voice

Find Kristen here:

https://ihaveadhd.com/

https://ihaveadhd.com/podcast/

https://www.instagram.com/i.have.adhd.podcast/

https://www.facebook.com/ihaveadhdpodcast

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 122 - Signs You're Ready For a Bigger Life!

3 months ago

1 hour 1 minute 33 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

As women, we receive so much messaging about how big our lives are allowed to be. Whether it’s patriarchy, childhood conditioning, or the communities we’re part of, many women learn that being convenient, optimistic, and helpful makes them lovable. Even though it isn’t true, that influence often keeps us from living our lives in a bigger way. In this episode, we explore the signs that your life is too small for you and how you can start to live a life that’s as honest and expressive as you want. Here's what I cover:

How to recognize when your life has become too small by how your body feels
The most common signs that you're ready to take your life to the next level
Why your dreams feeling impossible or selfish is a signal that you’re ready for change
How resentment and irritation can show up under the surface when you feel stuck in a small life
How emotional suppression can lead to real issues that affect women’s health
An example of how my life changed when I learned how to say what needed to be said

Sign up for the FREE WORKSHOP on July 22nd: https://pages.sarafisk.coach/say-it-jul-2025

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 121 - Part 2: Are People Pleasers Liars? (And Why That's Not The Real Problem)

4 months ago

27 minutes 16 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

Last week, I shared an interactive episode about people-pleasing and lying—today, we’re continuing the conversation. In this episode, I offer an approach that is based not on the morality of telling the truth, but on your values and human need for safety. We’ll take a deeper look at why we lie, the hidden costs it can have in our relationships, and how you can be more truthful in safe, selective places to foster connection to yourself and others. Here’s what I cover:

How good-girl programming wires us to lie in order to please and avoid conflict
The huge role that the nervous system plays in why we lie
When lying can still be a necessary and useful tool
How we separate children from the truth of their bodies and punish them for honesty
Why protecting yourself is not the same as deceiving someone else
How to build more honesty in your life one relationship at a time

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 120 - INTERACTIVE EPISODE: Are People Pleasers Liars?

4 months ago

27 minutes 13 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

Lying is such an interesting topic—and after working with many women who feel stuck in patterns of people-pleasing, I’ve learned that lying and truth-telling are far more complex than they may seem. I’m not talking about lies meant to cause harm, but the everyday ones we tell to keep ourselves safe and comfortable: saying we’re fine when we’re not, or yes when we mean no. In this interactive episode, I’m introducing the framework I’ll be using to explore this topic and offering reflections to help you understand your patterns around people-pleasing and lying. Here’s what I cover:

Why lying is not a character flaw of people-pleasers, but a survival strategy
How childhood experiences influence our beliefs and behaviors around truth
How lying creates a disconnect in our relationships—with ourselves and others
Why telling the truth requires internal safety and nervous system regulation
Reflection questions to help you notice why you may choose to lie in certain situations

Sign up for the free workshop on July 10th

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 119 - Patriarchy 101: How It Was Created and What To Do About It Now

4 months ago

12 minutes 41 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

Patriarchy is a system that has shaped our world for thousands of years, which can make unpacking the topic feel overwhelming. Today, I offer a basic overview of patriarchy with specific examples that show how we got here and how it continues to influence us today. Awareness is the key to greater power and greater choice in your life. I hope that this episode provides you with insights and practical ways to claim both. Here’s what I cover:

The complexities of patriarchy beyond the idea that “men are in charge”
How patriarchy was developed as a social technology in response to historical issues
Laws and political systems that were created to entrench patriarchy in society
How to recognize patriarchy in action in today’s society
The ways patriarchy is internalized by people of all genders
How humans created this system, so we can also choose to evolve beyond it

I can’t wait for you to listen!

Book Recommendations for Further Reading:

The Creation of Patriarchy by Gerda Lerner - A comprehensive historical analysis of how patriarchal systems developed and became institutionalized
Untamed by Glennon Doyle - A powerful exploration of unlearning patriarchal conditioning and discovering your authentic self
The Authority Gap by Mary Ann Sieghart - Examines how women are systematically undermined and taken less seriously than men across all areas of life
bell hooks: All About Love by bell hooks - Explores how patriarchal systems damage our capacity for love and authentic connection

Research and Studies Referenced:

Archaeological evidence on egalitarian pre-agricultural societies:

“The Gender Equality Paradox” - https://www.pnas.org/content/early/2018/04/16/1717312115
National Academy of Sciences research on prehistoric gender roles - https://www.nationalacademies.org/based-on-science/prehistoric-gender-roles
How Did Patriarchy Actually Begin?

Medical research gender bias:

“Gender bias in pain assessment and treatment recommendations” - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11441203/
Journal of Law, Medicine & Ethics study on pain treatment disparities - https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1111/jlme.12040

The mental load research:

Arlie Hochschild’s “The Second Shift” research - https://sociology.berkeley.edu/sites/default/files/faculty/hochschild/pdf/SecondShift.pdf
Emotional labor studies - https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0003122412472680

Confidence gap research:

Kay & Shipman Harvard Business Review article - https://hbr.org/2014/08/why-women-dont-apply-for-jobs-unless-theyre-100-qualified
The Atlantic confidence gap study - https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/05/the-confidence-gap/359090/

Language and gender studies:

Linguistic Society of America research - https://www.linguisticsociety.org/resource/language-and-gender
Gender bias in language patterns study - https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2019-17914-001
The Languages with Built-in Sexism

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Episode 118 - ADHD, Perimenopause, and the Good Girl Trap with Jenny Hobbs

4 months ago

34 minutes 34 seconds

The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

Parenting and relationships can take on a unique dynamic when neurodivergence is part of your life—whether it's your own diagnosis or that of your partner or kids. Today, you’ll hear my conversation with Jenny Hobbs, a physician and a life coach who works with women navigating ADHD and autism in themselves or their families. We explore what ADHD looks like for women, why it often goes undiagnosed until adulthood, and the range of resources available to help. Here’s what we cover:

Why there tends to be an overlap between ADHD and autism diagnoses
How good girl programming affects the way neurodivergence shows up in women
Masking techniques make ADHD in women harder to recognize
Specific signs and patterns that may indicate ADHD
The link between ADHD diagnoses and perimenopause
Practical strategies for managing ADHD regardless of your financial situation

I can’t wait for you to listen.

Mentioned resources:

https://getcoached.jennyhobbsmd.com/adhdtoolkit

https://www.meganannaneff.com/

https://libbyapp.com/

Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Russell Barkley

Dr. Jenny Hobbs is a life coach and practicing physician who specializes in supporting working moms in neurodivergent families. Diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and raising an autistic/ADHD family of her own, she brings both personal insight and professional expertise to her work. Dr. Hobbs helps overwhelmed, burned-out moms navigate the unique challenges of parenting and marriage in neurodivergent households—so they can stop feeling like they're failing and start enjoying their family again.

Find Jenny here:

www.jennyhobbsmd.com

https://www.instagram.com/jennyhobbsmd/

https://www.facebook.com/jennyhobbsmd

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!