So many of us grew up in families where our emotional expression was stifled or invalidated, and those formative experiences often play themselves out in our adult relationships and the ways we navigate (or avoid) conflict. Most couples will have the same fight over and over again, whether it’s the dishes in the sink, stress about finances, sex, or lack of time together. But what if those recurring conflicts aren’t about what we say they are, but instead the need for something deeper? What if they’re actually invitations to heal old wounds and deepen our intimate connection? Join me in this episode as I unpack why conflict is not only healthy, but necessary in relationships, and how our nervous systems interpret disagreements as threats based on childhood conditioning. I share a simple but transformative practice of active listening that will allow you to get underneath the surface of any argument you may be having, and help you to uncover what’s really going on. Practicing this skill will help you to connect with your partner in ways that feel profoundly healing for both of you. You’ll learn: Why we repeat the same arguments in relationships How childhood experiences shape the way we handle conflict A step-by-step tool for listening that shifts fights into connection The powerful phrase that can dissolve defensiveness and open intimacy If you’ve ever felt stuck having the same fights with your partner, this episode will give you a roadmap to move from frustration into deeper connection, intimacy, and genuine understanding.       ===LINKS: ===•Website: www.vilates.com •Rebirth 1:1 coaching: https://www.vilates.com/the-rebirth-intimate-coaching •Anatomy of Pleasure Masterclass Waitlist:  https://www.vilates.com/priority-waitlist2025 •FREE Breast Massage Meditation: www.vilates.com/free-breast-massage-meditation •Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vilates_/ •Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3fs2KlkHNzICKAg2crZSMB •Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ecology-of-intimacy-podcast/id1772602980 ===......Disclaimer This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, medical practitioner, professional coach, psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. We shall in no event be held liable to any party for any reason arising directly or indirectly for the use or interpretation of the information presented in this podcast. Copyright 2025 © Vilates, Pty. Ltd - All rights reserved.