Having gone through an acrimonious divorce in 2013 Nav Mirza was faced with something he wasn’t prepared for; legally losing access to his beloved son. Concerned for his welfare after a series of incidents he raised the alarm with the authorities but wasn’t taken seriously. The experience drove him right to the edge on more than one occasion as he felt hopeless in the face of powerful institutions that perceived him as just another disgruntled trouble making father. Eventually after many years of fighting the system and on the point of mental colapse he was completely vindicated and was given sole custody of his beloved son. An astonishing turn of events. But this story isn’t just about ones mans fight for justice; you see Nav was now a full time single father, unable to find work and totally socially isolated. Once again he was facing challenges he simply wasn’t equipped to deal with. In his desperation to be heard he posted his story online and then something amazing happened; many many other fathers around the UK started to get in touch to share their own experiences of dealing with a system that seemed to be stacked against them. So Nav decided to do what most of us wouldn’t: to found a charity that aims to help fathers maintain healthy relationships with their children. So in 2017 ‘Dads Unlimited’ was born and has gone from strength to strength to help hundreds of people since. In this episode you’ll hear about Nav Mirza’s incredible personal story in detail, what Dads Unlimited’s mission is (and how it differs from Fathers 4 Justice) and exactly what you can do to get involved. A classic episode! Enjoy :) ========================== If you’d like to contact Dads Unlimited: Helpline 01233 680150 (UK number) Or self register here: https://support.dadsunltd.org.uk/portal/en-gb/newticket If you have any feedback for this podcast or would like to be considered as a guest pls contact Imran Azam: DivorcedMuslimDad@gmail.com or DM @moiazam on Insta.

Salams and Ramadan mubarak! The conversation you’re about to listen to is with Naushad Qayyum; a highly qualified experienced teacher and international educator turned advocate and campaigner for men’s mental health amongst south asain men. Naushads story is incredible to listen to and covers many themes related to faith and relationships. You see Naushad’s world was turned upside one fateful day in 2018 when his father unexpectedly passed away. Losing a parent is difficult to reconcile at the best of times but for Naushad it was almost impossible to fathom; you see it happened on his wedding day. This personal tragedy set off a chain of events that led him to some very dark places. But as you’ll hear ultimately his story is one of hope and resilience. About turning pain into purpose. I think it a appropriate to offer a trigger warning on the episode as we speak intimately about death, anxiety, depression, PTSD, cultural exploitation, isolation, loneliness and suicide. So if you’re not in a great place right now you might want to listen to this another time. As always please send any constructive feedback to divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com or DM me on twitter/insta @moiazam. Preparing for Ramadan 2023 with Dr Omar Sulaiman: https://overcast.fm/+J18FkOPew

It’s clear now that our experiences in childhood shape our beliefs that in turn determine the decisions we make about how we live our lives. But what if you don’t like the script you’ve been given? Is it possible to change it and lead a more intentional life and one that’s aligned with the person you want to be? Well to find out the answers to these questions and more I’ve been speaking with Will Daniel-Braham; a therapist, coach and trainer in the field of personal and organisational development. Will has a private therapy practice in London and an international coaching practice. In this episode Will and I discuss: - the impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences on our lives - how the ‘script’ of our lives is written before the age of 7 - how to go about changing the script - inter-generational trauma and how it manifests - how to pick a therapist - whether or not we all have reflective capacity It’s a great conversation with lots of helpful information from a professional in the field so please do consider sharing it with friends/family. As always please do contact me here is you have any comments or suggestions: Email: divorcedmulsimdad@gmail.com Twitter/Insta: @moiazam

In this episode Alyas Karmani (activist, therapist, counsellor, imam) and I have a meandering conversation about subject of Resilience. Essentially our ability to bounce back from adversity. As usual our discussion take us to unexpected places and we revisit historical events such as apartheid in South Africa, the civil war in Sierra Leone as well as the Crusades, the Battle of Uhud and the Conquest of Mecca. You might not get all of the answers you are looking for here but thats not the point; you definitely walk away with better understanding of what resilience is, why we need it, how it impacts on our relationships and how Allah helps us to develop it. Some of the questions we explore include: Why are some people and nations more resilient than others? What is an abundance mindset and how can it help develop resilience? What can we learn about resilience from a street vendor in Uganda or a Kurdish refugee in the UK? What can we learn about resilience from Rocky 3? What is needed to foster an environment of building resilience? Why wasn’t I able to act on the advice Alyas offered me during my marriage? Why is Muslim marital breakdown often so acrimonious? What does Islam say about dealing with adversity? And what could this say about our community’s potential capacity for resilience? Is it sometimes necessary to go through difficulties to see the truth? Is it Allahs way of helping us become our best selves? Is adversity in fact an opportunity? How responsible are we for overcoming adversity? Is it fair to make individuals completely responsible for their lives? If you want to better understand how to handle life’s challenges from a psychological and emotional perspective then this ones for you. Please get in touch with any comments/feedback/suggestions or if you simply have a story you’d like to share: E: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com Tw/In: @moiazam All messages are handled with care :)

Following on from publishing the ‘Addiction:Just Say No’ episode I set off to take a break on an organic dairy farm in Amsterdam. Whilst sat in the idyllic dutch countryside I was finishing off Dr Gabor Mate’s book ‘In the realm of hungry ghosts: close encounters with addiction’ when I came across a section that forced me to recognise my own addictive behavioural traits and how they negatively impact the relationships in my life. In this short bonus episode I read an extract from the book describing Dr Gabor’s own addictive tendencies, how they manifest, the destructive impact they’ve had on his relationships and crucially how to find peace. If you’re interested in developing better relationships then this ones for you. (First listen to the episode before though :) Please get in touch with any comments/feedback/suggestions or if you simply have a story you’d like to share: E: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com Tw/In: @moiazam All messages are handled with care :)

In this episode Alyas Karmani (Imam, Therapist, Activist) and I discuss the oft misunderstood psychological phenomenon of addiction. Many of us are unaware of what addiction actually is, why it happens and how its impacting our communities. Worryingly society’s attitude to addiction is leading to already traumatised vulnerable people being ostracised, neglected and plunged further into despair. In our conversation we cover a host of issues starting with what addiction is, how and why it manifests, who’s susceptible to it, whether or not addicts are responsible for their behaviour, how addiction presents in the Mulsim community, its long term implications and what the solution might be. If you’ve ever found yourself mindlessly scrolling through your social media feeds this ones for you. (So thats everyone then :) Please get in touch with any comments/feedback/suggestions or if you simply have a story you’d like to share: E: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com Tw/In: @moiazam All messages are handled with care :)

Really excited to share this episode with you! I got to speak with Tafazal Mohammed who is an award winning professional relationship coach based in the UK. Normally my guests offer either a personal story or professional advice but here we get both. Listen to Tafazal’s incredible personal story and the events that led him to get married (for a third time) to someone totally out his context but very much in tune with his soul. You’ll here about the unconventional way he found his wife and coaching service they both decided to set up after a cup of tea on the hilltops of Andalusia. So much to learn here so if you’re struggling to find someone or stuck in a relationship rut this ones for you! Please get in touch with comments/feedback/suggestions and better still if you want you have a story you want to share: E: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com Tw/In: @moiazam

On a road trip to Edinburgh part-time Imam and relationship councillor Alyas Karmani and I decided to discuss the potential impact of the ‘Roe vs Wade’ abortion ruling in the USA on Muslim communities living in the west and address the one question everyone seems to be asking ‘What does Islam have to say about abortion?’ Apparently, quite a lot! Comments/feedback/suggestions Email: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com Tw/Insta: @moiazam

Alyas is back in the hot seat and this time he’s got a bee in his bonnet about…the Manosphere! Never heard of it? Well in short it represents an online global movement of disenfranchised men who wish to reassert there masculine identity through misogynistic rhetoric, extreme ideology and violence. Alerted by a distraught Muslim mother who felt her son was being groomed online to hate women Alyas undertook an 18 month deep dive in to the dark heart of the Manosphere. And what he found left him shaken to his very core... Pls contact us here with your comments and suggestions: Email: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com Tw/Insta: @moiazam Manosphere definition (Wikipedia) The manosphere is a collection of websites, blogs, and online forums promoting masculinity, misogyny, and strong opposition to feminism. Communities within the manosphere include men's rights activists, incels (involuntary celibates), Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW), pick-up artists (PUA), and fathers' rights groups.

When’s the last time you changed your mind? I don’t mean about what to have for breakfast but changed your mind about a deeply held belief? Its not an easy thing to do but by challenging our assumptions we can sometimes see the world more clearly. That’s what Shemsah Farooq did by re-examining her beliefs about who she might like to marry. As a never previously married high flying professional Muslim woman she had always thought she should try to find a spouse of a similar status; but all that changed a couple of years ago on the eve of the pandemic. As usual this is a meandering conversation with the air of two people shooting the breeze about the oddities of Muslim dating :) Some of the topics we discuss are: - Halal pandemic dating. - Why people find it hard to meet and prefer to text. - Finding a spouse without fixating on trying to find a spouse. - Managing mismatched expectations and rejection. - How a good healthy divorce purges bad habits, builds resilience and develops depth of character. - Wondering if single people can cope with a divorcee. - Why it might be in your interest to widen your search. - The pros/cons of marrying a divorcee. - The difference between baggage and experience. - How to retain optimism in your search. - And ‘Living the possibility of love’. :) If you have any comments, feedback or suggestions pls DM me on Twitter/Insta: @moiazam Or email me divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com Enjoy! Imran

In this episode I speak with Sarah Khan Bashir, a Muslim lawyer based in the UK. Sarah runs SKB Law; a specialist Family Law firm providing services to the Muslim and South East Asian community. Its a fascinating meandering conversation where we shoot the breeze about: - Whether you really need to get lawyers involved when splitting up - Why Muslims are getting divorced these days - Intra-family marriage dynamics - What ‘Vata Sata’ is (?!) - Navigating the grey area between therapy and legal advice - Balancing commercial goals vs providing a community service Sarah was super to speak with and I hope you get something from our discussion. Feedback welcome: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com DM: @moiazam on Tw/Insta

Whilst I’ve been publishing this podcast series over the last 12 months a number of listeners have emailed me about their relationship dilemmas. In this episode we hear from ‘Naeem’; a young, educated, articulate Muslim guy from India who takes his faith seriously. He’s keen to get married and has met someone Jess fallen in love with. At the beginning things are great between them but as time goes on the cracks begin to appear. Should he try to hold it together or call it off? If you want to comment on anything you’ve heard in this episode please use #dmdad on Twitter or Instagram and we can carry on the conversation. Please remember to be respectful when offering opinion. General contact: @moiazam tw/insta or email DivorcedMuslimDad@Gmail.com

I've been dating since my divorce in 2011; trying to navigate the new world of online dating whilst adhering to the tenants of my faith has been the trickiest of balancing acts. I've made a tonne of mistakes over the years meaning wasted time, money and emotional energy. Although I'm yet to find success online it hasn't made me a relationship sceptic; if anything the amazing women I've met along the way have given me hope for the future. In this episode I discuss what it was like to date after a ten year marriage, the challenges of Muslim dating, why I date non Muslim women and the best way to find a date online. Enjoy. Get in touch. Insta: @moiazam / divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com

It's clear that the quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our relationships. If that's the case then it makes sense to assess how we behave with people we care about; especially when they act in a way we find hurtful. Is our reponse constructive or destructive? Do we seek to engage and resolve or hide away? Are we prepared to be honest, brave and vulnerable? In this short but essential episode you'll find out how to assess your own level of emotional maturity and why embarking on the journey towards improving it makes for happier healthier relationships with our partners. Comments/feedback/critique welcome: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com or DM @moiazam on Twitter/Instagram

Good looks? Check. Great job? Check. Good Muslim? Check. Shared interests? Check. Great family? Check? Emotionaly healthy? Check. Now if you manage to find someone to marry that ticks all these boxes then you've hit the jackpot right? Well not necessarily. There's another dimension you really should consider that's absolutely crucial; spiritual compatability. In this episode of Insights Alyas and I discuss what 'spirtual compatability' is, how it should manifest in a marriage, how it differs from religious compatability, why searching for 'a good Muslim' isn't enough and what we can do to develope our spiritual nature. This episodes was so much fun to record. The time flew by. Always a good sign. I hope you get something from it. Comments/feedback/critique welcome: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com or DM @moiazam on Twitter/Instagram

It's taken a bit longer than expected but in this episode I'm finally talking about my divorce: how we went about it, the emotional journey I've undertaken and some of the lessons I've learned. You'll also hear why I believe emotional compatibility between couples is more important than having common interests, why you're probably wasting your time looking for a soulmate and why 'til death do us part' is highly unlikely. This one's probably best listened to when you have done quiet time to yourself. Chk it out. Listen I do love hearing from you so don't by shy, get in touch here: DM Tw/Insta: @moiazam or divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com

Tariq is a dear friend; someone I've known for over 20 years. He married in 1996 and 16 years and 4 kids later he experienced the anguish of a painful divorce. Remarkably only 12 months later he found love again in a far away land. As someone who has been single after divorce for many years I wanted to hear first hand how he overcame the heartache and trauma and how he was able to find the capacity to love again. I thought I knew everything about Tariq's story but whilst recording this episode he opened up like never before and laid his soul bare. So much to take away from this one. If you have comments/feedback/question please do contact me here: tw/Insta @moiazam or divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com

A newly married couples first experience of intimacy togther is a critical moment that sets the tone for the immediate and perhaps long term future of a relationship. In this episode Alyas Karmani (imam, psychologist, sex therapist) and I speak candidly about intimacy problems Muslim couples experience, the increasing prevalence of psychosexual disfunction, the impact of pornography on sexualities health and the path to a happy sex life. It's a frank and open episode so if you're of a sensitive disposition you might want to give it a miss but I'd encourage you to 'lie back and think of England' as they say and give it a go! All jokes aside I hope by the end you feel it was a well worth 45mins of your time. As usual if you want to send any questions, comments or constructive feedback please contact me at divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com or @moiazam on Twitter/Instagram.

Becoming a father is straight forward. Being a dad is not. Add to the mix the desire to bring up your children as Muslims at a time when Islam is under the spotlight doesn't lighten the load. In this episode I talk about my experience of becoming a father and my sometimes painful transition to embracing parenthood. I talk about helping my kids to forge their Islamic identity in a hostile environment, the difference between managing kids and parenting and why living your life through your kids is a recipe for disaster. Check it out. Enquiries: Tw/Insta: @moiazam / divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com (If you are a woman and have a perspective on relationships within the Muslim community then please get in touch. I'm keen to include a female voice on this podcast)

It's summertime here in the UK and that means one thing...wall to wall weddings! You just can't move for invitations. But something strange had happened over the years with the simple wedding transformed into incredibly elaborate and extravagant affairs with no expense spared and nothing left to chance. But what about the actual marriage itself? How much marriage planning had gone in to ensuring the happy couple stands the best chance of remaining happy? As usual Alyas Karmani (Imam, Psychologist, Counsellor) had a great deal to say on this episode: why the Islamic marriage contract (Nikkah) reflects long term thinking, why he doesn't want it recognised under English law and why women should demand their worth! Check it out. Please get in touch here: Tw/Insta: @moiazam / divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com (If you are a woman and have a perspective on relationships within the Muslim community then please get in touch. I'm keen to include a female voice on this podcast)