Matthew Schott, the man behind CCRH and the voice of Pastor Clearwater, has a BRAND NEW one-man improv performance, THE SAGA OF THE SHINING EMBLEM, that will have its world premiere Friday March 2nd, 2018 at 10:30pm at The PIT Loft! Matt recently appeared on the Pro Wrestling Podcast Much Ado About Wrestling, to talk about […]

Pastor Clearwater, It has come to my attention that your time at the Beavertail Historical Society has come to a firey end. It would appear we need to, once again, find a new placement for you. This time, I have an idea that I believe should suit your particular skill set. Its well known that […]

While the Pastor prepares for another new job as part of his community service, he tries to knock out a few more hours by testing his skills as an audiobook narrator. Listen as the Pastor guides you through a spooky new interactive audiobook from the good people at Industrial Illusions. Listen at your own risk!* […]

Pastor Clearwater, It has come to my attention that your time in the employment of the local bowling alley has come to an end. I thought that you could keep yourself out of trouble at such a simple job but it appears I gave you too much credit. I spoke with the alley and apparently you […]

Pastor Clearwater, It has come to my attention that there was yet another tragedy in the halls of John Wilkes Booth Secular Academy for Grades K-12. Unfortunately it would seem your former superior and Lunch Czar was actually notorious Russian gangster (NAME REDACTED). The majority of the crimes committed that day have been added to […]

In light of the recent woes at the newspaper, the Pastor takes on the responsibility of reading a backlog of missed obituaries from Beavertail. Listen as the Pastor pays tribute to a number of fallen townspeople (incidentally, many of whom have appeared on this program). The Pastor will be organizing a “catch-all vigil” for the deceased, […]

Pastor Clearwater, My name is Ethel Laharl, I’m the social worker assigned to your case. As you know, your official sentence was 13 weeks community service for the crimes of “Name Lying” and “Baring False Witness Upon name of the Church”. You are therefor going to be given a job here in town which you […]

Pastor Clearwater returns on March 6th. In the meantime, get ready for the new season by diving into the world of Beavertail Detective, Jim Silvers. Silver Streak: Chapter 4, Forget It Jim… Jim Silvers goes into the sewers for the thrilling conclusion of Silver Streak. What will he find in the sewers? The Axe Man? The Pastor? Deborah […]

Pastor Clearwater returns on March 6th. In the meantime, get ready for the new season by diving into the world of Beavertail Detective, Jim Silvers. Silver Streak: Chapter 3, The Axe Man Cometh Detective Jim Silvers takes up smoking, switches his focus to a different case, and obtains a tape from “The Axe Man.” There’s another […]

Pastor Clearwater returns on March 6th. In the meantime, get ready for the new season by diving into the world of Beavertail Detective, Jim Silvers. Silver Streak: Chapter 2, Lost In The Supermarket Detective Jim Silvers continues his hunt for any information about the missing Pastor. He starts looking at a supermarket and teaches us at […]

Pastor Clearwater returns on March 6th. In the meantime, get ready for the new season by diving into the world of Beavertail Detective, Jim Silvers. Silver Streak: Chapter 1, The Hunt Begins Detective Jim Silvers takes over the reigns of the podcast in the absence of Pastor Creedence Clearwater (Creekwater?). Jim recruits future junior detectives, sets […]

Hey Everyone, I realize I’ve neglected to actually tell you what’s going on in these episodes and accidentally been posting my emails instead. That ends now. In the Season Finale, The Pastor invites the rest of the religious figures from the town over for an old-fashioned “Pastor-Off.” Things become tense. Someone might lose their church. […]

The trial of the century, The People vs. Donald Falcom, has come to a close. As per Beavertail tradition, the all-female jury returned from their delibirations at the Beavertail Holiday Inn’s special Jury Delibiration chamber and spa, to announce their verdict. After weeks of debate and arguments from the Defense, Beavertail’s own Pastor Creedence Clearwater […]

The town of Beavertail has been rocked a PTA election that left 26 people dead, a snake infestation and an animal uprising but now its about about to face the biggest thing It’s seen all year: A trial. Donald Falcon, local podcast engineer is facing murder charges after the body of his brother-in-law, one Todd […]

Strap-in, ladies and gentlemen. The recording you are about to hear is from an ACTUAL classroom. Beavertail Middle School has become the first of what is sure to be tens of hundreds of schools taking part in a brand new audio-substitute teacher program the Pastor and I created. Using an incredibly life-like child-based recording device […]

ATTENTION BEAVERTAIL! This is an urgent news bulletin. The body of local resident and best selling author, Todd Sinnoh was discovered this morning in the Murasaki Woods two miles south of the Main Street Denny’s. The body was discovered last night at 2am by local high school students Bobby Burt and Ashley Apples who were […]

THE PASTOR IS BACK THIS WEEK WITH A VERY SPECIAL OFFER!! THIS IS ONE EXCITING BARGAIN YOU AREN’T GOING TO WANT TO PASS UP!! YOU AREN’T GOING TO FIND SAVINGS LIKE THIS ANYWHERE ELSE IN TOWN!!! THOSE IN NEED OF TRANSPORTATION PLEASE LISTEN AND CONTACT THE PASTOR OR MYSELF IMMEDIATELY!!!! BUT THATS NOT ALL WE […]

Mr. Donald Falcon, My name is Patty Audino. I am writing to you on behalf of the Beavertail Public Library to ask you to please return the following books:  Investing in Incesting: The Do’s and Don’ts of Sibling Seduction – Ted Trubbish  Email Management: How to Prevent Embarrassing Emails from Leaking Online – Jessica Cofagrigus […]

Description: Exciting News everybody! We have a special treat for you this week, a brand new mini-episode of the Creedence Clearwater Revival Hour, Live from the Beavertail Animal Shelter! This one is for all you animal lovers out there! On a totally unrelated note, does anyone know how to keep your phone from uploading voicemails […]

Hello, This is an automated message being sent out to the entirety of Beavertail (Or at least the ones of ya’ll whose email addresses I was able to find which, to be honest, wasn’t many) regarding a new missing person here in town. Local resident and best-selling author, Todd Sinnoh has been missing for 48 […]