In this episode, I open up about my journey with softness, vulnerability, and discovering my fearful-avoidant attachment style. I share how those patterns showed up in dating—especially with one man I really wanted but pulled away from—and the self-sabotage loop I didn’t even know I was stuck in. We’ll talk about what softness is (and what it’s not), how femininity is rooted in our relationship with God, and what it takes to let go of old patterns so you can attract love that actually aligns with your desires. If you’ve ever found yourself retreating just when love gets close, this episode will help you see the pattern, name it, and start breaking free.

In this episode, I get real about the lie I believed that kept me chasing after the “perfect” man who didn’t exist. The truth is—even the best relationships are not 100%. That’s where the 80/20 rule comes in: 80% of what you need to thrive, and 20% that may be missing or imperfect. I share personal stories (including how high school Stacey overlooked character for cute faces 🙃), lessons learned about attraction vs. values, and why character will outlast butterflies every single time. You’ll also learn how to identify your own 80%—your non-negotiable core values—so you stop settling for less or holding out for someone who doesn’t exist. If you’ve ever wondered, “Should I stay or should I go?” in dating, this episode will give you the clarity you need to answer that question with confidence. I share personal stories (including how high school Stacey overlooked character for cute faces 🙃), lessons learned about attraction vs. values, and why character will outlast butterflies every single time. You’ll also learn how to identify your own 80%—your non-negotiable core values—so you stop settling for less or holding out for someone who doesn’t exist. If you’ve ever wondered, “Should I stay or should I go?” in dating, this episode will give you the clarity you need to answer that question with confidence.

Girl, here’s the truth: God is specific. So why are we still being vague when it comes to what we desire in a man? In this episode, I’m inviting you into the exact conversation I had with God about my desires—no filters, no shame. From the pressures of the invisible clock to the temptation to "settle just a little," we’re talking about it all. We’ll walk through: Why vague prayers lead to vague results The Exodus blueprint that inspired The List What it looks like to cancel out confusion and only entertain clarity How to reject “I’m just trying to see” energy—because you’re not a maybe And the real reason specificity builds belief Plus, I’ll share 3 tangible ways I’m showing up in dating now that I’ve gotten clear—with myself, with God, and with potential partners. 🛠️ Resources Mentioned: 📝 The List E-Book: Your guided tool to name your dating desires with clarity & boldness 💬 Join the Bold Dating Community: [Insert link] 🎧 Share this with a friend who’s tired of dating in limbo

You’ve been praying… faithfully, tearfully, hopefully. But let’s be honest—it’s starting to feel like your love life is on permanent do not disturb mode. If you grew up in the church, you’ve likely heard, “Just pray and trust God,” but when it comes to your romantic desires, the silence can feel deafening. In this episode, we’re reviving your prayer life—not with empty platitudes, but with purpose, clarity, and faith that doesn’t waver when things get dry. I’m breaking down how to shift your prayer language, what it means to truly ask for a Boaz and be ready for him, and why consistency in your spiritual ask is just as important as alignment in your daily actions. This is not about begging or bargaining with God. It’s about standing in bold belief, refining your request, and praying like a woman who knows she's already heard.

Girl, if you're waiting for a man to start living your life—you’re doing it backwards. In this episode, I’m breaking down the one date that will change your confidence, your magnetism, and your standards—and it doesn’t involve a man at all. We’re talking about solo dating—what it is, why it matters, and why you might be avoiding it. Whether it’s lack of time, not knowing where to go, or lowkey being bitter about doing it alone—this episode is your loving push to reclaim your time, your joy, and your standards. I even share my personal solo adventure to Madrid and how it unlocked a version of me I would’ve never met if I waited for a relationship. By the end of this episode, you’ll be ready to put on your cute dress, plan a date with YOU, and show up for yourself in a whole new way.

Sis, are you confusing friendliness with flirtation? If you’ve ever left a conversation wishing you’d shown your interest instead of freezing up—this episode is for you. In this juicy and practical lesson, I’m teaching you how to flirt like the bold, bougie, and God-aligned woman you are. We’re talking soft eyes, gentle smiles, and the flirty finesse that invites the right kind of masculine attention. Let’s make sure you're not sending friend vibes when your heart is ready for something more. ✨ What You’ll Learn in This Episode Why you might be coming off more “church professional” than magnetic and flirty My Signature Flirt Combo: soft eyes, a gentle smile, a caught-off-guard compliment, and a light touch How to create flirtatious moments that feel natural, not forced The exact phrases to use that open the door without chasing The difference between being inviting vs. being too guarded Why you must align with your most authentic self to attract aligned connections 💡 Power Takeaways Flirting is not performance, it’s energy: When you soften your body, energy, and tone—you create space for a man to pursue. Soft eyes are your secret weapon: Learn to drop the forehead tension and let your feminine energy lead. Compliments are conversation starters: Use unexpected compliments to open the door—without losing your mystery. Confidence is magnetic: You don’t have to prove anything. Your presence is the message.

In this episode, we're getting real about the one thing that might be standing between you and your dream relationship—social media. Yep, maybe it is that doggone phone. I’m breaking down how overconsuming social media can quietly sabotage your dating life by eroding your self-trust, triggering unhealthy comparison, and making you lose hope in real love. I’m sharing personal reflections, client insights, and even a funny hypothetical story (that may or may not be about me 👀) to help you recognize when your standards are truly yours—or just a reflection of someone else’s curated reality. Plus, I’m issuing a bold 30-day challenge that might just be the reset you need to attract a relationship that actually aligns with you. Tune in to reclaim your clarity, your confidence, and your love story. ✨

Are you feeling stuck in your dating life? It might be time for a change! In this episode, we’re talking about the power of switching up your routine to attract new experiences and new people. If you’ve been going to the same places, doing the same things, and expecting different results—it’s time to shake things up. If your dating life feels stagnant, it’s time to switch up your routine and reposition yourself for fresh, exciting opportunities. In this episode, we’re talking about how making intentional changes in your environment, habits, and mindset can shift your dating experience in powerful ways. Here’s the breakdown: 🔥 New Supply – The Men! → When you step into new spaces, you expose yourself to a fresh pool of potential partners. The same environments attract the same types of men, so if you want to meet someone different, you have to go somewhere different. ✨ You Become the New Demand → By elevating your presence and expanding where you show up, you naturally create demand. Your energy shifts, your confidence rises, and you become the woman men are drawn to in these new spaces. 🌍 New Experiences, New Energy → When you start exploring different environments—whether it’s a new coffee shop, an upscale lounge, a networking event, or a hobby class—you attract new interactions, perspectives, and possibilities. Want to meet high-quality men? Put yourself in the spaces where they are and bring your most magnetic self. Tune in to learn how a simple routine change can open the door to better connections and aligned dating experiences!

Ladies, let’s talk about something we all feel but don’t often admit—the pressure to rush in our dating lives. In this episode of The Bougie Dating Coach Podcast, Stacey Bessard is here to remind you that it’s okay to take your time. Using the story of Mary and Martha from the Bible, Stacey breaks down why rushing through life and dating like Martha won’t get you closer to what you want. Instead, she encourages you to lean into the peace, presence, and purpose of being like Mary. This episode is packed with relatable truths every successful, single Christian woman needs to hear: You’re not desperate. You’re worth so much more than settling. The inventory isn’t running out. The right person for you is still out there. All you need is one. It’s not about quantity but about finding someone who truly aligns. Plus, Stacey gives real-life tips on what to do while you’re taking your time—like being present for yourself, taking intentional breaks, and surrounding yourself with environments that match the life you’re building. If you’ve ever felt like time isn’t on your side, this episode is your reminder to slow down, trust God’s timing, and focus on showing up as the best version of YOU. Tune in for the encouragement you need to keep dating boldly and unapologetically!

Ladies, have you ever compromised on something you swore was a dealbreaker, only to regret it later? In this episode, we’re talking about the power of making your non-negotiables truly yours and standing firm in them as an act of self-love. I’ll share a personal story about how compromising my boundaries taught me a hard but necessary lesson, and we’ll dive into three transformative points: You teach people how to treat you—when you honor your boundaries, others will too. Shift your focus—it’s not about what someone can do for you, but about what they add to your life and who they truly are. Becoming high-value—sticking to your non-negotiables elevates your confidence, self-worth, and the quality of your relationships. By the end of this episode, you’ll feel empowered to redefine your standards, honor your values, and attract connections that truly align with who you are. ✨ This Week’s Challenge: Write down your top three non-negotiables and reflect on whether you’re living by them. 🎧 Don’t forget to subscribe and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it! Let’s make your non-negotiables the foundation for a bold, colorful, and aligned dating life. 💖

​​In this episode of The Bougie Dating Coach, Stacey Bessard challenges the traditional mindset of prioritizing marriage as the ultimate life goal. She dives into why hyper-focusing on marriage can lead to losing yourself and settling for less, and how shifting the focus to you—your growth, self-worth, and personal fulfillment—can transform your dating life in a magnificent way. Stacey shares practical steps to redefine your vision, elevate your self-care, and create a life that feels full and meaningful, whether or not marriage is on the horizon. With wisdom and encouragement, she reminds us that marriage is a beautiful partnership but not a finish line—you are the prize, no matter what a man says on his podcast show, and your journey begins with you. Tune in for an empowering conversation on living boldly, authentically, and unapologetically.

In this episode, we explore the emotional, psychological, and even social reasons why people often feel tempted to reconnect with an ex and practical strategies for staying strong and focused on moving forward. You are not alone there is hope and you don't have to feel stuck in the cycle you've worked so hard to heal from.

In this episode, we dive into the essential signs to watch for in dating—both the red flags that signal danger and the green lights that lead to healthy, fulfilling connections. Key Topics Discussed: Red Flags: How unhealed wounds and unclear boundaries can lead to tolerating behaviors that are inconsistent, disrespectful, or emotionally unavailable. Learn how to recognize these warning signs and avoid relationships that drain your peace. Green Lights: Why we often overlook positive traits like consistency, honesty, and respect, and how to reframe these as the foundation of meaningful connections. Discover how to embrace stability and stop questioning whether you deserve healthy love. Mindset Shifts: How identifying and honoring your needs helps you attract relationships that align with your values and bring peace into your life. Takeaway Message: Red flags teach you what to avoid, but green lights show you what you deserve. By trusting your intuition and focusing on relationships that align with your best self, you can build love rooted in respect, trust, and authenticity.

In this episode of The Bougie Dating Coach, Stacey Bessard delves into dating in your 30s, focusing on the importance of confidence, clarity, and faith. She shares personal stories and insights to inspire single Christian women to approach dating boldly, valuing alignment and authenticity over settling. Stacey emphasizes that clarity attracts the right people, and that each dating experience, even if it doesn’t lead to a relationship, is a chance for growth. She also highlights how faith can guide and empower you in your dating life, reminding listeners to trust in God’s timing and His plan for their love journey.

In this episode of The Bougie Dating Coach, Stacey Bessard dives into the power of dating authentically and unapologetically—on your own terms. With societal and family pressures all around, it can be challenging to stay true to what you genuinely want in a relationship. Stacey explores how to define your unique values and standards, recognize and set boundaries, and confidently ignore external expectations. Listeners will come away inspired to embrace their individuality, trust their intuition, and pursue relationships that align with who they truly are. This episode is your guide to finding love by staying true to yourself every step of the way.

Welcome to The Bougie Dating Coach with Stacey Bessard, where we empower successful, single Christian women to date boldly, embrace their colorful individuality, and attract the love that truly aligns. In each episode, Stacey combines insight, faith, and real talk to break down common dating challenges, shatter limiting beliefs, and inspire you to hold out for high-quality connections. With practical tips and fun, relatable advice, Stacey will guide you toward authentic, fulfilling relationships—on your own terms. Hit subscribe and join us on this journey to dating with elegance, confidence, and a whole lot of faith!